Post by Jman2k3 on Jul 9, 2018 21:48:27 GMT
Joe Hoffman: Welcome back ladies and gentlemen as we dive into our first match of the evening with a battle of two former LSD champions, Ryan McKenna and Ray McAvay.
Benny Newell: Titties!
The lights fade to dark blue in the arena as “The Gauntlet” by Simon Viklund starts. A few bars after the music kicks in, Ryan emerges from the curtain and paces back and forth on the stage, keeping his eyes focused on the ring.
Joe Hoffman: McKenna has been a man on a mission as of late trying to do everything and anything to get Scott Stevens in the ring.
Benny Newell: As much as I hate that fucking inbred hick he does have a point when he told McKenna he needs to start building victories. The Caesar wants to be entertained Hoffman, and there’s nothing entertaining about a person who hasn’t won a match lately.
Bryan McVay: Introducing first, hailing from Glasgow, Scotland, and weighing in at two hundred eight pounds, he is.….RYAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNN MCKENNAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!
After a few paces, he breaks into a run down to the ring and slides under the bottom rope, quickly getting back onto his feet and almost running up the far turnbuckle to beat his chest and raise his fists to the crowd. After an appropriate amount of time, he turns and drops down, crouching at the turnbuckle in wait on his opponent.
Joe Hoffman: McKenna looks primed and ready for McAvay here tonight.
Benny Newell: He better be Hoffman if he wants to impress Mario enough to get the cousin fucker into the ring.
As his music fades, “Down Again” by Charlie Robison begins to play throughout the arena as the tune brings out the entourage of “Tin Cup” Ray McAvay.
Bryan McVay: And his opponent, weighing in at 190lbs, he hails from Salome, TX, He is “Tin Cup“ RAY! MCAVAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ray McAvay walks out onto the stage and he’s followed closely by his valets Dark and Stormy. They pose on the stage and point to the lettering on their t-shirts which read: ‘Show Up. Punch In.’ on the front. Then they turn around and show the phrase ‘Shut Up. Get to Work’ on the back.
Benny Newell: They even brought the barbeque sauce again! Fuck yeah!
McAvay and company begin marching to the ring and bringing up the end is McAvay’s trainer and manager ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido with the familiar Big Bertha Driver in his hands.
Joe Hoffman: McAvay lost a heartbreaker last week when he lost his LSD championship to Max Kael in their hellacious ladder match.
Benny Newell: Fuck the title Hoffman, I got to lick tits!
The entourage of slowly makes their way around the ring as Ray climbs up the ring steps and gets into the ring. Ray begins to stretch out on the ropes as he awaits the bell.
Joe Hoffman: McAvay has been critical as of late when it comes to the term pro wrestling and sports entertainment and which is better.
Benny Newell: I gotta say I‘m more of a sports entertainment fan.
Joe Hoffman: Why’s that?
Benny Newell: Because who wasn’t entertained when I was licking barbeque sauce off of two gorgeous women?
Hortega checks both men before signaling for the bell.
Ding. Ding.
Joe Hoffman: And we are underway.
McKenna and McAvay begin to circle one another in the center of the ring. McAvay goes to lock up but McKenna moves out of the way.
The two begin to circle each other once again and this time it’s McKenna who tries something as he shoots in low but the Texan sidesteps out of the way.
Joe Hoffman: Each of these two men know what a win means to them and they are feeling each other out.
Benny Newell: You call the action in the ring Hoffman while I call the ass shaking action of Dark and Stormy on the outside of the ring.
As McKenna gets back up to his feet the to go to lock up, but the a familiar entrance theme stops them in their tracks.
Benny Newell: What the fuck is he doing out here?
Joe Hoffman: How the heck am I suppose to know?
Benny Newell: You’re the man whose suppose to know everything aren’t you?!?!?!?
Scott Stevens appears on the stage and the boos reign down on the most hated man in the House of Maurako.
Stevens slowly makes his way down towards the ring and is clapping wildly and cheering on McKenna emphatically.
McKenna leans over the ropes and stares daggers through Stevens as his former tag partner is cheering him on as he makes his way around the ring and Stevens makes his way towards the commentary booth.
With McKenna distracted, Tin Cup seizes the opportunity with school boy.
Hortega drops to the mat and counts.
Uno.
Dos.
Kickout.
Joe Hoffman: The distraction by Stevens almost cost him the match.
Benny Newell: And now that fuck is on his way…….Hey how you doing Stevens?
Benny’s tune changes as Stevens puts on a headset and takes a seat next to him.
Scott Stevens: I’m doing well actually Benny. I came down to watch a great match up and I brought you this as well.
Stevens hands Benny a bottle of Jack and the Indy Legend quickly grabs it from the Texan’s grasp.
Inside the ring, McAvay has grounded the Scotsman as he has him in a reverse chin lock.
