Post by Jman2k3 on Jul 9, 2018 22:23:55 GMT
March 2 Glory cuts to the Hall of Fame commentary duo of Joe Hoffman and Benny Newell, for them to introduce the final match of the evening, with Benny looking a little worse for wear, having been drinking continuously throughout the show so far. Joe Hoffman, however, appears as professional as ever; ready to call the match.
Joe Hoffman: Folks, we are about ready for a main event that nobody would have expected a few weeks ago…
Benny Newell: Right – Scott Stevens headlining a show? It’s so fucking backwards, it only makes sense in Mexico!
Joe Hoffman: Nevertheless, Lee Best felt that this match deserved the honor and I have to say, Benny, I think he was right! These four men have put forth a tremendous effort over the past few weeks to get themselves noticed and damn it, they’ve succeeded!
Benny Newell: Did Stevens put another tampon in his mouth to make people pay attention to him or something?
As Joe Hoffman sighs and shakes his head in an act of frustration, Bryan McVay steps forward into the center of the ring to begins his announcements.
Bryan McVay: Ladies and gentlemen, the following match is a tag team match, scheduled for one fall and it is for the High Octane Wrestling Tag Team Championship!
McVay pauses for a moment, giving the fans an opportunity to clap cheer enthusiastically, in anticipation.
Bryan McVay: Introducing first; the referee for this match: Hailing from Mexico…
McVay is drowned out by the thunderous applause rippling throughout the Azteca Stadium, as Joel Hortega makes his way out from behind the curtain. He waves to the crowd as he makes his way past the commentary team and down the ramp, towards the ring.
Joe Hoffman: Listen to this ovation for Joel Hortega!
Bryan McVay: He is a member of the 2011 Hall of Fame class… Joel…. HORRRTEEEEEGGAAAAAAAA!!!
The volume of applause increases, as Hortega climbs onto the apron and steps inside the ring. He continues to wave at his fellow countrymen, as Fall Out Boy’s “Centuries” hits.
Bryan McVay: Introducing the challengers: At a combined weight of four-hundred and sixty-one pounds… Scott Stevens and Ryan McKenna: The THOROUUUUGHBREDDSSSSS!
Stevens and McKenna walk out together to a positive reaction from the crowd, but nothing like the one that the referee had just received. They scan the crowd for a moment from atop the ramp, before walking down towards the ring.
Benny Newell: Even Joel Hortega gets a better reaction than Stevens!
Joe Hoffman: Part of Scott Stevens’ preparation in the lead up to this match was to have a tour of the historic Mayan temples here in Mexico. Supposedly, it was to relax, but I have to question just how relaxing a fifteen-hour bus ride from Mexico City to Chichen Itza can really be…
Benny Newell: Chicken what?
Joe Hoffman: Chi-… Never mind.
As Hoffman once again shakes his head at Benny’s comments, Stevens and McKenna slide into the ring and pose for the crowd. Cameras flash throughout the stadium, as their music stops; replaced immediately by Rage Against The Machine’s 1992 hit “Killing In The Name”. The impending arrival of the defending HOW Tag Team Champions draws a negative response from the crowd, as Noah Hanson walks out onto the stage, his belt draped over his shoulder.
Joe Hoffman: There’s not much love for Noah Hanson here tonight, Benny…
Benny Newell: Because nobody wants to see their Grandfather wrestle, Joe! How old is this guy?!
Joe Hoffman: Noah Hanson insists he is thirty-two years old, Benny, although I do question that myself, sometimes.
Benny Newell: Bullshit, Joe! There’s no fucking way that old cunt is thirty-two!
Hanson looks across at the announce table for a moment and gives Benny an angry glare, before beginning his walk down the ramp.
Benny Newell: Yeah, you better walk away…
Hanson begins hurling abuse at the crowd as he walks down the ramp, but stops as he reaches ringside. He looks up at McKenna and Stevens in the ring, with a patronizing smile plastered across his face, before wagging a finger towards them; indicating that he was not about to enter the ring. McKenna and Stevens both wave him in, as “The Catalyst”, by Linkin Park, replaces Noah Hanson’s music.
Benny Newell: Oh for fuck sake. I forgot this dick was in the match…
Darin Zion walks out onto the stage to a similar reaction to the one his team-mate received, with his title belt fastened around his waist. He smiles at the crowd, flashing his pearly white teeth, before beginning his walk down the ramp, towards his fellow Tag Team Champion.
Joe Hoffman: Zion insisted this week that he deserves a shot at the HOW World Championship, Benny.
Benny Newell: That hooker I fucked last night insisted she was legal, too, Hoffman: It doesn’t mean it’s a fact!
Joe Hoffman: I… I don’t even…
Zion catches up to his partner at ringside and they greet each other with a fist-bump, before walking around the ring in opposite directions; circling their opponents. They wait on the outside for a moment, watching Stevens and McKenna’s movements.
Bryan McVay: … And their opponents: Weighing in at a combined weight of four-hundred and sixty-two pounds… They are the High Octane Wrestling Tag Team Champions: Noah Hanson and Darin Zion… Sex. And. MONEYYYYY!
