Post by Jman2k3 on Jul 8, 2018 23:22:24 GMT
Joe Hoffman: We’re back from our final commercial break of the evening and its main event time!
Benny Newell: Dear GOD of HOW, the main event nobody cares on seeing!
Joe Hoffman: It’s a HOW World Championship match! How do you not care about it?
Benny Newell: You have a control V Lonesome Loser against a fat motherfucking penguin who gets less pings than the fucking generic term, fisher price. Do I need to go any further?
Joe Hoffman: Well, so hell has frozen over. Is that new here in HOW?
Benny Newell: I will stab you in the fucking neck.
Joe Hoffman: Glad to know I rest my case! I do care about my commentating job thank you very much! Anyways folks its main event time!
All of a sudden, “Perfect Insanity” by Disturbed hits the PA as the crowd are sent into a surprising shock. Brian Hollywood suddenly emerges from the back and he looks fired up as he gets the fans up out of their seats.
Joe Hoffman: Wait a minute! What is Brian Hollywood doing out here! It’s the main event and he’s not supposed to be out here!
Benny Newell: HOLY SHIT! I don’t give a fuck! Finally, some relief!!
Hollywood comes down the ramp back in his all black attire and he gives fans high fives as he makes his way over to the commentating booth.
Joe Hoffman: It looks as if Hollywood is going to be joining us on commentary tonight! The surprises keep coming tonight folks!
Benny Newell: Finally, a drinking partner! DRINK!!
Hollywood shakes both Joe and Benny’s hands as he grabs a headset and takes a seat.
Brian Hollywood: Good evening gentlemen. How we doing tonight?
Joe Hoffman: Not doing too bad! What brings you out here tonight?
Benny Newell: Who cares what he’s doing out here! He just saved me from having to be miserable! A bottle of Jack can only go so far you know.
Brian Hollywood: Come on now, Hoff, you had to know that I was going to be out here in some capacity.
Joe Hoffman: Well, after what went down earlier tonight, I know you were told you had limitations.
Brian Hollywood: I was told that I couldn’t come to a specific area and that I couldn’t lay my hands on penguin fucker. No crime to come out here and commentate.
Joe Hoffman: Fair enough. I guess I can’t argue with that. Well let’s it to Bryan for the intro to this match!
Bryan McVay: The following contest is scheduled for one fall…and it is for the HOW World Championship!
The Arena lights go completely black.
“We will not take this anymore
These words will never be ignored
You want a battle…”
“HERE’S A WAR!!”
Strobe lights engulf the arena as Bullet For My Valentine’s “You Want A Battle (Here’s A War)” hits the PA system and the crowd erupts as the word “PARIAH” appears on the torn-mixed with footage of Pariah in the ring. He appears on stage-with his arms outstretched and back to the crowd. He turns around as pyro shoots up behind him. The crowd roars as he heads down the ramp-shaking hands with fans and delivering Too Sweets to the crowd at ringside. He climbs into the ring and sticks his head and upper body between the top and middle ropes, throwing his elbow up-glaring into the hard camera as the streamers fly in, and the music fades out as he awaits the bell.
Bryan McVay: Introducing first, from Chicago, Illinois, he weighs in at 219 pounds, he is….JOHN PAAAAAAAAAAAARIAAAAAH!!!
Joe Hoffman: Our HOW General Manager looks primed and ready to go tonight. It’s been awhile since Pariah has been in a HOW ring..
Benny Newell: You just had to say that penguin fuckers name didn’t you…
Brian Hollywood: Just look at him. He hasn’t changed a god damn bit. Still the ever so cocky arrogant asshole. He things he’s so special like he’s God’s gift to wrestling. More like, HELL of wrestling!
Joe Hoffman: Harsh..
Brian Hollywood: I haven’t even begun to crack at the fucking surface.
Benny Newell: Oh this night just got so much fucking better! You should be on commentary more often! I need another buddy to bash the living fuck out of people.
The lights in the arena go pitch black, as red lasers and spotlights light up the area. The video screen lights up and flashes across the screen a Texas flag, with the words, “Texas Born. Texas Bred.” “Texas Forever.“ branded into the flag. The crowd reaction is mixed, but there are more cheers than boos, as a piano calmly plays throughout the PA system and “Til I Collapse” by Eminem begins to play. The cheers intensify as the chorus hits the speakers, drawing out the man from Texas.
