Post by Jman2k3 on Jul 1, 2018 5:38:50 GMT
Joe Hoffman: Well we’re back, ladies and gentlemen, and frankly I don’t know what to make of the news we got just before the break. Michael Lee Best will be captaining a War Games team against Lee Best and Jatt Starr… and his first pick is Silent Witness! That might be a two punch combination of the most shocking news we’ve had here in HOW this year!
Benny Newell: Unwedge your panties, Hoffman, it’s only April. Besides, Lee Best knows what he’s doing-- Silent Witless and the bastard mongoloid aren’t enough to beat the fucking Best Alliance, and I think we’re going to prove that in just a fucking second now aren’t we? Fucking Scottywood with his stupid hair and Stevens with his stupid everything are going to get used as human fucking tampons.
Joe Hoffman: Are you implying that Shane Reynolds and John Sektor have… vaginas?
Benny Newell: I…. well… SHUT UP JOE IT’S NOT A PERFECT FUCKING METAPHOR
Joe Hoffman: Well I’m not sure if it’s a metaphor at all, Benny, but let me tell you what is. This match is going to be an all out war. I’m being told that this match will be contested under tornado tag team rules, meaning there will be no tags-- all four participants will be in the ring at the same time! Mind games have been played since the second this match was announced, with Shane Reynolds going so far as to offer Scottywood a shot at the ICON Title, and all he has to do is walk out on Scott Stevens during this match!
Benny Newell: He’s a fucking idiot if he doesn’t do it, too. Shane Reynolds made him a verygenerous offer, and if that fucknut doesn’t take it, he deserves whatever the Best Alliance does to him tonight!
“The Outsiders” by Eric Church begins to play over the speakers, evidently a new theme for the team of Scottywood and Scott Stevens as they make their way through the curtain and out onto the stage. The roar of the crowd is behind them as they make their way intently down to the ring, not giving much attention to fanfare. They have a mission on their minds as each man climbs his way into the ring, taking their corner. Nigel Lette looks like he wants to search both of these men, but the menacing manner in which they’re glaring him down forces the Best Alliance referee to back off and take their word for it.
As the music fades away, “Undead” by Hollywood Undead replaces it on the sound system of the Best Arena. HOW’s resident World and ICON Champions, John Sektor and Shane Reynolds, make their way out in unison, posing with their belts at the top of the stage. They look like a solid unit tonight, as both men march down the ramp, pointing and talking shit toward their opponents as the crowd boos on in time.
Joe Hoffman: The Best Alliance looking to make up for a loss during last week’s main event, to Michael Best and Wilhelm “Max” Kael. It will be interesting to see if Shane can focus on the match this week, instead of just one of it’s participants.
Benny Newell: Wilhelm who? You heard Jatt Starr, Joe-- Michael Best won a handicap match last week. And he fucking cheated, too. TONIGHT WILL BE DIFFERENT! DRINK!
With both teams in the ring, Nigel Lette takes the World and ICON titles from Sektor and Shane, passing them off to Bryan McVay before ringing the bell to start the match.
DING DING DING
The bell is rung, and it’s immediately off to the races. Scott Stevens and Shane Reynolds come to blows immediately with Stevens backing Reynolds toward the corner, both men exchanging punches back and forth. Scottywood looks apprehensive-- perhaps he’s thinking over the offer made by Shane earlier this week-- but John Sektor ends his train of thought with a dropkick to the side of the head, knocking Scottywood to the mat! The Hardcore Artist rolls out of the ring, taking a “breather” as he watches into the ring from the outside, not looking proud of himself for doing so.
Joe Hoffman: Scottywood… he bailed out of the ring! He’s accepting Shane’s offer for the ICON Title shot1
Benny Newell: PRAISE BE TO GOOD DECISIONS AND BAD, BAD GIRLS! DRINK!
Scott Stevens is getting the better of Shane inside the ring, but Sektor charges him from behind! Stevens sees it coming, moving out of the way and forcing Sektor to run in a full on avalanche, right into his partner! Shane and Sektor collide, and Stevens wastes no efficiency-- he grabs a rebounding Sektor from behind, launching him into the air with a German suplex that floors Sektor neck first in the ring!