Bryan McVay makes his way over to the ropes and steps out of the ring, as Joel Hortega gestures for The Thoroughbreds to make their way over to a neutral corner. As they do so, Sex and Money climb up onto the apron and cautiously enter the ring; keeping an eye on their opponents the entire time. Joel Hortega is handed the belts and raises them high in the air; showing off what these two teams are competing for. Having paraded them around all four corners of the ring, the referee hands the belts over to the timekeeper, as Scott Stevens and Noah Hanson step out of the ring, onto the apron, while offering words of encouragement to their respective team-mates. Joel Hortega gestures for the bell and this match is officially under way.
Joe Hoffman: Here we go!
Darin Zion and Ryan McKenna circle each other a few times, before reaching in for a collar-and-elbow tie-up. It doesn’t last long, however, with McKenna quickly maneuvering Zion into a headlock. Zion responds by pushing McKenna towards the ropes, bouncing him against them, before sending him running back across the ring. McKenna bounces off the other side and rushes back towards Darin Zion, knocking him down with a shoulder block. Zion is quickly back to his feet, however; charging towards McKenna, only to be taken back down to the mat with an arm drag.
McKenna climbs to his feet and is quickly followed by Darin Zion, whom once again rushes towards his opponent. This time, however, Zion ducks underneath McKenna’s attempted clothesline and bounces off the ropes; dropping McKenna with a shoulder block of his own. McKenna climbs to his feet and charges towards Zion this time, only to be taken down to the mat with a hiptoss. McKenna climbs back to his feet quickly and the two men stare each other down, as the crowd shows its appreciation for the skills on display from both of them.
Joe Hoffman: A great technical battle between Ryan McKenna and Darin Zion to start this match…
Benny Newell: I fucking knew you got a boner from that arm drag, Hoffman!
McKenna and Zion step forward once again, looking set to tie-up once more, only for Zion to duck underneath the Scotsman’s advances and complete a front roll; tagging in Noah Hanson as he climbs to his feet. Zion smiles at McKenna; happy to have out-smarted his opponent. McKenna smirks back at him, as the Sex and Money duo swap places. Hanson immediately advances on McKenna; looking for a tie-up of his own with the former LSD Champion. Ryan has it scouted, however; grabbing Hanson by the back of the head and pulling him down, before delivering three rapid knee strikes to his face. Noah is not deterred, however; responding with a shove that sends McKenna sprawling across the mat.
Joe Hoffman: Noah Hanson’s power was a little too much for McKenna there, Benny. He might need a different approach.
Benny Newell: Just kick his fucking walking stick away and watch him fall. It’s an easy three count!
McKenna climbs to his feet and stares at Hanson for a moment, catching his breath. They circle each other, before Hanson lunges forward; looking to drop McKenna with a clubbing blow. Ryan ducks underneath, however, before kicking the bigger man in the back of the knee; causing it to buckle and dropping Hanson down onto one knee. Hanson is quick to regain his footing, but the momentary interruption is enough to give McKenna a chance to bounce off the ropes and deliver a low dropkick to Hanson’s knee, which this time sends the bigger man crashing to the canvas, holding onto his wounded leg. Ryan quickly climbs to his feet and heads over to his corner; tagging in Scott Stevens.
Joe Hoffman: Ryan McKenna showed us that he can adapt to different styles there, Benny and now he’s displaying his intelligence by tagging in the fresh man.
Benny Newell: Nobody has ever shown intelligence by tagging in Scott Stevens, Hoffman! That’s the dumbest fucking thing you have ever said!
McKenna steps out onto the apron, as his team-mate takes his place inside the ring. Stevens immediately approaches Noah Hanson, whom is struggling to get back up to a vertical base. Stevens grabs Noah by the head and pulls him up to his feet, before whipping him across the ring. As Hanson bounces against the ropes, Stevens charges forward to greet him with a running knee strike to the gut, which sends Hanson crashing to the mat once more!
Joe Hoffman: It’s looking good for Stevens so far, Benny!
Benny Newell: Shut the fuck up.
Hanson rolls over onto his knees, desperate to catch his breath, but Stevens is relentless; pulling him up by the head. Hanson, in an act of desperation, boots Stevens in the gut and quickly follows up with a DDT, sending Stevens sprawling and leaving them both flat-out on the canvas. Referee Hortega begins his count; which the crowd joins in with:
UNO!!!
DOS!!!
TRES!!!
Hanson is first to move; rolling over onto all fours and looking over at his stricken opponent.
CUATRO!!!
CINCO!!!
Stevens finally begins to move; rolling onto his knees as Hanson reaches for the ropes to pull himself up.
SEIS!!!
Both men stagger to their feet, drawing a brief jeer from the crowd, whom were enjoying counting along with their fellow countryman. Hanson and Stevens stumble towards each other, with Stevens throwing a labored punch towards his opponent. Hanson raises an arm to block it, however, before retaliating with a right hand of his own that rattles Stevens. He follows up with another; sending the Texan reeling back towards the ropes, before charging forward and hitting Stevens with a clothesline that sends both men sprawling over the top rope and down to the hard mat below!
