Post by Jman2k3 on Jul 1, 2018 5:23:14 GMT
The camerashot does indeed switch from backstage to ringside, presenting us with a long familiar visage of Joe Hoffman and Benny Newell, sat behind their announcer’s table. You wouldn’t be surprised to find out that Benny is, well...being Benny. He has a bottle of the Captain in one hand, and a bottle of Jack in the other, and is swigging away with abandon, while Hoffman appears to be taking a quick glance at his notes, right before he swings his gaze up to the camera and starts talking.
Joe Hoffman: Well, folks, we just heard Rhys Townsend do his part when it comes to hyping up tonight’s main event, and after our next contest, I can tell you that we’ll hear from John Sektor.
Benny Newell: AWW FUCK YEAH
Joe Hoffman: I thought that might excite you. Anyway, before we get to hearing from the World Champion, we have a Championship match to bring to you!
Benny Newell: Yeah...this is confusing, Hoffman.
Joe Hoffman: Why, Benny?
Benny Newell: Because of Jace. I hate his hair, yet he’s in the Best Alliance now. So…
Joe Hoffman: Do you hate him or love him?
Benny Newell: EXACTLY!!
Joe Hoffman: Well, you could, like me, try being impartial…
Benny Newell: You’re not fucking impartial, Hoffman. The only difference between me and you is that I’m open about my bias, you’re not.
Joe Hoffman: Because I’m not?
Benny Newell: Don’t lie! Everyone knows you are!
Joe Hoffman: Right. Totally biased, me…
Benny Newell: Yeah. Towards do-gooders and all that sort of boring fucking nonsense. Don’t look at me like that...you totally fucking are!
Joe Hoffman: Anyway, away from discussion about my style of commentary, we do have this LSD Championship match to bring to you. On the one side is Jace, a member of Lee Best’s Best Alliance War Games team, the current LSD Champion - and his opponent? Scott Stevens. Stevens has not been in the greatest of form recently, but he gets a chance to capture Championship gold here tonight - and add it to his War Games match against Scottywood...which has to be a major motivation.
Benny Newell: Won’t matter. Jace is gonna win!
Joe Hoffman: Perhaps - but you have to remember, Benny, that both men have issues outside of the ring - I know that Jace is supporting Tara through some issues she’s having to work through in therapy, while Stevens is attempting to clean up his act, after his father threatened to disown him. So both men may not be fully focused on the match...or they may be ultra focused, as it’s a way for them to not think about their problems. Either way...we should be in for a firecracker of a contest tonight!
Benny Newell: Yeah...I just sorta hope it’s done and dusted relatively quickly so I can get on with popping a boner about watching Sektor retain his World Championship later tonight!
Joe Hoffman: Typical. Anyway, folks, we’re all set here at ringside, so we’re going to throw it over to Bryan McVay for the ring introductions!
The camera switches to Bryan McVay, who, despite doing the same thing week after week after week, never looks bored. In fact, he might even look a little excited as he raises the microphone to his mouth to begin the ring introductions.
Bryan McVay: The following contest is scheduled for one fall, and is to be held under standard LSD Championship rules - which means that anything goes! The match is for the High Octane Wrestling LSD Championship! Introducing first, he is the challenger…
The lights in the arena go pitch black, as red lasers and spotlights light up the area. The video screen lights up and flashes across the screen, "Nothing survives my sting!" The crowd starts booing, but it’s not just a normal level of booing. It’s a booing of pure hatred. Chris Benoit level booing as an electric guitar wails throughout the PA system and the words of Dave Mustaine's voice echoes throughout the arena, "As I climb onto your back, I will promise not to sting. I will, tell you what you want to hear and not mean anything. Then I, treat you like a dog, as I shoot my venom in. You pretend you didn't know, that I am The Scorpion, whoa!"
