Post by Jman2k3 on Jul 27, 2020 2:48:02 GMT
#3 Group of Death vs. #NR Eric Dane and Scott Stevens
Back live from commercial and its time for our main event.
Benny Newell: God, can we get this show on the road already?
Joe Hoffman: Well, the Champ is already in the ring-
Benny Newell: Blah, blah, blah. Less talky, more fightey!
The opening riff to “Zero” by the Smashing Pumpkins cuts through the speakers like a hot knife through butter. This can only mean one man.
Bryan McVay: Hailing from Houston, Texas, and weighing in at 305 pounds!! He… is… The HAMMER of GoD! DAAAAANNNN… RYYYYYYAAAANNNNN!!!
The lights go out and a dual-spotlight makes an encircling pattern on the entrance area as the opening riff of the song plays. When the riff audio kicks it up a notch, Dan Ryan steps out and pauses, looking into the audience, then heads down the aisle as pyro blasts behind him. The video shows clips from his career: power bombing Bobby Dean, super kicking Andy Murray, taking MJ Flair’s head off with a clothesline, hitting Perfection with the Headliner, countering a Jack Harmen dive into a vicious power slam, smirking as he pins Doozer. Ryan walks directly to the ring, rolls in under the bottom rope, and shares a glance with Mike Best before he climbs the nearest turnbuckle, keeping his arms down and smirking into the crowd as the music fades.
Joe Hoffman: That right there is a scary, scary human being.
Benny Newell: He’s a goddamn psychopath is what he is, a danger to his coworkers and a menace to society!
Joe Hoffman: Jeez, tell us what you really think.
“Dead Man Walking” plays. The mood in the arena changes. The HOW fans may be off-put by Mike Best, and they may be too scared of Dan Ryan to boo him, but they can’t goddamn motherfucking stand Scott Stevens…
Benny Newell: Ugh, this is where I check out.
You can hear Benny rumbling around under the desk for a bottle of Jack Daniels. Stevens emerges from the curtain and the fans do indeed let him have it.
Joe Hoffman: Scott Stevens is a former multiple time Champion here in HOW, Benny, as well as a former DEF-
Benny Newell: DON’T YOU SAY IT!
Stevens starts to make his way down toward the ring when Eric Dane pops out behind him with a salty look etched across his face. The HOW fans have no love for The Only Star, but at this point anything is better than Stoovins, even a guy who made a career as an HOW antagonist from the outside. Dane power-walks his way down the ramp, shoulders past Stevens without even acknowledging him and slides quickly into the ring. Dan Ryan eyeballs the former defiant boss, and Mike Best does what Mike Best does, he immediately starts running his mouth.
Joe Hoffman: This is gonna get ugly in a hurry.
Benny Newell: Can you see Scott Stevens? It’s already ugly out there. And get a load of Dane’s five-head will ya? You could sell ad space on that thing…
Stevens rolls in and before Matt Boettcher can call for the bell Eric Dane is pushing up against the World Champion, the two grapplers both mouthing words of ill intent at each other as their respective partners get into a stare-down right beside them. Dane, the most vitriolic of the foursome inside the ring, shoves Mike hard in the chest and throws a middle finger up directly into Dan Ryan’s face. Ryan’s attention turns immediately to his former partner and things are about to explode when Boettcher somehow manages to wedge himself between Dane and certain death and push him back into the corner.
Joe Hoffman: This is about to escalate. Quickly.
Benny Newell: We can only be so lucky.
On the other side of the ring Mike has recovered quickly, nothing hurt but perhaps his ego. Dan Ryan is completely unphased, as is his way. A quick strategy session later and the Champ has Dan Ryan step through the ropes to the apron and he turns and points at Dane and Stevens, demanding that one of either of them come and get embarrassed real quick. Boettcher gives them the “one in, one out” the speech and Dane steps out quickly. Stevens tries to have something to say but Dane very audibly cuts him off with the purest logic there could ever be.
Eric Dane: Go on, big boy, you wanted to bring the Group of Death down a peg or two right? Now’s your chance!
The bell rings.
The Only Star grabs the tag rope and makes a very big deal of shooing Stevens away. Stevens turns around and almost trips over the World Champion. Mike Best, in typical Mike Best fashion, has one hand behind his back and the other pointing at his jaw. He offers Stevens a free shot to start the match. Stevens smirks, Mike puts both hands behind his back and keeps talking shit. Stevens winds up and takes a big ol’ Texas swing at the World Champion that is easily dodged by the smaller, quicker Best. Pleased as punch with himself Mike steps right back in, daring Stevens to take another shot. He does.
Benny Newell: Swing and a miss! Steeee-rike TWO!
Dan Ryan watches on without much of an expression past bored anticipation. Across the ring Eric Dane slaps the turnbuckle pad and yells a few choice expletives with no particular target in mind. Stevens winds up one more time, Mike makes the same move to duck out of the way but Stevens anticipates it this time. The Big Texan grabs the World Champion by the shoulders and bodily lifts and tosses him across the ring into the neutral corner.
