Post by Jman2k3 on Jun 11, 2018 18:16:04 GMT
Joe Hoffman: Folks, this next match up is going to be turning a lot of heads. Don't let the spot on tonight's show fool you.
Benny Newell: You want to talk about a fool? Fine. Talk about that douchebag Scottywood Stevens or whatever the fuck his name is. Tell him to drop out of Pure, or Virtuous…
Joe Hoffman: TRUE.
Benny Newell: What-the-fuck-ever. And tell him to drop out of Lame Pussy Wrestling and sign on to HOW full time. Bigger money, more glory, less Fisher Price's "My First World Championship."
Joe Hoffman: Well, Scott Stevens is the only wrestler who is signed exclusively to all three of the federations that are signed on with Best Studios. Tonight, he'll have a tall order as he faces Jace Parker Davidson for a shot at the Television Title.
Benny Newell: I should be in this match. A chance to wrestle Kirsta. Man, I'd be fighting with all the fucking strength in the world to c-slap her and just feel her thrust her hips on me. And then we'd be rolling…..
Joe Hoffman: And with both men currently in the ring, Hortega is ready.
Hortega calls for the bell and both men meet in the ring. Jace and Stevens go to a stand still, with men pushing off. Both men look at each other and then run to the ropes. Both men bounce off and try to shoulder block each other. Both men connect and bounce off. Both men attempt the same thing again from the other ropes, hit and bounce off again.
Joe Hoffman: Both men evenly matched in the early going.
Jace and Stevens circle. Jace tries a different tactic and charges Stevens. Stevens swings wildly to counter but Jace ducks behind, wraps his arms around Stevens waist, pulls back and hits a German suplex. Stevens holds his neck as Jace shoves him down and pins.
UNO!
NO!
Stevens kicks out. Jace pulls himself off and grabs Stevens' head. He picks him up and hit s a couple punches to the face, backing Stevens into the ropes. He whips Stevens across the ring. Jace charges. On Stevens' return, Jace drives his knee into Stevens' gut. Stevens flips and Jace again covers.
UNO
DO--
NO!
Joe Hoffman: Jace doing everything to put Stevens away quickly. He wants his TV Title back.
Benny Newell: You have man boobs.
Joe Hoffman: What the hell does that have to do with anything?
Benny Newell: I don't know. I just noticed that you are getting a little pudgy. Do you have a fucking muffin top?
Joe Hoffman rearranges his suit jacket and turns back to the match.
Jace immediately flips Stevens over grabs him and places him in a Camel Clutch.
Stevens screams but he is close enough to the ropes that he is able to rotate around and let his foot drape under the bottom rope. Hortega begins counting and Jace lets go at 4. Stevens rolls out of the ring.
Joe Hoffman: Wise move.
Benny Newell: Coward.
Jace taunts the crowd who boos him wildly.
Stevens is slow to get up. Jace measures Stevens, runs to the ropes and goes for a suicide dive through the ropes and…..
Joe Hoffman: OH MY GOD!
Crowd: HO-LY SHIT! HO-LY SHIT! HO-LY SHIT!
Seeing Jace coming, Stevens caught Jace, wrapping his arm around Jace's neck and falling backwards, allowing Jace's own momentum against him, performing a DDT on the outside.
Stevens gets up and begins shaking his head, getting the cobwebs out. He climbs into the ring and motions at Jace.
Hortega gets to OCHO before Jace gets back in the ring. Stevens, using the time to recover, begins to stomp away at Jace's body. Jace seems out of it, with the DDT to the outside having taken him out.
Stevens goes over and pulls Jace up. He places Jace's head between his legs, hoists him up and drops him right on his head with a piledriver.
Stevens goes for the cover.
UNO
DOS
TRE---
NO!
Joe Hoffman: That's gotta be instinct!
Benny Newell: No it isn't. The body would be staying down if it was instinct, it'd be saying, "I'm a douchebag and should be put to fucking sleep." I still can't believe this guy boned Tara!
