Post by Jman2k3 on May 9, 2019 12:46:27 GMT
May 6, 2019
Joe Hoffman: It’s time for our main event ladies and gentlemen! We’ve got the battle royal where the winner will be crowned the NEW ICON Champion!
Benny Newell: Everyone in this match is gonna die. Period.
Joe Hoffman: How will that even be possible?!
Benny Newell: Easy you fuck stick! Kostoff kills everybody and then buries himself because there’s nothing Kostoff HASN’T done in HOW.
The bell rings as all nine competitors are in the ring. They instantly descend upon the other but before they do anything, they automatically stop and they all turn to Kostoff. Kostoff doesn’t seem to be fazed by this, nor did the element of surprise because Kostoff knew he would be targeted out of the get go.
Kostoff gestures his hand as he tells the others to bring it. They are casuist at first until they start hammering away at Kostoff. Meanwhile, Doozer is just casually hanging back in the corner watching this all go down while being in a wheel chair closest to the far turnbuckle. However, just like Doozer, Farthington smiles as he quietly but smoothly rolls out of the ring and under the ropes. Not even Doozer saw him and he’s the one who’s the safest distance.
Joe Hoffman: Looks like a sound strategy for Doozer.
Benny Newell: More like Snoozer as he makes me yawn. That handicapped fuck has no reason to be in this match! However, there is a man with a much BETTER strategy and that is Farthington’s! That’s a good strategy everyone should adopt by sliding in the ring until the very end! Why has no one else tried that in HOW?!
Meanwhile, back in the ring, Kostoff continues to be mauled before he suddenly lets out a loud roar and stands as he pushes his arms outward, sending everyone flying to different parts of the ring. Kostoff walks over and picks up Stevens. He tosses him towards the ropes and runs at Stevens cleaning him up with a charging clothesline. Stevens drops to the ground hard as Kostoff looks at the carnage in the ring.
Joe Hoffman: Kostoff putting on a show here tonight! That loss to Brian Hollywood after taking down Darkwing Duck is definitely showing that frustration within Kostoff.
Benny Newell: You know Kostoff, if he’s in a bad mood, it’s going to show and right now it’s showing. Kostoff is one pissed off motherfucker!
Joe Hoffman: I feel sorry for everyone in that ring right now.
Benny Newell: I don’t fuck em all! Well…maybe not Kostofff…cause you know, I do enjoy living.
Kostoff continues his dominance as Bobbinette slides out of the ring. She quickly finds a steel chair and rolls back into the ring with it. Mamba gets involved and goes on the attack of Bobbinette and strikes her in the back. Bobbinette doesn’t appear to look impressed. Instead, Bobbinette turns around and hits mamba with a swift right handed strike to the jaw of Mamba. Mamba stumbles backwards towards the ropes as he holds his jaw while leaning against the ropes to keep him on his feet. Bobbinette charges at him and Mamba can’t react in time as Bobbinette swings the chair as the chair hits Mamba’s head as he is sent flying over the top rope and eliminated!
MAMBA HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!!!-VIA BOBBINETTE CAREY
Joe Hoffman: Bobbinette wasting no time in scoring eliminations!
Benny Newell: Now that’s what I’m talking about! Beautiful elimination by the Queen B!
Bobbinette, however, has forgotten about Kostoff still being in the ring. Kostoff charges towards Bobbinette. As Bobbinette turns back around, she is met with a running shoulder block from Kostoff. Kostoff begins striking her repeatedly with closed right fists for a few moments before picking Carey back up and sending her crashing back down with a DDT. Kostoff picks up Carey and attempts to throw her over the top rope to eliminate her. Carey gets thrown over the ropes, but hangs on and stays alive. As Kostoff is trying to remove Carey finger by finger, Flo interrupts and strikes Kostoff in the back with a running front dropkick. Carey is able to recompose herself as she gets back in the ring.
