Post by Jman2k3 on Jun 10, 2018 2:07:37 GMT
Joe Hoffman: Ladies and gentlemen, a week and a half ago, Scott Stevens stunned everyone when he turned on then HOW World Champion Ray McAvay and cost him the title. Then this happened…
(HOW #376- End of Show)
Stevens starts attack McAvay with the chair.
Scott Stevens: You attack me! After all I did for you!
Stevens continues to attack McAvay with the chair before tossing it to the mat next to him.
Stevens kneels down and grabs McAvay by his hair and pulls him up.
Scott Stevens: I told you there was only going to be one world champion and that would be me, and after what you did to me tonight I have no problem doing this!
Stevens shouts as he places McAvay between his legs and delivers a piledriver onto the chair. Stevens looks down at McAvay with an expressionless face before grabbing the former champion and piledriving him a second time onto the chair.
Stevens slides out of the ring and reaches the ramp and surveys the damage while EMTs and HOW doctors rush to check on McAvay as the crowd chants……
Crowd: One more time! One more time! One more time!
Joe Hoffman: Finally help for McAvay……the hell?!?!?!?
Stevens rushes into the ring and begins to unload rights onto the face of Tin Cup before placing him between his legs and delivering another ring shaken piledriver onto the steel chair.
Stevens rolls out of the ring as HOW building security and officials back Stevens out of the ring and up the ramp until the Texan isn’t seen again.
Joe Hoffman: McAvay is hurt. Who knows what kind of injuries Stevens make have caused him.
The EMTs and doctors are finally able to tend to McAvay and get him strapped onto the stretcher.
Benny Newell: McAvay brought this upon himself for being an ungrateful friend. Maybe he’ll learn from this lesson.
The EMTs roll McAvay up the ramp and once the reach the top Stevens reappears from the back and begins attacking McAvay.
Stevens quits punching McAvay long enough for him to grab the stretcher and send his fellow Texan off of the stage and onto the cold, hard, and unrelenting concrete floor below.
The medical officials rush to McAvay while HOW building security, the Elite Protection Unit, referees and other wrestlers come out from the back to stop Stevens.
Joe Hoffman: In the days following Stevens’s vicious attack, both he, Ray, and Ray’s wife Dawn McGill have engaged in a bitter war of words over what happened.
(Missouri Valley Wrestling House Show- St. Louis, MO)
Dawn McGill: I wish I could say that I was shocked and stunned when Scott Stevens did what he did last night. But let’s face it, for all the Texas bravado that you’d hope would arm Scott Stevens with a little common sense, the fact is Stevens is afflicted with the silly ‘x’ chromosome that causes him to do really stupid things. Like turning on the man who basically won him War Games.
(Scott Stevens’s Interview with Glenn Michaels)
Scott Stevens: HA! Trust me when I tell you Glenn that he was luring Hollywood into a false since of security. I would know since I was there. McAvay didn’t ask me once how I was doing or apologize for spearing me instead of Hollywood. He positioned himself by me to feign checking on my well-being as he watched Hollywood out of the corner of his eye. How come do you think he was able to duck under the Executive Promise and power bomb Hollywood on the floor so quickly if his attention was solely focused on me?
Stevens asks Glenn who doesn’t say anything as he thinks of answer.
Scott Stevens: The truth is McAvay wanted me out of the title picture because I said earlier in the night when I made an example out of Electra and McKenna that every champion was put on notice and he tried to take me out before I became a major threat to his reign as champion.
(McAvay’s Response to Blair Moise)
Ray McAvay: Okay. Did I hear that correctly? Why didn’t I ask Scott how he was doing or apologize? Really? In the middle of a match?……In a title defense where I did not ask him to be at ringside? Scott Stevens invited himself down and then interfered in my match without asking me whether or not I wanted his help?”
Blair Moise: Um…again. Yes.
Ray McAvay: And then I used that as a pretext to launch a sneak, pre-emptive attack on Scott Stevens because I, and I quote, ‘wanted him out of the title picture?
Blair Moise: Yes
She nods her head affirmatively.
Ray McAvay: My answer to that is- ……I’ve been here at HOW for a year and half. Does anyone with the IQ of a brick really think that’s my M.O.?
Benny Newell: It must be because it explains why Scott Stevens did what he felt he had to do.
Joe Hoffman (sarcastically): Right. And since when do you ever take Scott Stevens’s side on anything?
Benny Newell: I-………
The lights in the arena go pitch black, as red lasers and spotlights light up the area as the angelic voice of Lauryn Hill serenades the live crowd.
“Ready or not, here I come, you can’t hide
Gonna find you and take it slowly
Ready or not, here I come, you can’t hide
Gonna find you and make you want me”
Bryan McVay: He is a two-time High Octane Wrestling World Champion, representing the Great State of Texas, weighing in at 256lbs…HE IS…SCOTT! STEEEEEEE-VENNNNNNS!
The video screen lights up and a Texas flag flashes across the screen with the words, “Texas Born. Texas Bred. Texas Forever” branded into the flag. The crowd reaction is mixed as “Ready or Not” by Fugees plays throughout the PA system. As the chorus begins to fade there is one final image that is displayed across the screen and that message reads in bold, capitalized letters…..S-C-O-T-T S-T-E-V-E-N-S as “Hellraiser” by Motorhead begins to play.
The boos and cheers intensify as the chorus hits the speakers, drawing out the man from Texas.
Joe Hoffman: And here comes Benny Newell’s brand new favorite wrestler.
