Post by Jman2k3 on Jun 15, 2018 6:05:28 GMT
Joe Hoffman: And we are back to determine the number contenders for the prestigious ICON and LSD championships.
Benny Newell: Good thing I’m not in this match Hoffman, they would all be in a world off hurt.
Joe Hoffman: Sure Benny.
Benny Newell: Mother fucker I almost beat Mike Best and became the ICON champion or did you sleep through that match Hoffhole?!?!?!?
Joe Hoffman: Mike was drunk Benny.
Benny Newell: So was I numb nuts! It was a Century Club match. Speaking of that, Chilly Willy time!!!!!!!
Joe Hoffman: While Benny is snorting Jack, here is our guest ref for this match.
The lights in the arena go pitch black, as red lasers and spotlights light up the area. The video screen lights up and flashes across the screen, "Nothing survives my sting!" The crowd starts booing, but it’s not just a normal level of booing. It’s a booing of pure hatred. Chris Benoit level booing as an electric guitar wails throughout the PA system and the words of Dave Mustaine's voice echoes throughout the arena, "As I climb onto your back, I will promise not to sting. I will, tell you what you want to hear and not mean anything. Then I, treat you like a dog, as I shoot my venom in. You pretend you didn't know, that I am The Scorpion, whoa!"
Bryan McVay: And the special guest referee for this contest, he is the reigning High Octane Wrestling LSD Champion, hailing from Houston, Texas and weighing in at 256lbs, he is The Scorpion SCOTTTTTTTTTTTTT STEEEEEEEEEEEVENSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!
The jeering intensifies as the instrumental after the chorus hits the speakers, drawing out the reigning High Octane Wrestling LSD champion. Walking down the aisle, he talks trash the entire way while raising a fist at a few of the more vocal bashers and showing off his championship. As he finally gets to the ring, he climbs the nearest turnbuckle and stares down at the crowd, an icy glare and the throat slash gesture his only actions as he drops to the mat.
Benny Newell: And just so we’re clear, Hoffman, I hate this asshole. But if anyone can control this chaos with this lunatics it’s Mr. Delusional himself.
"I Get Off" by Halestorm hits. The music continues as Kirsta Lewis makes her way out with a lead pipe in hand.
Brian McVay: Introducing first, from Fort Lauderdale, Florida, weighing in at 130 lbs…. , KIRSTAAAAAA LEWWWWWWISSSSSSSS!
As Kirsta stands on the stage the camera zooms in it shows her cutting herself on the arm with a blade of some kind before tossing it aside..
Benny Newell: Cocaine is a hell of a drug Hoffhole.
Joe Hoffman: Wouldn’t know Benny.
Benny Newell: And that’s why you never got invited to a Best Alliance party.
Kirsta dips the blood into her hand and smears in onto her face like war paint.
Joe Hoffman: Kirsta looking as if she is doing a ritual before she goes into war.
Benny Newell: Oh please, she has no dick sucking contest of the agenda today.
Kirsta wraps her hand tightly around the pipe and slowly raises it above her head. As Kirsta makes her way down to the ring, she circles the squared circle and taps on the steel stairs with her pipe to show that it is real and to psyche herself up. She gets into the ring where Scott Stevens yanks the lead pipe from her and throws it outside.
As Kirsta Lewis continues to get loose the arena lights begin to dim and a spotlight shines down onto the entrance ramp.
Bryan McVay: And her opponent, weighing in at 234 lbs, hailing from Los Angeles, California...SILENT WIIIIIIIIITNEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSS!!!!!!
“30/30-150” by Stone Sour slowly stirs over the sound system and the crowd rises in unison, booing loudly as Silent Witness swaggers out onto the stage.
Benny Newell: These fucking idiots don’t know talent when it dick slaps them in the face.
Standing atop the ramp, the High Octane Hero slowly pans the crowd as an "LSD Legend" graphic appears on the HOV screen behind him, smirking as the riled up fans continue to boo him; some even resorting to throwing things at the former HOW World Champion.