Bryan McVay: And his opponent, from Texas, he weighs in at 256 pounds…he is the HOW World Champion……SCOTT……STEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVENS!!
Walking down the aisle, he fists bumps some of his fans while raising a fist at a few of the more vocal bashers. As he finally gets to the ring, he climbs the nearest turnbuckle and stares down at his opponent, an icy glare and the throat slash gesture his only actions as he drops to the mat.
Joe Hoffman: Can you hear that crowd? Apparently they are excited about this match!
Benny Newell: I would literally be asleep right now, but Mr. Hollywood has been kind enough to help make the pain go away.
Brian Hollywood: I got to say, Scott Stevens winning the HOW World Championship, caught me off guard.
Benny Newell: Like Pariah showing up in HOW?
Brian Hollywood: Fuck you Benny.
Benny Newell: Hey I had to fuck with you! What fun would it be if I didn’t?
Brian Hollywood: Well, I guess I can’t argue with you on that one.
Joe Hoffman: So who do you think wins this match Hollywood?
Brian Hollywood: Do you want my professional answer or my biased one?
Benny Newell: Is there a difference?
Brian Hollywood: …..No. No there is not. I don’t care for either man. Stevens is the viable option though. Had I not be taken out by fisher price golden boy in there, I’d be defending the HOW World Championship right now.
DING DING
As the bell rings Stevens and Pariah start to circle the ring against each other. They do so a couple times before finally locking up in the middle of the ring. A test of strength ensues between both men as they grapple back and forth between one another. Stevens appears to get the upperhand as he twists Pariah’s arm to the side. Pariah strikes back, though, and lays in a closed fist right hook into the side of Steven’s jaw as he grabs Stevens and takes him down with an armbar. Stevens gets back to his feet as he strikes Pariah in the face with a headbutt. Stevens then grabs Pariah and hits a snapmare on him in which he follows it up with a rolling neck snap. Stevens drops down and goes for the cover on Pariah.
ONE
TWO
KICKOUT by Pariah right at the two count.
Joe Hoffman: Both men even here in the early goings of this match. Stevens looks like he has the slight right of hand.
Brian Hollywood: Well just look at Stevens. That’s the look of desperation. He knows he will be finished here tonight if he loses to Pariah. Hell, I think the whole business would riot if Pariah somehow walked out of here with the HOW World Championship.
Benny Newell: So how does penguin fucker get himself a HOW World Championship in his second match back in HOW?
Joe Hoffman: Maybe because he gave himself the shot because he is the HOW General Manager.
Brian Hollywood: Lee Best was an absolute asshole and pure idiot for even bringing Pariah back into HOW. Hell, Lee must be so fucking brain dead by this point, it must be why Pariah was given a General Manager spot.
Pariah is back to his feet as him and Stevens once again lock up in the center of the ring. Stevens tries to twist his arm again, but Pariah isn’t having it this time. Pariah sends some vicious knife edge chops into the chest of Stevens and the entire Best Arena can hear the contact to Stevens skin and it’s cringingly painful. Pariah runs off the ropes before delivering a high knee hit which connects straight into Stevens head. Pariah grabs Stevens and throws a few rights into Stevens face before slamming him into the mat with a belly to belly suplex. Pariah drops down and goes for the cover.
ONE
TWO
KICKOUT by Stevens at two.
Brian Hollywood: Stevens better be on his guard, though. I will give Pariah a little bit of credit. He has a way of getting at you towards the beginning of the match. You can’t let him control the pace because he will have the advantage.
Joe Hoffman: Did you just compliment Pariah?
Benny Newell: Wait for it…
Brian Hollywood: My sponsor actually told me every time I say something nice about Pariah, I’ll get free sandwiches from Jimmy John’s.
Benny Newell: FUCKING really?! And I thought I was cold.
Brian Hollywood: If you want to be cold, Benny, go to Subway. They have a child gynecologist named Jared or something.
Benny Newell: Oh you……sly motherfucker.
Joe Hoffman: Well since you two are playing twenty insults, I guess I’ll actually commentate the match.
Brian Hollywood: Well you did ask me the question, Hoff.
Benny Newell nods his head in agreement.
Benny Newell: I don’t usually agree with people, but the man does have a point.