Bryan McVay: Coming to us from Houston, Texas, he stands at six feet six inches and weighed in at two hundred fifty six pounds, he is a three time HOW ICON Champion and a former HOW LSD Champion, hailing from Houston, Texas….this is “THE SCORPION” SCOTT!!! STEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVEEEEEEEEEEEENSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!
The jeering intensifies as the instrumental after the chorus hits the speakers, drawing out The Scorpion. Walking down the aisle, he talks trash the entire way while raising a fist at a few of the more vocal bashers. As he finally gets to the ring, he climbs the nearest turnbuckle and stares down at the crowd, an icy glare and the throat slash gesture his only actions as he drops to the mat.
Bryan McVay: And his opponent…
Marilyn Manson’s (S)Aint hits, and it heralds the arrival of the LSD Champion, Jace Parker Davidson. He walks out on stage, championship belt in tow, as Bryan McVay swings into his introduction.
Bryan McVay: He is the REIGNING, DEFENDING, High Octane Wrestling LSD Champion! Standing at six feet three inches, weighing in at two hundred fifty five pounds, he has won every Championship that High Octane Wrestling has to offer, coming to us from Miami, Florida, he is JACE! PARKER! DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAVIDSSSSSSSSSSONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!
Jace clambers up into the ring, where HOW’s senior official, Matt Boettcher takes the Championship off him, showing it to the crowd here in the Best Arena. He hands the belt out of the ring, and calls for the bell to get us underway in the first of three Championship matches here tonight!
And there is no interregnum between ring bell and action, oh no - these two seasoned veterans fly at each other in the middle of the ring, going back and forth and back and forth with punch after furious punch, neither man willing to give an inch! This sort of intensity isn’t the kind of thing that anyone can keep up for long, not even if your name is Mike Tyson, so Stevens’ height advantage eventually tells as he manages to put some space between him and Jace, keeping him at bay with a series of furious jabs! Jace eventually charges at Stevens, ducking underneath the jab and taking both men to the outside of the ring!
Benny Newell: Well, if these two fuckers keep this sort of pace up, we won’t be here for long!
Joe Hoffman: That is true, Benny - both of them look like they want nothing more than to destroy the other!
Benny Newell: Well, the LSD Championship IS on the line, Hoffman - if they didn’t, we would be questioning their desire, right?
Joe Hoffman: True enough! But still, the intensity they came roaring out of the gate with is something to behold.
Benny Newell: I’m all for it, if it means we can get on with getting to see Sektor retain!
There’s a momentary scuffle on the floor, Jace managing to get away from the grasp of Stevens with a headbutt, but it is but a momentary respite as the Texan comes charging at him! Jace ducks out of the way, and Stevens manages to stop himself before he ends up crashing through the ringsteps. He turns around to face Jace, who hurls himself at him, knocking Stevens back! Jace gets back up quicker than the dazed Stevens can and whips him the few steps into the ring steps! The steps go flying as Stevens crashes over them, and of course, Jace advances on Stevens straight after. The Texan starts to pull himself to his feet, but Jace reaches down and lends him a hand getting up, before he smashes his head into the ringpost! He doesn’t let Stevens slump to the floor, instead starting to smash his head repeatedly into the ringpost! On the 10th hit, with blood starting to stream out of a newly formed gash in Stevens’ forehead, he releases him!
Joe Hoffman: That HAS to hurt, Benny.
Benny Newell: Ya, no shit jackass. Someone’s gonna drive your head into a fucking ringpost, of course it’s gonna hurt.
Joe Hoffman: Well, I’m just calling the action, Benny…
Benny Newell: With all the intelligence of a kid in pre school, yeah. I had noticed…
Joe Hoffman: What would you rather I did, didn’t call the action at all?
Benny Newell: FUCK YES!!! Hoffman, that would be perfect!!
