Post by Jman2k3 on Jun 15, 2018 5:20:30 GMT
The action cuts back to ringside as "Remember the Name" by Fort Minor hits. The crowd erupts into a chorus of cheers to welcome the returning Christopher America.
Joe Hoffman: It's been six long months, but Christopher America is finally back in HOW.
Benny Newell: My favorite American and one of the best Best Alliance members of all time.
America taunts the crowd as he heads down the ramp and climbs into the ring. America waves to the crowd as he turns his attention towards the entrance ramp.
America's music fades and the audience hoots and hollers to fill the silence until….
Graystone's music hits.
America's eyes go wide. Slowly he shakes his head until he is violently shaking his head. America grabs Hortega and is screaming at him, pointing towards the ramp as Graystone makes his entrance.
Graystone stares directly at America as he enters the ring. America quickly exits the ring and goes over the announce desk.
America: He's dead!!! WE ALL SAW IT! HOW IS HE BACK!?!?!
Joe Hoffman: America is beside himself at the sight of Graystone! I---I don't know America! Go to your match!
Benny Newell: America brings up a good point. How is Graystone back? You better fucking answer him Hoffhole.
Graystone continues to stare at America when the music of the Best Alliance hits. Shane Reynolds and Scott Stevens rush down to the ring. The immediately slide into the ring and begin to double team Graystone. America looks at Shane and Scott and looks pumped up. He takes a few steps towards the ring, stops, and then backs up.
Joe Hoffman: WHAT?!?! Why isn't America helping?
Benny Newell: AHAHAHAHA! America's sticking it to Graystone! It's like America's never even left!
Hortega finally grabs Stevens and backs him up in to the corner and out of the ring. Hortega then runs and grabs Reynolds and backs him up. Hortega then goes to check on Graystone who shoves Hortega away.
Hortega finally calls for the bell as America pulls up a seat and puts on a headset next to Benny Newell.
Benny Newell: America, welcome the fuck back. Nice to see ya screwing people over.
America: I didn't think it was possible. I thought he was dead. But I know why Lee booked this match. It's a test. And one I plan to pass with flying colors.
Joe Hoffman: How can you condone leaving your partner in there?
America: How can you condone it? Why don't you fucking hop in and be Graystone's tag partner?
Inside the ring, Shane Reynolds runs and begins stomping away at Graystone. Like a man possessed, Reynolds continues pushing Graystone into the corner. Reynolds slides out of the ring, looks at America, who stands up and claps. Reynolds grabs Graystone's legs and one by one rams the knees into the steel post.
America: I love the efficiency of the Best Alliance.
Benny Newell: More than any other group?
America: I've been a part of some formidable groups: The Elite and the AoA to name a few. But let me tell you their problems. The Elite was too fucking selfish and the AoA was filled with fucking egotistical nutcases. What kind of idiots wear skin tight fucking suspenders? I'll tell you, two fucking flakes who rode my coattails to success.
Benny Newell: Ya, they were!
Inside the ring, Reynolds tags in Stevens who picks up Graystone but Graystone thrusts his arms up, breaking Stevens' hold. Graystone then begins to wail away on Stevens. Graystone backs Stevens in to the ropes and whips him across the ring. On the return, Graystone dips and hits a back body drop on Stevens.
Graystone pins.
UNO!
DOS!
KICKOUT!
Joe Hoffman: Close one there. Graystone surprisingly holding his own against two men. HINT! HINT!
America: You know a lot about holding your own with two men, why don't you give him some pointers?
Benny Newell: HAHAHA! FAG! I knew I always liked you, America!
Graystone pulls Stevens up and hoists him into a suplex. With Stevens down, Graystone backs up, bounces off the ropes and hits a dropkick straight to Stevens' face.
Graystone covers again.
UNO!
DOS!
KICKOUT!
Joe Hoffman: Another close fall.
Benny Newell: Now that I think about all the people who were in the Elite and the AoA, you were probably the best to come out of those groups. That's why Lee picked you to join the BA and run the company.
America: And that's why I'm going to pass Lee Best's test.
Joe Hoffman: What if Lee is testing to see if you can work with Graystone?