Stevens gets back to his feet, ducking a clothesline from an enraged Shane Reynolds, and from behind he launches the ICON Champion into the air as well, with another perfect German suplex! Stevens lunges back to his feet, throwing his arms out in celebration as the crowd goes wild!
Suddenly, Stevens begins looking around for Scottywood, realizing that he’s no longer in the ring. He spots him at ringside, running over to the ropes and admonishing his partner for abandoning him. The two start to argue, with Scotty defending what he’s doing, but in the process Stevens has become distracted. John Sektor has made it to his feet, and he grabs Stevens from behind with a rough looking sleeper hold, pulling him back away from the ropes and trying to put him to sleep in the middle of the ring!
Joe Hoffman: This is disgusting! Scottywood is just… watching! Scott Stevens is in peril, and Scottywood is watching the rainbow crumble, all so he can collect on the pot of gold!
Benny Newell: ….the fuck?
Joe Hoffman: ...it’s not a perfect metaphor.
Scott Stevens flails and struggles to get out of the hold, as Shane Reynolds climbs back to his feet and watches it happen. He glances over to Scottywood, sneering at his opponent and mocking him for accepting his offer to sit this one out. Shane makes sure that Scotty is watching, and then wails Stevens in the gut with a big closed fist. And another. And another! Stevens is trying desperately to fight the hold, but there doesn’t look to be any escaping.
Stevens gives one more big lunge backward, pushing Sektor into the ropes in a last ditch effort. Shane charges in with a clothesline to shut that shit down, but Stevens throws all of his weight forward and bends down! As he thrusts back up, he forces John Sektor to throw his own partner over the ropes and out of the ring with a huge back body drop! The crowd explodes!
Outside of the ring, Scottywood gives an audible cheer, still not abandoning his tag team partner, at least in spirit. Back inside, John Sektor aggressively throws Stevens forward and away from him, looking out of the ring to check on Shane. He bails out of the ring, rolling under the ropes to talk to his partner and help him to his feet.
Benny Newell: At least SOMEONE cares about their partner in this match, Joe. Why does the crowd boo these two guys? They’re so fucking respectable!
Joe Hoffman: I just can’t understand what’s going through Scottywood’s head right now, Benny. And I’m sure Scott Stevens can’t either. This is… this is just wrong.
Scott Stevens gives up on his partner, trying to goad both of his opponents back into the ring, refusing to back down. Sektor and Shane each get to opposite sides of the ring, trying to put The Scorpion into a no-win situation, and simultaneously both men slide inside!
Stevens has to make a choice, and he chooses Shane Reynolds. Scott begins laying boots into Shane before he can even stand up, but Sektor spins him around and rails him in the side of the skull. He kicks Stevens in the stomach, setting him up, and Shane grabs the other side. They both lift him overhead, and nail a big double suplex in the middle of the ring! Stevens looks to be broken in half! Sektor and Shane flip an imaginary coin, and Sektor appears to win-- he flips Stevens over and makes the cover.
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
NO! SCOTTYWOOD BREAKS IT UP!
The crowd explodes as Scott Woodson slides back into the ring, knocking John Sektor off of Scott Stevens, right before the three count! Shane looks incensed, attacking Scottywood immediately, but Scottywood picks him up right off the mat and delivers the Game Misconduct!
Joe Hoffman: SCOTTYWOOD IS CLEANING HOUSE! HE’S BACK!
Benny Newell: FUCKING IDIOT CUNT NUGGET! FUCK FUCK!
Scotty considers covering Shane, but instead throws Stevens over top of him and orders Nigel Lette to make the count!
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
NO!
The crowd bursts into a chorus of boos as Shane Reynolds narrowly gets a shoulder up, barely keeping the Best Alliance in this match!