Jace is rolling away from Stevens but Stevens stays on the offensive. He grabs Jace's legs and ties them in a knot.
Joe Hoffman: Arachnophobia! Stevens has him!
Jace screams and begins clawing at the canvas, trying to get towards the ropes. Stevens pulls hard and Jace claws. He screams, "No!" at Hortega. Jace pushes himself up and begins pulling towards the ropes. He gets close, reaches out and grabs the bottom rope.
Jace hangs on as Stevens tries to pull. Jace hangs on harder, placing a second hand on the rope. Hortega struggles to break Stevens away and counts to QUATRO before Stevens breaks the hold. Jace is holding his legs. He begins crawling towards the turnbuckle. Stevens stalks him and grabs him by his hair. He pulls Jace up and swings at him. He connects with Jace's jaw and Jace goes down. Stevens repeats the action a second time. On the third time, he swings but Jace ducks, leaps, and hits a backstabber.
Both men go down.
Joe Hoffman: What a match, it seems like neither man can put the other away.
Benny Newell: Kirsta could put both of these guys away. I've seen her handle multiple men at once. What a sight to behold!
Jace slowly crawls over to Stevens and drapes an arm.
UNO
DOS
TRES!
NO!
Stevens barely kicks out.
Stevens rolls over, trying to get up. Jace is up first. He goes over to the turnbuckle and gets to the second rope. He motions for Stevens who is getting up himself. When Stevens gets up, Jace leaps and hits a thunderous Tornado DDT.
He covers.
UNO
DOS
TRE---
NO!
Jace is furious as he looks at Hortega and slaps his hands. He goes over to the turnbuckle and signals for the end. He goes up to the top rope and flips off Stevens. He leaps.
Joe Hoffman: THE AWAKENING!
But Jace doesn't connect. Stevens rolls out of the way at the last second. Like a sneaky rat, Stevens scurries over and goes for a pinning combination on Jace.
Hortega counts.
UNO
Stevens can feel Jace prepping to kick out.
DOS
Stevens quickly puts his feet on the ropes.
TRES!
Stevens gets up to celebrate but Hortega waves it off, telling him that he saw his feet on the ropes.
Stevens is irate. Jace sneaks behind him and rolls him up.
UNO
DOS
TRE---
NO!
Stevens kicks out!
Jace goes over and wraps his arms through Stevens' arms.
Joe Hoffman: ASCENDED SLUMBER! IT'S ALL OVER!
Benny Newell: MAKE HIM TAP! MAKE THAT DOUCHEBAG TAPPITY TAP TAP! MAKE HIM TAP LIKE I WOULD TAP KIRSTA'S ASS!
Joe Hoffman: That makes absolutely no sense!
Stevens is screaming in pain. He's thrashing about wildly. He is rocking back and forth, but Jace refuses to break the hold. Stevens continues to rock and eventually rolls over but Jace STILL has the hold locked in.
Hortega is asking Stevens but he refuses to give.
Jace wrenches in the hold harder and Stevens hold his hand out.
UNO
Stevens' hand is shaking.
DOS
Stevens hand begins to lower.
TRES
STEVENS TAPS!
Benny Newell: HAH! THAT FUCKER GOT HIM! SUCK IT STEVENS!
Joe Hoffman: No, I think it's a draw!
Benny Newell: A DRAW?!?! A FUCKING DRAW?!?! No. We don't end shit here on a fucking draw.
Hortega talks to McVay who announces the winner.
Brian McVay: THE WINNER OF THIS MATCH AND THE NEW NUMBER ONE CONTENDER FOR THE TELEVISION CHAMPIONSHIP……..
"THE SCORPION" SCOTT STEEEVENNNNNSSSSS!
The crowd offers a mixed reaction, half boos for his cheating, half cheers for the greatness of the match, and Jace begins to argue but Hortega begins telling him in Spanish that his hand hit the mat before Stevens' hand did.