Joe Hoffman: Things are about to turn around for the World Champion!
Stevens rushes into the corner for a big splash but Mike, quick as a cat and twice as catty, acrobatically slips out to the apron and then hops up and catches Stevens upside the head with an Enzuigiri that staggers him. Eager to follow up Mike grabs the top rope and pulls himself up, coiling like a spring and launching himself off at Stevens with what looks like a Springboard Super Knee but Stevens has the wherewithal to catch the Champ, pivot, and drop him hard on the mat with the Double S Spinebuster! Stevens pops up to his feet and turns to his partner in the corner and starts jawing back and telling Dane to mind his business as he’s got Mike under control. Dane shrugs at him as he grabs Mike off the mat and pushes him back into the corner again, this time lighting him up with an overhand chop that leaves a handprint on Mike’s chest and follows up immediately with a knife-edge chop to the same exact spot.
WOOOOOOO!!!
Joe Hoffman: Yikes! Stevens is lighting Mike Best up with those chops!
Benny Newell: Give him time, he’ll fuck it up.
Stevens lights the champ up again, and again, and he keeps on going, ramping up into a flurry of nasty chop after chop to Mike’s chest! The champ can’t do a thing about it either as Stevens chops his chest into actual hamburger meat. On the apron Dan Ryan raises an eyebrow, it’s the most emotion he’s shown yet tonight. Dane’s face scrunches up, glad to not be on the receiving end of any of that. Boettcher finally steps in and yells for Stevens to get him out of the corner before starting a count. Somewhere between three and four Stevens hits the last and the loudest of the chops before stepping back, spinning, and slamming into Mike, crushing him into the corner with a Texas Lariat!
Joe Hoffman: He squashed him like a bug!
Stevens lets Mike stumble out of the corner then shoves him again, this time hard into his own corner. Stevens gives Dan Ryan a smirk and tells him to come get some. Mike Best is happy to oblige Stevens and reaches up for a tag, the Ego Buster obliges him and steps over the top rope and into the ring. The bigger Texan approaches Scott Stevens with what amounts to a smirk curling onto his lips.
Benny Newell: Well, this is gonna be a thing!
Stevens meets Dan Ryan with a forearm shiver, Dan replies in kind, the next thing anybody knows the two big Texans are standing toe-to-toe in the center of the ring, throwing forearms, chops, and dirty punches back and forth. Neither man backs down an inch, and as the time goes on the strikes get harder and faster, the crowd is into it and even Dane and Best look impressed in their respective corners as the big beef-slappin’ party continues on in the ring! Finally Dan Ryan takes the advantage with nasty elbow to the face that crosses Stevens’ eyes! Another one staggers Stevens back a bit and then Dan backs him into the corner.
Joe Hoffman: The Hammer of GoD is just relentless!
Benny Newell: Scort Stovers has better be glad that Ryan hit him with his left arm, and not that bionically-braced right one! Talk about dropping the hammer…
Joe Hoffman: Well, it’s pretty common knowledge that Ryan’s been perfecting his new Hammer of GoD finisher, and that it does in fact involve that right elbow and that contraption he calls a brace! So yeah, I guess you’re right about Stevens being lucky here so far…
Ryan grabs Stevens by the arm and sends him hard across the ring and into the opposite turnbuckle where he follows him in with a jaw-shattering big boot to the face. Dan finally cracks a smile as he then grabs Stevens and plants him hard with a full nelson slam! He drops down into an easy lateral press.
ONE!
TWO!
Ryan pulls him up.
Benny Newell: So much for that luck…
Eric Dane has had enough. He’s in the ring pretty quickly but Boettcher is quicker and he cuts Dane off before he can get in and interfere and pushes him back into his own corner. Meanwhile Dan Ryan pulls Stevens up and tosses him into the GoD corner where he and Mike Best both get a couple of good licks in. Mike wraps the tag rope around his neck and squeezes while Dan just unloads on Stevens. Dane, meanwhile, makes a big show of arguing with Boettcher and pointing and gesturing across the ring. When Boettcher finally does turn Mike walks out of the corner, his hands raised in a neutral gesture and Ryan pulls him out of the corner and into a particularly nasty looking Belly-to-Belly Suplex! He holds on for another pinfall.
ONE!
TW-
Joe Hoffman: NO! ERIC DANE IS IN TO BREAK IT UP WITH A STOMP TO RYAN’S HEAD!
Ryan snarls, Boettcher is up quickly, he tries pushing Dane back into his corner but Dane spins out like a linebacker! Dane doesn’t go after Ryan though, rather he grabs Stevens by the head and arms and drags him back into their corner where he dumps him, hops out onto the apron, and then tags himself into the match for the first time. Stevens manages to roll his way out onto the apron to recuperate. At The Only Star’s approach, Dan Ryan cracks a full on smile. Seven people in the audience have big boy heart attacks right then and there, it’s that goddamn scary.
