DEFIANCE ROAD: 2019

[Jman2k3]

ACE IN THE HOLE

Cut to the arena. The ring is in full view from the bottom of the rampway for a moment before pulling back and exposing a ladder in the foreground.

Cut to a graphic and a quick music stinger.



Cut to the hard camera. In the ring, Lance Warner and Benny Doyle stand at the ready. Doyle holding a velvet bag, shaped very similarly to a title belt.

Lance Warner:
Ladies and Gentlemen of the FAITHFUL! Before we begin tonight FIRST EVER … ACE in the HOLE ladder match! I take great honor in being able to introduce you to the freshly commissioned and handcrafted… ACE of DEFIANCE belt!

Lance turns toward Benny Doyle, who begins to remove the velvet bag.

DDK:
Quite the history-making occasion here tonight at DEFIANCE Road, Angus!

Angus:
Why did he say it like that? ...belt? Why not Championship belt?
Doyle struggles a bit before…

DDK:
That is because; this belt serves as a trophy, a symbol of victory and the holders right to challenge for the FIST of DEFIANCE!

Angus:
Then why a belt!?

...unveiling the brand new gold-laden belt.

Warner:
Ladies and gentlemen… the ACE of DEFIANCE!

Angus:
Bronson?!

Doyle carefully secures his grip with the straps folded behind the front plate and holds the belt up for the crowd to see. The Faithful pop with the initial physical and figurative exalting and continue in waves as he stakes it around the ring to each side of the ropes.

Warner:
The winner of tonight’s ACE in the HOLE, the competitor who is able to ascend the ladder and bring down the ACE of DEFIANCE, will be eligible with proper notice to a title match for the FIST of DEFIANCE!

The Faithful pop once more at the possibilities as the hook it lowered from high above the DEF-Plex arena. Benny Doyle reaches out, taking hold of the hook and secures the new belt before signaling for it to be raised once more.

DDK:
There it is folks! The stage is set and tonight we will see…

Once it is at the proper height, Warner and Doyle quietly exit the ring as Darren Quimbley enters.

Angus:
… Scott Stevens’ head lobbed off in a freak ladder accident!

DDK:
Angus!

Darren Quimbey:
Introducing first …

♫ “Smilin’ & Dyin’” by Green River ♫

Darren Quimbey:
.... from Seattle, Washington! Weighing in at two hundred and twenty-two pounds…DEFIANCE’s Favorite Son! … “SUB POP” SCOTTTT! DOUUGGGGLASSSSSS!

Scott Douglas emerges through the curtain in his standard tattered cut off jean shorts and a black t-shirt. He throws up a quick Judd Nelson-esque fist to a pop from the Faithful before giving a knowing look toward the ladder at the foot of the rampway.

DDK:
Scott Douglas is no stranger to that apparatus. He and Mikey Unlikely battled over the Southern Heritage Title at ACTS of DEFIANCE last year over who would be the one true Southern Heritage Champion!

Angus:
Apparatus? … you mean that run of the mill, standard as hell … LADDER!?

The lights in the arena go pitch black, as red lasers and spotlights light up the area as

♫ "Dead Man Walking" by Crucifix ft. The Lacs ♫

Plays throughout the arena.

DDK:
New music or old, the Faithful still hate Scott Stevens.

Angus:
I hope he falls and ends his career tonight.

The slow bellow of the guitar hits as the video screen lights up and flashes across the screen a Texas flag, with the words, “Texas Born. Texas Bred.” “Texas Forever.“ branded into the flag. The cheers that had once filled the arena quickly turn into jeers. The Faithful know who is about to walk out and they are letting him know it by chanting his favorite chant as the final image that is displayed across the screen and that message reads in bold, capitalized letters… SCOTT STEVENS.as

Darren Quimbey:
From The Great State of Texas, weighing in at 256 pounds…SCOTT! STEEEEEEEVEEEEEEEENS!

Quimbey can barely be heard over the crowd as a spotlight hits the darkened stage to reveal Scott Stevens.

DDK:
The former FIST has a look of confidence on his face.

Angus:
He’s probably just constipated, Keebs.

Stevens makes his way down the ramp and pays no attention to the Filth cursing him out and throwing trash his way.

Angus:
Stevens doing his probational duties of being a trash can for our great fans here.

Stevens climbs the ring steps and makes his way into the ring. Once inside, he stretches out on the ring ropes.

The lights go out in the arena. After a moment’s delay…

♫”I’m So Humble” by the Lonely Island (feat. Adam Levine)♫

A spotlight illuminates the ramp, showing the D standing on a gigantic double throne. Four of BRAZEN’s talent are dressed like court jesters, holding him above their heads. On one side of the D is O-Face, who’s wearing a lacey frilly goth dress that flowed off into sharp metal corners at the edge of all the hems. The D wears an Armani suit, wearing a golden monocle and a top hat.

DDK:
What the-

Angus:
Is he the Monopoly Man?

Behind them, Flex Kruger wears a traditional Roman Gladiator outfit, and begins to whip the BRAZEN talent. They reluctantly trudge to ringside.

DDK:
The D has been part of DEFIANCE for over three and a half years Angus.

Angus:
It’s amazing how fast time flies when you hate someone.

DDK:
Recently he’s been getting into it with Kerry Kuroyama, and it was Kerry that provided the D with this opportunity tonight.

Angus:
Yeah, by branding him in the face with a chair.

DDK:
You gotta wonder why Flex is out there.

Angus:
C’mon Keebs, it doesn’t matter. He can’t stay out here. This is a ladder match.

DDK:
There are no rules Angus in a ladder match. The only way the match ends is when one man ascends, and retrieves the prize.

Angus:
There are some rules Keebs.