Joe Hoffman: Witness the former hero is now a zero to millions across the globe.
Benny Newell: I’m about to knock the cum out of you for saying that blasphemy Hoffman. This man is a legend and a Hall of Famer. It’s not his fault that the way to get his things done is to shit on everyone else.
Joe Hoffman: A better to be pissed off than pissed on kind of thing?
Benny Newell: Fucking right.
Silent Witness slowly raises his right arm, taunting the crowd, before swaggering down the ramp towards the ring. Reaching the bottom of the ramp, he goes over to a very attractive women, that has knockers the size of Texas, that has a, “Silent Witness = Next LSD & ICON champ” sign, and looks at it. He whispers something into her eat and then he begins to motorboat her boobs. The woman begins to scream with excitement as Witness just smirks and nods. He takes the woman’s sharpie and signs her chest before turning towards the ring.
Benny Newell: That a boy Witness! Slip her nipple the tongue.
Silent Witness walks to the steps, yelling abuse at the hostile crowd as he does so. Climbing the steps, he looks around once more with a disdainful smirk, before stepping between the ropes to prepare for his match.
Benny Newell: This shit is taking longer than a Michael DeNucci intro.
--Cause really I'm a psycho....--
"The Happy Song" by Poets Of The Fall hits and as David Black walks out from the backstage area dressed in his "wrestling attire", black jeans and a black sleeveless shirt with the words "I told you" printed on the front and the words "I'm a psycho" printed on the back, the crowd gives a mixed response to HOW's self-proclaimed psycho.
Bryan McVay: The following match is scheduled for one fall… First making his way to the ring from Los Angeles, California and weighing in at 235 lbs… David Black!!!
Black marches down to the ring at a brisk pace, sometimes stopping randomly to bust out a strange dance move or two, other times singing along with the lyrics to the entrance theme. As he nears the ring he starts running and slides into the ring where he busts out a few more random, wacky looking dance moves until his music dies down, and sometimes he even continues after that.
Joe Hoffman: Black harnessing his inner John Travolta.
“Roman’s Revenge” by Nicki Minaj & Eminem hits and the crowd turns rabid as they rain down the boos and cat calls begin to wail as Tara appears at the top of the ramp.
Bryan McVay: Introducing last, weighing in at 120 pounds, she hails from the City of Angels, Tara Michaels-DAVIDSON!!!!!!!!!!!!
Joe Hoffman: Tara with that visible scar on her face from her former lover and tag partner, Kirsta.
Benny Newell: Good thing about this match Hoffman is we will be seeing titties flying!
Joe Hoffman: How is that Benny when they are both wearing full body suits?
Benny Newell: If there is a will there is a way asshole! Didn’t they teach you anything in school?
Tara comes out in her nun’s outfit. As she makes her way down to the ring she has her hands together and is talking to herself as if she is in prayer. The fans let her have as the jeers intensify as she is covering the goods.
Joe Hoffman: Tara praying for our sins tonight.
Benny Newell: Good cause I just sinned ten times thinking of sticking my dick in her mouth.
A number of fans are yelling at Tara to flash them but she looks at them with a bewildered look on her face. She grabs the cross around her neck, raises her hand up high in the air and begins to pray to her God for these sinners that came here tonight. Tara climbs into the ring and begins to take her outfit off, revealing a full length bodysuit underneath. Tara takes her cross from around her neck and kisses it before placing it around the turnbuckle for safe keeping as her music fades out.
Stevens checks the competitors and calls for the bell.
DING! DING!
Joe Hoffman: And we are underway.
Benny Newell: Time for a….DRINK!
David Black and Silent Witness begin to lock up with one another and starts trading blows while Tara and Kirsta circle each other. Tara rubs the side of her cheek of the reminder that was left by her former friend and lover, Kirsta. Tara lets out a primal scream and double legs Kirsta and begins to wail on her with right hands.