Benny Newell: Well I’ll be fucked, this might actually get interesting!
Joe Hoffman: Is Dane… calling for a Test of Strength?
Benny Newell: HA! He sure as fuck is!
And so it is, Dane throws his right hand up, challenging the biggest, strongest, and outright scariest motherfucker this side of Frederick F. Kruger to an honest to goodness Test of Strength. Ryan reaches “up” to grab Dane’s hand in a knuckle-lock but The Only Star quickly backs away. On his face is a look that says there’s no way he’s ever gonna actually go through with that. Dan Ryan rolls his eyes. Dane smirks and steps back in, this time raising his left hand. Ryan hesitates a moment before reaching up. Dane steps back again, tapping the side of his head as he smirks at the much larger man in front of him.
Benny Newell: Bah. I spoke too soon.
Dane steps in one more time, this time with both arms up. Dan Ryan snarls and before Dane can back out the Ego Buster grabs both of his hands and squeezes Dane into the most vicious Greco-Roman Knuckle Lock this side of Greece and Rome.
Eric Dane: AAAHHHHHHHHHH FUCK!
Dane kicks Dan Ryan in the dick, causing him to release Dane’s now freshly mangled fingers from his vice like grip.
Joe Hoffman: LOW BLOW!
Benny Newell: The referee didn’t see it!
He did, though, and he chastises Dane about it. The Only Star blows him off and presses the attack, driving a hard elbow into the side of Ryan’s head that he follows up with a Million Dollar Knee Lift that straightens the Ego Buster up. It doesn’t appear to have hurt them though, as he simply smiles at Dane and presses back in himself.
Benny Newell: Look! Dane’s scared of Dan Ryan!
Joe Hoffman: Well. I mean. He did pretty much exactly say that in the leadup to the match this week, sooooo…
If it weren’t for quick thinking Dane would probably be dead by now. Dan Ryan certainly is trying to get his hands on him, but Dane stops him in his tracks with a particularly brutal eye-rake. Ryan growls, the rage growing, but he finds himself back near enough to his corner and Mike Best extends a hand. Ryan looks at the World Champion then back to Dane who feigns fear, waggling his fingers in front of him and shrugging his shoulders as he taunts them both. Ryan tags the extended hand and steps out, allowing the World Champion to step in.
Benny Newell: Here we go, Joe, ten years in the making we’ve got Eric Dane and Mike Best squaring off for the first time in an HOW ring! If I didn’t think they were both regurgitated hooker spit I might be on the edge of my seat!
It’s not to be, though, as Dane backs away, tagging the barely recovered Scott Stevens on the chest and immediately stepping out, motioning for Stevens to get in there and take care of his light work. Annoyed, but unable to do anything about it Stevens turns around to once again be met by the World Champion with both hands behind his back and a goofy smirk across his face. Stevens, buttons officially pressed, reaches in and instead of punching at the champ he grabs him by the head and arms and sends him up and over, sprawling into the corner with a Head and Arm Suplex. He rushes in to press the attack, grabs Mike and lines him up for another blistering chop!
Joe Hoffman: Stevens is about to punish the cham-
Benny Hoffman: Too soon.
But Mike ducks the chop, rolls out, resets, and connects hard with a running knee strike that sends Stevens stumbling into the corner. The champ backs up, takes measure, takes a couple of steps to pick up some steam before stepping up on the middle rope and absolutely clobbering Stevens with a Corner Knee that crosses his eyes.
Benny Newell: Look at him, he’s dreamin’!
Joe Hoffman: Stevens certainly does appear out on his feet!
Mike gives Stevens some space, and on spaghetti legs he stumbles out of the corner. He’s pretty much out on his feet, but somewhere in the back of his brain he knows his only hope is to reach the corner and tag Eric Dane back in! The Only Star reaches in as far as he can without letting go of the tag rope, and with the World Champion and the Hammer of GoD watching on Stevens take another step toward his corner before weeble-wobbling into an almost face-plant except he manages to extend a hand for the tag!
Benny Newell: Here we go again!
Joe Hoffman: Dane with the hot tag-
Benny Newell: HA! No he didn’t!
At the last possible second Eric pulls back, letting Stevens flop face-first down to the mat. The Only Star drops off the apron, and much to the chagrin of Mike Best he backs away, once again tapping a finger at his head, denoting just exactly how smart that he’s quite sure that he is.
Joe Hoffman: Surprise, surprise, Eric Dane’s not there when somebody needs him.
Benny Newell: I know, ain’t it great?!
Dane makes his way around ringside. It looks for a moment like Dan Ryan might drop down to the floor and give chase, but in the end he turns his attention back into the ring where Mike Best has already decided to put this one to sleep as he lines up, waits, and just as Stevens pulls himself up to one knee Mike launches at him, steps off of Stevens’ exposed knee, and collides his own knee with Steven’s face, crossing his eyes and loosening a few teeth in the process.