Hortega asks the Scotsman if he wants to quit but McKenna tells him no. McKenna remembering the damage done to McAvay’s face as he begins to claw away at the damaged area. McAvay tries to shake McKenna’s hands away, but the Scot is able to grab a hold of Tin Cup’s face and push his thumbs into the healing cheeks of McAvay. The Texan yells out and tries hold muscle through the pain, but McKenna digs a little deeper and the pain becomes too much for Ray to bear and he has no choice but to release the hold.
Joe Hoffman: McAvay still feeling the effects of the ladder match last week.
Benny Newell: That’s the whole point of being the LSD champion Hoffman, you have to be able to handle what ever pain is thrust upon you.
McKenna goes low as he takes Ray’s feet out from under him with a quick sweep. McKenna stomps away on the downed Texan before jumping up and placing a knee onto the face of McAvay.
Joe Hoffman: McKenna focus of the attack is the face of Tin Cup.
Scott Stevens: Which is smart because it’s still vulnerable from the ladder match. That kind of brutality he suffered against Max doesn’t heal in a week.
Benny Newell: Yeah Hoffhole! Listen to the man!
McKenna rolls through and hits the ropes as he gets to his feet and jumps back first onto the chest of McAvay.
McKenna immediately turns and hooks a leg and yells for Hortega to count.
Hortega slides into position.
Uno.
Dos.
Shoulder up.
McKenna immediately bars the arm and in the process gazes towards Stevens.
Joe Hoffman: McKenna staring hard at Stevens as he has McAvay in an arm bar.
Scott Stevens: McKenna can stare all he wants but it won’t do any good.
Joe Hoffman: Why’s that?
Scott Stevens: The I am above McKenna.
McKenna continues to work over the arm of McAvay as he drives knee after knee into it before pointing towards Stevens and delivers another knee into the arm of Tin Cup.
Joe Hoffman: That’s a pretty lofty statement coming from you.
Scott Stevens: I understand and appreciate the fire that he has about wanting to put on a performance of a lifetime and use my name to catipault himself to the next level but he’s had how many opportunities to do that? Eleven? Twelve?
McKenna brings McAvay to his feet and begins to drive his shoulder into Ray’s and keeps doing this as McKenna pushes the Texan to the nearest corner. McKenna takes Ray down with an arm bar takedown and as he gets up he goes over to the ropes and stares at Stevens.
Joe Hoffman: McKenna keeps looking over at you hoping he’s got your attention.
Scott Stevens: He can keep looking over here all he wants but he isn’t going to get me in that ring. I have two goals left to achieve in this company and the only one I can control is the world championship. Mario wants entertaining matches, and McKenna vs. Stevens doesn’t put asses in seats, but Stevens vs. Jace Parker Davidson does. If I get into that ring with McKenna he could end up paralyzed or worse. I’m doing him a fucking favor.
McKenna builds himself a head of steam and begins to bounce of the bottom rope then the middle and the top as he proceeds to do a backwards somersault.
McKenna doubles over holding his stomach because McAvay was able to get his knees up in time to counter the moonsault.
Joe Hoffman: McAvay with a great counter.
Scott Stevens: See, McKenna’s so worried about me that he should’ve been more worried about McAvay being out to attempt that move.
Ray seeing an opening grabs McKenna by the neck…Neckbreaker! Ray again grabs him by the back of the neck…Running Bulldog!
Joe Hoffman: Tin Cup with the Shaken and Stirred.
McAvay quickly goes for a cover.
Uno.
Dos.
Tres.
NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
McKenna gets the shoulder up.
Tin Cup holds up three fingers towards the referee but Hortega says it was only a count of dos.
Tin Cup looks over to his manager and taps his nose twice.
Joe Hoffman: McKenna looks to be in dire straits here.
Scott Stevens: Usually after that combination of moves it’s Caddyshack time.
Benny Newell: THE TWO OF YOU NEED TO SHUTTHE FUCK UP CAUSE IT’S TITTY TIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIME!!!!!!!!!
Dark and Stormy crawl onto the ring apron and begin to remove their tops. Hortega sees the breasts begin to protrude under the bottom of the short cut tops and sprints over to the girls with his hand in his pants trying to either pull out his cock or a wad of pesos to tip the girls with.
Benny Newell: This beaner and his God damn pesos. Fucking drink.
Dark reaches behind her and produces the infamous JR’s BBQ sauce and holds it high into the air and begins to pour it over her and Stormy’s chest.
Benny Newell: I’m getting hungry.
While McAvay’s “friends” have the referee distracted, Chris tosses in the Callaway.
Tin Cup catches the club and gives Chris a thumbs up for doing a good job.
Joe Hoffman: McAvay looking to Tee Off on McKenna here.
Unbeknownst to McAvay, McKenna is back to his feet and drills Ray in his face with a standing dropkick that sends the Texan to the canvas.
McKenna picks up the club and breaks it over his knee and tosses it out of the ring and goes for a cover, but sees Hortega is still mesmerized by Dark and Stormy.