Hoffman sighs as Jace looks down at Stevens, who he again, drags back up. He starts pulling him towards the announcer’s table, and looks to smash his head against it! Stevens stops it, jabbing into Jace’s gut, staggering the champion back! It doesn’t stop him, as he comes again...and eats another shot to the ribs! And another! And another! Stevens, despite having had the worst of it so far in this contest, starts to fight back, swinging away at Jace with wild abandon, most of his closed fists connecting with skull! Eventually, Davidson goes down hard, and Stevens takes a moment, wiping the blood out of his eyes. He looks around for a weapon, and seeing both of Benny’s bottles of booze, he grabs hold of his bottle of Captain Morgan, and with a swing that Barry Bonds woulda been proud of, takes aim and annihilates the bottle against the side of Jace’s head!!
Benny Newell: FUCK NO! OHHHHHHH TELL ME HE DID NOT JUST DO THAT, HOFFMAN.
Joe Hoffman: Destroyed your bottle of rum? I think he did…
Benny Newell: OH, I HATE THAT MOTHERFUCKER NOW. I’LL FUCKING KILL HIM, HOFFMAN. FUCKING KILL HIM!!!
Joe Hoffman: Honestly, I don’t get why you’re screeching. You still have a bottle right here…
Benny Newell: FUCK YOU. SERIOUSLY, FUCK YOU. FUCK ALL OF YOU!!
Joe Hoffman: Uhh...production? Can we get another bottle out here for Benny? I think he might be about to go postal…
Jace, like Stevens, is now bleeding freely - and finds himself dragged up to his feet as Stevens gets a handful of his no doubt expensive hair. He doesn’t just pull him up - no - with his hair, he hurls him into the barricade at ringside! Jace crashes against it, and again, Stevens grabs a handful of his hair, picking him back up before he delivers a vertical suplex right onto one half of the ringsteps! Jace cries out in pain as the man from Texas looks to continue his relentless assault, again, picking Jace up, and this time, rolling him into the ring.
Benny Newell: Fucking production jackoffs were quick getting this replacement bottle out here…
Joe Hoffman: It’s what they’re paid for. Like how you’re paid to commentate, not to drink…
Benny Newell: My contract might say commentator, but we both know my job description says “The Entertaining, Charismatic Motherfucker on Commentary that everyone tunes in for.”
Joe Hoffman: I don’t think it does, Benny.
Benny Newell: No, it does. I’ll show you, next week.
Joe Hoffman: Right. Sure…
Benny Newell: Fuck you! I’m not lying.
Joe Hoffman: Didn’t say you were, Benny. Now, why don’t you have a dri…
Benny Newell: DRINK!!!!
Stevens slides in after Jace, right around the time the Champion is getting up, and he uncorks a punch the size of Texas to knock Davidson back to his ass! Not that he’s left there because he’s dragged straight back to his feet, before being planted on his head with Houston We Have A Problem! Again, he doesn’t leave him on the mat, doesn’t leave him even the smallest of windows to recover, because again, he is dragging the Champion back to his vertical base, before he delivers the Arachnid-Plex, and manages to hold the bridge for the pinfall attempt!
One….
Two…..
No!!
Jace kicks out!!
Joe Hoffman: I think Stevens is moving through the gears here and looking for the end game, Benny…
Benny Newell: Of course he is, Hoffman - he is, potentially, just three seconds away from having Championship gold to strap around his waist again. Or, y’know...wear over his shoulder. If he’s a fag.
Joe Hoffman: I don’t think that how a Champion wears his Championship is a good way to decide if he is a fag or not, Benny.
Benny Newell: Fuck yeah it is, Hoffman. Real men, real Champions strap that shit around their waist. Fags wear it over their shoulder. I’m telling ya, this is the fucking truth! DRINK!
Stevens holds up two fingers to Boettcher as he gets to his feet, questioning the count - but Boettcher confirms it was nothing more than a two. He looks at Jace, who’s just starting to stir, and sees an opportunity. He grabs Jace’s legs and steps through, looking for the Arachnophobia...but before he can start to lock the hold in, Jace kicks him away! Stevens rebounds into the ropes, and comes back at Jace, who’s found it within himself to nip back up to his feet and quickly DDT him!