Joe Hoffman: Noah Hanson may have just decapitated Scott Stevens with that, Benny!
Benny Newell: Calm the fuck down, Joe!
Hoffman’s excitement is mirrored by the crowd, however, as the buzz around the stadium increases. Both Hanson and Stevens lay motionless on the floor, as Darin Zion drops down from the apron and approaches the pair. Seeing this, McKenna hops into the ring and begins rushing across towards them, only for Joel Hortega to hold him back.
With the referee distracted, Darin Zion stomps away at Stevens’ sternum a few times, before helping Noah Hanson to his feet. Zion directs his partner to get back in the ring, before pulling Scott Stevens up to his feet and rolling him back under the bottom rope. Zion holds Stevens’ head for a moment; stopping him from getting to his feet, while Noah stomps away at him a few times.
Joe Hoffman: Oh, come on!
Benny Newell: What?! Stevens deserves it!
Zion finally releases his hold on the Texan and steps away, as Ryan McKenna angrily steps back out onto the apron, under Joel Hortega’s instruction.
Joe Hoffman: Finally, the referee is regaining some control in this match!
Hortega gestures for Zion to get back in his corner, which he does as Hanson pulls Stevens back up to a vertical base. Hanson wrenches Stevens’ arm into a wrist-lock, before reaching over and tagging in Zion. Darin steps inside and boots Stevens in the gut, before both Zion and Hanson hook the Texan’s arms and lifting him into the air; dropping him down hard onto the mat with a double brainbuster!
Joe Hoffman: What a move by the Sex and Money duo!
Benny Newell: It just proves that any two fucks can beat the crap out of Scott Stevens, Hoffman! Nothing more!
With McKenna protesting his frustrations from his corner, Joel Hortega finally orders Hanson out of the ring, as Zion stomps away at Stevens a few times. Satisfied that The Scorpion is suitably subdued, Zion quickly climbs the nearest turnbuckle and looks down at his fallen opponent. Gingerly, Zion turns around; facing away from Stevens, before leaping into the air and hitting his opponent with an incredible Moonsault!
Joe Hoffman: Great athleticism from Darin Zion!
Zion grabs his midsection for a moment, before covering his opponent. Hortega drops down for the count, once again assisted by the crowd:
UNO!!!
DOS!!!
Before Hortega can count the three, Ryan McKenna breaks the pin-fall attempt with a desperate, diving forearm that’s enough to unsettle Zion. Hortega is quick to his feet, ordering McKenna out of the ring, as Noah Hanson puts one foot inside the ropes; ready to attack. McKenna smiles at him, arrogantly, as he walks backwards towards his own corner.
Joe Hoffman: Ryan McKenna stated this week that he will leave HOW if he and Scott Stevens lose this match, Benny – he may have just saved his career with that desperation save!
Benny Newell: He really said he’d quit? Well fuck, Joe, you could have told me sooner! Come on, Zion – put that tampon eating motherfucker down!
With McKenna back in his corner, Zion uses the ropes to pull himself to his feet, before tagging in his team-mate. Hanson steps inside and heads straight over to Stevens; laying a boot to his stomach, before pulling The Scorpion up by his hair and locking his arms around the Texan’s waist. Before Stevens can react, Hanson sends him back down to the mat with a powerful belly-to-belly suplex! Noah is straight back on the offensive; grabbing Stevens by the head and placing him in a rear chinlock.
Joe Hoffman: Noah Hanson is just wearing Stevens down here, Benny.
Benny Newell: Just fucking finish it already and make that Scottish prick cry into his fucking haggis on his way out of HOW!
Joe Hoffman: Do you know what haggis is, Benny?
Benny Newell: Shut the fuck up, Hoffhole!
With Hanson’s arm tightly squeezed around his head, Stevens begins to fight back, pulling himself up onto his knees. With all the strength he can muster, Stevens lifts Hanson into the air; dropping him with a back body drop that sends them both crashing back onto the canvas! Neither man can move, as Joel Hortega and the crowd once again begin to count:
UNO!!!
Joe Hoffman: What a desperation move by Scott Stevens!
DOS!!!
TRES!!!
CUATRO!!!
Both men finally begin to stir; rolling over onto their stomachs and pulling themselves up onto all fours.
CINCO!!!
Hanson reaches for the ropes to pull himself up to a vertical base, as Stevens begins crawling towards his corner.
SEIS!!!
Noah Hanson staggers up to a vertical base and stumbles towards his corner, as Scott Stevens desperately inches closer towards McKenna, looking for the tag. The crowd begins to ramp up the volume in the stadium as Stevens crawls closer still, but Hanson tags in Darin Zion, whom eagerly jumps over the top rope and chases after the Texan.
Benny Newell: Zion is in!
Just as Zion reaches Stevens, the Texan lunges forward with everything he has left and tags in Ryan McKenna, drawing a thunderous ovation from the Mexican crowd!