McKenna hits the ropes and sends McAvay’s valets to the floor.
Benny Newell: That fucking faggot! I knew all Scottish people were fucking flamers by wearing dresses and shit all the time.
Joe Hoffman: Maybe it was an accident.
Benny Newell: Accident my ass, I’m going over to see if they need help.
McKenna grabs Hortega and yells for him to count as he covers McAvay.
Uno.
Dos.
Shoulder up.
McKenna gets to his feet and slams his fist down on the mat waiting for Ray to get up.
Scott Stevens: Is Benny licking the barbeque sauce off the ladies?
Joe Hoffman: He said he was going to help them and that’s his way of helping them I guess.
Scott Stevens: More like helping himself is more like it.
As McAvay slowly makes his way back up to his feet. As soon as he turns around, McKenna throws himself forward with a haymaker coming towards the Texan.
Joe Hoffman: Oh my! McAvay barely gets out of the way of McKenna’s Combo Breaker.
McAvay takes advantage of the missed Superman punch and drills McKenna with a belly to back suplex.
McAvay looks towards his manager, Chris Escondido, for the Big Bertha Driver, but his manager shows him that the club has been broken leading Tin Cup to improvise.
McAvay grabs McKenna and places him between his legs.
Scott Stevens: He’s not going for what I think he’s going for is he Hoffman?
Joe Hoffman: He may………
Tin Cup lifts McKenna up and spins towards the center of the ring and delivers a massive sit-out power bomb.
Joe Hoffman: MCGILL-BOMB! MCGILL-BOMB! HOLY HECK THAT’S GOT TO BE IT!
Hortega checks the shoulders before he begins his cadence.
Uno.
Dos.
Tres.
NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
McKenna is able to kickout and McAvay can’t believe it.
Scott Stevens: Holy shit! I thought Ray had him there.
Joe Hoffman: I think everyone did.
McAvay looks towards Escondido who motions that’s it time to put McKenna to sleep.
McAvay uses all his power to lift a lifeless McKenna to his feet and shove him chest first into the nearest set of turnbuckles.
As McKenna stumbles backwards out of the corner, Ray grabs McKenna by his mane and locks in the dragon sleeper.
Joe Hoffman: McKenna’s trying to fight free.
Scott Stevens: If he can climb the ropes he may have a shot at an escape.
McAvay sensing the Scotsman trying to inch towards the ropes slings him backwards with a reverse suplex.
He lets go long enough to better position himself as he locks in the hold. McKenna continues to fight but the Texan turns him away from any lifelines and locks his legs around McKenna’s body and the young man with nowhere to go has no choice but to tap.
Bryan McVay: And your winner by submission…..“Tin Cup“ RAY! MCAVAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Joe Hoffman: McKenna showed tremoudous heart here tonight but McAvay was just too much for the youngster.
Scott Stevens: He’s impressive and talented no doubt, but losses doesn’t get the attention of Mario and that doesn’t get me in the ring.
Stevens leaves the commentary booth and slides into the ring.
Joe Hoffman: Come on Scott he just had a match.
McKenna sees Stevens standing in the ring and backup into the corner.
McAvay sees Stevens as well and gets defensive.
Stevens turns his attention away from McKenna and extends a hand to McAvay. McAvay cautiously accepts it and the two shake.
Scott Stevens: Hell of a job here tonight.
The microphones from the cameras hear Stevens commend Tin Cup on his performance and the crowd cheers as he lifts McAvay’s hand high in victory.
Joe Hoffman: Show of sportsmanship from one Texan to another.
As McAvay and Stevens circles the ring to where they are facing McKenna, Stevens yanks McAvay in and drops him with McKenna’s Scatter Shot finisher.
Joe Hoffman: What the heck is going on!
Stevens covers McAvay and yells at Hortega in Spanish to count.
Hortega refuses but Stevens yanks him down and pulls him to his face.
Scott Stevens: I said fucking count!
Hortega reluctantly counts to tres.
Scott Stevens: Signal the bell and announce me the winner!
Hortega goes over and explains the situation.
The bell sounds and McVay makes the announcement.
Bryan McVay: And your winner by pinfall…..SCOOOOOOOOOTT! STTTTEEEEEEEVVVVVEEEEEENSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Stevens immediately jumps into the air and throws a fist up celebrating. He makes his way over to McKenna.
Scott Stevens: That’s how you fucking win a match! Maybe when you start winning I’ll maybe, just maybe grace you with my presence in this ring, but not until then.
Stevens says with a laugh as he slides out of the ring and heads up the ramp to a chorus of boos
Joe Hoffman: Simply despicable.
Suddenly, the High Octane Vision fires up and Jill Berg’s face appears on the screen as we see Ray slowly making his way to the far ropes to pull himself up after taking McKenna’s finisher from Stevens.
Jill Berg (from the HOV): Hello Ray.
Ray peers at the HOV and just shakes his head.
