Post by Jman2k3 on Aug 29, 2017 2:02:39 GMT
PCW EXTREME POLITICAL TV
Michigan City, IN
Sunday January 15th, 2017
Johnny Suave (v/o): So tonight, it’ll be the ‘One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism of the Progressive Alliance versus Kirk Walstreit from the American Patriots in a PCW Title Number One Contender’s match. And in tonight’s main event, five teams will vie for the PCW Tag Team Title. James the Jeep Worker and the Ultimate Social Justice Warrior of the Progressive Alliance…Starz N. Stripes and Kirk Walstreit from the American Patriots…Charlie Blackwell and ‘Red Solo Plastic Cup’ Ray McAvay of the Les Miserables…A.J. Alabama and Stevie ‘War’ Eagles of the S-E-C…and The Goatbusters- Ray Scantz and Peter Jenkman.
The camera cuts to Johnny Suave and Colleen Crowder at the broadcast table.
Johnny Suave: We will also hear from the ‘One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism about the incident last week at the Golden Globes involving the Les Miserables, but first…
E.J. Flack
E.J. Flack
Johnny Suave: …here comes PCW’s new signing, E.J. Flack.
E.J. points to the insignia on his jacket.
narfle-the-garthok
Johnny Suave: E.J. debuted this past weekend at PCW’s Battle Creek, Michigan house show.
(REPLAY: Flack’s Debut in Battle Creek)
[Flack is in the ring. McGill is standing back along the ropes and watching.
E.J. Flack: …forget about ‘rowing the boat,’ sometimes in life, you have to face the big monster thingy. Sometimes in life, you have to take on something that’s bigger than you even if its huge tusks can shred you to bits in seconds…even if its jagged teeth can tear through you like a hot knife through warm butter. Sometimes when you’re climbing life’s mountain and come up against insurmountable odds, you have to…
Flack pauses for dramatic effect.
E.J. Flack: …‘Narfle the Garthok!’]
Colleen Crowder: I’m confused. What’s a garthok? What’s narfle-ing? That’s sounds sexist in some way.
Johnny Suave: E.J. is in the ring and we’re about to find out who he will be managing here in PCW.
E.J. gazes out into the crowd.
E.J. Flack: Ladies and gentlemen. My name is E.J. Flack and I am not here to change traditions. I am not here to pursue an agenda. I am here in PCW because it is a challenge. And I eat challenges for breakfast. That’s why I’m here. And that’s why I will be managing the young man who’s about to come to the ring.
Ring Announcer Kimber Marshall steps into the ring.
Kimber Marshall: Introducing first. Weighing in at 200 pounds. From Beachwood, Ohio. He is…THE MILLENNIAL MAN!
Out walks the young man known as the Millennial Man.
Johnny Suave: Well? The Millennial Man has had quite the inauspicious start here in PCW. First, he was destroyed by not one, not two, but three men back in November at PCW Extreme Election Night 2016. Then last weekend in Battle Creek, he lasted a whopping seventeen seconds against the phenomenon known as Jill Berg.
(REPLAY: Jill Berg vs. Millennial Man at Battle Creek, MI)
[Referee Davey Keels calls for the bell.
Millennial Man charges towards the diminutive five foot four Jill Berg. He reaches out for her. She spins around and clocks him in the mouth with a spinning heel kick that sends him toppling sideways to the mat. He’s unconscious before he even hits the ground.
Jill shakes her head sadly and takes her time going over and making the pin. She doesn’t even bother to hook the leg. Berg sticks her foot on Millennial Man’s stomach and Keels makes the count.
One…Two…Three. ]
Millennial Man reaches the ring and shakes hands with E.J. Flack.
E.J. Flack: Now, Millennial Man. Tonight is a start of a new journey for you. Tonight, you will learn to…Narfle the Garthok!
Millennial Man looks confused.
Colleen Crowder: See? I’m not the only one.
E.J. Flack: You are going to learn how to eat difficult situations. You are going to learn not to back down from a task that seems to be impossible. You are going to find a way to out-care, out-give, and out-how everyone else here in PCW. What are you going to do?
Quick close up on Millennial Man. He still has the slightly glazed expression etched on his face.
Millennial Man (unsure): Umm…row the boa-
E.J. Flack: Noooo. An oar is nothing more than a mere snack for a Garthok. A Garthok uses an oar as frickin’ toothpick. And a boat becomes dilapidated in time.