Joe Hoffman: I KNEED A HERO! IT’S ALL ACADEMIC FROM HERE!
Benny Newell: About damn time! My whiskey ran dry four minutes ago and I’m gonna get real pissy if it hits six.
The champ drops down and makes a lateral press, hooking the far leg. Matt Boettcher is as always right in position and he slides in to count the pin.
ONE!
TWO!!
THREE!!!
Boettcher calls for the bell, it rings once again.
Bryan McVay: Your winners of the match… Dan Ryan and Mike Best… THE GROOOOOUP OF DEEEAAAAAAAAAAATHHHH!!!
Eric Dane saunters toward the ramp, ignoring the fans’ vitriol for leaving Scott Stevens out to dry, and turns to admire his handiwork while slowly backing up the incline. The Texas Scorpion is sprawled out on the canvas, Mike Best is making the cover, and Eric’s leaving Chicago feeling like a winner despite a notch in the L column.
For as smart as he thinks himself to be, and as cocky as everyone knows he is, he forgets the cardinal rule of keeping your head on a swivel. If he hadn’t, he might have noticed movement through the crowd, a rising swell of cheers, and two knees – one braced – being aimed directly at his face.
Benny Newell: No no no no no, this isn’t fucking happening….
Eric flies off the ramp and into the side barricade as Lindsay Troy sticks the landing and immediately scrambles back to where Dane is, raining down relentless fists onto his head, red hot and full of fury. When he tries to cover up, that’s when the kicks to the ribs starts.
Joe Hoffman: Lindsay Troy! From the crowd! The flying double knees find their mark and Eric Dane is in a world of trouble!
Benny Newell: Godfuckingdammit, she should be dead! DANE, YOU HAD ONE JOB, YOU PIECE OF SHIT.
Joe Hoffman: It’s almost one month to the day since Eric attacked Lindsay with a pipe and injured her knee, and she is back with a vengeance! Kicks to the ribs! Dane falls to the side, oh! Stomps to the kidneys! She’s not giving him any quarter!
Benny Newell: He’s gonna need whatever quarters he can get after Lee pulls his fucking contract and kicks him back to that New Orleans sweatbox.
Eventually, Lindsay grabs two fistfuls of Eric’s dirty blonde hair, wrangles him to his feet, drags him back toward ringside and heaves him back-first against the heavy ringsteps. Eric crumples against them, breathing heavy, holding the back of his head. Troy’s foot comes flying toward his face and he manages to dive out of the way while the steps dislodge the rest of the way from the ringpost and tumble onto the protective mats around the ring. This only forces her to change tactics and kick him in the ribs again, driving the air out of his body.
If he doesn’t have multiple broken ribs by now, it might be a miracle.
Don’t tell Steve Harrison.
Joe Hoffman: I have never seen Lindsay Troy like this, Benny, she’s merciless. A woman possessed.
Benny Newell: This is outright assault and savagery; you think she’d never gotten hit with a pipe before. She’s fucking Mike Best, anyway; with the way he talks, he lays down pipe all the—
Joe Hoffman: BENJAMIN NEWELL!
Benny Newell: WHAT?!?!
Scott Stevens has managed to roll out under the bottom rope and make his way to the locker room, steering clear of Lindsay Troy’s wrath. Matt Boettcher has climbed out as well to maybe – bless his heart – try and stop the Queen of the Ring from further dismantling the Only Star, but one glare is enough for him to know that there’s no appealing to her sense of reason, and he smartly backs off. In the ring, a surprised Michael Lee Best and Dan Ryan watch their stablemate take her pound of flesh.
Lindsay keeps one eye on Eric, who is beginning to cough up blood while stumbling to his feet, and lifts the ring skirt up. She looks around for a weapon of choice and finally yanks a chair from underneath. Sparing no hesitation, Lindsay cracks a homerun right to his ribcage and then another one to the back of his head before dropping the chair, hooking him in a chancery, and capturing his leg
Joe Hoffman: Oh this doesn’t look good. Whatever Lindsay’s planning to do, she could break his neck.
Benny Newell: Would serve him right, then; he should have finished the job he was hired to do.
With a heave and a roar, the Lady of the Hour spikes the Antagonist onto the chair with a small package driver. If any electricity was still on in Dane’s head before this, it’s fully out now.
Lindsay takes a moment to sit and glower at a prone, bloody-mouthed, bloody-headed Eric Dane. It doesn’t register right away that the crowd is cheering, hands are pounding the barricade in front of her, phones are out and recording. But when it does, the Queen seems to come back to herself, looking around at the High Octane Faithful, and a tiny smile forms at the corners of her mouth.
Troy rises to a knee, then up to her feet, and vaults herself up to a sitting position on the barricade. For the first time, she looks up to the ring, to Michael and Dan, to their startled faces, and that tiny smile grows into that Lindsay Troy smirk.
With a wink to the boys, she disappears again through the crowd.