Jill Berg: Sorry I’m not there in person tonight. But unfortunately, after what happened last week it’s clear that Mr. Maurako hasn’t taken the appropriate steps to make sure special VIP’s like me are properly protected when they visit backstage.
As Ray lays across the bottom rope he is handed a microphone from one of of the HOW crewmen.
Ray McAvay: Well, my daughter isn’t here to punch you in the face tonight so you probably would have been safe.
Jill Berg: Look Ray. If I’m Ryan McKenna, I’m really upset with you. I’m not sure what you were thinking, but I can’t believe you went into business for yourself tonight.
Ray McAvay: What are you talking about?
Jill Berg: Didn’t you read the script? You weren’t supposed to win the match.
Ray McAvay: There’s no script, Jill.
Jill Berg: No, no. All sports entertainment programs have a script.
Jill holds up a script.
Jill Berg: See? Ray, I’m only trying to help you out. You’re not going to impress the big companies if you won’t put over your opponent when it says to do so in the script.
Ray McAvay: Jill. There’s no script and you’re inferring that the outcome of the match was already determined before it the bell even rang. It wasn’t.
Jill Berg: Well of course the outcome was determined. That’s in the script of any pure sports entertainment program.
Ray McAvay: For the last time, the outcome was not determined and there’s no fucking script Jill.
Jill Berg: And you really shouldn’t swear like that either. Proper sports entertainment companies don’t like when you use inappropriate language like that on their shows. It doesn’t portray a positive corporate image.
McAvay holds up his hand, middle finger extended.
Ray McAvay: Here’s what I think of your positive corporate image.
Jill Berg: Now Ray, no need to be hostile. I’m only doing this for your own good. I’ll have my Executive Assistant Jerry bring out tonight’s script to you and you can see for yourself how the match was supposed to go.
Jerry walks out from the back holding a binder containing the ‘script.’ He climbs into the ring and hands McAvay the binder. Ray skims through it and nods.
Ray McAvay: I see.
McAvay thumbs through the pages.
Jill Berg: I’m hoping that you’ll coming to your senses and accept that you’ll always just be someone who puts other people over.
Ray motions to a cameraman.
Ray McAvay: Follow me.
Jill Berg: Ray. Where are you going?
Ray slowly rolls out thru the bottom rope and exits the ring and the cameraman follows him to the back. Along the way, he passes Bert the Janitor who’s cleaning up a mess in the hallway.
Ray McAvay: Hi Bert.
Bert the Janitor: Hello Ray.
McAvay moves on and allows Bert to get back to what he was doing. Ray finds the first men’s room he can find and goes inside. Then he goes inside a stall. The cameraman follows…
Ray McAvay: Hey! Do you mind?
The cameraman then backs out and the stall door closes.
Back at ringside, a confused Jill Berg wonders what’s going on.
Jill Berg: Jerry, what’s happening?
Jerry shrugs.
Jill Berg: Well, while we’re waiting, I’d like to take this opportunity to introduce to High Octane Wrestling a man who really needs no introduction. He is a senior partner at the sports entertainment consulting firm McMann and Rousseau, and the man that whoever is actually running H.O.W. right now needs to listen to. Please give it up for a true sports entertainment genius and someone who can save High Octane Wrestling from itself- Mr. McMann!
McMann’s smug face appears on screen next to Jill. The crowd goes silent.
Mr. McMann: I’d like to thank the esteemed Missouri Valley Champion Jill Berg for that kind introduction. I would like to take this opportunity to remind the management at High Octane Wrestling that the serious problem that they face right now is nothing that a good corporate sports entertainment consultant can’t dive into and fix. For example, this LSD title thing. You know, hardcore wrestling is passé. It’s so 1998. Extreme is simply a brand name now to sell a specific product to a niche audience. No one wants to see flaming ladder matches like that awful match we saw last week or any of that ultra-violent slash dangerous stuff now because it doesn’t sell well to people with the real money to spend. It’s not a product that corporate America will buy.
The crowd boos, jeers, catcalls, and start heaving cups and bottles at the HOV.
Jill Berg: You people are being rude. This man knows more about sports entertainment than you. He’s giving you excellent information about why HOW is failing right now and how his expertise in the world of sports entertainment can save-
Then the sound Ray is relieving himself in the bathroom is heard over the sound system- think the scene from The Naked Gun where Frank Drebin uses the urinal while he has a live microphone on him.
Jill Berg: …fix…High Octane-
Next, the sound of a movement being made. Hint- it’s not the second movement of Tchaikovsky’s 5th Symphony.
Jill Berg: …Wrestling.
Jill gets a disgusted look on her face as the sound of paper being torn out of a binder is heard followed by rustling.
Ray McAvay’s voice: Jill, in case you’re wondering, I’m using your sports entertainment script to wipe my ass.
A rousing cheer comes up from the crowd.
Ray McAvay’s voice: It’s a little bit rough, but otherwise, it’s okay.
The sound of the toilet flushing in the background is clearly heard.