Joe Hoffman: Tara not letting Kirsta forget what she did to her.
Benny Newell: If some bitch did that to me Hoffman backhands would be in order.
As the two girls are playing ground and pound, the two technicians are squaring off. Silent Witness has locked in a top wristlock. Black transitions out of that into a hammerlock. Witness reverses it with a hammerlock of his own. Black hits an elbow to the bridge of Witness’ nose that stuns the LSD Legend. Black kicks him in the gut and whips Witness over with a snap mare before locking in a reverse chinlock.
Joe Hoffman: Witness and Black putting on a clinic before us.
Benny Newell: Them titties bouncing over there is my kind of clinic.
Kirsta manages to block the onslaught of Tara’s punches by grabbing her arm and locking in a version of a triangle choke.
Joe Hoffman: Kirsta with the submission here!
Tara struggles a bit as Kirsta fights to keep it locked in. Tara moves her body around and touches the bottom rope with her feet.
Joe Hoffman: Kirsta not letting go.
Benny Newell: Do your fucking job you honkey!
Stevens makes his way over and begins the count.
1.
2.
3.
4.
Kirsta flips off Stevens and leans through the ropes for added pressure. Stevens not liking his authority challenged stomps on the stomach of the Hell Cat with that walking boot.
Joe Hoffman: The heck was that?!?!?
Benny Newell: He’s just exercising his authority as special guest referee.
Joe Hoffman: BULLCORN BENNY! BULLCORN!
Benny Newell: Language Hoffhole! This is a family show after all.
In the meantime Witness just barely missed a super kick from the psychotic David Black. As Black turns around he is met with a leg lariat. Witness picks up Black and grabs him by the waist.
Joe Hoffman: Suplex coming up.
Witness attempts a German suplex but the psycho blocks it. Black hits an elbow and spins around to the back of Witness.
Joe Hoffman: Beautiful standing switch.
Benny Newell: What’s beautiful Hoffman is the gigantic tits Witness signed earlier. Look at those puppies bounce.
Black lifts the Hall of Famer up but Witness reverses the momentum back forward and rolls. Stevens drops for the pin but Witness rolls through and locks in….
Joe Hoffman: THE SILENCER! Will Black tap?
Black tries to scramble towards the ropes and almost gets there but Witness pulls him back towards the center and sits down.
Joe Hoffman: This has to be it. Black is going to tap out.
As Stevens is checking to see if Black is going to tap, out of nowhere Tara springboards and hits Witness right in the face.
Joe Hoffman: .24 Karat Kick out of nowhere! Cover.
Stevens stumbles over the prone body of Black and begins the quickest count you have ever seen….
1.
2.
3!!!!!
No!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Only a TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! As Kirsta breaks it up.
Kirsta begins to argue with Stevens and he just ignores her. She begins to poke his chest with her index finger rapidly and he just smirks because Black has snuck up behind the former television champion and yanked her by the hair. Black locks in a dragon sleeper and….
Benny Newell: The fuck is he doing?
Joe Hoffman: He’s dancing Benny.
Benny Newell: I know that fuck tard but why?
Joe Hoffman: Why don’t you ask him.
Benny Newell: How about go fuck yourself.
After channeling his inner, “Thriller,” David Black smashes Kirsta’s face into the mat with a snap Cross Rhodes. Black shoots the half and hooks the inside leg.
1.
2.
3.….
Kirsta gets the shoulder up.
Joe Hoffman: The heck kind of counting is that?!?
Benny Newell: He’s just warming up his shoulder Hoffman. All the best guest refs have to be loose and make sure there is no problems in the count.
Black shoots daggers at Stevens as he yells two. The two begin to arguing and all of a sudden Stevens goes down and he starts screaming in pain as he holds onto his foot that is in that protective walking boot.
Joe Hoffman: Witness just whipped Tara into Stevens.
Benny Newell: The hell he do that for? You can’t win the match if you take out the ref dumbass!