Joe Hoffman: Momentum swing! Did Stevens lose the initiative by looking for that submission hold, instead of coming up with another tactic that might have led him to the pinfall?
Benny Newell: Yeah, well...it’s easier to keep a guy’s shoulders down for three seconds or so than it is to make them give up, no?
Joe Hoffman: Yeah, I would agree with that, Benny.
Benny Newell: Of course you would - I’m always fucking right.
Joe Hoffman: Well, I don…
Benny Newell: Shut the fuck up! DRINK!!!
Jace takes his time getting back to his feet, getting his breath back and wiping at the blood that has been intermittently dripping into his eyes. Stevens though, he doesn’t give a fuck about that - he gets back up and starts swinging once again! But Jace, however, has seen that coming this time, and nails him with a standing leg lariat! Stevens goes down hard, but again, pops straight back up! There’s a boot to the gut, and the second Death Valley Driver of the contest comes out as Jace drives Stevens right onto his head! He doesn’t leave him prone, doesn’t let him get up on his own, instead picking himself up himself before he drives him into the canvas with the Twisted Reality!!! He moves into a pinfall attempt as Boettcher drops…
One….
Two……
Three!!!!
Bryan McVay: Your winner….and STILL HOW LSD Champion, after 14 minutes, 33 seconds….JACE! PARKER! DAVIDDDDDDDDDSSSSSSSSSSSONNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!
Jace is handed his LSD Championship belt, and starts to celebrate with it.
Benny Newell: Well, thank fuck that’s over. Jace retains, which is what he should have done, because, well, God would be disappointed otherwise, and you do NOT want to disappoint Lee motherfucking Best!
Joe Hoffman: I hear that, Benny. Either way, we still have two Championship contests left to bring you this evening - David Black takes on Shane Reynolds for Reynolds’ ICON Championship, and then we have our main event, as Rhys Townsend strives for his fifth HOW World Championship in only his second match since returning from “retirement”, as he takes on the reigning HOW World Champion, John Sektor. And right now, I believe, we can go backstage to hear from the World Champion himself!
Benny Newell: Aww fuck yeah!! DRINK!
Joe Hoffman: Well, folks, we just heard Rhys Townsend do his part when it comes to hyping up tonight’s main event, and after our next contest, I can tell you that we’ll hear from John Sektor.
Benny Newell: AWW FUCK YEAH
Joe Hoffman: I thought that might excite you. Anyway, before we get to hearing from the World Champion, we have a Championship match to bring to you!
Benny Newell: Yeah...this is confusing, Hoffman.
Joe Hoffman: Why, Benny?
Benny Newell: Because of Jace. I hate his hair, yet he’s in the Best Alliance now. So…
Joe Hoffman: Do you hate him or love him?
Benny Newell: EXACTLY!!
Joe Hoffman: Well, you could, like me, try being impartial…
Benny Newell: You’re not fucking impartial, Hoffman. The only difference between me and you is that I’m open about my bias, you’re not.
Joe Hoffman: Because I’m not?
Benny Newell: Don’t lie! Everyone knows you are!
Joe Hoffman: Right. Totally biased, me…
Benny Newell: Yeah. Towards do-gooders and all that sort of boring fucking nonsense. Don’t look at me like that...you totally fucking are!
Joe Hoffman: Anyway, away from discussion about my style of commentary, we do have this LSD Championship match to bring to you. On the one side is Jace, a member of Lee Best’s Best Alliance War Games team, the current LSD Champion - and his opponent? Scott Stevens. Stevens has not been in the greatest of form recently, but he gets a chance to capture Championship gold here tonight - and add it to his War Games match against Scottywood...which has to be a major motivation.
Benny Newell: Won’t matter. Jace is gonna win!