Carey and Florence meet in the middle of the ring and look each other in the eyes. They tease a confrontation but it is a short incident as Doozer, who got bored waiting in the corner turnbuckle, wheels his way in his wheelchair into the leg of Florence while Kostoff nails Carey at the same time with a charging clothesline. Kostoff picks up Carey and delivers the No Remorse finisher on her. Kostoff grabs Carey and launches her over the top rope and this time, Carey couldn’t hang on, nor grab the top rope as she hits the ground hard and thus ends her eyes on the ICON Championship.
BOBBINETTE CAREY HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!!!-VIA KOSTOFF
Joe Hoffman: And that does it for Bobbinette Carey!! Man I thought she was going to win this thing Benny!
Benny Newell: At least we can sleep better at night knowing that she got eliminated by a fellow Hall of Famer! No shame in that!
Kostoff smiles as Carey walks to the back. All of a sudden, Kostoff finds himself being lifted up in the air as he can’t grip the ropes to hold on as Scott Stevens lifts Kostoff up and pushes him over the top rope as Kostoff hits the ground.
CHRIS KOSTOFF HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!!!-VIA SCOTT STEVENS
Joe Hoffman: HOLY SHIT!!! Stevens eliminates Kostoff!! I did not see that one coming!!
Benny Newell: Motherfucker of Jesus!!…that’s no way of treating a Hall of Famer!! That fucking Lonesome Loser just needs to stop trying to gain anyone’s attention! That was cheap…but then again we’re talking about Stevens here!
Stevens is now the one who smiles and waves as Kostoff gets back to his feet and just stares COLDLY at Stevens before Kostoff yells something back at him.
Meanwhile, while Stevens shits his pants, yes seriously, he tries to shake off Kostoff’s words and turns around only to get met with an uppercut from Odell. Jiles finally sneaks around the ring, whose been mysteriously absent most of this match, and rolls into the ring. Jiles tries to sneak up behind Flo, but is unsuccessful as Flo turns around and lays a nice slap to the face of Jiles. Jiles shakes it off and smiles as Flo looks on in a what the fuck kind of way. Jiles drops down and delivers a low blow to Flo which causes Flo to drop down midway to the mat as she struggles to catch her breath.
Joe Hoffman: And there it is folks…the blow that was heard around the world.
Benny Newell: I should sue the fuck out of that motherfucker! I put a lot of investments into our HOW women!
Joe Hoffman: Well, unfortunately, this battle royal is anything goes and the referees can’t do anything about that Benny.
Benny Newell: Fucking sue me Hoffhole!
Jiles sets up for his finishing move looking to finish off Florence as she still struggles to stand completely up. Jiles moves in for the kill as he goes for the Terminal COOL superkick but Flo catches his foot!! Flo holds onto Jiles foot as Jiles now struggles to maintain his balance. Flo smiles as it looks like she’s got something in mind for Jiles as Jiles starts to figure it out. However he can’t do anything as Flo has his foot. As she holds onto his foot at the same time, Flo returns the favor and delivers a shot to the nut sack of Jiles as that shot, not only cringeworthy, but heard around the world. As Jiles struggles to balance on one foot, and hopping around unbalanced, he seemingly shakes his head as he knows where he’s going. Flo doesn’t give a fuck though as she shoves Jiles against the ropes and delivers the Red Flag which sends Jiles over the top rope and to the outside!
COOL JILES HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!!!-VIA FLORENCE KEARSEY.
Joe Hoffman: And there goes Jiles! Flo was able to get back into this match with a strong finish of Jiles!
Benny Newell: Your damn right for once Hoff. Don’t piss off a woman because they don’t give a fuck about the rules!
Stevens and Odell are still fighting on the outside but meanwhile inside the ring, Flo is looking on and contemplating breaking up the party but decides to just wait. That was a bad move, though, as she turns around and sees that Doozer is still in the ring. All alone in the ring, in his wheelchair.
Joe Hoffman: Oh boy…are you thinking what I’m thinking Benny?
Benny Newell: Oh yes I am and it makes me smile!
Joe Hoffman: You know you are a really really dark individual aren’t you?
Benny Newell: I plea the fifth, Hoffhole.