Johnny Suave: And Western Michigan owns the trademark for ‘Row the Boat.’
E.J. Flack: When you’re climbing life’s mountain and come up against insurmountable odds, you don’t row something, you…
Flack raises his arm and the PCW fans respond.
NARFLE THE GARTHOK!
E.J. Flack: That’s right. Millennial Man, last week you lost to Jill Berg in seventeen seconds in Battle Creek. In my system, you start with modest goals and take baby steps forward. Tonight, your goal is this- to last more than seventeen seconds in the ring. Seventeen seconds. That’s all you have to (pause) Narfle the Garthok!
NARFLE THE GARTHOK!
Millennial Man: Seventeen seconds?
E.J. Flack: Seventeen seconds.
Millennial Man still doesn’t seem completely convinced. But…
Millennial Man: Okay.
…he goes along with the concept.
E.J. Flack: And?
Millennial Man: Narfle the Garthok?
NARFLE THE GARTHOK!
Johnny Suave: That’s a pretty good pep talk. The Millennial Man seemed to absorb what Flack was saying to him. Now, the question is can Millennial Man be inspired enough by it to pull off his first win in PCW…or at the least, last longer than seventeen seconds?
Kimber Marshall: And his opponent…
The lights in the arena go pitch black, as red lasers and spotlights light up the area. The video screen lights up and flashes across the screen a Texas flag, with the words, “Texas Born. Texas Bred.” “Texas Forever.“ branded into the flag. The crowd reaction is mixed, but there are more cheers than boos, as the opening guitar riffs and “Hellraiser” by Motorhead begins to play throughout the PA system.
Johnny Suave: Oooh. I wouldn’t bet the ranch on it.
Colleen Crowder: Why? Who is it?
Kimber Marshall: Introducing at this time, coming to the ring from the great state of Texas, by way of Houston!
The cheers intensify as the chorus hits the speakers, drawing out the man from Texas- Scott Stevens.
Huge pop for the Scorpion.
The Millennial Man didn’t look all that concerned at first. But then the six foot six, two hundred and fifty-six pound Stevens steps out on stage.
Kimber Marshall: This… is… SCOTT SSTTEEVVEENNSS!!!
The millennial’s jaw drops. He turns to Flack and points at Stevens on the ramp.
Johnny Suave: AND SCOTT STEVENS IS HERE IN PCW!
Colleen Crowder: He’s like a real wrestler, right?
Johnny Suave: You could say that.
Colleen Crowder (becomes indignant): Johnny, this is simply not fair! PCW is blatantly being unfair to the Millennial Man.
Johnny Suave: Is that a story or another New York Times’ narrative.
Colleen Crowder: We do narrative. We set the agenda for what America talks about. And our narrative is Millennial Man is being treated unfair.
WELCOME BACK (CLAP CLAP CLAP-CLAP-CLAP)
WELCOME BACK (CLAP CLAP CLAP-CLAP-CLAP)
Flack gives a petrified Millennial Man a pep talk as Stevens climbs into the ring.
Johnny Suave: Well the real story here Colleen is that Millennial Man wants to be in pro wrestling and tonight he’s going to get a lesson from an experienced ring veteran who’s wrestled all over the world in Scott Stevens. This is not Scott Stevens’s first PCW appearance. Stevens headlined 2015’s PCW Reunion Show when he tag teamed with Julliet Brooks against Ray McAvay and Rah.
===========================
MATCH 1
The Millennial Man w/Manager E.J. Flack vs. ‘The Scorpion’ Scott Stevens
Referee: Davey Keels
millennial-man
HT: 6’-1” WT: 200 / HOME: Beachwood, OH / FIN: Parent’s Basement Slam
Scott Stevens- “The Scorpion”
HT: 6′ 6″ WT: 256 / HOME: Houston, TX / FIN: Toxic Sting
===========================
Davey Keels finishes his pre-match check. Flack takes his place outside in the ring by the Millennial Man’s corner.
Stevens paces back and forth in his corner.
Johnny Suave: Scott Stevens looks all business here.
Colleen Crowder: Where’s the fairness here? What chance does Millennial Man have?
Keels calls for the bell.
Johnny Suave: Well? We’re about to find out.
Millennial Man steels himself. He faces Stevens- who waits patiently for the young wrestler to come out.