As Stevens holds his leg in pain, Black and Silent Witness begin to tee off on the women of HOW. Witness whips Tara into the turnbuckle but she reverses it.
Joe Hoffman: Tara looks to cause some damage here.
Benny Newell: Maybe we will see her famous big titty splash.
Tara runs full force at Silent Witness and jumps.
Benny Newell: TIIIIIIIIITTTTTTIIIIIIIEEEEESSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Witness catches her as she jumps and drops her face first onto the top turnbuckle.
Joe Hoffman: Tara eating the hard turnbuckle.
Benny Newell: She’s use to eating hard things Hoffman.
Witness pulls Tara forward and lifts her up.
Joe Hoffman: All the blood is rushing to Tara’s head.
Benny Newell: The blood has already rushed to my head Hoffman.
Joe Hoffman: Keep it in your pants Benny.
As Silent Witness hits the Breaking Immersion, David Black drops Kirsta with the Blackout. They both cover.
Joe Hoffman: We have a cover but the ref is down.
Benny Newell: Here comes another referee!
Stevens spots the replacement referee coming down and quickly pops up and slides into the ring, desperately trying to make the count for Witness as the other referee slides into the ring to make the count for Black.
1…………..
Joe Hoffman: Who the heck is this guy?
2......................
3………………………………………….
Black and Witness both jump up celebrating. They eventually turn around and begin arguing with one another about who one. The Scorpion crawls out of the ring as the replacement referee quickly starts giving orders to Stevens who pushes him away and demands a microphone.
Scott Stevens: Give me a fucking mic asshole!
Stevens snatches the microphone from Brian McVay and pushes him out of his seat.
Joe Hoffman: Uh oh.
Benny Newell: Should’ve given him the fucking mic like he asked.
Scott Stevens: Your winner for the ICON championship title shot………….DAVID BLACK!
Witness does a Tiger Woods fist pump celebration as he finally gets his LSD title shot against Scott Stevens and David Black celebrates his ICON title shot.
Scott Stevens: And……SILENT WITNESS!
Both men throw their arms up… for different reasons of course, but both are furious with the decision.
Scott Stevens: And the winner of the LSD championship is……NO ONE!
Witness and Black begin yelling and cussing out Stevens.
Scott Stevens: Fuck you and you. Have a nice day.
Stevens throws the microphone towards Black and Witness as he takes off his walking boot and grabs his LSD championship from the time keeper as the referee is shaking his head and trying to tell Stevens differently.
Joe Hoffman: The heck was that?!?!?
Benny Newell: I don’t fucking know but Stevens just fucked Witness!
As Stevens heads up the ramp he turns once more towards the ring and gives David Black and Silent Witness the bird.
Joe Hoffman: But who is this guy in the HOW referee shirt Benny?
OOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH, DRINK, DRANK, DRUNK!
Benny Newell: Oh shit… someone’s in trouble!
Scott Woodson makes his way out on the stage with a mic in hand and starts shaking his head at Stevens.
Scott Woodson: Hold up Stevens. I don’t I gave you the power as special guest referee to make these kind of decisions… now did I? No. So here is what I am gonna do. I said this match was a two falls match… and that is what we saw in the ring. Two falls.
Scott Stevens: Damn straight we did.
Scott Woodson: Yep. And we will have both an ICON and an LSD title contender tonight!
Scott Stevens: Fuck you Scotty!
Scott Woodson: But the question is this Stevens… who will it be. Witness or Black?
Scott Stevens: Neither!
Scott Woodson: Nah… I think I will leave it up to chance….
Scotty reaches into his pocket and pulls out a quarter.
Scott Woodson: Heads it will be Black… Tails it will Witness for the LSD title….
Scotty takes the coin and just hurls it into the crowd.
Scott Woodson: TAILS!
Scott Stevens: WHAT!?
Scott Woodson: Silent Witness is your LSD number one contender!