Stevens walks up the ramp taunting the crowd as Jace scowls at him and then kicks the ropes in frustration.
Benny Newell: You want to talk about a fool? Fine. Talk about that douchebag Scottywood Stevens or whatever the fuck his name is. Tell him to drop out of Pure, or Virtuous…
Joe Hoffman: TRUE.
Benny Newell: What-the-fuck-ever. And tell him to drop out of Lame Pussy Wrestling and sign on to HOW full time. Bigger money, more glory, less Fisher Price's "My First World Championship."
Joe Hoffman: Well, Scott Stevens is the only wrestler who is signed exclusively to all three of the federations that are signed on with Best Studios. Tonight, he'll have a tall order as he faces Jace Parker Davidson for a shot at the Television Title.
Benny Newell: I should be in this match. A chance to wrestle Kirsta. Man, I'd be fighting with all the fucking strength in the world to c-slap her and just feel her thrust her hips on me. And then we'd be rolling…..
Joe Hoffman: And with both men currently in the ring, Hortega is ready.
Hortega calls for the bell and both men meet in the ring. Jace and Stevens go to a stand still, with men pushing off. Both men look at each other and then run to the ropes. Both men bounce off and try to shoulder block each other. Both men connect and bounce off. Both men attempt the same thing again from the other ropes, hit and bounce off again.
Joe Hoffman: Both men evenly matched in the early going.
Jace and Stevens circle. Jace tries a different tactic and charges Stevens. Stevens swings wildly to counter but Jace ducks behind, wraps his arms around Stevens waist, pulls back and hits a German suplex. Stevens holds his neck as Jace shoves him down and pins.
UNO!
NO!
Stevens kicks out. Jace pulls himself off and grabs Stevens' head. He picks him up and hit s a couple punches to the face, backing Stevens into the ropes. He whips Stevens across the ring. Jace charges. On Stevens' return, Jace drives his knee into Stevens' gut. Stevens flips and Jace again covers.
UNO
DO--
NO!
Joe Hoffman: Jace doing everything to put Stevens away quickly. He wants his TV Title back.
Benny Newell: You have man boobs.
Joe Hoffman: What the hell does that have to do with anything?
Benny Newell: I don't know. I just noticed that you are getting a little pudgy. Do you have a fucking muffin top?
Joe Hoffman rearranges his suit jacket and turns back to the match.
Jace immediately flips Stevens over grabs him and places him in a Camel Clutch.
Stevens screams but he is close enough to the ropes that he is able to rotate around and let his foot drape under the bottom rope. Hortega begins counting and Jace lets go at 4. Stevens rolls out of the ring.
Joe Hoffman: Wise move.
Benny Newell: Coward.
Jace taunts the crowd who boos him wildly.
Stevens is slow to get up. Jace measures Stevens, runs to the ropes and goes for a suicide dive through the ropes and…..
Joe Hoffman: OH MY GOD!
Crowd: HO-LY SHIT! HO-LY SHIT! HO-LY SHIT!
Seeing Jace coming, Stevens caught Jace, wrapping his arm around Jace's neck and falling backwards, allowing Jace's own momentum against him, performing a DDT on the outside.
Stevens gets up and begins shaking his head, getting the cobwebs out. He climbs into the ring and motions at Jace.
Hortega gets to OCHO before Jace gets back in the ring. Stevens, using the time to recover, begins to stomp away at Jace's body. Jace seems out of it, with the DDT to the outside having taken him out.
Stevens goes over and pulls Jace up. He places Jace's head between his legs, hoists him up and drops him right on his head with a piledriver.
Stevens goes for the cover.
UNO
DOS
TRE---
NO!
Joe Hoffman: That's gotta be instinct!
Benny Newell: No it isn't. The body would be staying down if it was instinct, it'd be saying, "I'm a douchebag and should be put to fucking sleep." I still can't believe this guy boned Tara!
Jace is rolling away from Stevens but Stevens stays on the offensive. He grabs Jace's legs and ties them in a knot.