Flo looks on at doozer as Doozer just sits there before slowly looking up at Flo. Flo smiles before she attempts to grab Doozer but Doozer sends a hard kick to Flo’s right knee. Flo hops back a couple steps as Doozer all of a sudden hops out of his wheelchair. He grabs the wheelchair and starts to charge at Flo. Flo looks up and before she can react, Doozer plows Flo with the wheelchair and sends her over the top rope.
FLORENCE KEARSEY HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!!!-VIA DOOZER
Odell rolls into the ring while Doozer is celebrating his masterful elimination. But the celebration is short lived as Doozer turns around only to be clotheslined out of the ring over the top rope by Odell.
DOOZER HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!!!-VIA ODELL
Joe Hoffman: Holy shit that was intense!! I have a feeling that Doozer has been duping us the entire time.
Benny Newell: Oh come on, man, your easily duped you fuck twat! Only an absolute idiot would have believed Doozer was handicapped or injured!
Stevens gets back to his feet from the outside after his battle with Odell. Odell and Stevens pause as they look at each other seemingly knowing their the last two in the battle royal. None the less the two lock up again in the middle of the ring. Odell and Stevens begin trading blows against the other before Stevens ducks and sends a hard right into the abdomen of Odell. Odell lets out a gasp as Stevens ricochets off the ropes and delivers a superman punch straight to Odell. Odell stumbles backwards against the ropes as Stevens begins to charge at him. Odell blocks the strike and delivers a headbutt into Stevens before pulling down the ropes as Stevens loses his balance and falls over the top rope. However, Stevens saves himself and holds onto the ropes.
Joe Hoffman: Oh my god that was a close call for Stevens! He’s barely hanging on like a thread!
Benny Newell: I hope to god Steven’s loses this match! He doesn’t deserve to be ICON Champion!
Joe Hoffman: Wait a minute….something’s missing here…
Benny Newell: Yea a bottle of Jack you idiot! This one’s already gone! I need another one!
Stevens and Odell continue to play back and forth offense against each other as Odell is looking to hold his stronghold in the ring while Stevens fights for his life on the outside. Stevens misses a connection as Odell dodges before sending thumbs into Stevens eyes. Stevens rests his head over the ropes as he adjusts from the low blow move from Odell. Odell, seeing the opportunity, climbs to the top rope and targets Stevens. He thinks about his finisher but doesn’t end up attempting it for risk the move may backfire against him. Plus the man never goes completely to the top because, well…reasons…Odell finally gains his senses as he dives off the top rope and connects with a high dropkick which connects to Stevens as Stevens loses his grip and falls to the outside!
SCOTT STEVENS HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!!!-VIA ODELL
The two men lock eyes as O’Dell taunts Steven, awaiting the announcement of his victory and the acclaim of being the first ever ICON Champion of the HOW Refueled era. O’Dell almost tears up with memories of Shane Reynolds as Steven continues to jaw at O’Dell from the floor. Matt Boettcher is about to signal for the bell.
This doesn’t quite happen however as unbeknownst to O’Dell, the non-participating OCW Megastar has somehow found himself back in the ring and now appears to be the participating OCW Megastar. With O’Dell still focused on his back and forth with Stevens, he can’t react quickly enough. Cecilworth Farthington rushes towards him and drills a knee in the back, sending O’Dell toppling over the top rope at crashing down in front of Scott Stevens’ feet. Stevens and O’Dell look back at the ring, both clearly, clearly pissed at this development as Senior Official Boettcher signals for the bell.
The crowd is in a stunned confused silence for a moment until an official announcement is made..
“Here is your winner and NEWWWWWWWWWW HIGH OCTANE WRESTLING ICON CHAMPION… He is the OCW Megastar…”
Dirk Dickwood hands a slip of paper over to the announcer.
“AND OCW ICON… Cecilworth… M!… Farthington”
The boos reign down upon the Yeungling Center like Hitler was just rebirthed in front of them and had very strong opinions on the Mueller Report. That is to say there are a lot of angry boos and two very angry HOW wrestlers standing outside the ring. Cecilworth snatches the belt out of the hands of Boettcher and hugs it as tightly as a newborn baby. Stevens and O’Dell rush back into the ring but it’s too late as Cecilworth, his ghost and his new child get the hell out of dodge through the crowd.