DDK:
Really? You’re gonna talk to me about rules?

Angus:
Why else would Benny Doyle even be out there?

The cabal of D’s entourage reaches ringside. With a large heave and a grunt, the BRAZEN JOKERS set the large contraption they were carrying the D and O-Face down. It bridges the gap of the ring apron and the guardrail. Now on three sides of the ring are varying sized ladders, while off to the left side of the entrance ramp is a large beautiful adorned platform and throne.

Darren Quimbey:
Yay. It’s The D. BOO.

The D glares daggers at Darren Quimbey, snarling. He walks off the platform onto the ring apron, and kicks the dirt off his boots before entering the ring.

DDK:
I think Benny Doyle heard you Angus.

On the outside, Benny Doyle rushes over to Flex. He just sighs, bridging his temple before pointing to the large throne. He just throws his hands to his side in frustration. Flex shakes it off, holding and pointing to a book that says “RULES” on the cover, scribbled in the sharp edged writing of what could only be described as a serial killer’s ransom note.

DDK:
I. I don’t think that’s DEFIANCE’s official rulebook, Angus.

Angus:
Yeah. Ours is red.

Flex pleads his case, and Doyle makes a sign that he’s on a short leash. Flex smiles, and then returns to occasionally whipping the BRAZEN “Jokers.”

DDK:
That’s just uncalled for.

♫”Man in the Box” by Alice in Chains♫

The Faithful erupt as a nervous Klein steps out from the backstage area onto the ramp. He wears a t-shirt with a BOX on it. The box has a Bronson Box inspired mustache, which Klein has actually grown himself.

DDK:
I did not know Klein could grow facial hair that fast.

Angus:
There’s a lot of things we don’t know about Klein Keebs. It took us three years to see his face.

Klein humbly walks to the ring, waving to the crowd. Every now and then, he notices the camera filming him during his entrance and he tries to duck out of frame. The camera man has a hard time keeping up with him.

DDK:
Klein isn’t particularly used to the spotlight. If there are polar opposites, I’d say it’s the former partnership between the D and Klein.

Angus:
And they’ve had a few wars themselves over the past few months. The D beat Klein to challenge Elise for her SoHer. Klein beat Flex to get himself to the dance.

Klein reaches ringside, as Flex stands there threatening. He cracks the whip. Klein just looks at him with one eye closed. Then he notices the camera and quickly slides into the ring.

Darren Quimbey:
From Philadelphia Pennsylvania, weighing in tonight at two hundred and seventy-two pounds, he is the Man Who Thinks Outside the Box, KLEEEEIIN!

Klein politely waves to the crowd. The D snickers at him. Up next.

Junior Keeling:
AHEM! HEY! UP HERE, DUMBASSES!

The camera then pans up to the stage where Junior Keeling greets the fans like the non-Scott Stevens bag of shit that he is. In a fancy gray sport coat, he grins.

Junior Keeling:
Introducing the voice behind the voice of our Titan of Industry and your FIRST ACE of DEFIANCE… My pop, Thomas Keeling!

The booing is even louder when Thomas walks out behind his son and nods on the stage, looking fancy in a Brooks Brothers gray pinstripe suit and dress shoes.

Thomas Keeling:
Ladies and gentlemen… as my son just so eloquently stated… your FIRST ACE of DEFIANCE and monster these five other men are forfeiting their careers to tonight… Standing at seven foot one…

Junior Keeling:
AND A HALF!

Thomas Keeling:
Weighing in at 375 pounds… Presented by The Family Keeling...”THE TITAN OF INDUSTRY” URIEL CORTEZ!

And a new theme now…

♫ “Legend Has It” by Run The Jewels ♫

The fans jeer as the MASSIVE mountain of muscle from California steps out onto the stage, also in a new black suit. He unbuttons his coat slowly, hands the massive coat to Junior and then undoes his cuffs so he can wrestle in his dress shirt and pants. The monster eyes the current participants of the match one by one before entering the ring.

Angus:
New tune… but same New HOSS Overlord, Keebs.

DDK:
Uriel Cortez has been on a tear since he took out Andy Sharp and qualified for his match. He’s looked as dominant as I’ve seen him.

The music cuts as Uriel enters the ring and shoots a glance at the other competitors. Stevens stays away and shoots the giant the bird. Uriel ignores him and eyes The D. Scott Douglas doesn’t move and stares up at the giant, then Uriel shoots a death glare at Klein. The Family Keeling maintain a safe distance from the action at ringside. As Uriel now takes a corner to himself, a steam engine rumbles toward the screen on the DEFiatron.

“ALLLL ABOARD~! AH HA HA HA HA HA HA…”

♫”Crazy Train” by Ozzy Osbourne♫

A light cloud of steam and fog surrounds the entrance ramp as Jack Harmen parts the smoke. He throws up his devil horn taunt, while wearing his new “CRISIS ON INFINITE HARMEN’S” t-shirt.

Darren Quimbey:
From Los Angeles, California. He weighs in tonight at two hundred and seventeen pounds… he is your Friendly Neighborhood Lunatic… JACK, HAARRMEN!

Harmen takes a moment to soak in the cheers, before storming his way to ringside. As he passes by one of the set up ladders, he just walks underneath it without missing a step.

DDK:
The Wildcard, Jack Harmen. He probably has the most experience in a match like this, wouldn’t you say Angus?

Angus:
It’s probably a toss up between him, Stevens and Douglas, to be honest Keebs.

DDK:
Are you still keying his rental cars?

Angus:
I’m told he started riding a bike here. So I key that now.

Harmen reaches ringside and climbs to the top turnbuckle, before throwing his devil horn taunt high above his head. He looks down at the throne that’s bridging the ring and the guardrail and points to the D in confusion. He then laughs, hops off the turnbuckle, and just plops down into the seat.