Refueled comes to a close.
All Hail the Queen.
Back live from commercial and its time for our main event.
Benny Newell: God, can we get this show on the road already?
Joe Hoffman: Well, the Champ is already in the ring-
Benny Newell: Blah, blah, blah. Less talky, more fightey!
The opening riff to “Zero” by the Smashing Pumpkins cuts through the speakers like a hot knife through butter. This can only mean one man.
Bryan McVay: Hailing from Houston, Texas, and weighing in at 305 pounds!! He… is… The HAMMER of GoD! DAAAAANNNN… RYYYYYYAAAANNNNN!!!
The lights go out and a dual-spotlight makes an encircling pattern on the entrance area as the opening riff of the song plays. When the riff audio kicks it up a notch, Dan Ryan steps out and pauses, looking into the audience, then heads down the aisle as pyro blasts behind him. The video shows clips from his career: power bombing Bobby Dean, super kicking Andy Murray, taking MJ Flair’s head off with a clothesline, hitting Perfection with the Headliner, countering a Jack Harmen dive into a vicious power slam, smirking as he pins Doozer. Ryan walks directly to the ring, rolls in under the bottom rope, and shares a glance with Mike Best before he climbs the nearest turnbuckle, keeping his arms down and smirking into the crowd as the music fades.
Joe Hoffman: That right there is a scary, scary human being.
Benny Newell: He’s a goddamn psychopath is what he is, a danger to his coworkers and a menace to society!
Joe Hoffman: Jeez, tell us what you really think.
“Dead Man Walking” plays. The mood in the arena changes. The HOW fans may be off-put by Mike Best, and they may be too scared of Dan Ryan to boo him, but they can’t goddamn motherfucking stand Scott Stevens…
Benny Newell: Ugh, this is where I check out.
You can hear Benny rumbling around under the desk for a bottle of Jack Daniels. Stevens emerges from the curtain and the fans do indeed let him have it.
Joe Hoffman: Scott Stevens is a former multiple time Champion here in HOW, Benny, as well as a former DEF-
Benny Newell: DON’T YOU SAY IT!
Stevens starts to make his way down toward the ring when Eric Dane pops out behind him with a salty look etched across his face. The HOW fans have no love for The Only Star, but at this point anything is better than Stoovins, even a guy who made a career as an HOW antagonist from the outside. Dane power-walks his way down the ramp, shoulders past Stevens without even acknowledging him and slides quickly into the ring. Dan Ryan eyeballs the former defiant boss, and Mike Best does what Mike Best does, he immediately starts running his mouth.
Joe Hoffman: This is gonna get ugly in a hurry.
Benny Newell: Can you see Scott Stevens? It’s already ugly out there. And get a load of Dane’s five-head will ya? You could sell ad space on that thing…
Stevens rolls in and before Matt Boettcher can call for the bell Eric Dane is pushing up against the World Champion, the two grapplers both mouthing words of ill intent at each other as their respective partners get into a stare-down right beside them. Dane, the most vitriolic of the foursome inside the ring, shoves Mike hard in the chest and throws a middle finger up directly into Dan Ryan’s face. Ryan’s attention turns immediately to his former partner and things are about to explode when Boettcher somehow manages to wedge himself between Dane and certain death and push him back into the corner.
Joe Hoffman: This is about to escalate. Quickly.
Benny Newell: We can only be so lucky.
On the other side of the ring Mike has recovered quickly, nothing hurt but perhaps his ego. Dan Ryan is completely unphased, as is his way. A quick strategy session later and the Champ has Dan Ryan step through the ropes to the apron and he turns and points at Dane and Stevens, demanding that one of either of them come and get embarrassed real quick. Boettcher gives them the “one in, one out” the speech and Dane steps out quickly. Stevens tries to have something to say but Dane very audibly cuts him off with the purest logic there could ever be.
Eric Dane: Go on, big boy, you wanted to bring the Group of Death down a peg or two right? Now’s your chance!
The bell rings.
The Only Star grabs the tag rope and makes a very big deal of shooing Stevens away. Stevens turns around and almost trips over the World Champion. Mike Best, in typical Mike Best fashion, has one hand behind his back and the other pointing at his jaw. He offers Stevens a free shot to start the match. Stevens smirks, Mike puts both hands behind his back and keeps talking shit. Stevens winds up and takes a big ol’ Texas swing at the World Champion that is easily dodged by the smaller, quicker Best. Pleased as punch with himself Mike steps right back in, daring Stevens to take another shot. He does.
Benny Newell: Swing and a miss! Steeee-rike TWO!
Dan Ryan watches on without much of an expression past bored anticipation. Across the ring Eric Dane slaps the turnbuckle pad and yells a few choice expletives with no particular target in mind. Stevens winds up one more time, Mike makes the same move to duck out of the way but Stevens anticipates it this time. The Big Texan grabs the World Champion by the shoulders and bodily lifts and tosses him across the ring into the neutral corner.