America: Fuck you. I'm a fucking Hall of Famer. I'm so fucking good at what I do that I went in ALONE. No one else in this federation was good enough to go in with me!
Joe Hoffman: Concerning Graystone, do you now believe he is alive?
America: No, I fucking don't. That's clearly an imposter or I'm watching Shane Reynolds and Scott Stevens wrestle a fucking illusion. And believe me, I've seen that shit in Japan. It was a fucking trip.
Back in the ring, Graystone whips Stevens across the ring and telegraphs his body drop early. Stevens sees it, back flips over Graystone, bounces off the ropes and clotheslines Graystone in the back of the head.
Stevens then lunges and tags in Reynolds. Reynolds comes in and charges but Graystone immediately hits a spinebuster. He then rushes over and clocks Stevens in the side of the face. Stevens goes flying off the apron. Graystone then walks over and grabs Shane Reynolds' body. He drags it towards the ropes. Graystone then positions himself.
America: Excuse me.
America rushes the ring, slides in and checks on Shane Reynolds. Hortega sees America in the ring and immediately begins shoving him towards his corner. During the shoving, America hits the ropes. Graystone falls and is low-blown on the turnbuckles. He falls as Shane begins to stir. Reynolds gets up and picks up Graystone, Reynolds spins Graystone around and…..
Joe Hoffman: ORIGINAL SIN!
Reynolds goes for the cover as America drops off the apron and begins walking to the back.
Reynolds goes for the cover.
UNO!
DOS!
TRES!
Brian McVay: Here are your winners…. Scott Stevens and Shane Reynolds…. THE BESSSSSST ALLIANNNNNNNNNCCCCCCEEEE!
Joe Hoffman: The Best Alliance pick up the win in a blatant handicap match.
Benny Newell: Graystone, both as an illusion and as a real person, is still a disappointment and America deserves better. You think wrestling all those dead people would've improved his skill.
Joe Hoffman: AMERICA LEFT HIM STRANDED!
Benny Newell: STOP FUCKING SHOUTING!
Joe Hoffman: Well, still to come folks, Professor Keller will wrestle his second match. STILL TO COME!
Following the match the scene cuts backstage where the camera is focussed and aimed at a wooden door with the words “God of HOW Lee Best” written on it. Muffled voices can be heard coming from within the office but soon the door is being opened. Out step Best Alliance members Rhys Townsend and the Icon champion, John Sektor. Both are booted and ready for the upcoming main event.
Sektor closes the door and he and Rhys turn to one another.
John Sektor: Well...that was interesting.
Rhys Townsend: Indeed. It seems this War with those has been fucks is going to be a long one, as these things always are. Still...we’ve been here before. We know what to do.
John Sektor: That we do. I gotta say though, I think having Mario back is a big boost for us. Now I know you’re a bit lukewarm when it comes to him..
He says this, gesturing with his hands for Rhys to remain calm.
John Sektor: But I’ve known the guy many years and I have nothing but love for the guy. If there’s one thing for sure that I know about him, its that he’s a team player. His background is tag team wrestling and he’s at his strongest when he’s working alongside somebody. It’s a smart move by Lee and if anyone can get something out of this DICK guy then its Mario. Because I’ll be honest here I have my own reservations about that guy.
Rhys Townsend: Yeah...but when God says that we’ve gotta back the guy up, then we back him up. That is how the Best Alliance works - we both know it. And, John, if I’m perfectly honest, then my worry? It’s not about Maurako - I know the guy can handle himself in the ring, especially when he’s got a partner - it’s his partner that I’m worried about. I mean...do you remember the last Fury we had in the Best Alliance? Showed promise and then...then, nothing. But this, for him? This is his chance - he can either survive, he can thrive, he can embrace the Best Alliance and become something - or he can die. Right?
Sektor laughs a little.
John Sektor: Right! Plus Stevens will be happy now that he’s not the most pathetic member any more right?
Rhys Townsend: Exactly! I mean, it’s a shame Keller’s not here anymore - he’d fit that role perfectly. Professional wrestling is all about recycling a teacher gimmick that couldn’t even get over in the early 90’s, right?