Scotty’s music hits as he makes his way backstage as Stevens slams his mic on the ground and both Witness and Black celebrate their victories in the ring as we head to commericial.
Benny Newell: Good thing I’m not in this match Hoffman, they would all be in a world off hurt.
Joe Hoffman: Sure Benny.
Benny Newell: Mother fucker I almost beat Mike Best and became the ICON champion or did you sleep through that match Hoffhole?!?!?!?
Joe Hoffman: Mike was drunk Benny.
Benny Newell: So was I numb nuts! It was a Century Club match. Speaking of that, Chilly Willy time!!!!!!!
Joe Hoffman: While Benny is snorting Jack, here is our guest ref for this match.
The lights in the arena go pitch black, as red lasers and spotlights light up the area. The video screen lights up and flashes across the screen, "Nothing survives my sting!" The crowd starts booing, but it’s not just a normal level of booing. It’s a booing of pure hatred. Chris Benoit level booing as an electric guitar wails throughout the PA system and the words of Dave Mustaine's voice echoes throughout the arena, "As I climb onto your back, I will promise not to sting. I will, tell you what you want to hear and not mean anything. Then I, treat you like a dog, as I shoot my venom in. You pretend you didn't know, that I am The Scorpion, whoa!"
Bryan McVay: And the special guest referee for this contest, he is the reigning High Octane Wrestling LSD Champion, hailing from Houston, Texas and weighing in at 256lbs, he is The Scorpion SCOTTTTTTTTTTTTT STEEEEEEEEEEEVENSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!
The jeering intensifies as the instrumental after the chorus hits the speakers, drawing out the reigning High Octane Wrestling LSD champion. Walking down the aisle, he talks trash the entire way while raising a fist at a few of the more vocal bashers and showing off his championship. As he finally gets to the ring, he climbs the nearest turnbuckle and stares down at the crowd, an icy glare and the throat slash gesture his only actions as he drops to the mat.
Benny Newell: And just so we’re clear, Hoffman, I hate this asshole. But if anyone can control this chaos with this lunatics it’s Mr. Delusional himself.
"I Get Off" by Halestorm hits. The music continues as Kirsta Lewis makes her way out with a lead pipe in hand.
Brian McVay: Introducing first, from Fort Lauderdale, Florida, weighing in at 130 lbs…. , KIRSTAAAAAA LEWWWWWWISSSSSSSS!
As Kirsta stands on the stage the camera zooms in it shows her cutting herself on the arm with a blade of some kind before tossing it aside..
Benny Newell: Cocaine is a hell of a drug Hoffhole.
Joe Hoffman: Wouldn’t know Benny.
Benny Newell: And that’s why you never got invited to a Best Alliance party.
Kirsta dips the blood into her hand and smears in onto her face like war paint.
Joe Hoffman: Kirsta looking as if she is doing a ritual before she goes into war.
Benny Newell: Oh please, she has no dick sucking contest of the agenda today.
Kirsta wraps her hand tightly around the pipe and slowly raises it above her head. As Kirsta makes her way down to the ring, she circles the squared circle and taps on the steel stairs with her pipe to show that it is real and to psyche herself up. She gets into the ring where Scott Stevens yanks the lead pipe from her and throws it outside.
As Kirsta Lewis continues to get loose the arena lights begin to dim and a spotlight shines down onto the entrance ramp.
Bryan McVay: And her opponent, weighing in at 234 lbs, hailing from Los Angeles, California...SILENT WIIIIIIIIITNEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSS!!!!!!
“30/30-150” by Stone Sour slowly stirs over the sound system and the crowd rises in unison, booing loudly as Silent Witness swaggers out onto the stage.
Benny Newell: These fucking idiots don’t know talent when it dick slaps them in the face.
Standing atop the ramp, the High Octane Hero slowly pans the crowd as an "LSD Legend" graphic appears on the HOV screen behind him, smirking as the riled up fans continue to boo him; some even resorting to throwing things at the former HOW World Champion.