Back in the ring, Pariah begins to grapple with Stevens neck on the mat. Pariah puts him in a headlock before Stevens realizes the position he’s in. Stevens is able to use the leverage to get to his feet and push Pariah away from him. Pariah is sent against the ropes but Pariah hooks the ropes and launches himself at Stevens and hits a moonsault off the ropes which takes Stevens down to the mat. Pariah mounts Stevens and unloads rights and lefts before Stevens puts his hands in front of his face to protect himself as Boettcher warns Pariah to disengage.
Brian Hollywood: Make it so number one.
Joe Hoffman: Wait, what?
Benny Newell: Oh you are such a fucking NERD.
Boettcher gets to a count of four before Pariah finally breaks off the assault against Stevens. As Stevens is able to breathe, Pariah goes right back to work on Stevens, but Stevens is quick to fend off Pariah this time. Stevens sweeps the leg of Pariah and as Pariah starts to go down to the mat, Stevens meets him half way and plants him with a DDT.
Joe Hoffman: Oh what a move by Stevens!
Benny Newell: Quick Lonesome Loser, COVER HIM!!
Brian Hollywood: I got to give Stevens credit, that was a brilliant, unique move.
Stevens rolls Pariah over and hooks the leg of Pariah.
ONE
TWO
THR–NO! Pariah with the shoulder up!
Pariah, almost with a sense of veteran presence, is able to keep himself in this match up. Stevens grabs Pariah and brings him to his feet. Stevens hooks Pariah from the behind and takes him back down with a belly to back suplex. Stevens, while utilizing Pariah on the mat, starts dropping repeated knee drops to Pariah’s face. Stevens, knowing he has this match in his favor now, keeps Pariah guessing as he drops some stiff elbow drops into Pariah’s face. Stevens grabs Pariah and then plants him in the ground with a double underhook. Stevens rolls Pariah over and covers him once again.
ONE
TWO
THR–NO!
Joe Hoffman: Pariah with another kick out! You got to give it to Pariah, he’s been mentally tough in this match up!
Brian Hollywood: Pariah likes to think he’s mentally tough, but that’s just his ego.
Benny Newell: His ego makes up for something else that isn’t there right?
Brian Hollywood: You’re so smart Benny. Did you go to College?
Benny Newell: I graduated with a Masters in fucking psychology!
Joe Hoffman: Pariah needs to find a way back into this match up quickly!
Stevens yells something at Pariah but we can’t make out what it is. It sounded like something in the neighborhood of “you’re not taking this title away from me motherfucker.” Stevens grabs Pariah and shoots him into the ropes. That may have not been a wise move by Stevens because the last time he shot Pariah into the ropes, Pariah used them to his advantage. Surprise, surprise, Pariah grabs the ropes to hold onto to stop the potential move from Stevens. Stevens charges at Pariah and Pariah pulls the ropes down and causes Stevens to go to the outside. Pariah runs off the other side of the ropes and charges at Stevens before diving over the top rope and connecting with a swanton bomb onto Stevens. Pariah is on fire as he gets to his feet quickly. He grabs Stevens and sends him back first into the barricade. Boettcher begins to start the count on both Stevens and Pariah.
ONE
TWO
THREE
Pariah kicks Stevens in the face repeatedly with right kick after right kick.
FOUR
FIVE
SIX
Pariah then grabs Stevens and plants him with a right arm hooked DDT straight into the ground. Pariah rolls into the ring.
SEVEN
EIGHT
As Pariah realizes that he can’t win the title by count out, he quickly rolls out of the ring to grab Stevens.
Joe Hoffman: Oh no! Pariah may have made a mistake!!
Brian Hollywood: YES!! He can’t win the title with a count out!!
Benny Newell: HA! What an idiot!
NINE
TEN!!!!!!!!!!!
NO!!! Pariah was just BARELY able to get Stevens back in the ring and himself before Boettcher made the official ten count!
Joe Hoffman: That was close!!
Benny Newell: Count faster Boettcher for the love of TITS!
Brian Hollywood: Pariah lucked out there….that’s all it was…
Pariah is not going to make that mistake again as he looks to end it in the ring this time. Pariah starts to walk to the corner as he starts to roll his entire arm.
Joe Hoffman: Is Pariah going for Mirakuru?
Brian Hollywood: If he does, Stevens doesn’t have a prayer….I wish I was fucking kidding on that but I’m not…
Benny Newell: What kind of stupid fucking name is Mirakuru? Sounds like some kind of Japanese animated kiddie porno or something like that.