Joe Hoffman: It’s time for our main event ladies and gentlemen! We’ve got the battle royal where the winner will be crowned the NEW ICON Champion!
Benny Newell: Everyone in this match is gonna die. Period.
Joe Hoffman: How will that even be possible?!
Benny Newell: Easy you fuck stick! Kostoff kills everybody and then buries himself because there’s nothing Kostoff HASN’T done in HOW.
The bell rings as all nine competitors are in the ring. They instantly descend upon the other but before they do anything, they automatically stop and they all turn to Kostoff. Kostoff doesn’t seem to be fazed by this, nor did the element of surprise because Kostoff knew he would be targeted out of the get go.
Kostoff gestures his hand as he tells the others to bring it. They are casuist at first until they start hammering away at Kostoff. Meanwhile, Doozer is just casually hanging back in the corner watching this all go down while being in a wheel chair closest to the far turnbuckle. However, just like Doozer, Farthington smiles as he quietly but smoothly rolls out of the ring and under the ropes. Not even Doozer saw him and he’s the one who’s the safest distance.
Joe Hoffman: Looks like a sound strategy for Doozer.
Benny Newell: More like Snoozer as he makes me yawn. That handicapped fuck has no reason to be in this match! However, there is a man with a much BETTER strategy and that is Farthington’s! That’s a good strategy everyone should adopt by sliding in the ring until the very end! Why has no one else tried that in HOW?!
Meanwhile, back in the ring, Kostoff continues to be mauled before he suddenly lets out a loud roar and stands as he pushes his arms outward, sending everyone flying to different parts of the ring. Kostoff walks over and picks up Stevens. He tosses him towards the ropes and runs at Stevens cleaning him up with a charging clothesline. Stevens drops to the ground hard as Kostoff looks at the carnage in the ring.
Joe Hoffman: Kostoff putting on a show here tonight! That loss to Brian Hollywood after taking down Darkwing Duck is definitely showing that frustration within Kostoff.
Benny Newell: You know Kostoff, if he’s in a bad mood, it’s going to show and right now it’s showing. Kostoff is one pissed off motherfucker!
Joe Hoffman: I feel sorry for everyone in that ring right now.
Benny Newell: I don’t fuck em all! Well…maybe not Kostofff…cause you know, I do enjoy living.
Kostoff continues his dominance as Bobbinette slides out of the ring. She quickly finds a steel chair and rolls back into the ring with it. Mamba gets involved and goes on the attack of Bobbinette and strikes her in the back. Bobbinette doesn’t appear to look impressed. Instead, Bobbinette turns around and hits mamba with a swift right handed strike to the jaw of Mamba. Mamba stumbles backwards towards the ropes as he holds his jaw while leaning against the ropes to keep him on his feet. Bobbinette charges at him and Mamba can’t react in time as Bobbinette swings the chair as the chair hits Mamba’s head as he is sent flying over the top rope and eliminated!
MAMBA HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!!!-VIA BOBBINETTE CAREY
Joe Hoffman: Bobbinette wasting no time in scoring eliminations!
Benny Newell: Now that’s what I’m talking about! Beautiful elimination by the Queen B!
Bobbinette, however, has forgotten about Kostoff still being in the ring. Kostoff charges towards Bobbinette. As Bobbinette turns back around, she is met with a running shoulder block from Kostoff. Kostoff begins striking her repeatedly with closed right fists for a few moments before picking Carey back up and sending her crashing back down with a DDT. Kostoff picks up Carey and attempts to throw her over the top rope to eliminate her. Carey gets thrown over the ropes, but hangs on and stays alive. As Kostoff is trying to remove Carey finger by finger, Flo interrupts and strikes Kostoff in the back with a running front dropkick. Carey is able to recompose herself as she gets back in the ring.
Carey and Florence meet in the middle of the ring and look each other in the eyes. They tease a confrontation but it is a short incident as Doozer, who got bored waiting in the corner turnbuckle, wheels his way in his wheelchair into the leg of Florence while Kostoff nails Carey at the same time with a charging clothesline. Kostoff picks up Carey and delivers the No Remorse finisher on her. Kostoff grabs Carey and launches her over the top rope and this time, Carey couldn’t hang on, nor grab the top rope as she hits the ground hard and thus ends her eyes on the ICON Championship.
