Post by Jman2k3 on Jun 22, 2018 7:11:01 GMT
Joe Hoffman: Alright folks, welcome back to ringside. We still have our World Championship match and the final of the Lee Best Invitational to bring you...
Benny Newell: Yeah, we’re gonna see Townsend squash Mike and become five time, and then we get an all Best Alliance main event! What could be better?!?!!
Joe Hoffman: …but before we get to those contests, we have the second of two tag team matches to bring to you tonight. Earlier, you saw Juvian Ramorez and Christopher Diamond take on the Best Alliance pairing of Scottywood and Matt Fury Jr., and now we’re about to bring you The Unstable, represented by Jace Parker Davidson and Scott Stevens as they take on Tara Michaels and Kirsta Lewis!
Benny Newell: Well, I guess a wardrobe malfunction could be better...
Joe Hoffman: Hasn’t happened yet and is unlikely to happen, Benny. Folks, as we know, relations between most of the members of the Unstable are shaky at best, and they often fail to demonstrate any sort of teamwork when they are in the ring together - tonight, they take on a pair of ladies who are firmly and solidly together, as Lewis and Michaels pair up for the first time since they announced their alliance last week. Both of these ladies are due to take on Jace Parker Davidson in handicap action at March To Glory, so with the odds even tonight, will we get to see the same winner we will see in just a few short days?
Benny Newell: Probably...I just hope they don’t go try to punt Jace in the balls.
Joe Hoffman: Why’s that, Benny?
Benny Newell: Because it’ll be pretty fucking embarrassing for him when he doesn’t go down like a sack of shit...
Joe Hoffman: Right....
Benny Newell: Because, you know...he doesn’t have any?!
Joe Hoffman: I’m pretty sure we’ve seen him hit the canvas when he’s been low blowed before, Benny.
Benny Newell: Fuck you, Hoffhole - always trying to ruin my fun. DRINK!
Joe Hoffman: Please...Bryan, take it away.
McVay doesn’t immediately start his introduction, instead, Halestorm’s I Get Off plays as Kirsta Lewis appears with a lead pipe in her hand. She wraps her hand around it tightly and raises it above her head. Tara Michaels follows her out onto the stage, and this new found pairing make their way to ringside.
Bryan McVay: The following contest is a tag team match and is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, they are the team of TARA MICHAAAAAAAELSSSSSSS AND KIRSSSSSSSSTA LEWWWWWWWISSSSS!!!!!
Kirsta flips off the fans at the side of the ramp as she makes her way down to the ring as Tara does her level best to ignore any of the paying customers in attendance tonight.
Joe Hoffman: These women certainly look ready to dish out some punishment...
Benny Newell: And what gets me, Hoffhole, is they do it while wearing so little! It’s like...it’s like they reached into my head and pulled out one of my dreams!
The lights in the arena go pitch black, as red lasers and spotlights light up the area. The video screen lights up and flashes across the screen, "Nothing survives my sting!" The crowd starts booing, but it’s not just a normal level of booing. It’s a booing of pure hatred. Chris Benoit level booing as an electric guitar wails throughout the PA system and the words of Dave Mustaine's voice echoes throughout the arena, "As I climb onto your back, I will promise not to sting. I will, tell you what you want to hear and not mean anything. Then I, treat you like a dog, as I shoot my venom in. You pretend you didn't know, that I am The Scorpion, whoa!" The jeering intensifies as the instrumental after the chorus hits the speakers, drawing out The Scorpion, Scott Stevens, accompanied by his Unstable stable mate, Jace Parker Davidson!
Bryan McVay: And their opponents, representing The Unstable, they are “The Scorpion” SCOTTTTTTT STEEEEEEVENSSSSSSSSS and JACE PAAAAAAARKERRRRRR DAAAAAAAVIDSOOOOOOOONNN!!!!!!!
Both men make their way to the ring, Stevens taunting the women while Jace merely fixes Tara with an intense glare.
Benny Newell: Are they divorced?