Benny Newell: Fuck off Hoffman.
Walking down the aisle, Stevens fists bumps some of his fans while raising a fist at a few of the more vocal bashers. As he finally gets to the ring, he climbs the nearest turnbuckle and stares out into the crowd. Stevens gives them a nod and jumps down to the mat and warms up.
Bryan McVay: And his opponent…weighing in at 200lbs, he hails from Salome, TX, HE IS…..“Tin Cup“ RAY! MCAVAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The crowd cheers as they await McAvay’s entrance. But the camera focuses in on the Les Miserables section and McAvay is not there. Neither are Dawn McGill or his manager ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido.
Joe Hoffman: No sign of the former HOW World Champion.
Benny Newell: After the ass-kicking Scott Stevens gave him, I can’t blame him for not wanting to get back in the ring with the Lonesome Loser.
The cheers dwindle down as there is still no sign of McAvay.
Joe Hoffman: Dawn McGill alluded that this might happen.
Benny Newell: Dawn McGill ran her mouth way too much. She needs to go back to the kitchen, make more babies, and spend more time on her knees if you get my drift.
Joe Hoffman: Benny…
Stevens paces back and forth impatiently in the ring. Still no sign of Ray McAvay.
Joe Hoffman: Referee Matt Boettcher is in the ring now. But still no-
Finally, there’s activity. But it’s coming from the stage. And there’s music.
Joe Hoffman: Huh?
A mariachi band appears, playing a horridly off-key version of ‘Do You Hear the People Sing’ from the Les Miserables musical.
Benny Newell: What…the fuck…is that?
The mariachi band continues to march through the stage down the steps to the floor of the arena. Stevens glares a hole through the musicians- especially when they hit a particularly heinous note that causes his hair to stand up on end.
Behind the mariachi band, five people attempt to sign ‘Do You Hear the People Sing?’ and have problems hitting the notes…all of the notes.
Benny Newell: I’m no singer, but this guy really sucks.
Joe Hoffman: On this issue, we are in complete agreement.
The crowd gets restless with each passing second. And finally…he comes out.
Benny Newell: That’s not Ray McAvay.
No…it’s not Ray McAvay.
Joe Hoffman: I know. I was just handed a note. It’s Ray McIlroy- pro golfer Rory McIlory’s long lost brother that no one knew existed before.
McIlroy, coming out in a horribly ill-fitting black hair piece to try and make him look like Rory McIlory, soaks up the pittance of applause from the Best Arena who try to figure out who the hell the guy is.
Benny Newell: This is bullshit Hoffman. This is total and complete bullshit.
Joe Hoffman: Dawn McGill warned Stevens this might happen.
Benny Newell: Ray McAvay is making a mockery of this match. I was Scott Stevens, I’d be pissed.
Benny’s right- Stevens is pissed. He goes over to Matt Boettcher and the two an animated conversation about what to do.
Benny Newell: Stevens has a right to be pissed and Matt Boettcher should disqualify Ray McAvay and give the match to the Lonesome Loser.
Joe Hoffman: After what Stevens did to McAvay a week and a half ago, I don’t blame him one bit for-
Benny Newell: WHAT THE FUCK?
As Stevens continues to have a full-fledged argument with Matt Boettcher, he doesn’t see Ray McAvay come out from underneath the ring apron with a steel-folding chair. McAvay rolls in under the bottom rope and once he gets back on his feet, charges towards Stevens.
Benny Newell: Oh shit!
Joe Hoffman: DAMN RIGHT, OH SHIT! IT’S RAY McAVAY! IT WAS A RUSE!
Benny Newell: WATCH OUT STEVENS!
McAvay blasts Stevens in the back with the chair, pushing him forward into Boettcher who takes the brunt of the impact and gets pressed up against a corner turnbuckle with Stevens draped all over him.
Joe Hoffman: The crowd is on their feet cheering McAvay on!
Benny Newell: SHUT UP YOU BUNCH OF FRONT RUNNERS! LAST WEEK A BUNCH OF YOU WERE ROOTING FOR STEVENS TO PILEDRIVE HIM ONE MORE TIME!
*BLAM*
Joe Hoffman: McAvay with another chair shot!
Again, Stevens is driven into Matt Boettcher and sends the referee through the ropes down to the floor.
Benny Newell: Referee down. Disqualify him!
Joe Hoffman: I don’t think Ray cares at the moment Benny.
McAvay takes the chair again and this time goes head hunting.
*BLAM*
Joe Hoffman: McAVAY DELIVERS A STEEL CHAIR FACIAL TO STEVENS.
Benny Newell: DAMMIT!
Ray throws the chair down on the mat and pulls a bloodied Stevens back up off the deck. He slaps on a side headlock and goes right into a DDT.
Joe Hoffman: DDT ON THE CHAIR!
Benny Newell: Disqualify him!
Stevens grabs his neck and rolls back and forth on the mat.
Benny Newell: This is bullshit. Total fucking bullshit. First Ray McAvay attacks Scott Stevens at Monday Night Mayhem and then blames him for losing the title. Then McAvay attacks Stevens from behind tonight without any provocation.
Boettcher pops back up and climbs back into the ring. Seeing the carnage, he immediately questions McAvay about what happened. McAvay shrugs.
Benny Newell: Ray McAvay knows exactly what’s going on here.
The referee kicks the bent chair out of the ring and calls for the bell.
*DING-DING*
Joe Hoffman: And in case anyone’s keeping track, this match is finally officially under way.