Scotty turns around, and Sektor is back on his feet! The two begin exchanging blows, and a fresh Scottywood rails away with right hands, backing Sektor up with every punch! The World Champion is staggered backward, and Scotty gives him a boot in the stomach-- ANOTHER GAME MISCONDUCT! Both members of the Best Alliance team have now been taken out with Scottywood’s finishing maneuver!
Joe Hoffman: Scottywood is making up for lost time! This is absolutely unbelievable!
Benny Newell: SCOTTY YOU FUCKING DOUCHEBAG, YOU HAD A VERBAL AGREEMENT!
John Sektor rolls out of the ring to safety, as Scott Stevens crawls to his feet. He has a hard staredown with Scotty in the middle of the ring, both men jawing at eachother about what’s happened earlier in this match. They seem to come to an understanding, though, nodding at one another and shrugging it off as they vow to get back into this match. They stand around talking for just a moment, as John Sektor starts to get to his feet, and suddenly Scottywood picks Stevens right up off the ground! The crowd doesn’t know what’s going on, but soon it becomes clear, and Scotty charges forward, helping Stevens launch himself over the ropes and to the outside! He collides with Sektor, and the crowd FUCKING EXPLODES!
A “THAT WAS AWESOME” chant almost immediately picks up in the Chicago crowd, as both Stevens and Sektor sprawl out across the concrete floor! It’s chaos outside of the ring!
Scottywood grabs the ropes, checking on Stevens, but Shane Reynolds grabs him from behind! He’s back on his feet! He gets Scottywood into position….
Joe Hoffman: ORIGINAL SIN! IT’S OVER! IT’S ALL OVER!
Benny Newell: FUCK. YEAH. NEGRO.
Shane rolls Scottywood over, and Nigel Lette counts to a deflated arena.
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
DING DING DING
The match is over, not with a bang, but with a whimper-- Shane Reynolds rolls out of the ring, helping John Sektor to his feet as both men greedily grab their titles back from the time keeper.
Bryan McVay: Here are your winners, in 16:32…. Shane Reynolds and John Sektor… THE BEST…. ALLLLLIIIIIIIAAAAAANCE!
Shane climbs back into the ring, holding the ropes for Sektor as they each make their way back to the middle of the canvas. They each hold their belts high, celebrating a hard fought victory and staring down at Scottywood as HOW Monday Night Mayhem goes off the air.
Benny Newell: Unwedge your panties, Hoffman, it’s only April. Besides, Lee Best knows what he’s doing-- Silent Witless and the bastard mongoloid aren’t enough to beat the fucking Best Alliance, and I think we’re going to prove that in just a fucking second now aren’t we? Fucking Scottywood with his stupid hair and Stevens with his stupid everything are going to get used as human fucking tampons.
Joe Hoffman: Are you implying that Shane Reynolds and John Sektor have… vaginas?
Benny Newell: I…. well… SHUT UP JOE IT’S NOT A PERFECT FUCKING METAPHOR
Joe Hoffman: Well I’m not sure if it’s a metaphor at all, Benny, but let me tell you what is. This match is going to be an all out war. I’m being told that this match will be contested under tornado tag team rules, meaning there will be no tags-- all four participants will be in the ring at the same time! Mind games have been played since the second this match was announced, with Shane Reynolds going so far as to offer Scottywood a shot at the ICON Title, and all he has to do is walk out on Scott Stevens during this match!
Benny Newell: He’s a fucking idiot if he doesn’t do it, too. Shane Reynolds made him a verygenerous offer, and if that fucknut doesn’t take it, he deserves whatever the Best Alliance does to him tonight!
“The Outsiders” by Eric Church begins to play over the speakers, evidently a new theme for the team of Scottywood and Scott Stevens as they make their way through the curtain and out onto the stage. The roar of the crowd is behind them as they make their way intently down to the ring, not giving much attention to fanfare. They have a mission on their minds as each man climbs his way into the ring, taking their corner. Nigel Lette looks like he wants to search both of these men, but the menacing manner in which they’re glaring him down forces the Best Alliance referee to back off and take their word for it.