Joe Hoffman: I’m not entirely sure, Benny.
Benny Newell: I’m just wondering if she’ll call the cops for domestic violence if she loses, ‘cus ol’ haircut over there looks as pissed as I’ve ever seen him.
Joe Hoffman: A reasonable question, for once. Honestly, Benny...I have no idea.
Benny Newell: Typical.
Kirsta informs Tara that she’ll start the match, whereas Stevens more or less just tells Jace he will. Hortega seems happy enough with the state of affairs as wrestlers climb out to the apron, so he calls for the bell! There’s no drawn out feeling out process as Stevens explodes out of his corner, smashing into Lewis’ chest with a dropkick! The Hellcat goes down hard but as soon as she gets back up she’s met with a headbutt from Stevens! She staggers back, not going down, which is all the opportunity Stevens needs to deliver a few overhand rights before he grabs hold of Lewis around the waist, and after a little suggestive swaying of the hips, hurls her overhead with a belly to belly!
Joe Hoffman: The match is starting off at an intense pace here, folks!
Benny Newell: Ya...I’d be surprised if Stevens wasn’t popping a boner inside those wrestling tights of his right now...
Joe Hoffman: We can always rely on you to lower the tone, can’t we?
Benny Newell: It’s what I’m fucking paid for, Hoffman.
Joe Hoffman: No talk of the beautiful technique shown by Stevens with that belly to belly, instead, just talk of how he swayed his hips. Typical.
Stevens reaches down and drags Lewis up by her hair before he tosses her overhead with a T-Bone suplex! He takes a moment to let the crowd know exactly how in control of this match he is, which, really, is a mistake - Lewis wakes up and socks him one right in the Stevens’ family jewels! He drops like a sack of shit, as Lewis hurls boots down at his head, trying to keep him pinned to the canvas! Stevens grabs Lewis by the foot and trips her, using the time to get back to his feet, but Lewis doesn’t stay down for very long at all, getting up with Stevens and snapping off a hurricanrana before The Scorpion has a chance to do anything!
Benny Newell: See, that’s why you’ve always gotta watch your shit around a woman like Kirsta, man...she’ll just whack you in the nutsack first opportunity she gets.
Joe Hoffman: Stevens did seem to think he had control of the match there, took his eye off the ball a little, perhaps.
Benny Newell: No fuckin’ shit, Sherlock!
Stevens looks over towards Jace and holds his hand out, but is just a foot or two short...Lewis flies through the air, dropping an elbow into the small of his back! Jace holds his hand out, looking for the tag...Stevens stretches and slaps Jace’s hand! Hortega signals that it was a clean tag, and Jace enters the ring almost taking Lewis’ head off with a clothesline! She pops back up, but again, is met with another clothesline! She gets up for a third time, and is met with an absolutely vicious spear from the record breaking former Champion! She doesn’t get up, Jace instead dragging her up, where he takes his time to deliver a brainbuster, dropping her right on her head!
Joe Hoffman: And on the other hand, Jace Parker Davidson looks in absolutely no mood for any sort of showboating whatsoever tonight.
Benny Newell: No fucking shit...I bet he just wants to annihilate these bitches and go home.
Joe Hoffman: I wouldn’t have used those terms, but yes, I expect he feels something along those lines.
Kirsta starts to struggle over towards her corner, and Jace is more than happy to lend her a hand, grabbing her by the wrist and slapping Tara’s hand for the tag! Hortega calls for the change, as Michaels is a little tentative climbing into the ring, as Jace merely beckons her in. She eventually gets in and there’s a moment of palpable tension in the air before the two of them fly into blows in the center of the ring! After a vicious exchange, Tara gets the advantage by raking Jace’s eyes, but after she takes a running start, looking for a flying headscissors, Jace sits out, pancaking her face first into the canvas! He picks her back up, hoisting her onto his shoulders before he drives her into the canvas with a death valley driver!