McAvay is fired up. Stevens sidesteps the initial charge and wastes no time attacking McAvay’s bad neck.
Joe Hoffman: Stevens drives the forearms to McAvay’s injured neck and drives him down to one knee…LOW BLOW BY MCAVAY!”
Benny Newell: Cheater! He’s cheating!
The first one gets Stevens’s attention. When McAvay does it a second time, Stevens’s face turns white and he tips over onto the canvas.
Joe Hoffman: Ray McAvay is bringing everything tonight!
Benny Newell: He’s cheating Hoff-hole. Cheating.
McAvay flails away on Stevens and drives him to the mat. Ray then pulls Stevens up by the hair and throws him through the ropes outside. Stevens topples out of the ring and onto the floor. McAvay on the edge of the ring.
Benny Newell: What is he doing?
McAvay launches himself off the apron and nails a Flying elbow. Stevens’s legs jerk up at impact and then slam back down. McAvay again pulls Stevens up by the hair. Blatant choke. Boettcher tries to get McAvay to come back into the ring but his pleas go on deaf ears. McAvay gets a chair.
*CLANG*
He waffles Stevens again and…
*CLANG*
Down goes Stevens. McAvay throws the chair down and again pulls Stevens back up. He delivers a chop across the chest. A second one. McAvay whips Stevens into the steel guardrail and flips him over the guardrail into the crowd.
Joe Hoffman: I am stunned by this Benny. This is a much more aggressive Ray McAvay than the one we’re used to.
Benny Newell: Where’s the fucking referee and why isn’t he doing his job? McAvay should have been disqualified from the start.
The Scorpion is very slow to get back up.
Benny Newell: Ray McAvay doesn’t give a damn about winning this match. He’s trying to hurt Scott Stevens.
Joe Hoffman: And after what Scott Stevens did him last week, can you blame him?
Someone hands McAvay a cup of beer. McAvay slams the plastic cup in Stevens’s face and sends beer all over the place. Someone else hands him a cookie sheet.
*WHACK*
The cookie sheet is bent at a ninety degree angle after McAvay wraps it around Stevens’s head.
Benny Newell: Why isn’t Matt Boettcher counting them out? Why won’t he disqualify McAvay?
Joe Hoffman: I don’t know what’s happening down- WHO’S THAT?
A woman comes up to McAvay swinging another steel chair and nailing Tin Cup in the back of the neck.
Joe Hoffman: That’s Lisa Barbosa-Stevens! Scott Stevens’s wife!
McAvay drops to his knees and holds his already injured neck. Barbosa-Stevens tells one of the fans to get out of his seat and then throws McAvay head first onto the edge of his chair. McAvay’s busted open and he’s writhing on the floor.
Joe Hoffman: If anyone’s wife would get involved in the match, I thought it’d be Dawn McGill- not Scott Stevens’s wife!
Benny Newell: Lisa Barbosa-Stevens just became my favorite Stevens.
Stevens finally gets back up to his feet and pushes his wife away. He tries to fire some shots at McAvay and then slaps on a hammerlock, transitions into a side headlock. Stevens tries to take McAvay back to the ring. McAvay resists and tries to break the hold so Stevens punches McAvay in the mouth.
Joe Hoffman: I think we’re finding out the full extent of the damage Scott Stevens did to Ray a week and a half ago. He’s having a hard time moving now.
Benny Newell: Lisa Barbosa-Stevens is my favorite Stevens.
Joe Hoffman: We get that.
Benny Newell: Maybe she’ll let me lick barbeque sauce off her tits.
Joe Hoffman: I wouldn’t bet the ranch on that.
Stevens drags McAvay over the timekeeper’s chair and tells the timekeeper to move. Drop toehold onto a chair and McAvay’s forehead is busted open. Stevens then pulls McAvay back up and power bombs him through the timekeeper’s table.
Joe Hoffman: Oh my.
Benny Newell: Maybe she’ll sit on my lap then.
Joe Hoffman: Not a chance.
Stevens drags McAvay back up and takes him to the ring. Stevens rolls McAvay in and climbs the ropes.
Joe Hoffman: Finally…back in the ring.
Just McAvay somehow gets to his feet, Stevens hits a missile drop kick from the top rope.
Benny Newell: YEAH! You teach him not to double-cross you like that Stevens.
Joe Hoffman: You’re just saying that because Lisa Barbosa-Stevens is right in front of us.
Benny Newell: Shut your damn dirty mouth Hoffhole.
Stevens snapmares McAvay into the corner and follows with huge knee strike. Stevens again up top and drops a double axehandle to McAvay. McAvay throws wild punches that miss by several miles. Clothesline by Stevens. He covers.
One…
Two…
Joe Hoffman: NO! McAvay kicks out at two.
Stevens stands back up and lays the boots to McAvay, stomping him repeatedly. Stevens pulls McAvay back to his feet…European uppercut.
Joe Hoffman: Debbie Does Dallas.
McAvay collapses again to the mat. Stevens immediately covers.
One…
Two…
Joe Hoffman: Again, McAvay kicks out at two.
Benny Newell: Nigel Lette could give Matt Boettcher a lesson in how to count.
Stevens getting a little frustrated. He yanks McAvay up and sets up for the Piledriver.
Joe Hoffman: He’s calling for a steel chair.
Stevens’s wife grabs a chair and slides it into the ring.
Joe Hoffman: He’s going to spike McAvay on the chair again!
And that’s what Stevens does.
Benny Newell: YES!