Ray McAvay’s voice: Oh oh. I guess the septic system here doesn’t like your sports entertainment script either…BERT!
Benny Newell: Titties!
The lights fade to dark blue in the arena as “The Gauntlet” by Simon Viklund starts. A few bars after the music kicks in, Ryan emerges from the curtain and paces back and forth on the stage, keeping his eyes focused on the ring.
Joe Hoffman: McKenna has been a man on a mission as of late trying to do everything and anything to get Scott Stevens in the ring.
Benny Newell: As much as I hate that fucking inbred hick he does have a point when he told McKenna he needs to start building victories. The Caesar wants to be entertained Hoffman, and there’s nothing entertaining about a person who hasn’t won a match lately.
Bryan McVay: Introducing first, hailing from Glasgow, Scotland, and weighing in at two hundred eight pounds, he is.….RYAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNN MCKENNAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!
After a few paces, he breaks into a run down to the ring and slides under the bottom rope, quickly getting back onto his feet and almost running up the far turnbuckle to beat his chest and raise his fists to the crowd. After an appropriate amount of time, he turns and drops down, crouching at the turnbuckle in wait on his opponent.
Joe Hoffman: McKenna looks primed and ready for McAvay here tonight.
Benny Newell: He better be Hoffman if he wants to impress Mario enough to get the cousin fucker into the ring.
As his music fades, “Down Again” by Charlie Robison begins to play throughout the arena as the tune brings out the entourage of “Tin Cup” Ray McAvay.
Bryan McVay: And his opponent, weighing in at 190lbs, he hails from Salome, TX, He is “Tin Cup“ RAY! MCAVAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ray McAvay walks out onto the stage and he’s followed closely by his valets Dark and Stormy. They pose on the stage and point to the lettering on their t-shirts which read: ‘Show Up. Punch In.’ on the front. Then they turn around and show the phrase ‘Shut Up. Get to Work’ on the back.
Benny Newell: They even brought the barbeque sauce again! Fuck yeah!
McAvay and company begin marching to the ring and bringing up the end is McAvay’s trainer and manager ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido with the familiar Big Bertha Driver in his hands.
Joe Hoffman: McAvay lost a heartbreaker last week when he lost his LSD championship to Max Kael in their hellacious ladder match.
Benny Newell: Fuck the title Hoffman, I got to lick tits!
The entourage of slowly makes their way around the ring as Ray climbs up the ring steps and gets into the ring. Ray begins to stretch out on the ropes as he awaits the bell.
Joe Hoffman: McAvay has been critical as of late when it comes to the term pro wrestling and sports entertainment and which is better.
Benny Newell: I gotta say I‘m more of a sports entertainment fan.
Joe Hoffman: Why’s that?
Benny Newell: Because who wasn’t entertained when I was licking barbeque sauce off of two gorgeous women?
Hortega checks both men before signaling for the bell.
Ding. Ding.
Joe Hoffman: And we are underway.
McKenna and McAvay begin to circle one another in the center of the ring. McAvay goes to lock up but McKenna moves out of the way.
The two begin to circle each other once again and this time it’s McKenna who tries something as he shoots in low but the Texan sidesteps out of the way.
Joe Hoffman: Each of these two men know what a win means to them and they are feeling each other out.
Benny Newell: You call the action in the ring Hoffman while I call the ass shaking action of Dark and Stormy on the outside of the ring.
As McKenna gets back up to his feet the to go to lock up, but the a familiar entrance theme stops them in their tracks.
Benny Newell: What the fuck is he doing out here?
Joe Hoffman: How the heck am I suppose to know?
Benny Newell: You’re the man whose suppose to know everything aren’t you?!?!?!?
Scott Stevens appears on the stage and the boos reign down on the most hated man in the House of Maurako.
Stevens slowly makes his way down towards the ring and is clapping wildly and cheering on McKenna emphatically.
McKenna leans over the ropes and stares daggers through Stevens as his former tag partner is cheering him on as he makes his way around the ring and Stevens makes his way towards the commentary booth.
With McKenna distracted, Tin Cup seizes the opportunity with school boy.
Hortega drops to the mat and counts.
Uno.
Dos.
Kickout.
Joe Hoffman: The distraction by Stevens almost cost him the match.
Benny Newell: And now that fuck is on his way…….Hey how you doing Stevens?
Benny’s tune changes as Stevens puts on a headset and takes a seat next to him.
Scott Stevens: I’m doing well actually Benny. I came down to watch a great match up and I brought you this as well.
Stevens hands Benny a bottle of Jack and the Indy Legend quickly grabs it from the Texan’s grasp.
Inside the ring, McAvay has grounded the Scotsman as he has him in a reverse chin lock.