Flack points at Millennial Man.
E.J. Flack: Narfle the Garthok!
NARFLE THE GARTHOK!
Then MM inexplicatively rushes the Scorpion.
Johnny Suave: WHAT IS HE DOING?
A bemused Stevens shakes his head and let’s MM flail away on him, not unlike Andy Kaufman in one of his infamous wrestling matches against Jerry ‘The King’ Lawler back in the early 80’s. Stevens almost laughs at the feeble, but well intentioned, attempt at offense. Then…
Johnny Suave: FIREMAN’S CARRY!
Unfortunately for the Millennial Man, he would meet the same fate as Andy Kaufman.
Stevens lifts the Millennial Man into the air. He then falls and drives MM’s head to the mat.
Johnny Suave: HOUSTON WE HAVE A PROBLEM!
Colleen Crowder (confused): Problem? What problem?
Stevens pulls Millennial Man back to his feet. He turns and grabs the back of MM’s head…
Johnny Suave: It’s the name of the move…TOXIC STING!
The crowd pops as Millennial Man’s body bounces after being spiked to the mat. He does a subtle 180 mid-air spin and lands on his back.
Johnny Suave: COVER. ONE-TWO-THREE!
Keels calls for the bell.
Johnny Suave: SCOTT STEVENS NAILS THE MILLENNIAL MAN WITH THE TOXIC STING AND THAT IS YOUR MATCH! Now, the question is how long did Stevens take to win this?
Colleen Crowder: Yes. Did he at least last longer than seventeen seconds?
Kimber Marshall rolls into the ring to make it official.
Kimber Marshall: Your winner…at TWENTY-ONE SECONDS…’THE SCORPION’ SCOTT SSTTEEVVEENNSS!!!”
E.J. Flack pumps his fist as the millennial reaches the goal of lasting more than seventeen seconds.
Johnny Suave: He did it! Scott Stevens demolishes the Millennial Man in twenty-one seconds to kick off PCW Extreme Political TV. Millennial Man survived twenty-one seconds.
Colleen Crowder: The narrative here is that the Millennial Man won by lasting twenty-one seconds, four seconds more than his match last weekend.
Johnny Suave: I suspect he lasted more than seventeen seconds only because Scott Stevens let him.
Michigan City, IN
Sunday January 15th, 2017
Johnny Suave (v/o): So tonight, it’ll be the ‘One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism of the Progressive Alliance versus Kirk Walstreit from the American Patriots in a PCW Title Number One Contender’s match. And in tonight’s main event, five teams will vie for the PCW Tag Team Title. James the Jeep Worker and the Ultimate Social Justice Warrior of the Progressive Alliance…Starz N. Stripes and Kirk Walstreit from the American Patriots…Charlie Blackwell and ‘Red Solo Plastic Cup’ Ray McAvay of the Les Miserables…A.J. Alabama and Stevie ‘War’ Eagles of the S-E-C…and The Goatbusters- Ray Scantz and Peter Jenkman.
The camera cuts to Johnny Suave and Colleen Crowder at the broadcast table.
Johnny Suave: We will also hear from the ‘One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism about the incident last week at the Golden Globes involving the Les Miserables, but first…
E.J. Flack
E.J. Flack
Johnny Suave: …here comes PCW’s new signing, E.J. Flack.
E.J. points to the insignia on his jacket.
narfle-the-garthok
Johnny Suave: E.J. debuted this past weekend at PCW’s Battle Creek, Michigan house show.
(REPLAY: Flack’s Debut in Battle Creek)
[Flack is in the ring. McGill is standing back along the ropes and watching.
E.J. Flack: …forget about ‘rowing the boat,’ sometimes in life, you have to face the big monster thingy. Sometimes in life, you have to take on something that’s bigger than you even if its huge tusks can shred you to bits in seconds…even if its jagged teeth can tear through you like a hot knife through warm butter. Sometimes when you’re climbing life’s mountain and come up against insurmountable odds, you have to…
Flack pauses for dramatic effect.
E.J. Flack: …‘Narfle the Garthok!’]
Colleen Crowder: I’m confused. What’s a garthok? What’s narfle-ing? That’s sounds sexist in some way.
Johnny Suave: E.J. is in the ring and we’re about to find out who he will be managing here in PCW.
E.J. gazes out into the crowd.