Joe Hoffman: Perhaps - but you have to remember, Benny, that both men have issues outside of the ring - I know that Jace is supporting Tara through some issues she’s having to work through in therapy, while Stevens is attempting to clean up his act, after his father threatened to disown him. So both men may not be fully focused on the match...or they may be ultra focused, as it’s a way for them to not think about their problems. Either way...we should be in for a firecracker of a contest tonight!
Benny Newell: Yeah...I just sorta hope it’s done and dusted relatively quickly so I can get on with popping a boner about watching Sektor retain his World Championship later tonight!
Joe Hoffman: Typical. Anyway, folks, we’re all set here at ringside, so we’re going to throw it over to Bryan McVay for the ring introductions!
The camera switches to Bryan McVay, who, despite doing the same thing week after week after week, never looks bored. In fact, he might even look a little excited as he raises the microphone to his mouth to begin the ring introductions.
Bryan McVay: The following contest is scheduled for one fall, and is to be held under standard LSD Championship rules - which means that anything goes! The match is for the High Octane Wrestling LSD Championship! Introducing first, he is the challenger…
The lights in the arena go pitch black, as red lasers and spotlights light up the area. The video screen lights up and flashes across the screen, "Nothing survives my sting!" The crowd starts booing, but it’s not just a normal level of booing. It’s a booing of pure hatred. Chris Benoit level booing as an electric guitar wails throughout the PA system and the words of Dave Mustaine's voice echoes throughout the arena, "As I climb onto your back, I will promise not to sting. I will, tell you what you want to hear and not mean anything. Then I, treat you like a dog, as I shoot my venom in. You pretend you didn't know, that I am The Scorpion, whoa!"
Bryan McVay: Coming to us from Houston, Texas, he stands at six feet six inches and weighed in at two hundred fifty six pounds, he is a three time HOW ICON Champion and a former HOW LSD Champion, hailing from Houston, Texas….this is “THE SCORPION” SCOTT!!! STEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVEEEEEEEEEEEENSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!
The jeering intensifies as the instrumental after the chorus hits the speakers, drawing out The Scorpion. Walking down the aisle, he talks trash the entire way while raising a fist at a few of the more vocal bashers. As he finally gets to the ring, he climbs the nearest turnbuckle and stares down at the crowd, an icy glare and the throat slash gesture his only actions as he drops to the mat.
Bryan McVay: And his opponent…
Marilyn Manson’s (S)Aint hits, and it heralds the arrival of the LSD Champion, Jace Parker Davidson. He walks out on stage, championship belt in tow, as Bryan McVay swings into his introduction.
Bryan McVay: He is the REIGNING, DEFENDING, High Octane Wrestling LSD Champion! Standing at six feet three inches, weighing in at two hundred fifty five pounds, he has won every Championship that High Octane Wrestling has to offer, coming to us from Miami, Florida, he is JACE! PARKER! DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAVIDSSSSSSSSSSONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!
Jace clambers up into the ring, where HOW’s senior official, Matt Boettcher takes the Championship off him, showing it to the crowd here in the Best Arena. He hands the belt out of the ring, and calls for the bell to get us underway in the first of three Championship matches here tonight!
And there is no interregnum between ring bell and action, oh no - these two seasoned veterans fly at each other in the middle of the ring, going back and forth and back and forth with punch after furious punch, neither man willing to give an inch! This sort of intensity isn’t the kind of thing that anyone can keep up for long, not even if your name is Mike Tyson, so Stevens’ height advantage eventually tells as he manages to put some space between him and Jace, keeping him at bay with a series of furious jabs! Jace eventually charges at Stevens, ducking underneath the jab and taking both men to the outside of the ring!
Benny Newell: Well, if these two fuckers keep this sort of pace up, we won’t be here for long!
Joe Hoffman: That is true, Benny - both of them look like they want nothing more than to destroy the other!
Benny Newell: Well, the LSD Championship IS on the line, Hoffman - if they didn’t, we would be questioning their desire, right?