The D immediately goes into a fit of rage, shouting at Harmen to get out. Flex rushes over, whip in hand, raised in a threatening manner. The D protests and shouts at Benny Doyle to get Harmen out of the chair, as Jack just yawns toward the D’s general direction. The D climbs onto the turnbuckle and yells, pointing at Harmen who doesn’t pay him any attention.

There’s a roar of cheers as Klein rushes up behind the D and shoves him off the top, into the seated Harmen and sending the throne toppling onto it’s back. Meanwhile, Scott Stevens rushes Douglas and takes him out with a Lariot. Uriel Cortez and Stevens pounce, stomping onto the fallen Sub Pop as Doyle calls for the bell.

DDK:
We are OFF Angus! Klein getting things started QUICK!

Angus:
And the vultures pounce on Scotty. Of course!

DDK:
No love lost between Stevens and Douglas, and I’m sure Uriel just sees the opportunity.

Stevens keeps putting the boots to Douglas and grabs him, tossing him face-first into the turnbuckle. He starts laying in with rights and lefts as Uriel turns back toward the center of the ring, looking across at the humble powerhouse Klein.

Angus:
HOOOOSSSSSSS! FFIIIIIEEEETO!

Klein waves at Uriel, and then that transitions into a “come hither” taunt. Cortez obliges, raising his gigantic palm and SLAMMING it into the chest of Klein. He falls to a knee but doesn’t go down, his front now bright red. Klein rears back and does a double palm overhead slap to Cortez’s chest. Uriel winces slightly but doesn’t physically move. He smiles toward Klein, raises his palm once more. The following strike echoes throughout the DEF-Plex, as Klein doesn’t go down but clutches his chest. He spins away from Cortez, wincing before returning to meet Uriel. Klein takes a moment and lunges, headbutting Uriel back a few staggering steps.

Angus:
This is everything I’ve ever wanted! CHRISTMAS AT THE SKAALAND HOUSEHOLD!

DDK:
These two are just beating each other senseless!

Angus:
I KNOW! IT’S GOOOOOOR’RAM GREAT!

Cortez returns, huge overhead chop. Klein backs off, but returns with a double knife edge chop to the chest. Tomahawk double chops to Klein’s shoulders, sends him down to his knee, before Cortez leans in and headbutts Klein down to the mat. Klein rolls to the apron, as Stevens throws Scott Douglas toward Uriel. Cortez catches him in a bear hug, gripping him tight. He looks to the corner and adjusts Douglas so he’s only gripping him by one arm, as Jack Harmen FLIES with a cross body. But he’s caught but Cortez, and now Douglas and Harmen are both victims of a two man bear hug. Cortez starts to swing both men around, their feet dangling off the ground.

DDK:
What an immense display of power from Uriel Cort---OH BOY!

Klein recovers behind Cortez and hooks him, sending him, and vicariously Harmen and Douglas flying over head with a german suplex. Cortez takes the brunt of it as Douglas and Harmen land on top of Uriel. While Klein lands, Scott Stevens is there to pounce with boots to the ribs and then one nice stomp to the face.

Angus:
That opportunistic scum of the earth. YOU MAKE NOTHING GREAT.

DDK:
Stevens certainly picking his spots, much to the D’s pleasure it seems.

The D has recovered across the ring and shouts encouragement at Stevens. Scott glares over to the PCP member, grabs Klein and throws him toward The D. The D raises his hands in protest but it does nothing to stop the huge shoulder block Klein does. Klein falls to his knees in a bit of lost adrenaline. The D flies onto his back and then back rolls into the bottom turnbuckle with a thud. Stevens hitches up the knee brace and charges, as Klein sidesteps and shoves him toward the D. Steven’s knee-trembler, while not fully effective, does catch the seated D square in the jaw. Scott stumbles from the momentum, as Klein reaches back and hits him with a neckbreaker.

Klein stands and looks across the ring at a furious Uriel Cortez. Cortez picks up a slight rag doll Scott Douglas and TOSSES him at Klein. Klein catches him, and sets him down, making sure he’s okay. Klein turns back and now Cortez just chucks Harmen at him. Klein again catches Harmen, but this time throws Harmen back at Cortez. Cortez catches Harmen and then belly to belly’s the Lunatic up and over the top rope, back onto the wooden platform. It appears that Flex Kruger has taken the throne itself off of the platform with the help of the BRAZEN Jokers, and is now setting it up on the rampway for the eventual coronation, one supposes.

Cortez roars back in the ring at Klein and Douglas, charging forward and taking both down with a double lariot. Cortez keeps running and slams into the corner turnbuckle, sandwiching the D. Uriel bounces out SPEAR’s a recovering Scott Stevens out of his boots! There’s an enthused sense of appreciation for the sheer athletic talent of Uriel, even if he is not a fan favorite. Uriel gets to a knee and looks out to the crowd before adjusting the collar of his dress shirt, flashing a smug smile.

DDK:
Uriel Cortez! My lord. That’s gotta make the Family Keeling’s ecstatic! And now Uriel Cortez is ALL ALONE in the center of the ring.

On the outside, Junior and Thomas celebrate before quickly grabbing a medium-sized ladder and awkwardly sliding it into the ring. Uriel picks up the ladder with one hand, and steadies it, using the second to open it directly underneath the Ace in the Hole. Cortez looks to the entrance ramp and sees Flex Kruger trying to get inside. Once the ladder is set, Uriel takes on step toward the apron and Flex immediately bails, hands raised in submission.

Flex Kruger:
I’m cool. I’m cool.

Cortez glares down at Flex.