As the music fades away, “Undead” by Hollywood Undead replaces it on the sound system of the Best Arena. HOW’s resident World and ICON Champions, John Sektor and Shane Reynolds, make their way out in unison, posing with their belts at the top of the stage. They look like a solid unit tonight, as both men march down the ramp, pointing and talking shit toward their opponents as the crowd boos on in time.
Joe Hoffman: The Best Alliance looking to make up for a loss during last week’s main event, to Michael Best and Wilhelm “Max” Kael. It will be interesting to see if Shane can focus on the match this week, instead of just one of it’s participants.
Benny Newell: Wilhelm who? You heard Jatt Starr, Joe-- Michael Best won a handicap match last week. And he fucking cheated, too. TONIGHT WILL BE DIFFERENT! DRINK!
With both teams in the ring, Nigel Lette takes the World and ICON titles from Sektor and Shane, passing them off to Bryan McVay before ringing the bell to start the match.
DING DING DING
The bell is rung, and it’s immediately off to the races. Scott Stevens and Shane Reynolds come to blows immediately with Stevens backing Reynolds toward the corner, both men exchanging punches back and forth. Scottywood looks apprehensive-- perhaps he’s thinking over the offer made by Shane earlier this week-- but John Sektor ends his train of thought with a dropkick to the side of the head, knocking Scottywood to the mat! The Hardcore Artist rolls out of the ring, taking a “breather” as he watches into the ring from the outside, not looking proud of himself for doing so.
Joe Hoffman: Scottywood… he bailed out of the ring! He’s accepting Shane’s offer for the ICON Title shot1
Benny Newell: PRAISE BE TO GOOD DECISIONS AND BAD, BAD GIRLS! DRINK!
Scott Stevens is getting the better of Shane inside the ring, but Sektor charges him from behind! Stevens sees it coming, moving out of the way and forcing Sektor to run in a full on avalanche, right into his partner! Shane and Sektor collide, and Stevens wastes no efficiency-- he grabs a rebounding Sektor from behind, launching him into the air with a German suplex that floors Sektor neck first in the ring!
Stevens gets back to his feet, ducking a clothesline from an enraged Shane Reynolds, and from behind he launches the ICON Champion into the air as well, with another perfect German suplex! Stevens lunges back to his feet, throwing his arms out in celebration as the crowd goes wild!
Suddenly, Stevens begins looking around for Scottywood, realizing that he’s no longer in the ring. He spots him at ringside, running over to the ropes and admonishing his partner for abandoning him. The two start to argue, with Scotty defending what he’s doing, but in the process Stevens has become distracted. John Sektor has made it to his feet, and he grabs Stevens from behind with a rough looking sleeper hold, pulling him back away from the ropes and trying to put him to sleep in the middle of the ring!
Joe Hoffman: This is disgusting! Scottywood is just… watching! Scott Stevens is in peril, and Scottywood is watching the rainbow crumble, all so he can collect on the pot of gold!
Benny Newell: ….the fuck?
Joe Hoffman: ...it’s not a perfect metaphor.
Scott Stevens flails and struggles to get out of the hold, as Shane Reynolds climbs back to his feet and watches it happen. He glances over to Scottywood, sneering at his opponent and mocking him for accepting his offer to sit this one out. Shane makes sure that Scotty is watching, and then wails Stevens in the gut with a big closed fist. And another. And another! Stevens is trying desperately to fight the hold, but there doesn’t look to be any escaping.
Stevens gives one more big lunge backward, pushing Sektor into the ropes in a last ditch effort. Shane charges in with a clothesline to shut that shit down, but Stevens throws all of his weight forward and bends down! As he thrusts back up, he forces John Sektor to throw his own partner over the ropes and out of the ring with a huge back body drop! The crowd explodes!
Outside of the ring, Scottywood gives an audible cheer, still not abandoning his tag team partner, at least in spirit. Back inside, John Sektor aggressively throws Stevens forward and away from him, looking out of the ring to check on Shane. He bails out of the ring, rolling under the ropes to talk to his partner and help him to his feet.
Benny Newell: At least SOMEONE cares about their partner in this match, Joe. Why does the crowd boo these two guys? They’re so fucking respectable!