Joe Hoffman: McKenna is in!
Benny Newell: Fuck!
McKenna quickly steps into the ring; ducking the oncoming Darin Zion as he attempts a clothesline. Releasing all of the pent-up frustration he had from watching idly from the sidelines, McKenna punches away at Zion, sending him staggering back into the ropes. Ryan quickly boots Zion in the gut, before dropping him with a DDT.
Joe Hoffman: Ryan McKenna is on fire here, Benny!
McKenna jumps to his feet and immediately climbs the turnbuckle; steadying himself as Zion staggers back up to his feet. Picking his moment perfectly, McKenna dives off the top rope; connecting with a missile dropkick that sends Darin Zion crashing across the canvas!
Joe Hoffman: What a move by Ryan McKenna! This one could be over!
Benny Newell: Get up, Zion, you piece of shit!
Ryan McKenna grabs Zion for the pin; hooking his leg. Hortega drops to the mat to begin the count; aided as always by his excited home crowd:
UNO!!!
DOS!!!
TR-No!!!
Zion somehow gets a shoulder up just in time, much to McKenna’s surprise. He rises to his feet and begins berating Joel Hortega, which immediately draws a chorus of boos from the Azteca Stadium crowd!
Benny Newell: Fucking idiot! Of course they’re going to boo you for yelling at that taco-eating cunt-nugget!
Zion grabs the ropes to help himself up, as McKenna finally turns his focus back towards his opponent. He advances on Zion and grabs him by the head, before delivering a series of knee-strikes to his temple that leaves Zion staggering; struggling to stay upright. Sensing his opportunity, McKenna whips Zion into the ropes. As Zion bounces back towards him, McKenna maneuvers into position for the Scatter Shot!
Joe Hoffman: This could be over right here!
Desperately, Zion delivers an elbow to the side of McKenna’s head, followed by another, which forces Ryan to release his opponent and step back. Zion follows up by whipping McKenna across the ring; allowing Scott Stevens to tag himself in, without Darin noticing. As McKenna bounds back towards him, Zion rushes forward, before delivering an acrobatic spinning heel kick that sends McKenna crashing down onto the canvas, before skidding completely out of the ring onto the ground.
Joe Hoffman: What a move by Zion! Ryan McKenna is out cold!
Benny Newell: Fucking Scottish fuck. I hope he never wakes up!
Darin Zion looks down at McKenna for a moment, before turning around and walking straight into a mighty clothesline from Scott Stevens! Zion spins through the air for a moment, before landing hard on his back and Stevens covers him for the pin:
Joe Hoffman: Scott Stevens could win this right here!
UNO!!!
Benny Newell: No!!!
DOS!!!
Noah Hanson with the save! A boot to the side of Scott Stevens’ head is enough to break the pin-fall attempt and Hortega quickly rises to his feet, yelling at Hanson to leave the ring. Noah argues with the referee, however, until Ryan McKenna reaches in from outside the ring and pulls Hanson’s feet out from under him! Hanson crashes to the floor and McKenna pulls him out of the ring. The pair begin brawling on the outside, as Scott Stevens rises to his feet; ready to pounce on Darin Zion as he struggles to find his vertical base.
Joe Hoffman: McKenna and Hanson are beating the hell out of each other on the outside, but Scott Stevens is stalking Zion on the inside! This could be the chance he needs!
Zion finally staggers to his feet and Stevens rushes towards him; grabbing Darin by the head and looking to deliver his signature move!
Joe Hoffman: TOXIC STING!!!
…
Benny Newell: NO!!!! REVERSAL!!!
As Stevens lunges forward, looking to hit his finishing maneuver, Darin Zion counters by using Stevens’ momentum to reverse it into The Catalyst Crossface! Hortega drops to the mat and begins yelling at Stevens in Spanish; asking him if he wants to quit!
Joe Hoffman: Here comes Ryan McKenna!
McKenna slides into the ring and lunges towards Zion, but Noah Hanson grabs him by the leg, before pulling him out of the ring in the same manner that McKenna had done just moments earlier!
Benny Newell: There goes Ryan McKenna! Haha!
With nowhere to go and nobody to save him, Scott Stevens has no option but to tap! Joel Hortega rises to his feet and calls for the bell!
DING DING DING!!!
Darin Zion releases his hold on Scott Stevens, as Bryan McVay makes it official:
Bryan McVay: Ladies and gentlemen, here are your winners… And STILL HOW Tag Team Champions… Sex… And… MMMONNNNEEEEYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!
Noah Hanson slides into the ring to celebrate with his partner, as Joel Hortega asks for the title belts from ringside. The referee then hands the belts over to Hanson and Zion; raising their hands in victory!
Joe Hoffman: My God, what a match! Scott Stevens and Ryan McKenna gave it everything they had, but Zion and Hanson were just too strong!
Benny Newell: See you later, McKenna! Haha!
Joe Hoffman: Folks, thank you for tuning in to March 2 Glory; we’ll see you at Thursday Night Turmoil!