John Sektor: Precisely! There is a man who claims the be the pinnacle of intellect around here. Yet he’s too dumb to realise that if the main event at Iconic was left with just him and Black one on one..that it would flop harder than Darkwings dick on Carey’s Black, Jewish, Polak face! I mean not only do I deserve to be in that match, but I am the logical solution to making it a success. Right?
Townsend chuckles, pulling out and sparking up a spliff that’s, well, a little shorter than usual.
He does have a match to wrestle shortly, after all.
Rhys Townsend: Exactly, my man, exactly. It’s the ICONIC Main Event - It’s the World Championship, yet...did anyone care about that match before last week? No. It’s Keller, who’s walking around as if he’s 15, Lee Best was his first ever girlfriend and he got dumped before he could even get a handjob, and David Black, who, well...I don’t think he could even hold your attention if he had you strapped to a chair whilst injecting speed directly into your veins. Putting you in there was, well...quite frankly, it was what’s best for business - the only thing Lee could do. And we both know you’ll walk out of there with that Championship where it belongs - over that shoulder of yours, no?
John Sektor: Right!
Sektor pauses for a moment, looking at the spliff in Townsends hand.
John Sektor: You err, gonna pass that doobie or what?
Townsend gives a reluctant look, with an even more reluctant smile before passing the pre match sized joint over to his tag team partner. Sektor takes it with a broad smile and takes a hit, exhaling it up towards the ceiling.
John Sektor: Ahhh. That’s beautiful. But anyway, don’t even get me started on that walking fart, David Black. I slept through his first World title reign and now I’m having to suffer another. I mean, it may only have been less than two months since he won it and sure..he hasn’t defended it a single fucking time yet..but I know I’m ready for a change of champion. That’s what this company needs to carry it forward into the new year. It needs ME! Just look at all the great things I have done for this..
He says pointing at his Icon title with the spliff, which provokes a nervous reaction from Rhys.
John Sektor: I’ve made this title credible again after Stevens nearly buried it. I’ve elevated it to such a level that it now deserves to be showcased in the main event alongside the World title. I mean thats BIG, man. So yes, HOW deserves me to be its champion because David Black is killing it. And he better not even THINK, about trying to get cute in this main event tonight. Give the guy a World title and he thinks he’s Mohammed Ali. Give him a referee shirt and who knows where the fuck his sociopathic ego will take him. Am I right Rhys? Am I right?
He takes a final drag of the joint before extending it back to Rhys.
Rhys Townsend: Thank you, sir. And yeah, you’re pretty much bang on. It’s like Evan Ward, carrying on preaching that Ground Zero bullshit after we’ve buried it - though I’m pretty sure I put an end to that earlier tonight. Nah, John...we’re set up perfectly. I’ll finish the job on Ward - I’ll drag him down to the same level that everyone else is on, because I’m the only man who can do that. Then, after that, you - you will become a three time HOW World Champion...and you know that if you want a hand in that main event, if you want someone to...y’know. Even the odds, should they be stupid enough to decide to team up on you, you know who to ask, who to call out, right?
Sektor flickers his eyes from one side to the other.
John Sektor: Bob Jared?
Rhys Townsend: Nah...I mean, if it was Bob Jared’s Chest Hair...maybe…
Sektor lets out a deep bellied laugh.
John Sektor: But yeah, man. I know who to call on..
With that he throws a loose hand in the air.
Rhys Townsend: Me. Yeah. Second most Efficient man in High Octane Wrestling. Good call. Now...John, I know we’re being the most entertaining pairing that High Octane Wrestling has seen in, well….ever, but don’t we have a match to go and win? I mean, I’m pretty fucking sure that the douchebags in the production truck have one of our many charisma filled commercials all cued up, so...shall we?
Townsend gestures down the corridor, realising that his spliff is pretty much dead. There’s a brief look of annoyance, before there’s another one in his hand, lit up - the same size as the last one, naturally. It’s like magic. Sektor looks at it, and there’s a toke - singular, before he passes, and, again - before we quite realise what has happened, Townsend has another spliff - solely for him, in his hand, and lit. Before we can decipher the Secrets of the Hidden Spliff, we fade out and go to commercial.