Stevens gets to his feet but he’s not even aware of what’s about to happen as he turns around and…
Joe Hoffman: MIRAKURU!!! HE HIT IT!! HE ACTUALLY HIT IT!!!
Brian Hollywood: OH FUCK NO YOU SON OF A BITCH!!!
Benny Newell: JAPANESE ANIMATED KIDDIE PORN IS BAD!!!!
Pariah rolls over a completely down and out Stevens and he drops down and covers as Boettcher goes for the count.
ONE
TWO
THREE!!!!!!!!!
Brian Hollywood: NOOOO!!!!!!!!!! GOD DAMNIT HOW THE FUCK DID HE DO IT?!!
Benny Newell: MOTHER FUCKER!!!! PENGUIN FUCKER JUST WON THE HOW WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP!!!!
Pariah gets to his feet and starts to celebrate as the fans can’t believe it. As Pariah starts to celebrate, Stevens is still down and out and he still can’t believe he has accomplished the unthinkable. Hollywood looks livid from the announcer’s table as we can hear him pound the table quite loudly.
Joe Hoffman: Wait a minute!!! Boettcher is saying this match is still ON!!! Pariah can’t believe it!!
Boettcher points down at Stevens and tells Pariah Stevens had his foot on the bottom rope. Pariah grabs his hair in disbelief and shakes his head as he was so close to having this match won. Pariah walks back over and picks up Stevens and Stevens all of a sudden surprises Pariah and hits him with the Toxic Sting out of nowhere. Pariah is stunned as he falls limp on the mat.
Brian Hollywood: That’s what I’m talking about!!! Pin him Stevens!!
Benny Newell: Thank fucking tits! I can’t believe I’m rooting for the lonesome loser.
Joe Hoffman: Stevens going for the cover!
ONE
TWO
THREE!!!!
NOOOO!!!!!! Somehow Pariah gets his shoulder up at 2.9999999999999999999!!!!
Brian Hollywood: COME ON BOETTCHER!!!! That was a fucking three count you cunt!
Benny Newell: This match is fucking rigged!
Joe Hoffman: I’m afraid Boettcher is playing this match right down the middle gentlemen.
Stevens can’t believe it as he lies in the middle of the ring holding onto his head. Both men are breathing heavily as they have given everything in this match. Both men eventually get back to their feet as they start exchanging lefts and rights. Stevens connects with another headbutt as Pariah surges forward with a European Uppercut. Pariah connects hard into Stevens as he then delivers a pump handle driver that sends Stevens down into the mat. Pariah grabs Stevens and sends him into the corner turnbuckle. Pariah charges and attempts a spear but Stevens moves out of the way and throws Pariah shoulder first into the ring post. Pariah stumbles backwards before Stevens reels him around and goes for the Toxic Sting but Pariah dodges it! He pushes Stevens forward as he goes for Mirakuru again but Stevens DUCKS! Stevens then grabs him and attempts another Toxic Sting and this time, CONNECTS! Pariah falls to the mat as Stevens drops literally right on top of him as Boettcher goes for the cover.
ONE
TWO
THREE!!!!
DING DING DING!
Joe Hoffman: Stevens did it!! Stevens retains!
Bryan McVay: Here is your winner……and STILL HOW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION……SCOTTTTTT STEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVENS!!!!!
Benny Newell: I’ll drink to the Toxic tonight!!!
Brian Hollywood: Beautiful match and I gotta say, regardless of how much I hate Pariah, I have to say that was a good match….for me to see Pariah lose!
Boettcher goes to give the HOW World Championship back to Stevens as Stevens struggles to get to his feet because of the hellacious match he just had with Pariah. Stevens celebrates before finally leaving the ring and back up the ramp. At this point Brian Hollywood takes the headset off and stands up and stares down a drained but pissed off Pariah. Hollywood just looks at Pariah and points and laughs at him.
Joe Hoffman: What a match that was folks! Great effort by both superstars! Both gave their all! Well folks, that’s all the time we have for tonight! Well see you next week good night everyone!
Hollywood gets on top of the announcers table so Pariah can clearly see him. Pariah is back to his feet as he just stares coldly at Hollywood who continues to taunt Pariah. Hollywood then flips off Pariah and gives a cut throat gesture to Pariah as the two have a cold stare off as Chaos goes off the air.