As Joe Hoffman damn near loses a lung from all the excitement, March 2 Glory comes to a close with Sex and Money standing tall in the Azteca Stadium!
Joe Hoffman: Folks, we are about ready for a main event that nobody would have expected a few weeks ago…
Benny Newell: Right – Scott Stevens headlining a show? It’s so fucking backwards, it only makes sense in Mexico!
Joe Hoffman: Nevertheless, Lee Best felt that this match deserved the honor and I have to say, Benny, I think he was right! These four men have put forth a tremendous effort over the past few weeks to get themselves noticed and damn it, they’ve succeeded!
Benny Newell: Did Stevens put another tampon in his mouth to make people pay attention to him or something?
As Joe Hoffman sighs and shakes his head in an act of frustration, Bryan McVay steps forward into the center of the ring to begins his announcements.
Bryan McVay: Ladies and gentlemen, the following match is a tag team match, scheduled for one fall and it is for the High Octane Wrestling Tag Team Championship!
McVay pauses for a moment, giving the fans an opportunity to clap cheer enthusiastically, in anticipation.
Bryan McVay: Introducing first; the referee for this match: Hailing from Mexico…
McVay is drowned out by the thunderous applause rippling throughout the Azteca Stadium, as Joel Hortega makes his way out from behind the curtain. He waves to the crowd as he makes his way past the commentary team and down the ramp, towards the ring.
Joe Hoffman: Listen to this ovation for Joel Hortega!
Bryan McVay: He is a member of the 2011 Hall of Fame class… Joel…. HORRRTEEEEEGGAAAAAAAA!!!
The volume of applause increases, as Hortega climbs onto the apron and steps inside the ring. He continues to wave at his fellow countrymen, as Fall Out Boy’s “Centuries” hits.
Bryan McVay: Introducing the challengers: At a combined weight of four-hundred and sixty-one pounds… Scott Stevens and Ryan McKenna: The THOROUUUUGHBREDDSSSSS!
Stevens and McKenna walk out together to a positive reaction from the crowd, but nothing like the one that the referee had just received. They scan the crowd for a moment from atop the ramp, before walking down towards the ring.
Benny Newell: Even Joel Hortega gets a better reaction than Stevens!
Joe Hoffman: Part of Scott Stevens’ preparation in the lead up to this match was to have a tour of the historic Mayan temples here in Mexico. Supposedly, it was to relax, but I have to question just how relaxing a fifteen-hour bus ride from Mexico City to Chichen Itza can really be…
Benny Newell: Chicken what?
Joe Hoffman: Chi-… Never mind.
As Hoffman once again shakes his head at Benny’s comments, Stevens and McKenna slide into the ring and pose for the crowd. Cameras flash throughout the stadium, as their music stops; replaced immediately by Rage Against The Machine’s 1992 hit “Killing In The Name”. The impending arrival of the defending HOW Tag Team Champions draws a negative response from the crowd, as Noah Hanson walks out onto the stage, his belt draped over his shoulder.
Joe Hoffman: There’s not much love for Noah Hanson here tonight, Benny…
Benny Newell: Because nobody wants to see their Grandfather wrestle, Joe! How old is this guy?!
Joe Hoffman: Noah Hanson insists he is thirty-two years old, Benny, although I do question that myself, sometimes.
Benny Newell: Bullshit, Joe! There’s no fucking way that old cunt is thirty-two!
Hanson looks across at the announce table for a moment and gives Benny an angry glare, before beginning his walk down the ramp.
Benny Newell: Yeah, you better walk away…
Hanson begins hurling abuse at the crowd as he walks down the ramp, but stops as he reaches ringside. He looks up at McKenna and Stevens in the ring, with a patronizing smile plastered across his face, before wagging a finger towards them; indicating that he was not about to enter the ring. McKenna and Stevens both wave him in, as “The Catalyst”, by Linkin Park, replaces Noah Hanson’s music.
Benny Newell: Oh for fuck sake. I forgot this dick was in the match…
Darin Zion walks out onto the stage to a similar reaction to the one his team-mate received, with his title belt fastened around his waist. He smiles at the crowd, flashing his pearly white teeth, before beginning his walk down the ramp, towards his fellow Tag Team Champion.
Joe Hoffman: Zion insisted this week that he deserves a shot at the HOW World Championship, Benny.
Benny Newell: That hooker I fucked last night insisted she was legal, too, Hoffman: It doesn’t mean it’s a fact!
Joe Hoffman: I… I don’t even…
Zion catches up to his partner at ringside and they greet each other with a fist-bump, before walking around the ring in opposite directions; circling their opponents. They wait on the outside for a moment, watching Stevens and McKenna’s movements.
Bryan McVay: … And their opponents: Weighing in at a combined weight of four-hundred and sixty-two pounds… They are the High Octane Wrestling Tag Team Champions: Noah Hanson and Darin Zion… Sex. And. MONEYYYYY!