Joe Hoffman: Witness the former hero is now a zero to millions across the globe.
Benny Newell: I’m about to knock the cum out of you for saying that blasphemy Hoffman. This man is a legend and a Hall of Famer. It’s not his fault that the way to get his things done is to shit on everyone else.
Joe Hoffman: A better to be pissed off than pissed on kind of thing?
Benny Newell: Fucking right.
Silent Witness slowly raises his right arm, taunting the crowd, before swaggering down the ramp towards the ring. Reaching the bottom of the ramp, he goes over to a very attractive women, that has knockers the size of Texas, that has a, “Silent Witness = Next LSD & ICON champ” sign, and looks at it. He whispers something into her eat and then he begins to motorboat her boobs. The woman begins to scream with excitement as Witness just smirks and nods. He takes the woman’s sharpie and signs her chest before turning towards the ring.
Benny Newell: That a boy Witness! Slip her nipple the tongue.
Silent Witness walks to the steps, yelling abuse at the hostile crowd as he does so. Climbing the steps, he looks around once more with a disdainful smirk, before stepping between the ropes to prepare for his match.
Benny Newell: This shit is taking longer than a Michael DeNucci intro.
--Cause really I'm a psycho....--
"The Happy Song" by Poets Of The Fall hits and as David Black walks out from the backstage area dressed in his "wrestling attire", black jeans and a black sleeveless shirt with the words "I told you" printed on the front and the words "I'm a psycho" printed on the back, the crowd gives a mixed response to HOW's self-proclaimed psycho.
Bryan McVay: The following match is scheduled for one fall… First making his way to the ring from Los Angeles, California and weighing in at 235 lbs… David Black!!!
Black marches down to the ring at a brisk pace, sometimes stopping randomly to bust out a strange dance move or two, other times singing along with the lyrics to the entrance theme. As he nears the ring he starts running and slides into the ring where he busts out a few more random, wacky looking dance moves until his music dies down, and sometimes he even continues after that.
Joe Hoffman: Black harnessing his inner John Travolta.
“Roman’s Revenge” by Nicki Minaj & Eminem hits and the crowd turns rabid as they rain down the boos and cat calls begin to wail as Tara appears at the top of the ramp.
Bryan McVay: Introducing last, weighing in at 120 pounds, she hails from the City of Angels, Tara Michaels-DAVIDSON!!!!!!!!!!!!
Joe Hoffman: Tara with that visible scar on her face from her former lover and tag partner, Kirsta.
Benny Newell: Good thing about this match Hoffman is we will be seeing titties flying!
Joe Hoffman: How is that Benny when they are both wearing full body suits?
Benny Newell: If there is a will there is a way asshole! Didn’t they teach you anything in school?
Tara comes out in her nun’s outfit. As she makes her way down to the ring she has her hands together and is talking to herself as if she is in prayer. The fans let her have as the jeers intensify as she is covering the goods.
Joe Hoffman: Tara praying for our sins tonight.
Benny Newell: Good cause I just sinned ten times thinking of sticking my dick in her mouth.
A number of fans are yelling at Tara to flash them but she looks at them with a bewildered look on her face. She grabs the cross around her neck, raises her hand up high in the air and begins to pray to her God for these sinners that came here tonight. Tara climbs into the ring and begins to take her outfit off, revealing a full length bodysuit underneath. Tara takes her cross from around her neck and kisses it before placing it around the turnbuckle for safe keeping as her music fades out.
Stevens checks the competitors and calls for the bell.
DING! DING!
Joe Hoffman: And we are underway.
Benny Newell: Time for a….DRINK!
David Black and Silent Witness begin to lock up with one another and starts trading blows while Tara and Kirsta circle each other. Tara rubs the side of her cheek of the reminder that was left by her former friend and lover, Kirsta. Tara lets out a primal scream and double legs Kirsta and begins to wail on her with right hands.
Joe Hoffman: Tara not letting Kirsta forget what she did to her.