Joe Hoffman: Things are about to turn around for the World Champion!
Stevens rushes into the corner for a big splash but Mike, quick as a cat and twice as catty, acrobatically slips out to the apron and then hops up and catches Stevens upside the head with an Enzuigiri that staggers him. Eager to follow up Mike grabs the top rope and pulls himself up, coiling like a spring and launching himself off at Stevens with what looks like a Springboard Super Knee but Stevens has the wherewithal to catch the Champ, pivot, and drop him hard on the mat with the Double S Spinebuster! Stevens pops up to his feet and turns to his partner in the corner and starts jawing back and telling Dane to mind his business as he’s got Mike under control. Dane shrugs at him as he grabs Mike off the mat and pushes him back into the corner again, this time lighting him up with an overhand chop that leaves a handprint on Mike’s chest and follows up immediately with a knife-edge chop to the same exact spot.
WOOOOOOO!!!
Joe Hoffman: Yikes! Stevens is lighting Mike Best up with those chops!
Benny Newell: Give him time, he’ll fuck it up.
Stevens lights the champ up again, and again, and he keeps on going, ramping up into a flurry of nasty chop after chop to Mike’s chest! The champ can’t do a thing about it either as Stevens chops his chest into actual hamburger meat. On the apron Dan Ryan raises an eyebrow, it’s the most emotion he’s shown yet tonight. Dane’s face scrunches up, glad to not be on the receiving end of any of that. Boettcher finally steps in and yells for Stevens to get him out of the corner before starting a count. Somewhere between three and four Stevens hits the last and the loudest of the chops before stepping back, spinning, and slamming into Mike, crushing him into the corner with a Texas Lariat!
Joe Hoffman: He squashed him like a bug!
Stevens lets Mike stumble out of the corner then shoves him again, this time hard into his own corner. Stevens gives Dan Ryan a smirk and tells him to come get some. Mike Best is happy to oblige Stevens and reaches up for a tag, the Ego Buster obliges him and steps over the top rope and into the ring. The bigger Texan approaches Scott Stevens with what amounts to a smirk curling onto his lips.
Benny Newell: Well, this is gonna be a thing!
Stevens meets Dan Ryan with a forearm shiver, Dan replies in kind, the next thing anybody knows the two big Texans are standing toe-to-toe in the center of the ring, throwing forearms, chops, and dirty punches back and forth. Neither man backs down an inch, and as the time goes on the strikes get harder and faster, the crowd is into it and even Dane and Best look impressed in their respective corners as the big beef-slappin’ party continues on in the ring! Finally Dan Ryan takes the advantage with nasty elbow to the face that crosses Stevens’ eyes! Another one staggers Stevens back a bit and then Dan backs him into the corner.
Joe Hoffman: The Hammer of GoD is just relentless!
Benny Newell: Scort Stovers has better be glad that Ryan hit him with his left arm, and not that bionically-braced right one! Talk about dropping the hammer…
Joe Hoffman: Well, it’s pretty common knowledge that Ryan’s been perfecting his new Hammer of GoD finisher, and that it does in fact involve that right elbow and that contraption he calls a brace! So yeah, I guess you’re right about Stevens being lucky here so far…
Ryan grabs Stevens by the arm and sends him hard across the ring and into the opposite turnbuckle where he follows him in with a jaw-shattering big boot to the face. Dan finally cracks a smile as he then grabs Stevens and plants him hard with a full nelson slam! He drops down into an easy lateral press.
ONE!
TWO!
Ryan pulls him up.
Benny Newell: So much for that luck…
Eric Dane has had enough. He’s in the ring pretty quickly but Boettcher is quicker and he cuts Dane off before he can get in and interfere and pushes him back into his own corner. Meanwhile Dan Ryan pulls Stevens up and tosses him into the GoD corner where he and Mike Best both get a couple of good licks in. Mike wraps the tag rope around his neck and squeezes while Dan just unloads on Stevens. Dane, meanwhile, makes a big show of arguing with Boettcher and pointing and gesturing across the ring. When Boettcher finally does turn Mike walks out of the corner, his hands raised in a neutral gesture and Ryan pulls him out of the corner and into a particularly nasty looking Belly-to-Belly Suplex! He holds on for another pinfall.
ONE!
TW-
Joe Hoffman: NO! ERIC DANE IS IN TO BREAK IT UP WITH A STOMP TO RYAN’S HEAD!
Ryan snarls, Boettcher is up quickly, he tries pushing Dane back into his corner but Dane spins out like a linebacker! Dane doesn’t go after Ryan though, rather he grabs Stevens by the head and arms and drags him back into their corner where he dumps him, hops out onto the apron, and then tags himself into the match for the first time. Stevens manages to roll his way out onto the apron to recuperate. At The Only Star’s approach, Dan Ryan cracks a full on smile. Seven people in the audience have big boy heart attacks right then and there, it’s that goddamn scary.