Bryan McVay makes his way over to the ropes and steps out of the ring, as Joel Hortega gestures for The Thoroughbreds to make their way over to a neutral corner. As they do so, Sex and Money climb up onto the apron and cautiously enter the ring; keeping an eye on their opponents the entire time. Joel Hortega is handed the belts and raises them high in the air; showing off what these two teams are competing for. Having paraded them around all four corners of the ring, the referee hands the belts over to the timekeeper, as Scott Stevens and Noah Hanson step out of the ring, onto the apron, while offering words of encouragement to their respective team-mates. Joel Hortega gestures for the bell and this match is officially under way.
Joe Hoffman: Here we go!
Darin Zion and Ryan McKenna circle each other a few times, before reaching in for a collar-and-elbow tie-up. It doesn’t last long, however, with McKenna quickly maneuvering Zion into a headlock. Zion responds by pushing McKenna towards the ropes, bouncing him against them, before sending him running back across the ring. McKenna bounces off the other side and rushes back towards Darin Zion, knocking him down with a shoulder block. Zion is quickly back to his feet, however; charging towards McKenna, only to be taken back down to the mat with an arm drag.
McKenna climbs to his feet and is quickly followed by Darin Zion, whom once again rushes towards his opponent. This time, however, Zion ducks underneath McKenna’s attempted clothesline and bounces off the ropes; dropping McKenna with a shoulder block of his own. McKenna climbs to his feet and charges towards Zion this time, only to be taken down to the mat with a hiptoss. McKenna climbs back to his feet quickly and the two men stare each other down, as the crowd shows its appreciation for the skills on display from both of them.
Joe Hoffman: A great technical battle between Ryan McKenna and Darin Zion to start this match…
Benny Newell: I fucking knew you got a boner from that arm drag, Hoffman!
McKenna and Zion step forward once again, looking set to tie-up once more, only for Zion to duck underneath the Scotsman’s advances and complete a front roll; tagging in Noah Hanson as he climbs to his feet. Zion smiles at McKenna; happy to have out-smarted his opponent. McKenna smirks back at him, as the Sex and Money duo swap places. Hanson immediately advances on McKenna; looking for a tie-up of his own with the former LSD Champion. Ryan has it scouted, however; grabbing Hanson by the back of the head and pulling him down, before delivering three rapid knee strikes to his face. Noah is not deterred, however; responding with a shove that sends McKenna sprawling across the mat.
Joe Hoffman: Noah Hanson’s power was a little too much for McKenna there, Benny. He might need a different approach.
Benny Newell: Just kick his fucking walking stick away and watch him fall. It’s an easy three count!
McKenna climbs to his feet and stares at Hanson for a moment, catching his breath. They circle each other, before Hanson lunges forward; looking to drop McKenna with a clubbing blow. Ryan ducks underneath, however, before kicking the bigger man in the back of the knee; causing it to buckle and dropping Hanson down onto one knee. Hanson is quick to regain his footing, but the momentary interruption is enough to give McKenna a chance to bounce off the ropes and deliver a low dropkick to Hanson’s knee, which this time sends the bigger man crashing to the canvas, holding onto his wounded leg. Ryan quickly climbs to his feet and heads over to his corner; tagging in Scott Stevens.
Joe Hoffman: Ryan McKenna showed us that he can adapt to different styles there, Benny and now he’s displaying his intelligence by tagging in the fresh man.
Benny Newell: Nobody has ever shown intelligence by tagging in Scott Stevens, Hoffman! That’s the dumbest fucking thing you have ever said!
McKenna steps out onto the apron, as his team-mate takes his place inside the ring. Stevens immediately approaches Noah Hanson, whom is struggling to get back up to a vertical base. Stevens grabs Noah by the head and pulls him up to his feet, before whipping him across the ring. As Hanson bounces against the ropes, Stevens charges forward to greet him with a running knee strike to the gut, which sends Hanson crashing to the mat once more!
Joe Hoffman: It’s looking good for Stevens so far, Benny!
Benny Newell: Shut the fuck up.
Hanson rolls over onto his knees, desperate to catch his breath, but Stevens is relentless; pulling him up by the head. Hanson, in an act of desperation, boots Stevens in the gut and quickly follows up with a DDT, sending Stevens sprawling and leaving them both flat-out on the canvas. Referee Hortega begins his count; which the crowd joins in with:
UNO!!!
DOS!!!
TRES!!!
Hanson is first to move; rolling over onto all fours and looking over at his stricken opponent.
CUATRO!!!
CINCO!!!
Stevens finally begins to move; rolling onto his knees as Hanson reaches for the ropes to pull himself up.
SEIS!!!
Both men stagger to their feet, drawing a brief jeer from the crowd, whom were enjoying counting along with their fellow countryman. Hanson and Stevens stumble towards each other, with Stevens throwing a labored punch towards his opponent. Hanson raises an arm to block it, however, before retaliating with a right hand of his own that rattles Stevens. He follows up with another; sending the Texan reeling back towards the ropes, before charging forward and hitting Stevens with a clothesline that sends both men sprawling over the top rope and down to the hard mat below!