Benny Newell: Man...that dude is PISSED. If I had a wife, and she left me for another chick...I think I’d be pretty fucking happy about that turn of events. Especially if they were showing off their new found lesbo powers on television every week!
Joe Hoffman: Well...I think it’d be a small miracle if you found a wife, Benny.
Benny Newell: Yeah, because I’m too much man for just one woman, Hoffman! I need to make like the Omar Rasheems of the world and have like, fuckin’ seven or something.
Joe Hoffman: I really should have expected something like that.
Benny Newell: Yeah...you should have. DRINK!
Jace patiently waits for Tara to get to her feet, and as soon as she does, still looking a little out of it, he bounces into the ropes where Scott Stevens reaches over and tags himself back in! The two members of the Unstable immediately erupt into argument, Jace not quite believing that he was tagged out whilst firmly in control of the match...but it’s all the opportunity that Kirsta needs to charge across the ring and spear Jace to the outside! Tara comes around as Stevens, looking a little confused at the flying missile of one hundred thirty pounds of humanity that just flew past him, turns to the middle of the ring...where again, he’s met with a boot right to his nutsack! He goes to crumple, but Tara grabs hold of his head and delivers The Face Lift! She rolls Stevens over, looking for the cover, right as Jace starts to climb back into the ring, Lewis holding onto his leg for all she’s worth...
Uno....
Dos....
Tres!!!
Bryan McVay: And your winners, in 12 minutes, 32 seconds....KIRSTA LEWIS AND TARAAAAAAAA MIIIIIIICHAEEEEEEELLLLLLSSSSSS!!!!!!!
Jace manages to get free and scrambles into the ring just a second too late! The two women who are busy perpetrating hot lesbian action on our screens now, apparently, celebrate their way up the ramp as the inquest begins in the ring.
Joe Hoffman: Well, a miscommunication by the Unstable members seems to have cost them the match here tonight.
Benny Newell: Stevens being a fucking dumbass is more like it.
Joe Hoffman: You may well have a point there, Benny. Anyway, folks, I’m getting word we’ve got to head backstage. Do not move - our next match is our World Championship contest for the evening, before we find out who the winner of the 2013 Lee Best Invitational is
Benny Newell: Yeah, we’re gonna see Townsend squash Mike and become five time, and then we get an all Best Alliance main event! What could be better?!?!!
Joe Hoffman: …but before we get to those contests, we have the second of two tag team matches to bring to you tonight. Earlier, you saw Juvian Ramorez and Christopher Diamond take on the Best Alliance pairing of Scottywood and Matt Fury Jr., and now we’re about to bring you The Unstable, represented by Jace Parker Davidson and Scott Stevens as they take on Tara Michaels and Kirsta Lewis!
Benny Newell: Well, I guess a wardrobe malfunction could be better...
Joe Hoffman: Hasn’t happened yet and is unlikely to happen, Benny. Folks, as we know, relations between most of the members of the Unstable are shaky at best, and they often fail to demonstrate any sort of teamwork when they are in the ring together - tonight, they take on a pair of ladies who are firmly and solidly together, as Lewis and Michaels pair up for the first time since they announced their alliance last week. Both of these ladies are due to take on Jace Parker Davidson in handicap action at March To Glory, so with the odds even tonight, will we get to see the same winner we will see in just a few short days?
Benny Newell: Probably...I just hope they don’t go try to punt Jace in the balls.
Joe Hoffman: Why’s that, Benny?
Benny Newell: Because it’ll be pretty fucking embarrassing for him when he doesn’t go down like a sack of shit...
Joe Hoffman: Right....
Benny Newell: Because, you know...he doesn’t have any?!
Joe Hoffman: I’m pretty sure we’ve seen him hit the canvas when he’s been low blowed before, Benny.
Benny Newell: Fuck you, Hoffhole - always trying to ruin my fun. DRINK!
Joe Hoffman: Please...Bryan, take it away.
McVay doesn’t immediately start his introduction, instead, Halestorm’s I Get Off plays as Kirsta Lewis appears with a lead pipe in her hand. She wraps her hand around it tightly and raises it above her head. Tara Michaels follows her out onto the stage, and this new found pairing make their way to ringside.