Joe Hoffman: True enough! But still, the intensity they came roaring out of the gate with is something to behold.
Benny Newell: I’m all for it, if it means we can get on with getting to see Sektor retain!
There’s a momentary scuffle on the floor, Jace managing to get away from the grasp of Stevens with a headbutt, but it is but a momentary respite as the Texan comes charging at him! Jace ducks out of the way, and Stevens manages to stop himself before he ends up crashing through the ringsteps. He turns around to face Jace, who hurls himself at him, knocking Stevens back! Jace gets back up quicker than the dazed Stevens can and whips him the few steps into the ring steps! The steps go flying as Stevens crashes over them, and of course, Jace advances on Stevens straight after. The Texan starts to pull himself to his feet, but Jace reaches down and lends him a hand getting up, before he smashes his head into the ringpost! He doesn’t let Stevens slump to the floor, instead starting to smash his head repeatedly into the ringpost! On the 10th hit, with blood starting to stream out of a newly formed gash in Stevens’ forehead, he releases him!
Joe Hoffman: That HAS to hurt, Benny.
Benny Newell: Ya, no shit jackass. Someone’s gonna drive your head into a fucking ringpost, of course it’s gonna hurt.
Joe Hoffman: Well, I’m just calling the action, Benny…
Benny Newell: With all the intelligence of a kid in pre school, yeah. I had noticed…
Joe Hoffman: What would you rather I did, didn’t call the action at all?
Benny Newell: FUCK YES!!! Hoffman, that would be perfect!!
Hoffman sighs as Jace looks down at Stevens, who he again, drags back up. He starts pulling him towards the announcer’s table, and looks to smash his head against it! Stevens stops it, jabbing into Jace’s gut, staggering the champion back! It doesn’t stop him, as he comes again...and eats another shot to the ribs! And another! And another! Stevens, despite having had the worst of it so far in this contest, starts to fight back, swinging away at Jace with wild abandon, most of his closed fists connecting with skull! Eventually, Davidson goes down hard, and Stevens takes a moment, wiping the blood out of his eyes. He looks around for a weapon, and seeing both of Benny’s bottles of booze, he grabs hold of his bottle of Captain Morgan, and with a swing that Barry Bonds woulda been proud of, takes aim and annihilates the bottle against the side of Jace’s head!!
Benny Newell: FUCK NO! OHHHHHHH TELL ME HE DID NOT JUST DO THAT, HOFFMAN.
Joe Hoffman: Destroyed your bottle of rum? I think he did…
Benny Newell: OH, I HATE THAT MOTHERFUCKER NOW. I’LL FUCKING KILL HIM, HOFFMAN. FUCKING KILL HIM!!!
Joe Hoffman: Honestly, I don’t get why you’re screeching. You still have a bottle right here…
Benny Newell: FUCK YOU. SERIOUSLY, FUCK YOU. FUCK ALL OF YOU!!
Joe Hoffman: Uhh...production? Can we get another bottle out here for Benny? I think he might be about to go postal…
Jace, like Stevens, is now bleeding freely - and finds himself dragged up to his feet as Stevens gets a handful of his no doubt expensive hair. He doesn’t just pull him up - no - with his hair, he hurls him into the barricade at ringside! Jace crashes against it, and again, Stevens grabs a handful of his hair, picking him back up before he delivers a vertical suplex right onto one half of the ringsteps! Jace cries out in pain as the man from Texas looks to continue his relentless assault, again, picking Jace up, and this time, rolling him into the ring.
Benny Newell: Fucking production jackoffs were quick getting this replacement bottle out here…
Joe Hoffman: It’s what they’re paid for. Like how you’re paid to commentate, not to drink…
Benny Newell: My contract might say commentator, but we both know my job description says “The Entertaining, Charismatic Motherfucker on Commentary that everyone tunes in for.”
Joe Hoffman: I don’t think it does, Benny.
Benny Newell: No, it does. I’ll show you, next week.