Benny Newell: Dear GOD of HOW, the main event nobody cares on seeing!
Joe Hoffman: It’s a HOW World Championship match! How do you not care about it?
Benny Newell: You have a control V Lonesome Loser against a fat motherfucking penguin who gets less pings than the fucking generic term, fisher price. Do I need to go any further?
Joe Hoffman: Well, so hell has frozen over. Is that new here in HOW?
Benny Newell: I will stab you in the fucking neck.
Joe Hoffman: Glad to know I rest my case! I do care about my commentating job thank you very much! Anyways folks its main event time!
All of a sudden, “Perfect Insanity” by Disturbed hits the PA as the crowd are sent into a surprising shock. Brian Hollywood suddenly emerges from the back and he looks fired up as he gets the fans up out of their seats.
Joe Hoffman: Wait a minute! What is Brian Hollywood doing out here! It’s the main event and he’s not supposed to be out here!
Benny Newell: HOLY SHIT! I don’t give a fuck! Finally, some relief!!
Hollywood comes down the ramp back in his all black attire and he gives fans high fives as he makes his way over to the commentating booth.
Joe Hoffman: It looks as if Hollywood is going to be joining us on commentary tonight! The surprises keep coming tonight folks!
Benny Newell: Finally, a drinking partner! DRINK!!
Hollywood shakes both Joe and Benny’s hands as he grabs a headset and takes a seat.
Brian Hollywood: Good evening gentlemen. How we doing tonight?
Joe Hoffman: Not doing too bad! What brings you out here tonight?
Benny Newell: Who cares what he’s doing out here! He just saved me from having to be miserable! A bottle of Jack can only go so far you know.
Brian Hollywood: Come on now, Hoff, you had to know that I was going to be out here in some capacity.
Joe Hoffman: Well, after what went down earlier tonight, I know you were told you had limitations.
Brian Hollywood: I was told that I couldn’t come to a specific area and that I couldn’t lay my hands on penguin fucker. No crime to come out here and commentate.
Joe Hoffman: Fair enough. I guess I can’t argue with that. Well let’s it to Bryan for the intro to this match!
Bryan McVay: The following contest is scheduled for one fall…and it is for the HOW World Championship!
The Arena lights go completely black.
“We will not take this anymore
These words will never be ignored
You want a battle…”
“HERE’S A WAR!!”
Strobe lights engulf the arena as Bullet For My Valentine’s “You Want A Battle (Here’s A War)” hits the PA system and the crowd erupts as the word “PARIAH” appears on the torn-mixed with footage of Pariah in the ring. He appears on stage-with his arms outstretched and back to the crowd. He turns around as pyro shoots up behind him. The crowd roars as he heads down the ramp-shaking hands with fans and delivering Too Sweets to the crowd at ringside. He climbs into the ring and sticks his head and upper body between the top and middle ropes, throwing his elbow up-glaring into the hard camera as the streamers fly in, and the music fades out as he awaits the bell.
Bryan McVay: Introducing first, from Chicago, Illinois, he weighs in at 219 pounds, he is….JOHN PAAAAAAAAAAAARIAAAAAH!!!
Joe Hoffman: Our HOW General Manager looks primed and ready to go tonight. It’s been awhile since Pariah has been in a HOW ring..
Benny Newell: You just had to say that penguin fuckers name didn’t you…
Brian Hollywood: Just look at him. He hasn’t changed a god damn bit. Still the ever so cocky arrogant asshole. He things he’s so special like he’s God’s gift to wrestling. More like, HELL of wrestling!
Joe Hoffman: Harsh..
Brian Hollywood: I haven’t even begun to crack at the fucking surface.
Benny Newell: Oh this night just got so much fucking better! You should be on commentary more often! I need another buddy to bash the living fuck out of people.
The lights in the arena go pitch black, as red lasers and spotlights light up the area. The video screen lights up and flashes across the screen a Texas flag, with the words, “Texas Born. Texas Bred.” “Texas Forever.“ branded into the flag. The crowd reaction is mixed, but there are more cheers than boos, as a piano calmly plays throughout the PA system and “Til I Collapse” by Eminem begins to play. The cheers intensify as the chorus hits the speakers, drawing out the man from Texas.