Bryan McVay: The following contest is a tag team match and is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, they are the team of TARA MICHAAAAAAAELSSSSSSS AND KIRSSSSSSSSTA LEWWWWWWWISSSSS!!!!!
Kirsta flips off the fans at the side of the ramp as she makes her way down to the ring as Tara does her level best to ignore any of the paying customers in attendance tonight.
Joe Hoffman: These women certainly look ready to dish out some punishment...
Benny Newell: And what gets me, Hoffhole, is they do it while wearing so little! It’s like...it’s like they reached into my head and pulled out one of my dreams!
The lights in the arena go pitch black, as red lasers and spotlights light up the area. The video screen lights up and flashes across the screen, "Nothing survives my sting!" The crowd starts booing, but it’s not just a normal level of booing. It’s a booing of pure hatred. Chris Benoit level booing as an electric guitar wails throughout the PA system and the words of Dave Mustaine's voice echoes throughout the arena, "As I climb onto your back, I will promise not to sting. I will, tell you what you want to hear and not mean anything. Then I, treat you like a dog, as I shoot my venom in. You pretend you didn't know, that I am The Scorpion, whoa!" The jeering intensifies as the instrumental after the chorus hits the speakers, drawing out The Scorpion, Scott Stevens, accompanied by his Unstable stable mate, Jace Parker Davidson!
Bryan McVay: And their opponents, representing The Unstable, they are “The Scorpion” SCOTTTTTTT STEEEEEEVENSSSSSSSSS and JACE PAAAAAAARKERRRRRR DAAAAAAAVIDSOOOOOOOONNN!!!!!!!
Both men make their way to the ring, Stevens taunting the women while Jace merely fixes Tara with an intense glare.
Benny Newell: Are they divorced?
Joe Hoffman: I’m not entirely sure, Benny.
Benny Newell: I’m just wondering if she’ll call the cops for domestic violence if she loses, ‘cus ol’ haircut over there looks as pissed as I’ve ever seen him.
Joe Hoffman: A reasonable question, for once. Honestly, Benny...I have no idea.
Benny Newell: Typical.
Kirsta informs Tara that she’ll start the match, whereas Stevens more or less just tells Jace he will. Hortega seems happy enough with the state of affairs as wrestlers climb out to the apron, so he calls for the bell! There’s no drawn out feeling out process as Stevens explodes out of his corner, smashing into Lewis’ chest with a dropkick! The Hellcat goes down hard but as soon as she gets back up she’s met with a headbutt from Stevens! She staggers back, not going down, which is all the opportunity Stevens needs to deliver a few overhand rights before he grabs hold of Lewis around the waist, and after a little suggestive swaying of the hips, hurls her overhead with a belly to belly!
Joe Hoffman: The match is starting off at an intense pace here, folks!
Benny Newell: Ya...I’d be surprised if Stevens wasn’t popping a boner inside those wrestling tights of his right now...
Joe Hoffman: We can always rely on you to lower the tone, can’t we?
Benny Newell: It’s what I’m fucking paid for, Hoffman.
Joe Hoffman: No talk of the beautiful technique shown by Stevens with that belly to belly, instead, just talk of how he swayed his hips. Typical.
Stevens reaches down and drags Lewis up by her hair before he tosses her overhead with a T-Bone suplex! He takes a moment to let the crowd know exactly how in control of this match he is, which, really, is a mistake - Lewis wakes up and socks him one right in the Stevens’ family jewels! He drops like a sack of shit, as Lewis hurls boots down at his head, trying to keep him pinned to the canvas! Stevens grabs Lewis by the foot and trips her, using the time to get back to his feet, but Lewis doesn’t stay down for very long at all, getting up with Stevens and snapping off a hurricanrana before The Scorpion has a chance to do anything!