Benny Newell: Well I’ll be fucked, this might actually get interesting!
Joe Hoffman: Is Dane… calling for a Test of Strength?
Benny Newell: HA! He sure as fuck is!
And so it is, Dane throws his right hand up, challenging the biggest, strongest, and outright scariest motherfucker this side of Frederick F. Kruger to an honest to goodness Test of Strength. Ryan reaches “up” to grab Dane’s hand in a knuckle-lock but The Only Star quickly backs away. On his face is a look that says there’s no way he’s ever gonna actually go through with that. Dan Ryan rolls his eyes. Dane smirks and steps back in, this time raising his left hand. Ryan hesitates a moment before reaching up. Dane steps back again, tapping the side of his head as he smirks at the much larger man in front of him.
Benny Newell: Bah. I spoke too soon.
Dane steps in one more time, this time with both arms up. Dan Ryan snarls and before Dane can back out the Ego Buster grabs both of his hands and squeezes Dane into the most vicious Greco-Roman Knuckle Lock this side of Greece and Rome.
Eric Dane: AAAHHHHHHHHHH FUCK!
Dane kicks Dan Ryan in the dick, causing him to release Dane’s now freshly mangled fingers from his vice like grip.
Joe Hoffman: LOW BLOW!
Benny Newell: The referee didn’t see it!
He did, though, and he chastises Dane about it. The Only Star blows him off and presses the attack, driving a hard elbow into the side of Ryan’s head that he follows up with a Million Dollar Knee Lift that straightens the Ego Buster up. It doesn’t appear to have hurt them though, as he simply smiles at Dane and presses back in himself.
Benny Newell: Look! Dane’s scared of Dan Ryan!
Joe Hoffman: Well. I mean. He did pretty much exactly say that in the leadup to the match this week, sooooo…
If it weren’t for quick thinking Dane would probably be dead by now. Dan Ryan certainly is trying to get his hands on him, but Dane stops him in his tracks with a particularly brutal eye-rake. Ryan growls, the rage growing, but he finds himself back near enough to his corner and Mike Best extends a hand. Ryan looks at the World Champion then back to Dane who feigns fear, waggling his fingers in front of him and shrugging his shoulders as he taunts them both. Ryan tags the extended hand and steps out, allowing the World Champion to step in.
Benny Newell: Here we go, Joe, ten years in the making we’ve got Eric Dane and Mike Best squaring off for the first time in an HOW ring! If I didn’t think they were both regurgitated hooker spit I might be on the edge of my seat!
It’s not to be, though, as Dane backs away, tagging the barely recovered Scott Stevens on the chest and immediately stepping out, motioning for Stevens to get in there and take care of his light work. Annoyed, but unable to do anything about it Stevens turns around to once again be met by the World Champion with both hands behind his back and a goofy smirk across his face. Stevens, buttons officially pressed, reaches in and instead of punching at the champ he grabs him by the head and arms and sends him up and over, sprawling into the corner with a Head and Arm Suplex. He rushes in to press the attack, grabs Mike and lines him up for another blistering chop!
Joe Hoffman: Stevens is about to punish the cham-
Benny Hoffman: Too soon.
But Mike ducks the chop, rolls out, resets, and connects hard with a running knee strike that sends Stevens stumbling into the corner. The champ backs up, takes measure, takes a couple of steps to pick up some steam before stepping up on the middle rope and absolutely clobbering Stevens with a Corner Knee that crosses his eyes.
Benny Newell: Look at him, he’s dreamin’!
Joe Hoffman: Stevens certainly does appear out on his feet!
Mike gives Stevens some space, and on spaghetti legs he stumbles out of the corner. He’s pretty much out on his feet, but somewhere in the back of his brain he knows his only hope is to reach the corner and tag Eric Dane back in! The Only Star reaches in as far as he can without letting go of the tag rope, and with the World Champion and the Hammer of GoD watching on Stevens take another step toward his corner before weeble-wobbling into an almost face-plant except he manages to extend a hand for the tag!
Benny Newell: Here we go again!
Joe Hoffman: Dane with the hot tag-
Benny Newell: HA! No he didn’t!
At the last possible second Eric pulls back, letting Stevens flop face-first down to the mat. The Only Star drops off the apron, and much to the chagrin of Mike Best he backs away, once again tapping a finger at his head, denoting just exactly how smart that he’s quite sure that he is.
Joe Hoffman: Surprise, surprise, Eric Dane’s not there when somebody needs him.
Benny Newell: I know, ain’t it great?!
Dane makes his way around ringside. It looks for a moment like Dan Ryan might drop down to the floor and give chase, but in the end he turns his attention back into the ring where Mike Best has already decided to put this one to sleep as he lines up, waits, and just as Stevens pulls himself up to one knee Mike launches at him, steps off of Stevens’ exposed knee, and collides his own knee with Steven’s face, crossing his eyes and loosening a few teeth in the process.