Hortega asks the Scotsman if he wants to quit but McKenna tells him no. McKenna remembering the damage done to McAvay’s face as he begins to claw away at the damaged area. McAvay tries to shake McKenna’s hands away, but the Scot is able to grab a hold of Tin Cup’s face and push his thumbs into the healing cheeks of McAvay. The Texan yells out and tries hold muscle through the pain, but McKenna digs a little deeper and the pain becomes too much for Ray to bear and he has no choice but to release the hold.
Joe Hoffman: McAvay still feeling the effects of the ladder match last week.
Benny Newell: That’s the whole point of being the LSD champion Hoffman, you have to be able to handle what ever pain is thrust upon you.
McKenna goes low as he takes Ray’s feet out from under him with a quick sweep. McKenna stomps away on the downed Texan before jumping up and placing a knee onto the face of McAvay.
Joe Hoffman: McKenna focus of the attack is the face of Tin Cup.
Scott Stevens: Which is smart because it’s still vulnerable from the ladder match. That kind of brutality he suffered against Max doesn’t heal in a week.
Benny Newell: Yeah Hoffhole! Listen to the man!
McKenna rolls through and hits the ropes as he gets to his feet and jumps back first onto the chest of McAvay.
McKenna immediately turns and hooks a leg and yells for Hortega to count.
Hortega slides into position.
Uno.
Dos.
Shoulder up.
McKenna immediately bars the arm and in the process gazes towards Stevens.
Joe Hoffman: McKenna staring hard at Stevens as he has McAvay in an arm bar.
Scott Stevens: McKenna can stare all he wants but it won’t do any good.
Joe Hoffman: Why’s that?
Scott Stevens: The I am above McKenna.
McKenna continues to work over the arm of McAvay as he drives knee after knee into it before pointing towards Stevens and delivers another knee into the arm of Tin Cup.
Joe Hoffman: That’s a pretty lofty statement coming from you.
Scott Stevens: I understand and appreciate the fire that he has about wanting to put on a performance of a lifetime and use my name to catipault himself to the next level but he’s had how many opportunities to do that? Eleven? Twelve?
McKenna brings McAvay to his feet and begins to drive his shoulder into Ray’s and keeps doing this as McKenna pushes the Texan to the nearest corner. McKenna takes Ray down with an arm bar takedown and as he gets up he goes over to the ropes and stares at Stevens.
Joe Hoffman: McKenna keeps looking over at you hoping he’s got your attention.
Scott Stevens: He can keep looking over here all he wants but he isn’t going to get me in that ring. I have two goals left to achieve in this company and the only one I can control is the world championship. Mario wants entertaining matches, and McKenna vs. Stevens doesn’t put asses in seats, but Stevens vs. Jace Parker Davidson does. If I get into that ring with McKenna he could end up paralyzed or worse. I’m doing him a fucking favor.
McKenna builds himself a head of steam and begins to bounce of the bottom rope then the middle and the top as he proceeds to do a backwards somersault.
McKenna doubles over holding his stomach because McAvay was able to get his knees up in time to counter the moonsault.
Joe Hoffman: McAvay with a great counter.
Scott Stevens: See, McKenna’s so worried about me that he should’ve been more worried about McAvay being out to attempt that move.
Ray seeing an opening grabs McKenna by the neck…Neckbreaker! Ray again grabs him by the back of the neck…Running Bulldog!
Joe Hoffman: Tin Cup with the Shaken and Stirred.
McAvay quickly goes for a cover.
Uno.
Dos.
Tres.
NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
McKenna gets the shoulder up.
Tin Cup holds up three fingers towards the referee but Hortega says it was only a count of dos.
Tin Cup looks over to his manager and taps his nose twice.
Joe Hoffman: McKenna looks to be in dire straits here.
Scott Stevens: Usually after that combination of moves it’s Caddyshack time.
Benny Newell: THE TWO OF YOU NEED TO SHUTTHE FUCK UP CAUSE IT’S TITTY TIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIME!!!!!!!!!
Dark and Stormy crawl onto the ring apron and begin to remove their tops. Hortega sees the breasts begin to protrude under the bottom of the short cut tops and sprints over to the girls with his hand in his pants trying to either pull out his cock or a wad of pesos to tip the girls with.
Benny Newell: This beaner and his God damn pesos. Fucking drink.
Dark reaches behind her and produces the infamous JR’s BBQ sauce and holds it high into the air and begins to pour it over her and Stormy’s chest.
Benny Newell: I’m getting hungry.
While McAvay’s “friends” have the referee distracted, Chris tosses in the Callaway.
Tin Cup catches the club and gives Chris a thumbs up for doing a good job.
Joe Hoffman: McAvay looking to Tee Off on McKenna here.
Unbeknownst to McAvay, McKenna is back to his feet and drills Ray in his face with a standing dropkick that sends the Texan to the canvas.
McKenna picks up the club and breaks it over his knee and tosses it out of the ring and goes for a cover, but sees Hortega is still mesmerized by Dark and Stormy.
McKenna hits the ropes and sends McAvay’s valets to the floor.
Benny Newell: That fucking faggot! I knew all Scottish people were fucking flamers by wearing dresses and shit all the time.