McAvay lies prone on the mat. Stevens scoots over and hooks the leg.
Joe Hoffman: That’s going to do it! Stevens with the cover.
ONE…
TWO…
The crowd suddenly roars.
Joe Hoffman: WAIT! Someone just pulled Referee Matt Boettcher out of the ring!
Benny Newell: SHE’S NOT SUPPOSED TO BE THERE!
Stevens is furious. He stands up and turns to see Dawn McGill, flanked by fifty members of the Les Miserables, standing on the outside. McGill defiantly flips him off.
Joe Hoffman: DAWN McGILL MADE THE SAVE!
Benny Newell: She’s not supposed to be there. The Les Miserables aren’t supposed to be there!
And that brings out the EPU. They stream out from the back but a sudden crush of people block them and a full scale skirmish breaks out.
Joe Hoffman: There’s a huge brawl over by the stage with the EPU and some of the Les Miserables.
Benny Newell: Matt, throw the match out before the shit really hits the fan.
To add more spice to the match, Lisa Barbosa-Stevens jumps up on the ring apron and runs through the ring.
Joe Hoffman: And now what’s Lisa Barbosa-Stevens doing in the ring?
Barbosa-Stevens leaps through the top and middle ropes and tackles McGill on the floor.
Joe Hoffman: BARBOSA-STEVENS TAKES DOWN MCGILL!
The two begin to roll around with wild punches being thrown by both.
Benny Newell: CAT-FIGHT! CAT-FIGHT!
Joe Hoffman: This is getting out of control. We’ve got another brawl outside the ring!
More EPU race out from the back to try to regain control. McGill and Barbosa-Stevens continue to roll around on the floor. Matt Boettcher tries to get in between the two and get them separated.
Benny Newell: Why the fuck is he doing that? Bitcher get back in the God-damn ring and count McAvay out.
Joe Hoffman: It’s complete chaos!
Now seventy people down on the floor surrounding the ring and blocking the view of the HOW’s Hall of Fame announcers.
Benny Newell: What the fuck? Where’d Stevens go?
Joe Hoffman: I don’t know Benny. It’s hard to see-
A crease forms and opens up. McAvay has Stevens’s leg hooked and a Big Bertha driver is lying next to him.
Benny Newell: WHO THE FUCK GAVE McAVAY THE BIG BERTHA DRIVER?
Joe Hoffman: Maybe it was Senor Benjamin, the gardener.
Actually, the answer is hanging around close by the ring apron- HOW’s sanitation specialist Bert the Janitor.
Benny Newell: SON OF A BITCH! FUCK YOU BERT!
Joe Hoffman: McAvay covers!
Boettcher sees the pinfall and immediately jumps back up to his feet. He goes to the ring apron and slams his hand on the mat to make the count.
ONE…
TWO…
THREE…
Joe Hoffman: McAvay did it!
Boettcher immediately calls for the bell.
*DING-DING-DING*
Ring announcer Bryan McVay doesn’t even try to climb back into the ring. He makes the announcement from the floor.
Bryan McVay: Your winner…”Tin Cup“ RAY! MCAVAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*DING-DING-DING*
Joe Hoffman: Injured neck and all, Ray McAvay pulls out an unlikely win over Scott Stevens tonight!
Benny Newell: This is fucking unacceptable!
Joe Hoffman: The EPU and the Les Miserables are still brawling on the floor. They’re trying to separate Lisa Barbosa-Stevens and Dawn McGill.
In the ring, General DeBauchery and Al Cahall help a battered and broken McAvay back to his feet. They gingerly help him through the ropes to the floor where Nic Koteen also helps him out. Ray motions to Bryan McVay to bring him a microphone.
Joe Hoffman: And now McAvay is going to address the crowd.
Benny Newell: No! I’m not listening.
McVay hands Ray the microphone. McAvay whistles loudly and it blares through the loudspeakers and gets everyone’s attention.
Ray McAvay: Brother Stevens…Brother STEEEEE-vens.
Benny Newell: LA, LA, LA, LA, LA, LA…
The crowd noise drops. The EPU and Les Miserables cease hostilities. Lisa Barbosa-Stevens and Dawn McGill are finally separated. And Scott Stevens starts to stirs on the mat.
The High Octane Vision comes to life as well and the camera shot of Ray, who has to be held upright by General DeBauchery and Al Cahall, can be seen throughout the arena.
Ray McAvay: Scott Stevens. This is all on you. You created this situation. You interfered in my match with Brian Hollywood when I probably had him beat and you cost me the title. All I have to say is that you’d better make sure Brian Hollywood doesn’t defeat Darin Zion tonight because if he does…if Brian Hollywood wins and controls all three HOW title belts…if Brian Hollywood tries to force feed his new world order on HOW, the fault lies with one person and one person only- Scott Stevens. This is your fuck up Scott. This is your mess. And this is now your problem and not mine. I’m going home to get well again. You broke it yourself- you can clean it up yourself. To paraphrase a truly great Texan Davy Crockett, Scott Stevens and the people who chanted ‘one more time’ when you kept piledriving me on a steel chair a week and half ago…you may all go to hell and I will go to Texas.
McAvay spikes the microphone on the floor making a loud feedback drenched noise through the speakers.
Joe Hoffman: Ray McAvay is going back to Texas to rest up and heal after two brutal encounters with Scott Stevens.
Benny Newell: Good.
Joe Hoffman: Which means the only way you’ll get to see his stripper friends is if you go to Texas.