DDK:
Flex may have made a wise decision to bail. Uriel is a man on fire!

Angus:
But it may have been the right move Keebs, Uriel hesitated!

Uriel turns back to his set up ladder and sees Jack Harmen on the other side of the ring apron. Cortez goes to him, as Harmen springboards off the top rope. Uriel goes to catch him, but Harmen just lands to the side of him and on the ladder, while quickly rushing up in a fit of adrenaline. The crowd gasps as Harmen’s fingertips clutch the title, just as Cortez shoves the ladder out from under him. Harmen’s able to leap before it falls and lands on his feet behind the Titan of the Industry. Harmen catches Uriel with a stiff superkick. Cortez stumbles back and onto his knee. Harmen off the ropes.

DDK:
Locomotive! No! Uriel steps into it and hooks Harmen, ATOMIC THROW! Just clear across the ring Angus!

Angus: [almost crying]
This is all I’ve ever wanted.

DDK:
Cortez is a man possessed Angus. This may be his match to lose.

Uriel turns back to the ladder and…

GLITTER TO THE FACE.

Uriel shakes it off, spitting some out of his mouth as he stares down the D. The D just freeze frames, hand outstretched, covered in glitter. Nervous, the D stammers.

The D:
She - She said it’d blind you.

HUGE headbutt takes the D off his feet. Cortez lifts the D by both his legs and does a wheelbarrow suplex the HARD way, using just the D’s feet. The D lands with a HUGE thud. Cortez stands, never releasing the D’s ankles, and then spins him like a Cesaro spin before lifting him in a deadlift like a spinebuster. Cortez hooks the D under the arms, tosses him high in the air, and just powerbomb deadlift drops the D onto the exposed folded up ladder.

O-Face and Flex on the outside both react in a squeamish way.

DDK:
Ooooh, I kind of wish I didn’t see that.

Angus:
Show it again. SHOW IT AGAIN! AWH Come on!

Cortez stands, only to be clipped in the back of the knee by Scott Stevens. It takes all the energy out of the Faithful before boos slowly rise to a cacophony. Uriel falters to one knee, as Stevens keeps on the leg with numerous stomps, slow and methodical. Each one takes a recovering Cortez back to a single knee. Uriel doesn’t stop fighting, stumbling to the corner to remain upright. When he does, Stevens knees him in the gut, and places the focused knee so it hangs on the middle rope. Stevens then just soccer punts it with a resounding echo.

Meanwhile, in the center of the ring, the ladder has been set up by Scott Douglas and he begins climbing. Stevens turns around and notices Sub-Pop a third of the way up and rushes to the opposite side. The two start climbing, each trying to strike with rights either around or through the ladder. Stevens reaches out and grabs Douglas by his hair, pulling him face-first into the ladder. Stevens then just holds him there, tugging at the hair as Scott kicks his legs against the bottom rungs.

Klein clobbers Stevens from behind, hooks him on his shoulders, and tosses him like a powerbomb into the prone and caught in the corner, Uriel Cortez. Douglas meanwhile, falls off the ladder, clutching his face.

DDK:
Oh man, that pull by Stevens into the ladder may have bloodied Douglas.

Angus:
Just the first Keebs! I don’t think any of these men escape this match without permanent injuries!

On the outside, Flex tosses the D back in. The D turns and sees Klein across the ring, and begs off, shouting at Flex.

The D:
Why?!

The D turns back to Klein and raises both hands in surrender, and then points to Uriel Cortez in the corner. He nods to Klein goads him on, and rushes past him. The D starts kicking Uriel in the gut, over, and over, as Uriel begins to pull his leg out from the middle rope.

The D turns back to Klein and mimics a tag, which gets a pop from the crowd. The D then steps aside and lets Klein through, if he wants.

DDK:
The D trying to get Klein back into the PCP with their patented Blacklist!

Angus:
It’s just a bunch of kicks.

DDK:
I don’t know if Klein was ever invited to the blacklist!

Klein steps forward, but Uriel powers out of the corner with a HUGE running shoulder tackle, taking the D off his feet. Klein and Uriel come face to face once more, as Klein hits him with a clubbing forearm. Uriel with a European uppercut. Klein with another forearm, and a second, before Uriel hits another European uppercut, that staggers Klein. Cortez closes the gap, pushing Klein into the ropes and sending him off the other side.

Klein tumbles out over the top rope to the outside, the top rope being pulled down by Jack Harmen. Harmen springboards into the ring, catching a stunned Uriel with a springboard Lou Thesz press, before raining down rights and lefts wildly onto the Industry standard.

DDK:
Jack Harmen igniting the fuse! He’s just going crazy Angus.

Angus:
He can’t go something he already is.

Harmen hops off and shouts to the Faithful who cheer in response. He notices the D recovering to his feet, and charges.

DDK:
LOCOMOTIVE TO THE D! Up and over! And one to Flex too! Getting too close to the action!

Flex tumbles off the apron as Harmen looks around the ring. He sees no one on the move and quickly rushes up the ladder.

DDK:
He’s wasting no time! Harmen is already at the top!

Harmen reaches up, trying to fumble with the hook, but he causes the belt to sway away from him. On the return, Scott Douglas is there to strike Harmen in the back. Douglas starts to climb up behind Harmen, hooks under his armpit and takes Harmen off the ladder with a belly to back suplex.

DDK:
Scott Douglas bleeding all over Harmen’s ribs with that belly to back. You saw the ring bounce, and that was only from maybe the fourth rung!

Douglas rolls over onto his knees and sees Uriel in the corner. Douglas charges, leaping onto Uriel before slamming a few rights into him. Sub-Pop grabs the top rope, spinning and huraconrada’s Cortez up and over the top rope. Douglas holds onto the ropes to land on the apron, only for Scott Stevens to rush up and catch him with a running knee-trembler. Douglas tumbles off of the apron into the guardrail on the outside.