E.J. Flack: Ladies and gentlemen. My name is E.J. Flack and I am not here to change traditions. I am not here to pursue an agenda. I am here in PCW because it is a challenge. And I eat challenges for breakfast. That’s why I’m here. And that’s why I will be managing the young man who’s about to come to the ring.
Ring Announcer Kimber Marshall steps into the ring.
Kimber Marshall: Introducing first. Weighing in at 200 pounds. From Beachwood, Ohio. He is…THE MILLENNIAL MAN!
Out walks the young man known as the Millennial Man.
Johnny Suave: Well? The Millennial Man has had quite the inauspicious start here in PCW. First, he was destroyed by not one, not two, but three men back in November at PCW Extreme Election Night 2016. Then last weekend in Battle Creek, he lasted a whopping seventeen seconds against the phenomenon known as Jill Berg.
(REPLAY: Jill Berg vs. Millennial Man at Battle Creek, MI)
[Referee Davey Keels calls for the bell.
Millennial Man charges towards the diminutive five foot four Jill Berg. He reaches out for her. She spins around and clocks him in the mouth with a spinning heel kick that sends him toppling sideways to the mat. He’s unconscious before he even hits the ground.
Jill shakes her head sadly and takes her time going over and making the pin. She doesn’t even bother to hook the leg. Berg sticks her foot on Millennial Man’s stomach and Keels makes the count.
One…Two…Three. ]
Millennial Man reaches the ring and shakes hands with E.J. Flack.
E.J. Flack: Now, Millennial Man. Tonight is a start of a new journey for you. Tonight, you will learn to…Narfle the Garthok!
Millennial Man looks confused.
Colleen Crowder: See? I’m not the only one.
E.J. Flack: You are going to learn how to eat difficult situations. You are going to learn not to back down from a task that seems to be impossible. You are going to find a way to out-care, out-give, and out-how everyone else here in PCW. What are you going to do?
Quick close up on Millennial Man. He still has the slightly glazed expression etched on his face.
Millennial Man (unsure): Umm…row the boa-
E.J. Flack: Noooo. An oar is nothing more than a mere snack for a Garthok. A Garthok uses an oar as frickin’ toothpick. And a boat becomes dilapidated in time.
Johnny Suave: And Western Michigan owns the trademark for ‘Row the Boat.’
E.J. Flack: When you’re climbing life’s mountain and come up against insurmountable odds, you don’t row something, you…
Flack raises his arm and the PCW fans respond.
NARFLE THE GARTHOK!
E.J. Flack: That’s right. Millennial Man, last week you lost to Jill Berg in seventeen seconds in Battle Creek. In my system, you start with modest goals and take baby steps forward. Tonight, your goal is this- to last more than seventeen seconds in the ring. Seventeen seconds. That’s all you have to (pause) Narfle the Garthok!
NARFLE THE GARTHOK!
Millennial Man: Seventeen seconds?
E.J. Flack: Seventeen seconds.
Millennial Man still doesn’t seem completely convinced. But…
Millennial Man: Okay.
…he goes along with the concept.
E.J. Flack: And?
Millennial Man: Narfle the Garthok?
NARFLE THE GARTHOK!
Johnny Suave: That’s a pretty good pep talk. The Millennial Man seemed to absorb what Flack was saying to him. Now, the question is can Millennial Man be inspired enough by it to pull off his first win in PCW…or at the least, last longer than seventeen seconds?
Kimber Marshall: And his opponent…
The lights in the arena go pitch black, as red lasers and spotlights light up the area. The video screen lights up and flashes across the screen a Texas flag, with the words, “Texas Born. Texas Bred.” “Texas Forever.“ branded into the flag. The crowd reaction is mixed, but there are more cheers than boos, as the opening guitar riffs and “Hellraiser” by Motorhead begins to play throughout the PA system.
Johnny Suave: Oooh. I wouldn’t bet the ranch on it.
Colleen Crowder: Why? Who is it?
Kimber Marshall: Introducing at this time, coming to the ring from the great state of Texas, by way of Houston!
The cheers intensify as the chorus hits the speakers, drawing out the man from Texas- Scott Stevens.
Huge pop for the Scorpion.
The Millennial Man didn’t look all that concerned at first. But then the six foot six, two hundred and fifty-six pound Stevens steps out on stage.
Kimber Marshall: This… is… SCOTT SSTTEEVVEENNSS!!!