BOBBINETTE CAREY HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!!!-VIA KOSTOFF
Joe Hoffman: And that does it for Bobbinette Carey!! Man I thought she was going to win this thing Benny!
Benny Newell: At least we can sleep better at night knowing that she got eliminated by a fellow Hall of Famer! No shame in that!
Kostoff smiles as Carey walks to the back. All of a sudden, Kostoff finds himself being lifted up in the air as he can’t grip the ropes to hold on as Scott Stevens lifts Kostoff up and pushes him over the top rope as Kostoff hits the ground.
CHRIS KOSTOFF HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!!!-VIA SCOTT STEVENS
Joe Hoffman: HOLY SHIT!!! Stevens eliminates Kostoff!! I did not see that one coming!!
Benny Newell: Motherfucker of Jesus!!…that’s no way of treating a Hall of Famer!! That fucking Lonesome Loser just needs to stop trying to gain anyone’s attention! That was cheap…but then again we’re talking about Stevens here!
Stevens is now the one who smiles and waves as Kostoff gets back to his feet and just stares COLDLY at Stevens before Kostoff yells something back at him.
Meanwhile, while Stevens shits his pants, yes seriously, he tries to shake off Kostoff’s words and turns around only to get met with an uppercut from Odell. Jiles finally sneaks around the ring, whose been mysteriously absent most of this match, and rolls into the ring. Jiles tries to sneak up behind Flo, but is unsuccessful as Flo turns around and lays a nice slap to the face of Jiles. Jiles shakes it off and smiles as Flo looks on in a what the fuck kind of way. Jiles drops down and delivers a low blow to Flo which causes Flo to drop down midway to the mat as she struggles to catch her breath.
Joe Hoffman: And there it is folks…the blow that was heard around the world.
Benny Newell: I should sue the fuck out of that motherfucker! I put a lot of investments into our HOW women!
Joe Hoffman: Well, unfortunately, this battle royal is anything goes and the referees can’t do anything about that Benny.
Benny Newell: Fucking sue me Hoffhole!
Jiles sets up for his finishing move looking to finish off Florence as she still struggles to stand completely up. Jiles moves in for the kill as he goes for the Terminal COOL superkick but Flo catches his foot!! Flo holds onto Jiles foot as Jiles now struggles to maintain his balance. Flo smiles as it looks like she’s got something in mind for Jiles as Jiles starts to figure it out. However he can’t do anything as Flo has his foot. As she holds onto his foot at the same time, Flo returns the favor and delivers a shot to the nut sack of Jiles as that shot, not only cringeworthy, but heard around the world. As Jiles struggles to balance on one foot, and hopping around unbalanced, he seemingly shakes his head as he knows where he’s going. Flo doesn’t give a fuck though as she shoves Jiles against the ropes and delivers the Red Flag which sends Jiles over the top rope and to the outside!
COOL JILES HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!!!-VIA FLORENCE KEARSEY.
Joe Hoffman: And there goes Jiles! Flo was able to get back into this match with a strong finish of Jiles!
Benny Newell: Your damn right for once Hoff. Don’t piss off a woman because they don’t give a fuck about the rules!
Stevens and Odell are still fighting on the outside but meanwhile inside the ring, Flo is looking on and contemplating breaking up the party but decides to just wait. That was a bad move, though, as she turns around and sees that Doozer is still in the ring. All alone in the ring, in his wheelchair.
Joe Hoffman: Oh boy…are you thinking what I’m thinking Benny?
Benny Newell: Oh yes I am and it makes me smile!
Joe Hoffman: You know you are a really really dark individual aren’t you?
Benny Newell: I plea the fifth, Hoffhole.