Benny Newell: Fuck. Not good.
Dawn McGill and the Les Miserables form a circle around the former champion and escort him towards the exit of the Best Arena.
(HOW #376- End of Show)
Stevens starts attack McAvay with the chair.
Scott Stevens: You attack me! After all I did for you!
Stevens continues to attack McAvay with the chair before tossing it to the mat next to him.
Stevens kneels down and grabs McAvay by his hair and pulls him up.
Scott Stevens: I told you there was only going to be one world champion and that would be me, and after what you did to me tonight I have no problem doing this!
Stevens shouts as he places McAvay between his legs and delivers a piledriver onto the chair. Stevens looks down at McAvay with an expressionless face before grabbing the former champion and piledriving him a second time onto the chair.
Stevens slides out of the ring and reaches the ramp and surveys the damage while EMTs and HOW doctors rush to check on McAvay as the crowd chants……
Crowd: One more time! One more time! One more time!
Joe Hoffman: Finally help for McAvay……the hell?!?!?!?
Stevens rushes into the ring and begins to unload rights onto the face of Tin Cup before placing him between his legs and delivering another ring shaken piledriver onto the steel chair.
Stevens rolls out of the ring as HOW building security and officials back Stevens out of the ring and up the ramp until the Texan isn’t seen again.
Joe Hoffman: McAvay is hurt. Who knows what kind of injuries Stevens make have caused him.
The EMTs and doctors are finally able to tend to McAvay and get him strapped onto the stretcher.
Benny Newell: McAvay brought this upon himself for being an ungrateful friend. Maybe he’ll learn from this lesson.
The EMTs roll McAvay up the ramp and once the reach the top Stevens reappears from the back and begins attacking McAvay.
Stevens quits punching McAvay long enough for him to grab the stretcher and send his fellow Texan off of the stage and onto the cold, hard, and unrelenting concrete floor below.
The medical officials rush to McAvay while HOW building security, the Elite Protection Unit, referees and other wrestlers come out from the back to stop Stevens.
Joe Hoffman: In the days following Stevens’s vicious attack, both he, Ray, and Ray’s wife Dawn McGill have engaged in a bitter war of words over what happened.
(Missouri Valley Wrestling House Show- St. Louis, MO)
Dawn McGill: I wish I could say that I was shocked and stunned when Scott Stevens did what he did last night. But let’s face it, for all the Texas bravado that you’d hope would arm Scott Stevens with a little common sense, the fact is Stevens is afflicted with the silly ‘x’ chromosome that causes him to do really stupid things. Like turning on the man who basically won him War Games.
(Scott Stevens’s Interview with Glenn Michaels)
Scott Stevens: HA! Trust me when I tell you Glenn that he was luring Hollywood into a false since of security. I would know since I was there. McAvay didn’t ask me once how I was doing or apologize for spearing me instead of Hollywood. He positioned himself by me to feign checking on my well-being as he watched Hollywood out of the corner of his eye. How come do you think he was able to duck under the Executive Promise and power bomb Hollywood on the floor so quickly if his attention was solely focused on me?
Stevens asks Glenn who doesn’t say anything as he thinks of answer.
Scott Stevens: The truth is McAvay wanted me out of the title picture because I said earlier in the night when I made an example out of Electra and McKenna that every champion was put on notice and he tried to take me out before I became a major threat to his reign as champion.
(McAvay’s Response to Blair Moise)
Ray McAvay: Okay. Did I hear that correctly? Why didn’t I ask Scott how he was doing or apologize? Really? In the middle of a match?……In a title defense where I did not ask him to be at ringside? Scott Stevens invited himself down and then interfered in my match without asking me whether or not I wanted his help?”
Blair Moise: Um…again. Yes.
Ray McAvay: And then I used that as a pretext to launch a sneak, pre-emptive attack on Scott Stevens because I, and I quote, ‘wanted him out of the title picture?
Blair Moise: Yes
She nods her head affirmatively.
Ray McAvay: My answer to that is- ……I’ve been here at HOW for a year and half. Does anyone with the IQ of a brick really think that’s my M.O.?
Benny Newell: It must be because it explains why Scott Stevens did what he felt he had to do.
Joe Hoffman (sarcastically): Right. And since when do you ever take Scott Stevens’s side on anything?
Benny Newell: I-………
The lights in the arena go pitch black, as red lasers and spotlights light up the area as the angelic voice of Lauryn Hill serenades the live crowd.
“Ready or not, here I come, you can’t hide
Gonna find you and take it slowly
Ready or not, here I come, you can’t hide
Gonna find you and make you want me”
Bryan McVay: He is a two-time High Octane Wrestling World Champion, representing the Great State of Texas, weighing in at 256lbs…HE IS…SCOTT! STEEEEEEE-VENNNNNNS!
The video screen lights up and a Texas flag flashes across the screen with the words, “Texas Born. Texas Bred. Texas Forever” branded into the flag. The crowd reaction is mixed as “Ready or Not” by Fugees plays throughout the PA system. As the chorus begins to fade there is one final image that is displayed across the screen and that message reads in bold, capitalized letters…..S-C-O-T-T S-T-E-V-E-N-S as “Hellraiser” by Motorhead begins to play.
The boos and cheers intensify as the chorus hits the speakers, drawing out the man from Texas.
Joe Hoffman: And here comes Benny Newell’s brand new favorite wrestler.
Benny Newell: Fuck off Hoffman.