Joe Hoffman: Right. Sure…
Benny Newell: Fuck you! I’m not lying.
Joe Hoffman: Didn’t say you were, Benny. Now, why don’t you have a dri…
Benny Newell: DRINK!!!!
Stevens slides in after Jace, right around the time the Champion is getting up, and he uncorks a punch the size of Texas to knock Davidson back to his ass! Not that he’s left there because he’s dragged straight back to his feet, before being planted on his head with Houston We Have A Problem! Again, he doesn’t leave him on the mat, doesn’t leave him even the smallest of windows to recover, because again, he is dragging the Champion back to his vertical base, before he delivers the Arachnid-Plex, and manages to hold the bridge for the pinfall attempt!
One….
Two…..
No!!
Jace kicks out!!
Joe Hoffman: I think Stevens is moving through the gears here and looking for the end game, Benny…
Benny Newell: Of course he is, Hoffman - he is, potentially, just three seconds away from having Championship gold to strap around his waist again. Or, y’know...wear over his shoulder. If he’s a fag.
Joe Hoffman: I don’t think that how a Champion wears his Championship is a good way to decide if he is a fag or not, Benny.
Benny Newell: Fuck yeah it is, Hoffman. Real men, real Champions strap that shit around their waist. Fags wear it over their shoulder. I’m telling ya, this is the fucking truth! DRINK!
Stevens holds up two fingers to Boettcher as he gets to his feet, questioning the count - but Boettcher confirms it was nothing more than a two. He looks at Jace, who’s just starting to stir, and sees an opportunity. He grabs Jace’s legs and steps through, looking for the Arachnophobia...but before he can start to lock the hold in, Jace kicks him away! Stevens rebounds into the ropes, and comes back at Jace, who’s found it within himself to nip back up to his feet and quickly DDT him!
Joe Hoffman: Momentum swing! Did Stevens lose the initiative by looking for that submission hold, instead of coming up with another tactic that might have led him to the pinfall?
Benny Newell: Yeah, well...it’s easier to keep a guy’s shoulders down for three seconds or so than it is to make them give up, no?
Joe Hoffman: Yeah, I would agree with that, Benny.
Benny Newell: Of course you would - I’m always fucking right.
Joe Hoffman: Well, I don…
Benny Newell: Shut the fuck up! DRINK!!!
Jace takes his time getting back to his feet, getting his breath back and wiping at the blood that has been intermittently dripping into his eyes. Stevens though, he doesn’t give a fuck about that - he gets back up and starts swinging once again! But Jace, however, has seen that coming this time, and nails him with a standing leg lariat! Stevens goes down hard, but again, pops straight back up! There’s a boot to the gut, and the second Death Valley Driver of the contest comes out as Jace drives Stevens right onto his head! He doesn’t leave him prone, doesn’t let him get up on his own, instead picking himself up himself before he drives him into the canvas with the Twisted Reality!!! He moves into a pinfall attempt as Boettcher drops…
One….
Two……
Three!!!!
Bryan McVay: Your winner….and STILL HOW LSD Champion, after 14 minutes, 33 seconds….JACE! PARKER! DAVIDDDDDDDDDSSSSSSSSSSSONNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!
Jace is handed his LSD Championship belt, and starts to celebrate with it.
Benny Newell: Well, thank fuck that’s over. Jace retains, which is what he should have done, because, well, God would be disappointed otherwise, and you do NOT want to disappoint Lee motherfucking Best!
Joe Hoffman: I hear that, Benny. Either way, we still have two Championship contests left to bring you this evening - David Black takes on Shane Reynolds for Reynolds’ ICON Championship, and then we have our main event, as Rhys Townsend strives for his fifth HOW World Championship in only his second match since returning from “retirement”, as he takes on the reigning HOW World Champion, John Sektor. And right now, I believe, we can go backstage to hear from the World Champion himself!
Benny Newell: Aww fuck yeah!! DRINK!