Benny Newell: If some bitch did that to me Hoffman backhands would be in order.
As the two girls are playing ground and pound, the two technicians are squaring off. Silent Witness has locked in a top wristlock. Black transitions out of that into a hammerlock. Witness reverses it with a hammerlock of his own. Black hits an elbow to the bridge of Witness’ nose that stuns the LSD Legend. Black kicks him in the gut and whips Witness over with a snap mare before locking in a reverse chinlock.
Joe Hoffman: Witness and Black putting on a clinic before us.
Benny Newell: Them titties bouncing over there is my kind of clinic.
Kirsta manages to block the onslaught of Tara’s punches by grabbing her arm and locking in a version of a triangle choke.
Joe Hoffman: Kirsta with the submission here!
Tara struggles a bit as Kirsta fights to keep it locked in. Tara moves her body around and touches the bottom rope with her feet.
Joe Hoffman: Kirsta not letting go.
Benny Newell: Do your fucking job you honkey!
Stevens makes his way over and begins the count.
1.
2.
3.
4.
Kirsta flips off Stevens and leans through the ropes for added pressure. Stevens not liking his authority challenged stomps on the stomach of the Hell Cat with that walking boot.
Joe Hoffman: The heck was that?!?!?
Benny Newell: He’s just exercising his authority as special guest referee.
Joe Hoffman: BULLCORN BENNY! BULLCORN!
Benny Newell: Language Hoffhole! This is a family show after all.
In the meantime Witness just barely missed a super kick from the psychotic David Black. As Black turns around he is met with a leg lariat. Witness picks up Black and grabs him by the waist.
Joe Hoffman: Suplex coming up.
Witness attempts a German suplex but the psycho blocks it. Black hits an elbow and spins around to the back of Witness.
Joe Hoffman: Beautiful standing switch.
Benny Newell: What’s beautiful Hoffman is the gigantic tits Witness signed earlier. Look at those puppies bounce.
Black lifts the Hall of Famer up but Witness reverses the momentum back forward and rolls. Stevens drops for the pin but Witness rolls through and locks in….
Joe Hoffman: THE SILENCER! Will Black tap?
Black tries to scramble towards the ropes and almost gets there but Witness pulls him back towards the center and sits down.
Joe Hoffman: This has to be it. Black is going to tap out.
As Stevens is checking to see if Black is going to tap, out of nowhere Tara springboards and hits Witness right in the face.
Joe Hoffman: .24 Karat Kick out of nowhere! Cover.
Stevens stumbles over the prone body of Black and begins the quickest count you have ever seen….
1.
2.
3!!!!!
No!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Only a TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! As Kirsta breaks it up.
Kirsta begins to argue with Stevens and he just ignores her. She begins to poke his chest with her index finger rapidly and he just smirks because Black has snuck up behind the former television champion and yanked her by the hair. Black locks in a dragon sleeper and….
Benny Newell: The fuck is he doing?
Joe Hoffman: He’s dancing Benny.
Benny Newell: I know that fuck tard but why?
Joe Hoffman: Why don’t you ask him.
Benny Newell: How about go fuck yourself.
After channeling his inner, “Thriller,” David Black smashes Kirsta’s face into the mat with a snap Cross Rhodes. Black shoots the half and hooks the inside leg.
1.
2.
3.….
Kirsta gets the shoulder up.
Joe Hoffman: The heck kind of counting is that?!?
Benny Newell: He’s just warming up his shoulder Hoffman. All the best guest refs have to be loose and make sure there is no problems in the count.
Black shoots daggers at Stevens as he yells two. The two begin to arguing and all of a sudden Stevens goes down and he starts screaming in pain as he holds onto his foot that is in that protective walking boot.
Joe Hoffman: Witness just whipped Tara into Stevens.
Benny Newell: The hell he do that for? You can’t win the match if you take out the ref dumbass!
As Stevens holds his leg in pain, Black and Silent Witness begin to tee off on the women of HOW. Witness whips Tara into the turnbuckle but she reverses it.