Bryan McVay: And his opponent, from Texas, he weighs in at 256 pounds…he is the HOW World Champion……SCOTT……STEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVENS!!
Walking down the aisle, he fists bumps some of his fans while raising a fist at a few of the more vocal bashers. As he finally gets to the ring, he climbs the nearest turnbuckle and stares down at his opponent, an icy glare and the throat slash gesture his only actions as he drops to the mat.
Joe Hoffman: Can you hear that crowd? Apparently they are excited about this match!
Benny Newell: I would literally be asleep right now, but Mr. Hollywood has been kind enough to help make the pain go away.
Brian Hollywood: I got to say, Scott Stevens winning the HOW World Championship, caught me off guard.
Benny Newell: Like Pariah showing up in HOW?
Brian Hollywood: Fuck you Benny.
Benny Newell: Hey I had to fuck with you! What fun would it be if I didn’t?
Brian Hollywood: Well, I guess I can’t argue with you on that one.
Joe Hoffman: So who do you think wins this match Hollywood?
Brian Hollywood: Do you want my professional answer or my biased one?
Benny Newell: Is there a difference?
Brian Hollywood: …..No. No there is not. I don’t care for either man. Stevens is the viable option though. Had I not be taken out by fisher price golden boy in there, I’d be defending the HOW World Championship right now.
DING DING
As the bell rings Stevens and Pariah start to circle the ring against each other. They do so a couple times before finally locking up in the middle of the ring. A test of strength ensues between both men as they grapple back and forth between one another. Stevens appears to get the upperhand as he twists Pariah’s arm to the side. Pariah strikes back, though, and lays in a closed fist right hook into the side of Steven’s jaw as he grabs Stevens and takes him down with an armbar. Stevens gets back to his feet as he strikes Pariah in the face with a headbutt. Stevens then grabs Pariah and hits a snapmare on him in which he follows it up with a rolling neck snap. Stevens drops down and goes for the cover on Pariah.
ONE
TWO
KICKOUT by Pariah right at the two count.
Joe Hoffman: Both men even here in the early goings of this match. Stevens looks like he has the slight right of hand.
Brian Hollywood: Well just look at Stevens. That’s the look of desperation. He knows he will be finished here tonight if he loses to Pariah. Hell, I think the whole business would riot if Pariah somehow walked out of here with the HOW World Championship.
Benny Newell: So how does penguin fucker get himself a HOW World Championship in his second match back in HOW?
Joe Hoffman: Maybe because he gave himself the shot because he is the HOW General Manager.
Brian Hollywood: Lee Best was an absolute asshole and pure idiot for even bringing Pariah back into HOW. Hell, Lee must be so fucking brain dead by this point, it must be why Pariah was given a General Manager spot.
Pariah is back to his feet as him and Stevens once again lock up in the center of the ring. Stevens tries to twist his arm again, but Pariah isn’t having it this time. Pariah sends some vicious knife edge chops into the chest of Stevens and the entire Best Arena can hear the contact to Stevens skin and it’s cringingly painful. Pariah runs off the ropes before delivering a high knee hit which connects straight into Stevens head. Pariah grabs Stevens and throws a few rights into Stevens face before slamming him into the mat with a belly to belly suplex. Pariah drops down and goes for the cover.
ONE
TWO
KICKOUT by Stevens at two.
Brian Hollywood: Stevens better be on his guard, though. I will give Pariah a little bit of credit. He has a way of getting at you towards the beginning of the match. You can’t let him control the pace because he will have the advantage.
Joe Hoffman: Did you just compliment Pariah?
Benny Newell: Wait for it…
Brian Hollywood: My sponsor actually told me every time I say something nice about Pariah, I’ll get free sandwiches from Jimmy John’s.
Benny Newell: FUCKING really?! And I thought I was cold.
Brian Hollywood: If you want to be cold, Benny, go to Subway. They have a child gynecologist named Jared or something.
Benny Newell: Oh you……sly motherfucker.
Joe Hoffman: Well since you two are playing twenty insults, I guess I’ll actually commentate the match.
Brian Hollywood: Well you did ask me the question, Hoff.
Benny Newell nods his head in agreement.
Benny Newell: I don’t usually agree with people, but the man does have a point.