Joe Hoffman: Arachnophobia! Stevens has him!
Jace screams and begins clawing at the canvas, trying to get towards the ropes. Stevens pulls hard and Jace claws. He screams, "No!" at Hortega. Jace pushes himself up and begins pulling towards the ropes. He gets close, reaches out and grabs the bottom rope.
Jace hangs on as Stevens tries to pull. Jace hangs on harder, placing a second hand on the rope. Hortega struggles to break Stevens away and counts to QUATRO before Stevens breaks the hold. Jace is holding his legs. He begins crawling towards the turnbuckle. Stevens stalks him and grabs him by his hair. He pulls Jace up and swings at him. He connects with Jace's jaw and Jace goes down. Stevens repeats the action a second time. On the third time, he swings but Jace ducks, leaps, and hits a backstabber.
Both men go down.
Joe Hoffman: What a match, it seems like neither man can put the other away.
Benny Newell: Kirsta could put both of these guys away. I've seen her handle multiple men at once. What a sight to behold!
Jace slowly crawls over to Stevens and drapes an arm.
UNO
DOS
TRES!
NO!
Stevens barely kicks out.
Stevens rolls over, trying to get up. Jace is up first. He goes over to the turnbuckle and gets to the second rope. He motions for Stevens who is getting up himself. When Stevens gets up, Jace leaps and hits a thunderous Tornado DDT.
He covers.
UNO
DOS
TRE---
NO!
Jace is furious as he looks at Hortega and slaps his hands. He goes over to the turnbuckle and signals for the end. He goes up to the top rope and flips off Stevens. He leaps.
Joe Hoffman: THE AWAKENING!
But Jace doesn't connect. Stevens rolls out of the way at the last second. Like a sneaky rat, Stevens scurries over and goes for a pinning combination on Jace.
Hortega counts.
UNO
Stevens can feel Jace prepping to kick out.
DOS
Stevens quickly puts his feet on the ropes.
TRES!
Stevens gets up to celebrate but Hortega waves it off, telling him that he saw his feet on the ropes.
Stevens is irate. Jace sneaks behind him and rolls him up.
UNO
DOS
TRE---
NO!
Stevens kicks out!
Jace goes over and wraps his arms through Stevens' arms.
Joe Hoffman: ASCENDED SLUMBER! IT'S ALL OVER!
Benny Newell: MAKE HIM TAP! MAKE THAT DOUCHEBAG TAPPITY TAP TAP! MAKE HIM TAP LIKE I WOULD TAP KIRSTA'S ASS!
Joe Hoffman: That makes absolutely no sense!
Stevens is screaming in pain. He's thrashing about wildly. He is rocking back and forth, but Jace refuses to break the hold. Stevens continues to rock and eventually rolls over but Jace STILL has the hold locked in.
Hortega is asking Stevens but he refuses to give.
Jace wrenches in the hold harder and Stevens hold his hand out.
UNO
Stevens' hand is shaking.
DOS
Stevens hand begins to lower.
TRES
STEVENS TAPS!
Benny Newell: HAH! THAT FUCKER GOT HIM! SUCK IT STEVENS!
Joe Hoffman: No, I think it's a draw!
Benny Newell: A DRAW?!?! A FUCKING DRAW?!?! No. We don't end shit here on a fucking draw.
Hortega talks to McVay who announces the winner.
Brian McVay: THE WINNER OF THIS MATCH AND THE NEW NUMBER ONE CONTENDER FOR THE TELEVISION CHAMPIONSHIP……..
"THE SCORPION" SCOTT STEEEVENNNNNSSSSS!
The crowd offers a mixed reaction, half boos for his cheating, half cheers for the greatness of the match, and Jace begins to argue but Hortega begins telling him in Spanish that his hand hit the mat before Stevens' hand did.
Stevens walks up the ramp taunting the crowd as Jace scowls at him and then kicks the ropes in frustration.