Stevens sneers at Douglas as he falls.

DDK:
Stevens wasting time on a personal grudge here. Precious seconds he could be using to climb to the ACE!

The Scorpion turns to the ladder and starts climbing. He does so at a semi-brisk pace, but it’s not fast enough to outrun Klein, who slides back in the ring. Scott sees Klein enter the ring and decides to hop off the ladder. As Klein reaches his side and grabs the middle rung, Stevens catches him with his patented superkick. Klein tumbles into the ladder from the impact, sending it teetering and collapsing onto the mat.

DDK:
Remember the Alamo! Klein’s taken down like a ton of bricks!

Angus:
Stevens playing this smart, picking his spots. Most people would have just tried to keep climbing.

DDK:
Are you complimenting Scott Stevens?

Angus:
No. You’re the asshole.

DDK:
What?

Angus:
I mean Stevens. Stevens is an asshole.

DDK:
That’s better.

On the outside of the ring, The D has gotten to his feet and is shouting at the collection of four jesters that surround his destroyed throne.

The D:
You should have protected it with your LIVES! Now! Make sure I win this.

The D slips back into the ring and notices Stevens across the way. The D charges and Stevens ducks a right hand.

DDK:
TOXIC STING!

Springboard shoulder tackle dive from Scott Douglas, but Stevens doesn’t even turn around.

DDK:
ANOTHER TOXIC STING!

From the other side, Harmen’s in mid-air as Stevens leaps and catches him mid-dive.

DDK:
AND ANOTHER! When will it end!

Angus:
HOW BOUT NOW KEEBS!

Klein enters the ring and lifts Stevens onto his shoulders. He starts to spin Stevens around the ring, getting a rotation, and a second, a third until the D gets up and eats Stevens’ legs. Harmen’s up next and takes Stevens’ skull to his own. Douglas is last, colliding with Stevens’ legs and taking a tumble. Klein steadies himself, and just as he spins Stevens for the final ¾ neckbreaker, the Texan rakes the eyes and slips out, landing in front of Klein.

DDK:
NO WAY! TOXIC STING TO KLEIN! Scott Stevens has just decimated the entire field of the Ace in the Hole!

Angus:
Not the entire field Keebs.

Uriel Cortez has risen and stands directly behind the recovering Stevens. Stevens hears the crowd’s noise rise, and instinctively reaches behind, hooking Cortez’ head. He goes for a leap, but Cortez HOLDS Stevens in mid-air. Stevens kicks his legs, once, twice, before Cortez just CHUCKLES the former FIST of DEFIANCE halfway across the ring. He lands with a bounce on his back before rolling to the apron.

Cortez cracks his knuckles as he eyes, Stevens’. But from behind, the D spins him around and…

DDK:
FIRE IN THE FACE! The D just caught Uriel by surprise!

The D hooks Uriel Cortez and before Cortez can react, backflips into his version of the Destino.

DDK:
Netflix Money! The D is the only one standing Angus!

Angus:
Oh COME ON!

The D looks up to the rafters, seeing the dangling Ace in the Hole championship. He looks around the ring for the ladder.

DDK:
Wait, where’s the ladder?

Angus:
Can’t climb without a ladder dingus!

The D quickly assesses the situation and rushes to the corner where his throne once was. He shouts over the top rope to Flex to hand him a ladder. Flex scours under the ring and slips a ladder into the D. The D quickly picks it up, and sets it up in the center of the ring. The D ascends.

The Faithful laugh.

The ladder is only six feet at most, and even at the peak of the ladder, the D could not even think to reach the belt hanging 12 feet high above the ring. He turns to Flex.

The D:
THE HELL!?

The D had gotten about two thirds up before he abandons the ladder, kicking it over to the side. The D rushes over to the neutral corner where he last saw the ladder and leans over the top rope.

WHACK.

The ladder see-saw slams into the D’s skull, sending him sprawling onto his back. The devilish grin of Jack Harmen appearing as he slowly stands to reveal himself. Harmen grabs the chair that was the pendulum point and slides into the ring. The D rushes to his feet, clutching his face, where it looks like a tooth dislodged itself and was sent flying up into his nose.

DDK:
Ooooh. The D not looking like the Hollywood star he thinks he is.

Angus:
I think I’ve got a new lock screen Keebs.

The D reaches up to touch his mouth, a bit of blood covering his palm. He turns to Harmen and shouts.

The D:
YOU!

Harmen catches him in the gut with the top edge of the chair, doubling the D over before WHACKING him square in the small of the back. The D arches back in pain, down to his knees, trying to crawl away from Harmen. Jack slams the chair twice more into the D’s back, before the D can crawl his way under the bottom rope and land with a thud near the BRAZEN Jokers.

DDK:
And there goes The D. Harmen has another chance to get up that ladder!

Angus:
I’m going to laugh out loud after I say he just beat The D. Hahahaha. Because masturbation joke, Keebs!

With the path more or less cleared, The Wildcard grins at the fans who are fully supporting the idea of him becoming the first-ever Ace of DEFIANCE. The vet reaches for another ladder nearby and starts to head towards it, but when he gets there…

Douglas is there to stop him.

DDK:
Uh-oh, Douglas is back and he does NOT want Harmen to have the ladder!

Angus:
The crazy and the grunge. Let’s do this!

Douglas tries to pull the ladder but when Harmen tries to pull it back, Douglas lets it go and surprises Harmen, sending him flying back! Douglas slides into the ring and levels Harmen with a big Running Clothesline, then heads over to grab the ladder. But before he can do anything with it, Harmen is already back up and cracks him with a Dropkick, knocking him into the ladder in the corner!