Flo looks on at doozer as Doozer just sits there before slowly looking up at Flo. Flo smiles before she attempts to grab Doozer but Doozer sends a hard kick to Flo’s right knee. Flo hops back a couple steps as Doozer all of a sudden hops out of his wheelchair. He grabs the wheelchair and starts to charge at Flo. Flo looks up and before she can react, Doozer plows Flo with the wheelchair and sends her over the top rope.
FLORENCE KEARSEY HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!!!-VIA DOOZER
Odell rolls into the ring while Doozer is celebrating his masterful elimination. But the celebration is short lived as Doozer turns around only to be clotheslined out of the ring over the top rope by Odell.
DOOZER HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!!!-VIA ODELL
Joe Hoffman: Holy shit that was intense!! I have a feeling that Doozer has been duping us the entire time.
Benny Newell: Oh come on, man, your easily duped you fuck twat! Only an absolute idiot would have believed Doozer was handicapped or injured!
Stevens gets back to his feet from the outside after his battle with Odell. Odell and Stevens pause as they look at each other seemingly knowing their the last two in the battle royal. None the less the two lock up again in the middle of the ring. Odell and Stevens begin trading blows against the other before Stevens ducks and sends a hard right into the abdomen of Odell. Odell lets out a gasp as Stevens ricochets off the ropes and delivers a superman punch straight to Odell. Odell stumbles backwards against the ropes as Stevens begins to charge at him. Odell blocks the strike and delivers a headbutt into Stevens before pulling down the ropes as Stevens loses his balance and falls over the top rope. However, Stevens saves himself and holds onto the ropes.
Joe Hoffman: Oh my god that was a close call for Stevens! He’s barely hanging on like a thread!
Benny Newell: I hope to god Steven’s loses this match! He doesn’t deserve to be ICON Champion!
Joe Hoffman: Wait a minute….something’s missing here…
Benny Newell: Yea a bottle of Jack you idiot! This one’s already gone! I need another one!
Stevens and Odell continue to play back and forth offense against each other as Odell is looking to hold his stronghold in the ring while Stevens fights for his life on the outside. Stevens misses a connection as Odell dodges before sending thumbs into Stevens eyes. Stevens rests his head over the ropes as he adjusts from the low blow move from Odell. Odell, seeing the opportunity, climbs to the top rope and targets Stevens. He thinks about his finisher but doesn’t end up attempting it for risk the move may backfire against him. Plus the man never goes completely to the top because, well…reasons…Odell finally gains his senses as he dives off the top rope and connects with a high dropkick which connects to Stevens as Stevens loses his grip and falls to the outside!
SCOTT STEVENS HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!!!-VIA ODELL
The two men lock eyes as O’Dell taunts Steven, awaiting the announcement of his victory and the acclaim of being the first ever ICON Champion of the HOW Refueled era. O’Dell almost tears up with memories of Shane Reynolds as Steven continues to jaw at O’Dell from the floor. Matt Boettcher is about to signal for the bell.
This doesn’t quite happen however as unbeknownst to O’Dell, the non-participating OCW Megastar has somehow found himself back in the ring and now appears to be the participating OCW Megastar. With O’Dell still focused on his back and forth with Stevens, he can’t react quickly enough. Cecilworth Farthington rushes towards him and drills a knee in the back, sending O’Dell toppling over the top rope at crashing down in front of Scott Stevens’ feet. Stevens and O’Dell look back at the ring, both clearly, clearly pissed at this development as Senior Official Boettcher signals for the bell.
The crowd is in a stunned confused silence for a moment until an official announcement is made..
“Here is your winner and NEWWWWWWWWWW HIGH OCTANE WRESTLING ICON CHAMPION… He is the OCW Megastar…”
Dirk Dickwood hands a slip of paper over to the announcer.
“AND OCW ICON… Cecilworth… M!… Farthington”
The boos reign down upon the Yeungling Center like Hitler was just rebirthed in front of them and had very strong opinions on the Mueller Report. That is to say there are a lot of angry boos and two very angry HOW wrestlers standing outside the ring. Cecilworth snatches the belt out of the hands of Boettcher and hugs it as tightly as a newborn baby. Stevens and O’Dell rush back into the ring but it’s too late as Cecilworth, his ghost and his new child get the hell out of dodge through the crowd.