Joe Hoffman: Maybe it was an accident.
Benny Newell: Accident my ass, I’m going over to see if they need help.
McKenna grabs Hortega and yells for him to count as he covers McAvay.
Uno.
Dos.
Shoulder up.
McKenna gets to his feet and slams his fist down on the mat waiting for Ray to get up.
Scott Stevens: Is Benny licking the barbeque sauce off the ladies?
Joe Hoffman: He said he was going to help them and that’s his way of helping them I guess.
Scott Stevens: More like helping himself is more like it.
As McAvay slowly makes his way back up to his feet. As soon as he turns around, McKenna throws himself forward with a haymaker coming towards the Texan.
Joe Hoffman: Oh my! McAvay barely gets out of the way of McKenna’s Combo Breaker.
McAvay takes advantage of the missed Superman punch and drills McKenna with a belly to back suplex.
McAvay looks towards his manager, Chris Escondido, for the Big Bertha Driver, but his manager shows him that the club has been broken leading Tin Cup to improvise.
McAvay grabs McKenna and places him between his legs.
Scott Stevens: He’s not going for what I think he’s going for is he Hoffman?
Joe Hoffman: He may………
Tin Cup lifts McKenna up and spins towards the center of the ring and delivers a massive sit-out power bomb.
Joe Hoffman: MCGILL-BOMB! MCGILL-BOMB! HOLY HECK THAT’S GOT TO BE IT!
Hortega checks the shoulders before he begins his cadence.
Uno.
Dos.
Tres.
NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
McKenna is able to kickout and McAvay can’t believe it.
Scott Stevens: Holy shit! I thought Ray had him there.
Joe Hoffman: I think everyone did.
McAvay looks towards Escondido who motions that’s it time to put McKenna to sleep.
McAvay uses all his power to lift a lifeless McKenna to his feet and shove him chest first into the nearest set of turnbuckles.
As McKenna stumbles backwards out of the corner, Ray grabs McKenna by his mane and locks in the dragon sleeper.
Joe Hoffman: McKenna’s trying to fight free.
Scott Stevens: If he can climb the ropes he may have a shot at an escape.
McAvay sensing the Scotsman trying to inch towards the ropes slings him backwards with a reverse suplex.
He lets go long enough to better position himself as he locks in the hold. McKenna continues to fight but the Texan turns him away from any lifelines and locks his legs around McKenna’s body and the young man with nowhere to go has no choice but to tap.
Bryan McVay: And your winner by submission…..“Tin Cup“ RAY! MCAVAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Joe Hoffman: McKenna showed tremoudous heart here tonight but McAvay was just too much for the youngster.
Scott Stevens: He’s impressive and talented no doubt, but losses doesn’t get the attention of Mario and that doesn’t get me in the ring.
Stevens leaves the commentary booth and slides into the ring.
Joe Hoffman: Come on Scott he just had a match.
McKenna sees Stevens standing in the ring and backup into the corner.
McAvay sees Stevens as well and gets defensive.
Stevens turns his attention away from McKenna and extends a hand to McAvay. McAvay cautiously accepts it and the two shake.
Scott Stevens: Hell of a job here tonight.
The microphones from the cameras hear Stevens commend Tin Cup on his performance and the crowd cheers as he lifts McAvay’s hand high in victory.
Joe Hoffman: Show of sportsmanship from one Texan to another.
As McAvay and Stevens circles the ring to where they are facing McKenna, Stevens yanks McAvay in and drops him with McKenna’s Scatter Shot finisher.
Joe Hoffman: What the heck is going on!
Stevens covers McAvay and yells at Hortega in Spanish to count.
Hortega refuses but Stevens yanks him down and pulls him to his face.
Scott Stevens: I said fucking count!
Hortega reluctantly counts to tres.
Scott Stevens: Signal the bell and announce me the winner!
Hortega goes over and explains the situation.
The bell sounds and McVay makes the announcement.
Bryan McVay: And your winner by pinfall…..SCOOOOOOOOOTT! STTTTEEEEEEEVVVVVEEEEEENSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Stevens immediately jumps into the air and throws a fist up celebrating. He makes his way over to McKenna.
Scott Stevens: That’s how you fucking win a match! Maybe when you start winning I’ll maybe, just maybe grace you with my presence in this ring, but not until then.
Stevens says with a laugh as he slides out of the ring and heads up the ramp to a chorus of boos
Joe Hoffman: Simply despicable.
Suddenly, the High Octane Vision fires up and Jill Berg’s face appears on the screen as we see Ray slowly making his way to the far ropes to pull himself up after taking McKenna’s finisher from Stevens.
Jill Berg (from the HOV): Hello Ray.
Ray peers at the HOV and just shakes his head.
Jill Berg: Sorry I’m not there in person tonight. But unfortunately, after what happened last week it’s clear that Mr. Maurako hasn’t taken the appropriate steps to make sure special VIP’s like me are properly protected when they visit backstage.