Joe Hoffman: It's been six long months, but Christopher America is finally back in HOW.
Benny Newell: My favorite American and one of the best Best Alliance members of all time.
America taunts the crowd as he heads down the ramp and climbs into the ring. America waves to the crowd as he turns his attention towards the entrance ramp.
America's music fades and the audience hoots and hollers to fill the silence until….
Graystone's music hits.
America's eyes go wide. Slowly he shakes his head until he is violently shaking his head. America grabs Hortega and is screaming at him, pointing towards the ramp as Graystone makes his entrance.
Graystone stares directly at America as he enters the ring. America quickly exits the ring and goes over the announce desk.
America: He's dead!!! WE ALL SAW IT! HOW IS HE BACK!?!?!
Joe Hoffman: America is beside himself at the sight of Graystone! I---I don't know America! Go to your match!
Benny Newell: America brings up a good point. How is Graystone back? You better fucking answer him Hoffhole.
Graystone continues to stare at America when the music of the Best Alliance hits. Shane Reynolds and Scott Stevens rush down to the ring. The immediately slide into the ring and begin to double team Graystone. America looks at Shane and Scott and looks pumped up. He takes a few steps towards the ring, stops, and then backs up.
Joe Hoffman: WHAT?!?! Why isn't America helping?
Benny Newell: AHAHAHAHA! America's sticking it to Graystone! It's like America's never even left!
Hortega finally grabs Stevens and backs him up in to the corner and out of the ring. Hortega then runs and grabs Reynolds and backs him up. Hortega then goes to check on Graystone who shoves Hortega away.
Hortega finally calls for the bell as America pulls up a seat and puts on a headset next to Benny Newell.
Benny Newell: America, welcome the fuck back. Nice to see ya screwing people over.
America: I didn't think it was possible. I thought he was dead. But I know why Lee booked this match. It's a test. And one I plan to pass with flying colors.
Joe Hoffman: How can you condone leaving your partner in there?
America: How can you condone it? Why don't you fucking hop in and be Graystone's tag partner?
Inside the ring, Shane Reynolds runs and begins stomping away at Graystone. Like a man possessed, Reynolds continues pushing Graystone into the corner. Reynolds slides out of the ring, looks at America, who stands up and claps. Reynolds grabs Graystone's legs and one by one rams the knees into the steel post.
America: I love the efficiency of the Best Alliance.
Benny Newell: More than any other group?
America: I've been a part of some formidable groups: The Elite and the AoA to name a few. But let me tell you their problems. The Elite was too fucking selfish and the AoA was filled with fucking egotistical nutcases. What kind of idiots wear skin tight fucking suspenders? I'll tell you, two fucking flakes who rode my coattails to success.
Benny Newell: Ya, they were!
Inside the ring, Reynolds tags in Stevens who picks up Graystone but Graystone thrusts his arms up, breaking Stevens' hold. Graystone then begins to wail away on Stevens. Graystone backs Stevens in to the ropes and whips him across the ring. On the return, Graystone dips and hits a back body drop on Stevens.
Graystone pins.
UNO!
DOS!
KICKOUT!
Joe Hoffman: Close one there. Graystone surprisingly holding his own against two men. HINT! HINT!
America: You know a lot about holding your own with two men, why don't you give him some pointers?
Benny Newell: HAHAHA! FAG! I knew I always liked you, America!
Graystone pulls Stevens up and hoists him into a suplex. With Stevens down, Graystone backs up, bounces off the ropes and hits a dropkick straight to Stevens' face.
Graystone covers again.
UNO!
DOS!
KICKOUT!
Joe Hoffman: Another close fall.
Benny Newell: Now that I think about all the people who were in the Elite and the AoA, you were probably the best to come out of those groups. That's why Lee picked you to join the BA and run the company.
America: And that's why I'm going to pass Lee Best's test.
Joe Hoffman: What if Lee is testing to see if you can work with Graystone?
America: Fuck you. I'm a fucking Hall of Famer. I'm so fucking good at what I do that I went in ALONE. No one else in this federation was good enough to go in with me!