Back in the ring, Pariah begins to grapple with Stevens neck on the mat. Pariah puts him in a headlock before Stevens realizes the position he’s in. Stevens is able to use the leverage to get to his feet and push Pariah away from him. Pariah is sent against the ropes but Pariah hooks the ropes and launches himself at Stevens and hits a moonsault off the ropes which takes Stevens down to the mat. Pariah mounts Stevens and unloads rights and lefts before Stevens puts his hands in front of his face to protect himself as Boettcher warns Pariah to disengage.
Brian Hollywood: Make it so number one.
Joe Hoffman: Wait, what?
Benny Newell: Oh you are such a fucking NERD.
Boettcher gets to a count of four before Pariah finally breaks off the assault against Stevens. As Stevens is able to breathe, Pariah goes right back to work on Stevens, but Stevens is quick to fend off Pariah this time. Stevens sweeps the leg of Pariah and as Pariah starts to go down to the mat, Stevens meets him half way and plants him with a DDT.
Joe Hoffman: Oh what a move by Stevens!
Benny Newell: Quick Lonesome Loser, COVER HIM!!
Brian Hollywood: I got to give Stevens credit, that was a brilliant, unique move.
Stevens rolls Pariah over and hooks the leg of Pariah.
ONE
TWO
THR–NO! Pariah with the shoulder up!
Pariah, almost with a sense of veteran presence, is able to keep himself in this match up. Stevens grabs Pariah and brings him to his feet. Stevens hooks Pariah from the behind and takes him back down with a belly to back suplex. Stevens, while utilizing Pariah on the mat, starts dropping repeated knee drops to Pariah’s face. Stevens, knowing he has this match in his favor now, keeps Pariah guessing as he drops some stiff elbow drops into Pariah’s face. Stevens grabs Pariah and then plants him in the ground with a double underhook. Stevens rolls Pariah over and covers him once again.
ONE
TWO
THR–NO!
Joe Hoffman: Pariah with another kick out! You got to give it to Pariah, he’s been mentally tough in this match up!
Brian Hollywood: Pariah likes to think he’s mentally tough, but that’s just his ego.
Benny Newell: His ego makes up for something else that isn’t there right?
Brian Hollywood: You’re so smart Benny. Did you go to College?
Benny Newell: I graduated with a Masters in fucking psychology!
Joe Hoffman: Pariah needs to find a way back into this match up quickly!
Stevens yells something at Pariah but we can’t make out what it is. It sounded like something in the neighborhood of “you’re not taking this title away from me motherfucker.” Stevens grabs Pariah and shoots him into the ropes. That may have not been a wise move by Stevens because the last time he shot Pariah into the ropes, Pariah used them to his advantage. Surprise, surprise, Pariah grabs the ropes to hold onto to stop the potential move from Stevens. Stevens charges at Pariah and Pariah pulls the ropes down and causes Stevens to go to the outside. Pariah runs off the other side of the ropes and charges at Stevens before diving over the top rope and connecting with a swanton bomb onto Stevens. Pariah is on fire as he gets to his feet quickly. He grabs Stevens and sends him back first into the barricade. Boettcher begins to start the count on both Stevens and Pariah.
ONE
TWO
THREE
Pariah kicks Stevens in the face repeatedly with right kick after right kick.
FOUR
FIVE
SIX
Pariah then grabs Stevens and plants him with a right arm hooked DDT straight into the ground. Pariah rolls into the ring.
SEVEN
EIGHT
As Pariah realizes that he can’t win the title by count out, he quickly rolls out of the ring to grab Stevens.
Joe Hoffman: Oh no! Pariah may have made a mistake!!
Brian Hollywood: YES!! He can’t win the title with a count out!!
Benny Newell: HA! What an idiot!
NINE
TEN!!!!!!!!!!!
NO!!! Pariah was just BARELY able to get Stevens back in the ring and himself before Boettcher made the official ten count!
Joe Hoffman: That was close!!
Benny Newell: Count faster Boettcher for the love of TITS!
Brian Hollywood: Pariah lucked out there….that’s all it was…
Pariah is not going to make that mistake again as he looks to end it in the ring this time. Pariah starts to walk to the corner as he starts to roll his entire arm.
Joe Hoffman: Is Pariah going for Mirakuru?
Brian Hollywood: If he does, Stevens doesn’t have a prayer….I wish I was fucking kidding on that but I’m not…
Benny Newell: What kind of stupid fucking name is Mirakuru? Sounds like some kind of Japanese animated kiddie porno or something like that.