The millennial’s jaw drops. He turns to Flack and points at Stevens on the ramp.
Johnny Suave: AND SCOTT STEVENS IS HERE IN PCW!
Colleen Crowder: He’s like a real wrestler, right?
Johnny Suave: You could say that.
Colleen Crowder (becomes indignant): Johnny, this is simply not fair! PCW is blatantly being unfair to the Millennial Man.
Johnny Suave: Is that a story or another New York Times’ narrative.
Colleen Crowder: We do narrative. We set the agenda for what America talks about. And our narrative is Millennial Man is being treated unfair.
WELCOME BACK (CLAP CLAP CLAP-CLAP-CLAP)
WELCOME BACK (CLAP CLAP CLAP-CLAP-CLAP)
Flack gives a petrified Millennial Man a pep talk as Stevens climbs into the ring.
Johnny Suave: Well the real story here Colleen is that Millennial Man wants to be in pro wrestling and tonight he’s going to get a lesson from an experienced ring veteran who’s wrestled all over the world in Scott Stevens. This is not Scott Stevens’s first PCW appearance. Stevens headlined 2015’s PCW Reunion Show when he tag teamed with Julliet Brooks against Ray McAvay and Rah.
===========================
MATCH 1
The Millennial Man w/Manager E.J. Flack vs. ‘The Scorpion’ Scott Stevens
Referee: Davey Keels
millennial-man
HT: 6’-1” WT: 200 / HOME: Beachwood, OH / FIN: Parent’s Basement Slam
Scott Stevens- “The Scorpion”
HT: 6′ 6″ WT: 256 / HOME: Houston, TX / FIN: Toxic Sting
===========================
Davey Keels finishes his pre-match check. Flack takes his place outside in the ring by the Millennial Man’s corner.
Stevens paces back and forth in his corner.
Johnny Suave: Scott Stevens looks all business here.
Colleen Crowder: Where’s the fairness here? What chance does Millennial Man have?
Keels calls for the bell.
Johnny Suave: Well? We’re about to find out.
Millennial Man steels himself. He faces Stevens- who waits patiently for the young wrestler to come out.
Flack points at Millennial Man.
E.J. Flack: Narfle the Garthok!
NARFLE THE GARTHOK!
Then MM inexplicatively rushes the Scorpion.
Johnny Suave: WHAT IS HE DOING?
A bemused Stevens shakes his head and let’s MM flail away on him, not unlike Andy Kaufman in one of his infamous wrestling matches against Jerry ‘The King’ Lawler back in the early 80’s. Stevens almost laughs at the feeble, but well intentioned, attempt at offense. Then…
Johnny Suave: FIREMAN’S CARRY!
Unfortunately for the Millennial Man, he would meet the same fate as Andy Kaufman.
Stevens lifts the Millennial Man into the air. He then falls and drives MM’s head to the mat.
Johnny Suave: HOUSTON WE HAVE A PROBLEM!
Colleen Crowder (confused): Problem? What problem?
Stevens pulls Millennial Man back to his feet. He turns and grabs the back of MM’s head…
Johnny Suave: It’s the name of the move…TOXIC STING!
The crowd pops as Millennial Man’s body bounces after being spiked to the mat. He does a subtle 180 mid-air spin and lands on his back.
Johnny Suave: COVER. ONE-TWO-THREE!
Keels calls for the bell.
Johnny Suave: SCOTT STEVENS NAILS THE MILLENNIAL MAN WITH THE TOXIC STING AND THAT IS YOUR MATCH! Now, the question is how long did Stevens take to win this?
Colleen Crowder: Yes. Did he at least last longer than seventeen seconds?
Kimber Marshall rolls into the ring to make it official.
Kimber Marshall: Your winner…at TWENTY-ONE SECONDS…’THE SCORPION’ SCOTT SSTTEEVVEENNSS!!!”
E.J. Flack pumps his fist as the millennial reaches the goal of lasting more than seventeen seconds.
Johnny Suave: He did it! Scott Stevens demolishes the Millennial Man in twenty-one seconds to kick off PCW Extreme Political TV. Millennial Man survived twenty-one seconds.
Colleen Crowder: The narrative here is that the Millennial Man won by lasting twenty-one seconds, four seconds more than his match last weekend.
Johnny Suave: I suspect he lasted more than seventeen seconds only because Scott Stevens let him.