Walking down the aisle, Stevens fists bumps some of his fans while raising a fist at a few of the more vocal bashers. As he finally gets to the ring, he climbs the nearest turnbuckle and stares out into the crowd. Stevens gives them a nod and jumps down to the mat and warms up.
Bryan McVay: And his opponent…weighing in at 200lbs, he hails from Salome, TX, HE IS…..“Tin Cup“ RAY! MCAVAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The crowd cheers as they await McAvay’s entrance. But the camera focuses in on the Les Miserables section and McAvay is not there. Neither are Dawn McGill or his manager ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido.
Joe Hoffman: No sign of the former HOW World Champion.
Benny Newell: After the ass-kicking Scott Stevens gave him, I can’t blame him for not wanting to get back in the ring with the Lonesome Loser.
The cheers dwindle down as there is still no sign of McAvay.
Joe Hoffman: Dawn McGill alluded that this might happen.
Benny Newell: Dawn McGill ran her mouth way too much. She needs to go back to the kitchen, make more babies, and spend more time on her knees if you get my drift.
Joe Hoffman: Benny…
Stevens paces back and forth impatiently in the ring. Still no sign of Ray McAvay.
Joe Hoffman: Referee Matt Boettcher is in the ring now. But still no-
Finally, there’s activity. But it’s coming from the stage. And there’s music.
Joe Hoffman: Huh?
A mariachi band appears, playing a horridly off-key version of ‘Do You Hear the People Sing’ from the Les Miserables musical.
Benny Newell: What…the fuck…is that?
The mariachi band continues to march through the stage down the steps to the floor of the arena. Stevens glares a hole through the musicians- especially when they hit a particularly heinous note that causes his hair to stand up on end.
Behind the mariachi band, five people attempt to sign ‘Do You Hear the People Sing?’ and have problems hitting the notes…all of the notes.
Benny Newell: I’m no singer, but this guy really sucks.
Joe Hoffman: On this issue, we are in complete agreement.
The crowd gets restless with each passing second. And finally…he comes out.
Benny Newell: That’s not Ray McAvay.
No…it’s not Ray McAvay.
Joe Hoffman: I know. I was just handed a note. It’s Ray McIlroy- pro golfer Rory McIlory’s long lost brother that no one knew existed before.
McIlroy, coming out in a horribly ill-fitting black hair piece to try and make him look like Rory McIlory, soaks up the pittance of applause from the Best Arena who try to figure out who the hell the guy is.
Benny Newell: This is bullshit Hoffman. This is total and complete bullshit.
Joe Hoffman: Dawn McGill warned Stevens this might happen.
Benny Newell: Ray McAvay is making a mockery of this match. I was Scott Stevens, I’d be pissed.
Benny’s right- Stevens is pissed. He goes over to Matt Boettcher and the two an animated conversation about what to do.
Benny Newell: Stevens has a right to be pissed and Matt Boettcher should disqualify Ray McAvay and give the match to the Lonesome Loser.
Joe Hoffman: After what Stevens did to McAvay a week and a half ago, I don’t blame him one bit for-
Benny Newell: WHAT THE FUCK?
As Stevens continues to have a full-fledged argument with Matt Boettcher, he doesn’t see Ray McAvay come out from underneath the ring apron with a steel-folding chair. McAvay rolls in under the bottom rope and once he gets back on his feet, charges towards Stevens.
Benny Newell: Oh shit!
Joe Hoffman: DAMN RIGHT, OH SHIT! IT’S RAY McAVAY! IT WAS A RUSE!
Benny Newell: WATCH OUT STEVENS!
McAvay blasts Stevens in the back with the chair, pushing him forward into Boettcher who takes the brunt of the impact and gets pressed up against a corner turnbuckle with Stevens draped all over him.
Joe Hoffman: The crowd is on their feet cheering McAvay on!
Benny Newell: SHUT UP YOU BUNCH OF FRONT RUNNERS! LAST WEEK A BUNCH OF YOU WERE ROOTING FOR STEVENS TO PILEDRIVE HIM ONE MORE TIME!
*BLAM*
Joe Hoffman: McAvay with another chair shot!
Again, Stevens is driven into Matt Boettcher and sends the referee through the ropes down to the floor.
Benny Newell: Referee down. Disqualify him!
Joe Hoffman: I don’t think Ray cares at the moment Benny.
McAvay takes the chair again and this time goes head hunting.
*BLAM*
Joe Hoffman: McAVAY DELIVERS A STEEL CHAIR FACIAL TO STEVENS.
Benny Newell: DAMMIT!
Ray throws the chair down on the mat and pulls a bloodied Stevens back up off the deck. He slaps on a side headlock and goes right into a DDT.
Joe Hoffman: DDT ON THE CHAIR!
Benny Newell: Disqualify him!
Stevens grabs his neck and rolls back and forth on the mat.
Benny Newell: This is bullshit. Total fucking bullshit. First Ray McAvay attacks Scott Stevens at Monday Night Mayhem and then blames him for losing the title. Then McAvay attacks Stevens from behind tonight without any provocation.
Boettcher pops back up and climbs back into the ring. Seeing the carnage, he immediately questions McAvay about what happened. McAvay shrugs.
Benny Newell: Ray McAvay knows exactly what’s going on here.
The referee kicks the bent chair out of the ring and calls for the bell.
*DING-DING*
Joe Hoffman: And in case anyone’s keeping track, this match is finally officially under way.
McAvay is fired up. Stevens sidesteps the initial charge and wastes no time attacking McAvay’s bad neck.