Joe Hoffman: Concerning Graystone, do you now believe he is alive?
America: No, I fucking don't. That's clearly an imposter or I'm watching Shane Reynolds and Scott Stevens wrestle a fucking illusion. And believe me, I've seen that shit in Japan. It was a fucking trip.
Back in the ring, Graystone whips Stevens across the ring and telegraphs his body drop early. Stevens sees it, back flips over Graystone, bounces off the ropes and clotheslines Graystone in the back of the head.
Stevens then lunges and tags in Reynolds. Reynolds comes in and charges but Graystone immediately hits a spinebuster. He then rushes over and clocks Stevens in the side of the face. Stevens goes flying off the apron. Graystone then walks over and grabs Shane Reynolds' body. He drags it towards the ropes. Graystone then positions himself.
America: Excuse me.
America rushes the ring, slides in and checks on Shane Reynolds. Hortega sees America in the ring and immediately begins shoving him towards his corner. During the shoving, America hits the ropes. Graystone falls and is low-blown on the turnbuckles. He falls as Shane begins to stir. Reynolds gets up and picks up Graystone, Reynolds spins Graystone around and…..
Joe Hoffman: ORIGINAL SIN!
Reynolds goes for the cover as America drops off the apron and begins walking to the back.
Reynolds goes for the cover.
UNO!
DOS!
TRES!
Brian McVay: Here are your winners…. Scott Stevens and Shane Reynolds…. THE BESSSSSST ALLIANNNNNNNNNCCCCCCEEEE!
Joe Hoffman: The Best Alliance pick up the win in a blatant handicap match.
Benny Newell: Graystone, both as an illusion and as a real person, is still a disappointment and America deserves better. You think wrestling all those dead people would've improved his skill.
Joe Hoffman: AMERICA LEFT HIM STRANDED!
Benny Newell: STOP FUCKING SHOUTING!
Joe Hoffman: Well, still to come folks, Professor Keller will wrestle his second match. STILL TO COME!
Following the match the scene cuts backstage where the camera is focussed and aimed at a wooden door with the words “God of HOW Lee Best” written on it. Muffled voices can be heard coming from within the office but soon the door is being opened. Out step Best Alliance members Rhys Townsend and the Icon champion, John Sektor. Both are booted and ready for the upcoming main event.
Sektor closes the door and he and Rhys turn to one another.
John Sektor: Well...that was interesting.
Rhys Townsend: Indeed. It seems this War with those has been fucks is going to be a long one, as these things always are. Still...we’ve been here before. We know what to do.
John Sektor: That we do. I gotta say though, I think having Mario back is a big boost for us. Now I know you’re a bit lukewarm when it comes to him..
He says this, gesturing with his hands for Rhys to remain calm.
John Sektor: But I’ve known the guy many years and I have nothing but love for the guy. If there’s one thing for sure that I know about him, its that he’s a team player. His background is tag team wrestling and he’s at his strongest when he’s working alongside somebody. It’s a smart move by Lee and if anyone can get something out of this DICK guy then its Mario. Because I’ll be honest here I have my own reservations about that guy.
Rhys Townsend: Yeah...but when God says that we’ve gotta back the guy up, then we back him up. That is how the Best Alliance works - we both know it. And, John, if I’m perfectly honest, then my worry? It’s not about Maurako - I know the guy can handle himself in the ring, especially when he’s got a partner - it’s his partner that I’m worried about. I mean...do you remember the last Fury we had in the Best Alliance? Showed promise and then...then, nothing. But this, for him? This is his chance - he can either survive, he can thrive, he can embrace the Best Alliance and become something - or he can die. Right?
Sektor laughs a little.
John Sektor: Right! Plus Stevens will be happy now that he’s not the most pathetic member any more right?
Rhys Townsend: Exactly! I mean, it’s a shame Keller’s not here anymore - he’d fit that role perfectly. Professional wrestling is all about recycling a teacher gimmick that couldn’t even get over in the early 90’s, right?