Benny Newell: See, that’s why you’ve always gotta watch your shit around a woman like Kirsta, man...she’ll just whack you in the nutsack first opportunity she gets.
Joe Hoffman: Stevens did seem to think he had control of the match there, took his eye off the ball a little, perhaps.
Benny Newell: No fuckin’ shit, Sherlock!
Stevens looks over towards Jace and holds his hand out, but is just a foot or two short...Lewis flies through the air, dropping an elbow into the small of his back! Jace holds his hand out, looking for the tag...Stevens stretches and slaps Jace’s hand! Hortega signals that it was a clean tag, and Jace enters the ring almost taking Lewis’ head off with a clothesline! She pops back up, but again, is met with another clothesline! She gets up for a third time, and is met with an absolutely vicious spear from the record breaking former Champion! She doesn’t get up, Jace instead dragging her up, where he takes his time to deliver a brainbuster, dropping her right on her head!
Joe Hoffman: And on the other hand, Jace Parker Davidson looks in absolutely no mood for any sort of showboating whatsoever tonight.
Benny Newell: No fucking shit...I bet he just wants to annihilate these bitches and go home.
Joe Hoffman: I wouldn’t have used those terms, but yes, I expect he feels something along those lines.
Kirsta starts to struggle over towards her corner, and Jace is more than happy to lend her a hand, grabbing her by the wrist and slapping Tara’s hand for the tag! Hortega calls for the change, as Michaels is a little tentative climbing into the ring, as Jace merely beckons her in. She eventually gets in and there’s a moment of palpable tension in the air before the two of them fly into blows in the center of the ring! After a vicious exchange, Tara gets the advantage by raking Jace’s eyes, but after she takes a running start, looking for a flying headscissors, Jace sits out, pancaking her face first into the canvas! He picks her back up, hoisting her onto his shoulders before he drives her into the canvas with a death valley driver!
Benny Newell: Man...that dude is PISSED. If I had a wife, and she left me for another chick...I think I’d be pretty fucking happy about that turn of events. Especially if they were showing off their new found lesbo powers on television every week!
Joe Hoffman: Well...I think it’d be a small miracle if you found a wife, Benny.
Benny Newell: Yeah, because I’m too much man for just one woman, Hoffman! I need to make like the Omar Rasheems of the world and have like, fuckin’ seven or something.
Joe Hoffman: I really should have expected something like that.
Benny Newell: Yeah...you should have. DRINK!
Jace patiently waits for Tara to get to her feet, and as soon as she does, still looking a little out of it, he bounces into the ropes where Scott Stevens reaches over and tags himself back in! The two members of the Unstable immediately erupt into argument, Jace not quite believing that he was tagged out whilst firmly in control of the match...but it’s all the opportunity that Kirsta needs to charge across the ring and spear Jace to the outside! Tara comes around as Stevens, looking a little confused at the flying missile of one hundred thirty pounds of humanity that just flew past him, turns to the middle of the ring...where again, he’s met with a boot right to his nutsack! He goes to crumple, but Tara grabs hold of his head and delivers The Face Lift! She rolls Stevens over, looking for the cover, right as Jace starts to climb back into the ring, Lewis holding onto his leg for all she’s worth...
Uno....
Dos....
Tres!!!
Bryan McVay: And your winners, in 12 minutes, 32 seconds....KIRSTA LEWIS AND TARAAAAAAAA MIIIIIIICHAEEEEEEELLLLLLSSSSSS!!!!!!!
Jace manages to get free and scrambles into the ring just a second too late! The two women who are busy perpetrating hot lesbian action on our screens now, apparently, celebrate their way up the ramp as the inquest begins in the ring.
Joe Hoffman: Well, a miscommunication by the Unstable members seems to have cost them the match here tonight.
Benny Newell: Stevens being a fucking dumbass is more like it.
Joe Hoffman: You may well have a point there, Benny. Anyway, folks, I’m getting word we’ve got to head backstage. Do not move - our next match is our World Championship contest for the evening, before we find out who the winner of the 2013 Lee Best Invitational is