DDK:
Oooooh! Harmen just stopped Scott Douglas in his tracks!

Harmen throws Douglas against the ladder and props up his prone body before sliding back across the ring to no doubt gear up for another Locomotive…

OOHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

The crowd goes nuts as Douglas THROWS Harmen overhead with a big Belly to Belly Suplex against the ladder in the corner! The Lunatic crumbles in a heap and now Douglas is up and about, taking notice of both Scott Stevens on one side of the ring starting to rise, along with Klein on the other side.

DDK:
Uh-oh, Douglas is gearing up for something…

Angus:
Stevens! Stevens! Take out Stevens!

Douglas grabs the ladder after wrecking Jack Harmen and hoists it up. Seeing Stevens start to get back onto the ring apron, he takes the ladder and spins…

CRACK!

Angus:
HA! SUCK IT DOWN!

Klein tries to get back into the ring on the adjacent side, but Douglas sees him coming as well…

CRACK!

DDK:
And one for Klein! Douglas now in the driver’s seat!

He finally decides enough is enough and starts to prop the ladder in the center of the ring when he sees the massive Uriel Cortez starting to rise on the outside once again, holding the back of his head and his face in pain, but still locked onto Douglas.

Angus:
Awww, shit he’s back up! The Family Keeling present a killing machine!

DDK:
Douglas sees him coming, though! Dropkick to the knees to take the big man out!

The crowd rallies behind DEFIANCE’S Favorite Son as he looks out to the stumbling Cortez before he runs off the ropes…

DDK:
Suicide Dive! He catches Uriel, but he’s still on his feet!

Scott recovers from his landing, but The Titan of Industry is still on his feet. Douglas slides back into the ring and the Faithful continue to cheer him on as he goes for one more…

DDK:
Suicide Dive Number two! He’s got Cortez reeling, but he is STILL on his feet!

Angus:
Because he’s the world’s best-dressed unrepentant killer, Keebs, that’s why!

After recovering from his second dive, he heads to the ring apron and quickly starts to ascend the buckles. He looks out to the fans quickly as The Titan of Industry is still stumbling…

DDK:
TOP ROPE MOONSAULT TO THE FLOOR! DOUGLAS FINALLY TAKES CORTEZ DOWN!

Angus:
Now he’s The World’s Best-Dressed Floor Mat!

DDK:
If Scott Douglas has a chance to make it up top, this is it!

SUB POP SCOTT!
SUB POP SCOTT!
SUB POP SCOTT!

With the entire Ace in the Hole field now down for the proverbial count, he slides another ladder back into the ring and now Sub Pop starts to set it up. When he starts to finally climb up the ladder…

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

DDK:
Hey! What? What the hell is Junior Keeling doing?

The Family Keeling’s younger half tries to grab onto the leg of Scott Douglas to try and keep DEFIANCE’s Favorite Son from getting up the ladder.

Junior Keeling:
Hey! Hey! Hey! Stop! That’s not your…

Douglas gets pulled off the ladder from halfway up, but lands on his feet…

DDK:
WOW! Douglas just POPPED Junior Keeling with that right hand! He’s down!

Junior crumbles like a scrap of paper and Douglas kicks him out of the ring, but when he turns…

DDK:
NO! NOW FLEX KRUGER GETTING INVOLVED!

The heavy for The D CRASHES into Douglas with a massive Shoulder Tackle that launches him into the corner! As the crowd jeers the hell out of the former BRAZEN Champion, he motions and waves for a beaten and battered D to get back into the ring.

Angus:
Aww, shit, The D can win!

DDK:
He can! And Flex is gonna help him!

When The D is still slow to move, The D motions for Flex to hoist him on his shoulders, so he does just that. Once Flex has The D on his shoulders, the Faithful jeer the hell out of the duo as Flex slowly helps him up the ladder.

DDK:
Uh-oh…

But as Flex manages to get The D about halfway up, Klein has not only returned to the ring… but he also SLUGS Flex in the back and THROWS him out of the ring completely! The D looks down and now sees his erstwhile partner now start to climb the other side, forcing him to hurry the hell up and try to get to the top…

DDK:
The D is trying to get to that title belt! But Klein isn’t that far behind him on the other side!

The crowd voices their support for Klein as he meets The D towards the top of the ladder. The D throws a couple of rights, but Klein comes back and lays into him with a big Clubbing Forearm to knock him senseless…

DDK:
Uh-oh, what’s Klein doing now? He’s… he’s got The D on his shoulders…

The crowd is going CRAZY as Uriel Cortez now steps over the ropes, pops the bones in his neck and GRABS Klein by the legs just in time for…

Angus:
HOLY SHIT!

DDK:
Uriel Cortez, the Industry Standard … just powerbombed Klein while holding The D aloft his shoulders!

Angus:
Always took Klein as more of a Box Man … didn’t think he’d be so into holding The D.

Klein and The D both writhe in pain, after less than graceful landings, as Uriel admires the damages he has brought forth.

DDK:
With such destruction in the ring, you still manage to make childish jokes!?

Angus:
Aww, Keebs. Thanks for noticing!

On the outside, the slinking an opportunistic Texan finds himself face to face with Scott Douglas and the pair have some unresolved issues. The stare down goes chest to chest and then nose to nose as the pair trade extremely heated words. Jack Harmon, recovered on the outside himself sees the pair and obviously has some issue with Scott Douglas circumventing his chance to take this whole thing home. Inside the ring, Uriel Cortez notices The Wild Card heading toward the pair of Scotts. He as well has a score to settle with Jack.