Joe Hoffman: Noah Hanson may have just decapitated Scott Stevens with that, Benny!
Benny Newell: Calm the fuck down, Joe!
Hoffman’s excitement is mirrored by the crowd, however, as the buzz around the stadium increases. Both Hanson and Stevens lay motionless on the floor, as Darin Zion drops down from the apron and approaches the pair. Seeing this, McKenna hops into the ring and begins rushing across towards them, only for Joel Hortega to hold him back.
With the referee distracted, Darin Zion stomps away at Stevens’ sternum a few times, before helping Noah Hanson to his feet. Zion directs his partner to get back in the ring, before pulling Scott Stevens up to his feet and rolling him back under the bottom rope. Zion holds Stevens’ head for a moment; stopping him from getting to his feet, while Noah stomps away at him a few times.
Joe Hoffman: Oh, come on!
Benny Newell: What?! Stevens deserves it!
Zion finally releases his hold on the Texan and steps away, as Ryan McKenna angrily steps back out onto the apron, under Joel Hortega’s instruction.
Joe Hoffman: Finally, the referee is regaining some control in this match!
Hortega gestures for Zion to get back in his corner, which he does as Hanson pulls Stevens back up to a vertical base. Hanson wrenches Stevens’ arm into a wrist-lock, before reaching over and tagging in Zion. Darin steps inside and boots Stevens in the gut, before both Zion and Hanson hook the Texan’s arms and lifting him into the air; dropping him down hard onto the mat with a double brainbuster!
Joe Hoffman: What a move by the Sex and Money duo!
Benny Newell: It just proves that any two fucks can beat the crap out of Scott Stevens, Hoffman! Nothing more!
With McKenna protesting his frustrations from his corner, Joel Hortega finally orders Hanson out of the ring, as Zion stomps away at Stevens a few times. Satisfied that The Scorpion is suitably subdued, Zion quickly climbs the nearest turnbuckle and looks down at his fallen opponent. Gingerly, Zion turns around; facing away from Stevens, before leaping into the air and hitting his opponent with an incredible Moonsault!
Joe Hoffman: Great athleticism from Darin Zion!
Zion grabs his midsection for a moment, before covering his opponent. Hortega drops down for the count, once again assisted by the crowd:
UNO!!!
DOS!!!
Before Hortega can count the three, Ryan McKenna breaks the pin-fall attempt with a desperate, diving forearm that’s enough to unsettle Zion. Hortega is quick to his feet, ordering McKenna out of the ring, as Noah Hanson puts one foot inside the ropes; ready to attack. McKenna smiles at him, arrogantly, as he walks backwards towards his own corner.
Joe Hoffman: Ryan McKenna stated this week that he will leave HOW if he and Scott Stevens lose this match, Benny – he may have just saved his career with that desperation save!
Benny Newell: He really said he’d quit? Well fuck, Joe, you could have told me sooner! Come on, Zion – put that tampon eating motherfucker down!
With McKenna back in his corner, Zion uses the ropes to pull himself to his feet, before tagging in his team-mate. Hanson steps inside and heads straight over to Stevens; laying a boot to his stomach, before pulling The Scorpion up by his hair and locking his arms around the Texan’s waist. Before Stevens can react, Hanson sends him back down to the mat with a powerful belly-to-belly suplex! Noah is straight back on the offensive; grabbing Stevens by the head and placing him in a rear chinlock.
Joe Hoffman: Noah Hanson is just wearing Stevens down here, Benny.
Benny Newell: Just fucking finish it already and make that Scottish prick cry into his fucking haggis on his way out of HOW!
Joe Hoffman: Do you know what haggis is, Benny?
Benny Newell: Shut the fuck up, Hoffhole!
With Hanson’s arm tightly squeezed around his head, Stevens begins to fight back, pulling himself up onto his knees. With all the strength he can muster, Stevens lifts Hanson into the air; dropping him with a back body drop that sends them both crashing back onto the canvas! Neither man can move, as Joel Hortega and the crowd once again begin to count:
UNO!!!
Joe Hoffman: What a desperation move by Scott Stevens!
DOS!!!
TRES!!!
CUATRO!!!
Both men finally begin to stir; rolling over onto their stomachs and pulling themselves up onto all fours.
CINCO!!!
Hanson reaches for the ropes to pull himself up to a vertical base, as Stevens begins crawling towards his corner.
SEIS!!!
Noah Hanson staggers up to a vertical base and stumbles towards his corner, as Scott Stevens desperately inches closer towards McKenna, looking for the tag. The crowd begins to ramp up the volume in the stadium as Stevens crawls closer still, but Hanson tags in Darin Zion, whom eagerly jumps over the top rope and chases after the Texan.
Benny Newell: Zion is in!
Just as Zion reaches Stevens, the Texan lunges forward with everything he has left and tags in Ryan McKenna, drawing a thunderous ovation from the Mexican crowd!
Joe Hoffman: McKenna is in!
Benny Newell: Fuck!