As Ray lays across the bottom rope he is handed a microphone from one of of the HOW crewmen.
Ray McAvay: Well, my daughter isn’t here to punch you in the face tonight so you probably would have been safe.
Jill Berg: Look Ray. If I’m Ryan McKenna, I’m really upset with you. I’m not sure what you were thinking, but I can’t believe you went into business for yourself tonight.
Ray McAvay: What are you talking about?
Jill Berg: Didn’t you read the script? You weren’t supposed to win the match.
Ray McAvay: There’s no script, Jill.
Jill Berg: No, no. All sports entertainment programs have a script.
Jill holds up a script.
Jill Berg: See? Ray, I’m only trying to help you out. You’re not going to impress the big companies if you won’t put over your opponent when it says to do so in the script.
Ray McAvay: Jill. There’s no script and you’re inferring that the outcome of the match was already determined before it the bell even rang. It wasn’t.
Jill Berg: Well of course the outcome was determined. That’s in the script of any pure sports entertainment program.
Ray McAvay: For the last time, the outcome was not determined and there’s no fucking script Jill.
Jill Berg: And you really shouldn’t swear like that either. Proper sports entertainment companies don’t like when you use inappropriate language like that on their shows. It doesn’t portray a positive corporate image.
McAvay holds up his hand, middle finger extended.
Ray McAvay: Here’s what I think of your positive corporate image.
Jill Berg: Now Ray, no need to be hostile. I’m only doing this for your own good. I’ll have my Executive Assistant Jerry bring out tonight’s script to you and you can see for yourself how the match was supposed to go.
Jerry walks out from the back holding a binder containing the ‘script.’ He climbs into the ring and hands McAvay the binder. Ray skims through it and nods.
Ray McAvay: I see.
McAvay thumbs through the pages.
Jill Berg: I’m hoping that you’ll coming to your senses and accept that you’ll always just be someone who puts other people over.
Ray motions to a cameraman.
Ray McAvay: Follow me.
Jill Berg: Ray. Where are you going?
Ray slowly rolls out thru the bottom rope and exits the ring and the cameraman follows him to the back. Along the way, he passes Bert the Janitor who’s cleaning up a mess in the hallway.
Ray McAvay: Hi Bert.
Bert the Janitor: Hello Ray.
McAvay moves on and allows Bert to get back to what he was doing. Ray finds the first men’s room he can find and goes inside. Then he goes inside a stall. The cameraman follows…
Ray McAvay: Hey! Do you mind?
The cameraman then backs out and the stall door closes.
Back at ringside, a confused Jill Berg wonders what’s going on.
Jill Berg: Jerry, what’s happening?
Jerry shrugs.
Jill Berg: Well, while we’re waiting, I’d like to take this opportunity to introduce to High Octane Wrestling a man who really needs no introduction. He is a senior partner at the sports entertainment consulting firm McMann and Rousseau, and the man that whoever is actually running H.O.W. right now needs to listen to. Please give it up for a true sports entertainment genius and someone who can save High Octane Wrestling from itself- Mr. McMann!
McMann’s smug face appears on screen next to Jill. The crowd goes silent.
Mr. McMann: I’d like to thank the esteemed Missouri Valley Champion Jill Berg for that kind introduction. I would like to take this opportunity to remind the management at High Octane Wrestling that the serious problem that they face right now is nothing that a good corporate sports entertainment consultant can’t dive into and fix. For example, this LSD title thing. You know, hardcore wrestling is passé. It’s so 1998. Extreme is simply a brand name now to sell a specific product to a niche audience. No one wants to see flaming ladder matches like that awful match we saw last week or any of that ultra-violent slash dangerous stuff now because it doesn’t sell well to people with the real money to spend. It’s not a product that corporate America will buy.
The crowd boos, jeers, catcalls, and start heaving cups and bottles at the HOV.
Jill Berg: You people are being rude. This man knows more about sports entertainment than you. He’s giving you excellent information about why HOW is failing right now and how his expertise in the world of sports entertainment can save-
Then the sound Ray is relieving himself in the bathroom is heard over the sound system- think the scene from The Naked Gun where Frank Drebin uses the urinal while he has a live microphone on him.
Jill Berg: …fix…High Octane-
Next, the sound of a movement being made. Hint- it’s not the second movement of Tchaikovsky’s 5th Symphony.
Jill Berg: …Wrestling.
Jill gets a disgusted look on her face as the sound of paper being torn out of a binder is heard followed by rustling.
Ray McAvay’s voice: Jill, in case you’re wondering, I’m using your sports entertainment script to wipe my ass.
A rousing cheer comes up from the crowd.
Ray McAvay’s voice: It’s a little bit rough, but otherwise, it’s okay.
The sound of the toilet flushing in the background is clearly heard.
Ray McAvay’s voice: Oh oh. I guess the septic system here doesn’t like your sports entertainment script either…BERT!