Angus:
No, No! What are you doing you HOSS SIZED DUMBASS! Get that tiny ladder, use the bottom rung, GRRRAB the belt! … then go crack that Lunatic’s skull!

DDK:
I’d have to agree, Angus!

Angus:
Don’t do that, it’s weird … and I don't like it.

DDK:
Well, I think you are correct! At least in that, Uriel Cortez has the opportunity to win this won right here, right now! Victory really ought to be paramount over vendetta!

The Family Keeling seems to agree as they scream from ringside but the big bull of a man has seen red. Harmon is red in this analogy.

The D and Klein begin to show some signs of life in the ring as Uriel exits it. He catches Harmen and swings him around by the shoulder before he makes it to the Douglas/Stevens pairing. Harmen doesn’t hesitate and swings instantly. Uriel returns fire. Stevens swings on Douglas. Douglas swings on Stevens.

DDK:
We’ve got a knockdown drag-out fight at ringside!

In the ring, The D has painstakingly pulled himself to his feet by the ropes and found respite against the turnbuckle as he notices the ladder sitting perfectly positioned in the middle of the ring. This time it’s of proper height.

Angus:
I don’t like that look in his eyes!

DDK:
What look!?

Angus:
HOPE!

While all hell continues to break loose at ringside, Douglas squared off with Stevens, Harmen with Cortez, the Family Keeling screaming and yelling in stereo and Flex Kruger leading The D Cheer squad… The D staggers slowly toward the ladder.

Angus:
For all that is holy … or unholy … I’ll go either way!

Almost as God himself or The Devil has answered Angus’ first attempt at praying in quite some time; Klein suddenly comes to life.

Angus:
YES! BOXMAN! YES! I have faith!

The D is now on the ladder but only the first rung as Klein grabs him from behind. The D’s face lights’ up like The O Face … well probably never has, but he is certainly terrified. He thought he had this all wrapped up as the chaos ensued around him but he forgot to think outside of The Box.

DDK:
Klein in full control! He has a real chance here! The underdog story come to life here in DEFIANCE!

Darren is correct as Klein pulls The D down from his one step toward glory and readjusts his grip, grasping The D …

DDK:
He’s got The D by the neck …

Angus:
I believe you mean SHAFT!

The D, with both hands up, begging off Klein and the wrath he is seemingly ready to bring down.

DDK:
You …

Before Darren can admonish Angus for being the nitwitted child that he is, his thought in interrupted by Flex Kruger hopping the apron and attempting to break this up.

DDK:
Flex Kruger, once again … aborting justice in this first ever ACE in the Hole match!

Angus:
Well if ANYONE knows about abortions, it’s that chick right there!

The Faithful pop in surprise as Elise Ares rushes down the ramp and snatches Flex Kruger down from the apron.

DDK:
That’s Elise ARES! The longest reigning Southern Heritage Champion in DEFIANCE … who has a title DEFENSE against Gage Blackwood later TONIGHT!

Elise keeps Flex from having much more impact than he has already had tonight but her appearance certainly catches Klein's eye. Now on the floor, amidst the chaos of Jack, Uriel, Scott, and Scott, Flex takes a swing at Elise, causing Klein to let loose of The D.

The D drops to his knees.

Elise ducks Flex’s heavily telegraphed attempt and pops back up to slap Kruger across the face before taking the former BRAZEN champion by the ear.

Angus:
See I knew all Mexicans were catholic.

DDK:
What!?

Angus:
That’s a real GORRAM NUN move if I’ve ever seen one.

DDK:
Catholicism is staunchly against abortion… so your new ”joke flies directly in the face of your last ”joke.”

Angus:
Well, Keebs … Comedy much like Religion is very subjective.

DDK:
Wait, wha -- No! LOW BLOW! LOW BLOW!

Angus:
Also, very catholic.

Angus’ nonsense aside, The D from his knee throws a stiff forearm into the crouch of the distracted Klein. Elise, however, does not notice as she is a good twist and half deep on Flex’s ear and he ushers him toward the ramp way past the screaming and tantrum throwing Keelings.

DDK:
This is egregious!

The D pulls himself back to his feet and with relative ease, dumps the freshly crotched big man over the top rope and down to the floor. Klein nearly clips Harmen and Cortez on his way down, but the pair simply lean back and continue clashing over top the big former box man.

Angus:
ONE OF YOU IDIOTS GET IN THERE! GET IN THERE! STOP HIM!

The D now finds himself alone in the ring with the ladder … right where it needs to be. He can hardly believe it himself and jerks his head around all sides of the ring to verify. He is nearly too taken aback by his almost assured victory that he doesn’t know what to do with himself, or the ladder, or the belt, or his forthcoming title shot.

On the outside, Jack Harmen and Uriel Cortez’s brawl spills into Stevens and Douglas’ … In the four man melee, Uriel frustrated with the prolonged back and forth decides to put and end to this once and for all. The Titan of Industry launches at The Wildcard just as Scott Stevens pushes Scott Douglas toward Harmen …

DDK:
OH MY!

The giant Cortez spears Douglas AND Harmen through the time keepers table and into the barricade. The table flips and collapses as the bell is cast aside and gives off a low resonating version of its normal DING. The aftermath shows Scott Stevens nowhere to be seen as the three man car crash lay there in a heap of wreckage and pool of potentially multiple donors.

DDK:
The D is on his way up!

BOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

Angus:
I’ve never hated such a great joke before now but I have to say … BONER!

DDK:
Laugh now, Angus … I think you’re first official winner of the ACE in the HOLE, the inaugural ACE of DEFIANCE may, in fact, be The D!

The Faithful’s boo’s suddenly become a mix of cheers, confusions and well still alot of boo’s.