Joe Hoffman: Tara looks to cause some damage here.
Benny Newell: Maybe we will see her famous big titty splash.
Tara runs full force at Silent Witness and jumps.
Benny Newell: TIIIIIIIIITTTTTTIIIIIIIEEEEESSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Witness catches her as she jumps and drops her face first onto the top turnbuckle.
Joe Hoffman: Tara eating the hard turnbuckle.
Benny Newell: She’s use to eating hard things Hoffman.
Witness pulls Tara forward and lifts her up.
Joe Hoffman: All the blood is rushing to Tara’s head.
Benny Newell: The blood has already rushed to my head Hoffman.
Joe Hoffman: Keep it in your pants Benny.
As Silent Witness hits the Breaking Immersion, David Black drops Kirsta with the Blackout. They both cover.
Joe Hoffman: We have a cover but the ref is down.
Benny Newell: Here comes another referee!
Stevens spots the replacement referee coming down and quickly pops up and slides into the ring, desperately trying to make the count for Witness as the other referee slides into the ring to make the count for Black.
1…………..
Joe Hoffman: Who the heck is this guy?
2......................
3………………………………………….
Black and Witness both jump up celebrating. They eventually turn around and begin arguing with one another about who one. The Scorpion crawls out of the ring as the replacement referee quickly starts giving orders to Stevens who pushes him away and demands a microphone.
Scott Stevens: Give me a fucking mic asshole!
Stevens snatches the microphone from Brian McVay and pushes him out of his seat.
Joe Hoffman: Uh oh.
Benny Newell: Should’ve given him the fucking mic like he asked.
Scott Stevens: Your winner for the ICON championship title shot………….DAVID BLACK!
Witness does a Tiger Woods fist pump celebration as he finally gets his LSD title shot against Scott Stevens and David Black celebrates his ICON title shot.
Scott Stevens: And……SILENT WITNESS!
Both men throw their arms up… for different reasons of course, but both are furious with the decision.
Scott Stevens: And the winner of the LSD championship is……NO ONE!
Witness and Black begin yelling and cussing out Stevens.
Scott Stevens: Fuck you and you. Have a nice day.
Stevens throws the microphone towards Black and Witness as he takes off his walking boot and grabs his LSD championship from the time keeper as the referee is shaking his head and trying to tell Stevens differently.
Joe Hoffman: The heck was that?!?!?
Benny Newell: I don’t fucking know but Stevens just fucked Witness!
As Stevens heads up the ramp he turns once more towards the ring and gives David Black and Silent Witness the bird.
Joe Hoffman: But who is this guy in the HOW referee shirt Benny?
OOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH, DRINK, DRANK, DRUNK!
Benny Newell: Oh shit… someone’s in trouble!
Scott Woodson makes his way out on the stage with a mic in hand and starts shaking his head at Stevens.
Scott Woodson: Hold up Stevens. I don’t I gave you the power as special guest referee to make these kind of decisions… now did I? No. So here is what I am gonna do. I said this match was a two falls match… and that is what we saw in the ring. Two falls.
Scott Stevens: Damn straight we did.
Scott Woodson: Yep. And we will have both an ICON and an LSD title contender tonight!
Scott Stevens: Fuck you Scotty!
Scott Woodson: But the question is this Stevens… who will it be. Witness or Black?
Scott Stevens: Neither!
Scott Woodson: Nah… I think I will leave it up to chance….
Scotty reaches into his pocket and pulls out a quarter.
Scott Woodson: Heads it will be Black… Tails it will Witness for the LSD title….
Scotty takes the coin and just hurls it into the crowd.
Scott Woodson: TAILS!
Scott Stevens: WHAT!?
Scott Woodson: Silent Witness is your LSD number one contender!
Scotty’s music hits as he makes his way backstage as Stevens slams his mic on the ground and both Witness and Black celebrate their victories in the ring as we head to commericial.