Joe Hoffman: Stevens drives the forearms to McAvay’s injured neck and drives him down to one knee…LOW BLOW BY MCAVAY!”
Benny Newell: Cheater! He’s cheating!
The first one gets Stevens’s attention. When McAvay does it a second time, Stevens’s face turns white and he tips over onto the canvas.
Joe Hoffman: Ray McAvay is bringing everything tonight!
Benny Newell: He’s cheating Hoff-hole. Cheating.
McAvay flails away on Stevens and drives him to the mat. Ray then pulls Stevens up by the hair and throws him through the ropes outside. Stevens topples out of the ring and onto the floor. McAvay on the edge of the ring.
Benny Newell: What is he doing?
McAvay launches himself off the apron and nails a Flying elbow. Stevens’s legs jerk up at impact and then slam back down. McAvay again pulls Stevens up by the hair. Blatant choke. Boettcher tries to get McAvay to come back into the ring but his pleas go on deaf ears. McAvay gets a chair.
*CLANG*
He waffles Stevens again and…
*CLANG*
Down goes Stevens. McAvay throws the chair down and again pulls Stevens back up. He delivers a chop across the chest. A second one. McAvay whips Stevens into the steel guardrail and flips him over the guardrail into the crowd.
Joe Hoffman: I am stunned by this Benny. This is a much more aggressive Ray McAvay than the one we’re used to.
Benny Newell: Where’s the fucking referee and why isn’t he doing his job? McAvay should have been disqualified from the start.
The Scorpion is very slow to get back up.
Benny Newell: Ray McAvay doesn’t give a damn about winning this match. He’s trying to hurt Scott Stevens.
Joe Hoffman: And after what Scott Stevens did him last week, can you blame him?
Someone hands McAvay a cup of beer. McAvay slams the plastic cup in Stevens’s face and sends beer all over the place. Someone else hands him a cookie sheet.
*WHACK*
The cookie sheet is bent at a ninety degree angle after McAvay wraps it around Stevens’s head.
Benny Newell: Why isn’t Matt Boettcher counting them out? Why won’t he disqualify McAvay?
Joe Hoffman: I don’t know what’s happening down- WHO’S THAT?
A woman comes up to McAvay swinging another steel chair and nailing Tin Cup in the back of the neck.
Joe Hoffman: That’s Lisa Barbosa-Stevens! Scott Stevens’s wife!
McAvay drops to his knees and holds his already injured neck. Barbosa-Stevens tells one of the fans to get out of his seat and then throws McAvay head first onto the edge of his chair. McAvay’s busted open and he’s writhing on the floor.
Joe Hoffman: If anyone’s wife would get involved in the match, I thought it’d be Dawn McGill- not Scott Stevens’s wife!
Benny Newell: Lisa Barbosa-Stevens just became my favorite Stevens.
Stevens finally gets back up to his feet and pushes his wife away. He tries to fire some shots at McAvay and then slaps on a hammerlock, transitions into a side headlock. Stevens tries to take McAvay back to the ring. McAvay resists and tries to break the hold so Stevens punches McAvay in the mouth.
Joe Hoffman: I think we’re finding out the full extent of the damage Scott Stevens did to Ray a week and a half ago. He’s having a hard time moving now.
Benny Newell: Lisa Barbosa-Stevens is my favorite Stevens.
Joe Hoffman: We get that.
Benny Newell: Maybe she’ll let me lick barbeque sauce off her tits.
Joe Hoffman: I wouldn’t bet the ranch on that.
Stevens drags McAvay over the timekeeper’s chair and tells the timekeeper to move. Drop toehold onto a chair and McAvay’s forehead is busted open. Stevens then pulls McAvay back up and power bombs him through the timekeeper’s table.
Joe Hoffman: Oh my.
Benny Newell: Maybe she’ll sit on my lap then.
Joe Hoffman: Not a chance.
Stevens drags McAvay back up and takes him to the ring. Stevens rolls McAvay in and climbs the ropes.
Joe Hoffman: Finally…back in the ring.
Just McAvay somehow gets to his feet, Stevens hits a missile drop kick from the top rope.
Benny Newell: YEAH! You teach him not to double-cross you like that Stevens.
Joe Hoffman: You’re just saying that because Lisa Barbosa-Stevens is right in front of us.
Benny Newell: Shut your damn dirty mouth Hoffhole.
Stevens snapmares McAvay into the corner and follows with huge knee strike. Stevens again up top and drops a double axehandle to McAvay. McAvay throws wild punches that miss by several miles. Clothesline by Stevens. He covers.
One…
Two…
Joe Hoffman: NO! McAvay kicks out at two.
Stevens stands back up and lays the boots to McAvay, stomping him repeatedly. Stevens pulls McAvay back to his feet…European uppercut.
Joe Hoffman: Debbie Does Dallas.
McAvay collapses again to the mat. Stevens immediately covers.
One…
Two…
Joe Hoffman: Again, McAvay kicks out at two.
Benny Newell: Nigel Lette could give Matt Boettcher a lesson in how to count.
Stevens getting a little frustrated. He yanks McAvay up and sets up for the Piledriver.
Joe Hoffman: He’s calling for a steel chair.
Stevens’s wife grabs a chair and slides it into the ring.
Joe Hoffman: He’s going to spike McAvay on the chair again!
And that’s what Stevens does.
Benny Newell: YES!
McAvay lies prone on the mat. Stevens scoots over and hooks the leg.
Joe Hoffman: That’s going to do it! Stevens with the cover.