John Sektor: Precisely! There is a man who claims the be the pinnacle of intellect around here. Yet he’s too dumb to realise that if the main event at Iconic was left with just him and Black one on one..that it would flop harder than Darkwings dick on Carey’s Black, Jewish, Polak face! I mean not only do I deserve to be in that match, but I am the logical solution to making it a success. Right?
Townsend chuckles, pulling out and sparking up a spliff that’s, well, a little shorter than usual.
He does have a match to wrestle shortly, after all.
Rhys Townsend: Exactly, my man, exactly. It’s the ICONIC Main Event - It’s the World Championship, yet...did anyone care about that match before last week? No. It’s Keller, who’s walking around as if he’s 15, Lee Best was his first ever girlfriend and he got dumped before he could even get a handjob, and David Black, who, well...I don’t think he could even hold your attention if he had you strapped to a chair whilst injecting speed directly into your veins. Putting you in there was, well...quite frankly, it was what’s best for business - the only thing Lee could do. And we both know you’ll walk out of there with that Championship where it belongs - over that shoulder of yours, no?
John Sektor: Right!
Sektor pauses for a moment, looking at the spliff in Townsends hand.
John Sektor: You err, gonna pass that doobie or what?
Townsend gives a reluctant look, with an even more reluctant smile before passing the pre match sized joint over to his tag team partner. Sektor takes it with a broad smile and takes a hit, exhaling it up towards the ceiling.
John Sektor: Ahhh. That’s beautiful. But anyway, don’t even get me started on that walking fart, David Black. I slept through his first World title reign and now I’m having to suffer another. I mean, it may only have been less than two months since he won it and sure..he hasn’t defended it a single fucking time yet..but I know I’m ready for a change of champion. That’s what this company needs to carry it forward into the new year. It needs ME! Just look at all the great things I have done for this..
He says pointing at his Icon title with the spliff, which provokes a nervous reaction from Rhys.
John Sektor: I’ve made this title credible again after Stevens nearly buried it. I’ve elevated it to such a level that it now deserves to be showcased in the main event alongside the World title. I mean thats BIG, man. So yes, HOW deserves me to be its champion because David Black is killing it. And he better not even THINK, about trying to get cute in this main event tonight. Give the guy a World title and he thinks he’s Mohammed Ali. Give him a referee shirt and who knows where the fuck his sociopathic ego will take him. Am I right Rhys? Am I right?
He takes a final drag of the joint before extending it back to Rhys.
Rhys Townsend: Thank you, sir. And yeah, you’re pretty much bang on. It’s like Evan Ward, carrying on preaching that Ground Zero bullshit after we’ve buried it - though I’m pretty sure I put an end to that earlier tonight. Nah, John...we’re set up perfectly. I’ll finish the job on Ward - I’ll drag him down to the same level that everyone else is on, because I’m the only man who can do that. Then, after that, you - you will become a three time HOW World Champion...and you know that if you want a hand in that main event, if you want someone to...y’know. Even the odds, should they be stupid enough to decide to team up on you, you know who to ask, who to call out, right?
Sektor flickers his eyes from one side to the other.
John Sektor: Bob Jared?
Rhys Townsend: Nah...I mean, if it was Bob Jared’s Chest Hair...maybe…
Sektor lets out a deep bellied laugh.
John Sektor: But yeah, man. I know who to call on..
With that he throws a loose hand in the air.
Rhys Townsend: Me. Yeah. Second most Efficient man in High Octane Wrestling. Good call. Now...John, I know we’re being the most entertaining pairing that High Octane Wrestling has seen in, well….ever, but don’t we have a match to go and win? I mean, I’m pretty fucking sure that the douchebags in the production truck have one of our many charisma filled commercials all cued up, so...shall we?
Townsend gestures down the corridor, realising that his spliff is pretty much dead. There’s a brief look of annoyance, before there’s another one in his hand, lit up - the same size as the last one, naturally. It’s like magic. Sektor looks at it, and there’s a toke - singular, before he passes, and, again - before we quite realise what has happened, Townsend has another spliff - solely for him, in his hand, and lit. Before we can decipher the Secrets of the Hidden Spliff, we fade out and go to commercial.