Joe Hoffman: I KNEED A HERO! IT’S ALL ACADEMIC FROM HERE!
Benny Newell: About damn time! My whiskey ran dry four minutes ago and I’m gonna get real pissy if it hits six.
The champ drops down and makes a lateral press, hooking the far leg. Matt Boettcher is as always right in position and he slides in to count the pin.
ONE!
TWO!!
THREE!!!
Boettcher calls for the bell, it rings once again.
Bryan McVay: Your winners of the match… Dan Ryan and Mike Best… THE GROOOOOUP OF DEEEAAAAAAAAAAATHHHH!!!
Eric Dane saunters toward the ramp, ignoring the fans’ vitriol for leaving Scott Stevens out to dry, and turns to admire his handiwork while slowly backing up the incline. The Texas Scorpion is sprawled out on the canvas, Mike Best is making the cover, and Eric’s leaving Chicago feeling like a winner despite a notch in the L column.
For as smart as he thinks himself to be, and as cocky as everyone knows he is, he forgets the cardinal rule of keeping your head on a swivel. If he hadn’t, he might have noticed movement through the crowd, a rising swell of cheers, and two knees – one braced – being aimed directly at his face.
Benny Newell: No no no no no, this isn’t fucking happening….
Eric flies off the ramp and into the side barricade as Lindsay Troy sticks the landing and immediately scrambles back to where Dane is, raining down relentless fists onto his head, red hot and full of fury. When he tries to cover up, that’s when the kicks to the ribs starts.
Joe Hoffman: Lindsay Troy! From the crowd! The flying double knees find their mark and Eric Dane is in a world of trouble!
Benny Newell: Godfuckingdammit, she should be dead! DANE, YOU HAD ONE JOB, YOU PIECE OF SHIT.
Joe Hoffman: It’s almost one month to the day since Eric attacked Lindsay with a pipe and injured her knee, and she is back with a vengeance! Kicks to the ribs! Dane falls to the side, oh! Stomps to the kidneys! She’s not giving him any quarter!
Benny Newell: He’s gonna need whatever quarters he can get after Lee pulls his fucking contract and kicks him back to that New Orleans sweatbox.
Eventually, Lindsay grabs two fistfuls of Eric’s dirty blonde hair, wrangles him to his feet, drags him back toward ringside and heaves him back-first against the heavy ringsteps. Eric crumples against them, breathing heavy, holding the back of his head. Troy’s foot comes flying toward his face and he manages to dive out of the way while the steps dislodge the rest of the way from the ringpost and tumble onto the protective mats around the ring. This only forces her to change tactics and kick him in the ribs again, driving the air out of his body.
If he doesn’t have multiple broken ribs by now, it might be a miracle.
Don’t tell Steve Harrison.
Joe Hoffman: I have never seen Lindsay Troy like this, Benny, she’s merciless. A woman possessed.
Benny Newell: This is outright assault and savagery; you think she’d never gotten hit with a pipe before. She’s fucking Mike Best, anyway; with the way he talks, he lays down pipe all the—
Joe Hoffman: BENJAMIN NEWELL!
Benny Newell: WHAT?!?!
Scott Stevens has managed to roll out under the bottom rope and make his way to the locker room, steering clear of Lindsay Troy’s wrath. Matt Boettcher has climbed out as well to maybe – bless his heart – try and stop the Queen of the Ring from further dismantling the Only Star, but one glare is enough for him to know that there’s no appealing to her sense of reason, and he smartly backs off. In the ring, a surprised Michael Lee Best and Dan Ryan watch their stablemate take her pound of flesh.
Lindsay keeps one eye on Eric, who is beginning to cough up blood while stumbling to his feet, and lifts the ring skirt up. She looks around for a weapon of choice and finally yanks a chair from underneath. Sparing no hesitation, Lindsay cracks a homerun right to his ribcage and then another one to the back of his head before dropping the chair, hooking him in a chancery, and capturing his leg
Joe Hoffman: Oh this doesn’t look good. Whatever Lindsay’s planning to do, she could break his neck.
Benny Newell: Would serve him right, then; he should have finished the job he was hired to do.
With a heave and a roar, the Lady of the Hour spikes the Antagonist onto the chair with a small package driver. If any electricity was still on in Dane’s head before this, it’s fully out now.
Lindsay takes a moment to sit and glower at a prone, bloody-mouthed, bloody-headed Eric Dane. It doesn’t register right away that the crowd is cheering, hands are pounding the barricade in front of her, phones are out and recording. But when it does, the Queen seems to come back to herself, looking around at the High Octane Faithful, and a tiny smile forms at the corners of her mouth.
Troy rises to a knee, then up to her feet, and vaults herself up to a sitting position on the barricade. For the first time, she looks up to the ring, to Michael and Dan, to their startled faces, and that tiny smile grows into that Lindsay Troy smirk.
With a wink to the boys, she disappears again through the crowd.
Refueled comes to a close.
All Hail the Queen.