Joe Hoffman: I just can’t understand what’s going through Scottywood’s head right now, Benny. And I’m sure Scott Stevens can’t either. This is… this is just wrong.
Scott Stevens gives up on his partner, trying to goad both of his opponents back into the ring, refusing to back down. Sektor and Shane each get to opposite sides of the ring, trying to put The Scorpion into a no-win situation, and simultaneously both men slide inside!
Stevens has to make a choice, and he chooses Shane Reynolds. Scott begins laying boots into Shane before he can even stand up, but Sektor spins him around and rails him in the side of the skull. He kicks Stevens in the stomach, setting him up, and Shane grabs the other side. They both lift him overhead, and nail a big double suplex in the middle of the ring! Stevens looks to be broken in half! Sektor and Shane flip an imaginary coin, and Sektor appears to win-- he flips Stevens over and makes the cover.
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
NO! SCOTTYWOOD BREAKS IT UP!
The crowd explodes as Scott Woodson slides back into the ring, knocking John Sektor off of Scott Stevens, right before the three count! Shane looks incensed, attacking Scottywood immediately, but Scottywood picks him up right off the mat and delivers the Game Misconduct!
Joe Hoffman: SCOTTYWOOD IS CLEANING HOUSE! HE’S BACK!
Benny Newell: FUCKING IDIOT CUNT NUGGET! FUCK FUCK!
Scotty considers covering Shane, but instead throws Stevens over top of him and orders Nigel Lette to make the count!
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
NO!
The crowd bursts into a chorus of boos as Shane Reynolds narrowly gets a shoulder up, barely keeping the Best Alliance in this match!
Scotty turns around, and Sektor is back on his feet! The two begin exchanging blows, and a fresh Scottywood rails away with right hands, backing Sektor up with every punch! The World Champion is staggered backward, and Scotty gives him a boot in the stomach-- ANOTHER GAME MISCONDUCT! Both members of the Best Alliance team have now been taken out with Scottywood’s finishing maneuver!
Joe Hoffman: Scottywood is making up for lost time! This is absolutely unbelievable!
Benny Newell: SCOTTY YOU FUCKING DOUCHEBAG, YOU HAD A VERBAL AGREEMENT!
John Sektor rolls out of the ring to safety, as Scott Stevens crawls to his feet. He has a hard staredown with Scotty in the middle of the ring, both men jawing at eachother about what’s happened earlier in this match. They seem to come to an understanding, though, nodding at one another and shrugging it off as they vow to get back into this match. They stand around talking for just a moment, as John Sektor starts to get to his feet, and suddenly Scottywood picks Stevens right up off the ground! The crowd doesn’t know what’s going on, but soon it becomes clear, and Scotty charges forward, helping Stevens launch himself over the ropes and to the outside! He collides with Sektor, and the crowd FUCKING EXPLODES!
A “THAT WAS AWESOME” chant almost immediately picks up in the Chicago crowd, as both Stevens and Sektor sprawl out across the concrete floor! It’s chaos outside of the ring!
Scottywood grabs the ropes, checking on Stevens, but Shane Reynolds grabs him from behind! He’s back on his feet! He gets Scottywood into position….
Joe Hoffman: ORIGINAL SIN! IT’S OVER! IT’S ALL OVER!
Benny Newell: FUCK. YEAH. NEGRO.
Shane rolls Scottywood over, and Nigel Lette counts to a deflated arena.
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
DING DING DING
The match is over, not with a bang, but with a whimper-- Shane Reynolds rolls out of the ring, helping John Sektor to his feet as both men greedily grab their titles back from the time keeper.
Bryan McVay: Here are your winners, in 16:32…. Shane Reynolds and John Sektor… THE BEST…. ALLLLLIIIIIIIAAAAAANCE!
Shane climbs back into the ring, holding the ropes for Sektor as they each make their way back to the middle of the canvas. They each hold their belts high, celebrating a hard fought victory and staring down at Scottywood as HOW Monday Night Mayhem goes off the air.