Stevens gets to his feet but he’s not even aware of what’s about to happen as he turns around and…
Joe Hoffman: MIRAKURU!!! HE HIT IT!! HE ACTUALLY HIT IT!!!
Brian Hollywood: OH FUCK NO YOU SON OF A BITCH!!!
Benny Newell: JAPANESE ANIMATED KIDDIE PORN IS BAD!!!!
Pariah rolls over a completely down and out Stevens and he drops down and covers as Boettcher goes for the count.
ONE
TWO
THREE!!!!!!!!!
Brian Hollywood: NOOOO!!!!!!!!!! GOD DAMNIT HOW THE FUCK DID HE DO IT?!!
Benny Newell: MOTHER FUCKER!!!! PENGUIN FUCKER JUST WON THE HOW WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP!!!!
Pariah gets to his feet and starts to celebrate as the fans can’t believe it. As Pariah starts to celebrate, Stevens is still down and out and he still can’t believe he has accomplished the unthinkable. Hollywood looks livid from the announcer’s table as we can hear him pound the table quite loudly.
Joe Hoffman: Wait a minute!!! Boettcher is saying this match is still ON!!! Pariah can’t believe it!!
Boettcher points down at Stevens and tells Pariah Stevens had his foot on the bottom rope. Pariah grabs his hair in disbelief and shakes his head as he was so close to having this match won. Pariah walks back over and picks up Stevens and Stevens all of a sudden surprises Pariah and hits him with the Toxic Sting out of nowhere. Pariah is stunned as he falls limp on the mat.
Brian Hollywood: That’s what I’m talking about!!! Pin him Stevens!!
Benny Newell: Thank fucking tits! I can’t believe I’m rooting for the lonesome loser.
Joe Hoffman: Stevens going for the cover!
ONE
TWO
THREE!!!!
NOOOO!!!!!! Somehow Pariah gets his shoulder up at 2.9999999999999999999!!!!
Brian Hollywood: COME ON BOETTCHER!!!! That was a fucking three count you cunt!
Benny Newell: This match is fucking rigged!
Joe Hoffman: I’m afraid Boettcher is playing this match right down the middle gentlemen.
Stevens can’t believe it as he lies in the middle of the ring holding onto his head. Both men are breathing heavily as they have given everything in this match. Both men eventually get back to their feet as they start exchanging lefts and rights. Stevens connects with another headbutt as Pariah surges forward with a European Uppercut. Pariah connects hard into Stevens as he then delivers a pump handle driver that sends Stevens down into the mat. Pariah grabs Stevens and sends him into the corner turnbuckle. Pariah charges and attempts a spear but Stevens moves out of the way and throws Pariah shoulder first into the ring post. Pariah stumbles backwards before Stevens reels him around and goes for the Toxic Sting but Pariah dodges it! He pushes Stevens forward as he goes for Mirakuru again but Stevens DUCKS! Stevens then grabs him and attempts another Toxic Sting and this time, CONNECTS! Pariah falls to the mat as Stevens drops literally right on top of him as Boettcher goes for the cover.
ONE
TWO
THREE!!!!
DING DING DING!
Joe Hoffman: Stevens did it!! Stevens retains!
Bryan McVay: Here is your winner……and STILL HOW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION……SCOTTTTTT STEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVENS!!!!!
Benny Newell: I’ll drink to the Toxic tonight!!!
Brian Hollywood: Beautiful match and I gotta say, regardless of how much I hate Pariah, I have to say that was a good match….for me to see Pariah lose!
Boettcher goes to give the HOW World Championship back to Stevens as Stevens struggles to get to his feet because of the hellacious match he just had with Pariah. Stevens celebrates before finally leaving the ring and back up the ramp. At this point Brian Hollywood takes the headset off and stands up and stares down a drained but pissed off Pariah. Hollywood just looks at Pariah and points and laughs at him.
Joe Hoffman: What a match that was folks! Great effort by both superstars! Both gave their all! Well folks, that’s all the time we have for tonight! Well see you next week good night everyone!
Hollywood gets on top of the announcers table so Pariah can clearly see him. Pariah is back to his feet as he just stares coldly at Hollywood who continues to taunt Pariah. Hollywood then flips off Pariah and gives a cut throat gesture to Pariah as the two have a cold stare off as Chaos goes off the air.