Angus:
Don’t you blaspheme! Don’t you BLASPHEME IN HERE!

DDK:
What is this now!? This hooded figure!?

This hooded person hops the guardrail and slides in the ring. The D, taking his time and making a spectacle out of his ascent, doesn’t notice the mystery man.

Angus:
...hooded figure?! It’s a guy in a grey hoodie, Keebs! Matter of fact, I'm pretty sure it’s ...

The “figure” snatches his hood down as he turns his back to The D, the Faithful become unhinged with the reveal.

DDK:
KERRY KUROYAMA! KERRY KUROYAMA!

Kerry glances back at The D show boating mid ladder, gages the range …

DDK:
Springboard off of the middle rope!

Mid-air, the newly returned and possibly still suspended Kerry graps The D by the neck, crashing down in a brutal …

DDK:
Neckbrecker! Kerry Kuroyama just took out The D!

Angus:
Pull Out is the BEST method, Keebs!

The ladder teeters in the center of the ring as the two’s collision rocks the ring. Kerry springs up as The D rolls, hopefully, out of harm's way toward the opposite corner.

The Faithful can not believe that Kerry has returned nor that he has thwarted The D’s highly potential victory. In all the chaos, one person has been forgotten.

Ringside, Scott Stevens’ peers up from the apron and once again … sees an opportunity.

Angus:
Hold on! What the …

DDK:
Scott Stevens … who steered clear of that train wreck moments ago.

Stevens slinks into the ring like a snake to the ledge before ascending a tree.

Angus:
Steered clear? MANUFACTURED! This opportunistic little gorram … … uh, turd!

The Faithful take notice and who they previously forgot now becomes the center of their extremely negative attention. Kerry’s return and hero’s welcome, dissipated in an instant.

DDK:
You’ve been flabbergasted beyond actual profanity, Angus. If that does not tell the tale of this match, I don’t know what will.

Their hopes dashed. Douglas, layed out. Harmen, layed out.

Angus:
Your mother will!

Both by Cortez, himself … non responsive atop his own wreckage.

DDK:
And Angus is back folks!

Even the Keelings have piped down and stand back quietly taking in what could happen.

Kerry Kuroyama turns to see Scott Stevens across from him, only the twelve-foot A-frame between them. The slinking Stevens also sees Kerry and stops in his tracks… The tension builds as the pair stare at one another. Who will make the first move …

DDK:
Kerry Kuroyama, robbed of his opportunity to BE in this match by The D … now standing meer feet away from the man who took his place.

Angus:
Man is a strong term, Keebs! KNOCK him out, K-CUPS!

The stare-off continues. Scott Stevens frozen, one foot nearly up as if he thought stillness would directly be related to visible … ness.

Angus:
Don’t just stand there! Do six flips into a dropkick that launches that ladder into Steven’s Texas sized stupid head!!

Kerry looks around the Faithful, who’s boo’s for Stevens slowly turn into a chant for him.

K-Cups! K-Cups! K-Cups!

But when the tension is at it’s fever pitch … Kerry waves his hand as if to grant passage to Scott Stevens before leaning back on the top rope, flipping - although not six times - and landing on the floor. His hand resting on the apron and he and the rest of the Faithful watch their least favorite Texan climb the ladder.

The short-lived chant turn back to boo’s … More of the Faithful are watch Kuroyama and wondering what the hell he is thinking as Stevens stomps rung by rung to the top. Even the Family Keeling have glaringly suspicious eyes for Kuroyama.

DDK:
This one is all but finished folks … Not the way ANY of us wanted to see this end.

Angus:
I saw The D so close to capturing the title and I thought to myself … Ok, Angus old boy, it is always darkest before The D. BUT WHAT IN THE GORRAM FUCK AM I SEEING!?!

Kerry starts to back up the rampway as Scott Stevens balances himself on the last run before the top.

Angus:
That's AN OSHA VIOLATION! DQ!

Stevens reaches up and takes hold of the brand new ACE of DEFIANCE belt … with a bit of resistance, unlatches the snaps and pulls the title down.

DING DING DING

The belt dangles from his right hand as he braces himself with the left, readjusting his body on before sitting down on the top of the ladder.

Darren Quimbey:
Your winner … AND FIRRRST ACE in the HOLE … Scottttttttt STTTTTTTEEEEEVVVEEEEENNNNNSSSSS!!!

Perched atop the ladder with the smuggest of all grins to have ever been grinned, Scott Stevens soaks in the anti-adulation of the Faithful with the ACE of DEFIANCE slung over his shoulder.

DDK:
I really don’t know what to make of this partner!

The boo’s are deafening as sodas, beers and nearly anything else begin to come hurling at Scott Stevens, perched high on his bridge to victory.

Angus:
Oh you don’t? You had a HOSS led around by two shit stains ... two shit stains … and greasy failed band leader and Hertz Plus member. Odds were a shit stain or shit stain adjacent was going to take this! I just didn’t think a COFFEE SHIT STAIN would have been both the HOPE and the downfall of what SEEMED LIKE A GOOD IDEA!

DDK:
Ladies and gentlemen, no matter the result this was a HELL of a match up between some truly die hard competitors …

Angus:
I wish a few of them would DIE HARD all right …

DDK:
But we have much more action to come tonight and I think we may need to get Scott Douglas, Jack Harmen and …

Angus:
Like come out to the Coast, we’ll get together, have a few laughs - Die Hard!

DDK:
… Uriel Cortez some medical attention while we …

Angus:
Tossed of Nakatomi Tower, DIE HARD! Hans Gruber - in the movie and in real life - DIE HARD!

DDK:
ANGUS!

Angus:
What too soon? Spoilers? I don’t even know which lines I’m crossing anymore.