McKenna quickly steps into the ring; ducking the oncoming Darin Zion as he attempts a clothesline. Releasing all of the pent-up frustration he had from watching idly from the sidelines, McKenna punches away at Zion, sending him staggering back into the ropes. Ryan quickly boots Zion in the gut, before dropping him with a DDT.
Joe Hoffman: Ryan McKenna is on fire here, Benny!
McKenna jumps to his feet and immediately climbs the turnbuckle; steadying himself as Zion staggers back up to his feet. Picking his moment perfectly, McKenna dives off the top rope; connecting with a missile dropkick that sends Darin Zion crashing across the canvas!
Joe Hoffman: What a move by Ryan McKenna! This one could be over!
Benny Newell: Get up, Zion, you piece of shit!
Ryan McKenna grabs Zion for the pin; hooking his leg. Hortega drops to the mat to begin the count; aided as always by his excited home crowd:
UNO!!!
DOS!!!
TR-No!!!
Zion somehow gets a shoulder up just in time, much to McKenna’s surprise. He rises to his feet and begins berating Joel Hortega, which immediately draws a chorus of boos from the Azteca Stadium crowd!
Benny Newell: Fucking idiot! Of course they’re going to boo you for yelling at that taco-eating cunt-nugget!
Zion grabs the ropes to help himself up, as McKenna finally turns his focus back towards his opponent. He advances on Zion and grabs him by the head, before delivering a series of knee-strikes to his temple that leaves Zion staggering; struggling to stay upright. Sensing his opportunity, McKenna whips Zion into the ropes. As Zion bounces back towards him, McKenna maneuvers into position for the Scatter Shot!
Joe Hoffman: This could be over right here!
Desperately, Zion delivers an elbow to the side of McKenna’s head, followed by another, which forces Ryan to release his opponent and step back. Zion follows up by whipping McKenna across the ring; allowing Scott Stevens to tag himself in, without Darin noticing. As McKenna bounds back towards him, Zion rushes forward, before delivering an acrobatic spinning heel kick that sends McKenna crashing down onto the canvas, before skidding completely out of the ring onto the ground.
Joe Hoffman: What a move by Zion! Ryan McKenna is out cold!
Benny Newell: Fucking Scottish fuck. I hope he never wakes up!
Darin Zion looks down at McKenna for a moment, before turning around and walking straight into a mighty clothesline from Scott Stevens! Zion spins through the air for a moment, before landing hard on his back and Stevens covers him for the pin:
Joe Hoffman: Scott Stevens could win this right here!
UNO!!!
Benny Newell: No!!!
DOS!!!
Noah Hanson with the save! A boot to the side of Scott Stevens’ head is enough to break the pin-fall attempt and Hortega quickly rises to his feet, yelling at Hanson to leave the ring. Noah argues with the referee, however, until Ryan McKenna reaches in from outside the ring and pulls Hanson’s feet out from under him! Hanson crashes to the floor and McKenna pulls him out of the ring. The pair begin brawling on the outside, as Scott Stevens rises to his feet; ready to pounce on Darin Zion as he struggles to find his vertical base.
Joe Hoffman: McKenna and Hanson are beating the hell out of each other on the outside, but Scott Stevens is stalking Zion on the inside! This could be the chance he needs!
Zion finally staggers to his feet and Stevens rushes towards him; grabbing Darin by the head and looking to deliver his signature move!
Joe Hoffman: TOXIC STING!!!
…
Benny Newell: NO!!!! REVERSAL!!!
As Stevens lunges forward, looking to hit his finishing maneuver, Darin Zion counters by using Stevens’ momentum to reverse it into The Catalyst Crossface! Hortega drops to the mat and begins yelling at Stevens in Spanish; asking him if he wants to quit!
Joe Hoffman: Here comes Ryan McKenna!
McKenna slides into the ring and lunges towards Zion, but Noah Hanson grabs him by the leg, before pulling him out of the ring in the same manner that McKenna had done just moments earlier!
Benny Newell: There goes Ryan McKenna! Haha!
With nowhere to go and nobody to save him, Scott Stevens has no option but to tap! Joel Hortega rises to his feet and calls for the bell!
DING DING DING!!!
Darin Zion releases his hold on Scott Stevens, as Bryan McVay makes it official:
Bryan McVay: Ladies and gentlemen, here are your winners… And STILL HOW Tag Team Champions… Sex… And… MMMONNNNEEEEYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!
Noah Hanson slides into the ring to celebrate with his partner, as Joel Hortega asks for the title belts from ringside. The referee then hands the belts over to Hanson and Zion; raising their hands in victory!
Joe Hoffman: My God, what a match! Scott Stevens and Ryan McKenna gave it everything they had, but Zion and Hanson were just too strong!
Benny Newell: See you later, McKenna! Haha!
Joe Hoffman: Folks, thank you for tuning in to March 2 Glory; we’ll see you at Thursday Night Turmoil!
As Joe Hoffman damn near loses a lung from all the excitement, March 2 Glory comes to a close with Sex and Money standing tall in the Azteca Stadium!