ONE…
TWO…
The crowd suddenly roars.
Joe Hoffman: WAIT! Someone just pulled Referee Matt Boettcher out of the ring!
Benny Newell: SHE’S NOT SUPPOSED TO BE THERE!
Stevens is furious. He stands up and turns to see Dawn McGill, flanked by fifty members of the Les Miserables, standing on the outside. McGill defiantly flips him off.
Joe Hoffman: DAWN McGILL MADE THE SAVE!
Benny Newell: She’s not supposed to be there. The Les Miserables aren’t supposed to be there!
And that brings out the EPU. They stream out from the back but a sudden crush of people block them and a full scale skirmish breaks out.
Joe Hoffman: There’s a huge brawl over by the stage with the EPU and some of the Les Miserables.
Benny Newell: Matt, throw the match out before the shit really hits the fan.
To add more spice to the match, Lisa Barbosa-Stevens jumps up on the ring apron and runs through the ring.
Joe Hoffman: And now what’s Lisa Barbosa-Stevens doing in the ring?
Barbosa-Stevens leaps through the top and middle ropes and tackles McGill on the floor.
Joe Hoffman: BARBOSA-STEVENS TAKES DOWN MCGILL!
The two begin to roll around with wild punches being thrown by both.
Benny Newell: CAT-FIGHT! CAT-FIGHT!
Joe Hoffman: This is getting out of control. We’ve got another brawl outside the ring!
More EPU race out from the back to try to regain control. McGill and Barbosa-Stevens continue to roll around on the floor. Matt Boettcher tries to get in between the two and get them separated.
Benny Newell: Why the fuck is he doing that? Bitcher get back in the God-damn ring and count McAvay out.
Joe Hoffman: It’s complete chaos!
Now seventy people down on the floor surrounding the ring and blocking the view of the HOW’s Hall of Fame announcers.
Benny Newell: What the fuck? Where’d Stevens go?
Joe Hoffman: I don’t know Benny. It’s hard to see-
A crease forms and opens up. McAvay has Stevens’s leg hooked and a Big Bertha driver is lying next to him.
Benny Newell: WHO THE FUCK GAVE McAVAY THE BIG BERTHA DRIVER?
Joe Hoffman: Maybe it was Senor Benjamin, the gardener.
Actually, the answer is hanging around close by the ring apron- HOW’s sanitation specialist Bert the Janitor.
Benny Newell: SON OF A BITCH! FUCK YOU BERT!
Joe Hoffman: McAvay covers!
Boettcher sees the pinfall and immediately jumps back up to his feet. He goes to the ring apron and slams his hand on the mat to make the count.
ONE…
TWO…
THREE…
Joe Hoffman: McAvay did it!
Boettcher immediately calls for the bell.
*DING-DING-DING*
Ring announcer Bryan McVay doesn’t even try to climb back into the ring. He makes the announcement from the floor.
Bryan McVay: Your winner…”Tin Cup“ RAY! MCAVAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*DING-DING-DING*
Joe Hoffman: Injured neck and all, Ray McAvay pulls out an unlikely win over Scott Stevens tonight!
Benny Newell: This is fucking unacceptable!
Joe Hoffman: The EPU and the Les Miserables are still brawling on the floor. They’re trying to separate Lisa Barbosa-Stevens and Dawn McGill.
In the ring, General DeBauchery and Al Cahall help a battered and broken McAvay back to his feet. They gingerly help him through the ropes to the floor where Nic Koteen also helps him out. Ray motions to Bryan McVay to bring him a microphone.
Joe Hoffman: And now McAvay is going to address the crowd.
Benny Newell: No! I’m not listening.
McVay hands Ray the microphone. McAvay whistles loudly and it blares through the loudspeakers and gets everyone’s attention.
Ray McAvay: Brother Stevens…Brother STEEEEE-vens.
Benny Newell: LA, LA, LA, LA, LA, LA…
The crowd noise drops. The EPU and Les Miserables cease hostilities. Lisa Barbosa-Stevens and Dawn McGill are finally separated. And Scott Stevens starts to stirs on the mat.
The High Octane Vision comes to life as well and the camera shot of Ray, who has to be held upright by General DeBauchery and Al Cahall, can be seen throughout the arena.
Ray McAvay: Scott Stevens. This is all on you. You created this situation. You interfered in my match with Brian Hollywood when I probably had him beat and you cost me the title. All I have to say is that you’d better make sure Brian Hollywood doesn’t defeat Darin Zion tonight because if he does…if Brian Hollywood wins and controls all three HOW title belts…if Brian Hollywood tries to force feed his new world order on HOW, the fault lies with one person and one person only- Scott Stevens. This is your fuck up Scott. This is your mess. And this is now your problem and not mine. I’m going home to get well again. You broke it yourself- you can clean it up yourself. To paraphrase a truly great Texan Davy Crockett, Scott Stevens and the people who chanted ‘one more time’ when you kept piledriving me on a steel chair a week and half ago…you may all go to hell and I will go to Texas.
McAvay spikes the microphone on the floor making a loud feedback drenched noise through the speakers.
Joe Hoffman: Ray McAvay is going back to Texas to rest up and heal after two brutal encounters with Scott Stevens.
Benny Newell: Good.
Joe Hoffman: Which means the only way you’ll get to see his stripper friends is if you go to Texas.
Benny Newell: Fuck. Not good.
Dawn McGill and the Les Miserables form a circle around the former champion and escort him towards the exit of the Best Arena.